The GLORY of being 'SINGLE' !!!! - Page 3

Originally posted by: PhoeniXof_Hades

^^ No problems. I learned a bit or two too. 😆

Thanks, poh poh. If it weren't for you, I would have been still thinking that open relationship means a transparent relationship. Stupid me.😆 But hey, at the end of the day, we're teenagers who are still getting the hang of life and its operations. So, it's really 'kay.😆

Originally posted by: SCO_Beezie

I don't seem to get my head around the idea of open relationship though. Lack of loyalty drives me nuts. I don't see it working in my case coz I would wanna kill the dude if I see him chatting up other girls.

Agreed. More than open relationship, I can't wrap my head around the concept of open marriage. Why get married if people are not ready to be committed to someone? What's the point of marrying if they are willing to date other people - that beats the whole purpose of a marriage. But I guess to each their own.

I have to say POH is right on open relationships. Open relationships are when people are either in a long term relationship, but are open to their partners seeing other people. Some have open marriages too. I'd guess the relationships hidden from families would be 'hidden' relationships. The closet is reserved for other kinds of skeletons.

Regarding half single, technically any interpersonal communication is a relationship. Teacher-student, employer-employee, lender-borrower, they are all relationships of some sort. Friendship is also a relationship of some sort. Relationship does not always have to mean commitment, romance, or sex - there are varying degrees. I'd say people can very well find themselves half single, quarter single or even three quarters single and all sorts of confused places in their relationships. Facebook has a special place for that "Its complicated".

There is this whole limbo area of one person is sure, other is not sure, one is ready, other is not ready, its not really official, but you cant think of anyone else that way, you've been on and off, one wants to be exclusive, another wants to see other friendship, you are just friends - but there is way too much chemistry - but if you do anything more you will mess it all up - but then again you are not ready to give up or let go either, or when you are kind of exclusively seeing each other and acting like a married couple but that whole 'couple' or 'marriage' deal is so scary that you are just content being in undefined space taking it day by day, or it could be that the 'chase' is thrilling but its always better to 'be chasing' cos the phase after of 'settling' is actually very 'unsettling'.

My theory - commitments lead to expectations, expectations lead to obligations, obligations lead to complications and complications lead to frustrations. Being single is nice and easy and stress free. You only have yourself to think off. You can plan your weekend and change your plans every second and have no one getting annoyed. More importantly you don't have anyone else planning your weekend and your life or telling you what to do.

But then again we humans have this masochist button inside us that sets us off and for some reason we start deriving some sort of ecstatic pleasure laying ourselves at the hands of other people. We tie ourselves to someone and feel a sense of contentment and accomplishment and joy. Its bizarre. Maybe that is what George Orwell meant by freedom is slavery. Anyway, it happens and no matter how stupid or illogical it is - all is well.

I'm not sure about this whole commitment before/after marriage thing. Even in a marriage, when exactly does this commitment kick in? Is there like a mental trigger that goes off with the seventh phera that says 'Ah now I am committed!'? Or perhaps while putting the maala or mangal sutra or kissing the bride or when you say 'I do' or 'Kabool hai.'. I mean I'm not a big believer of all this marriage and that jazz - I'd rather have that commitment well before the marriage. Does not make sense to go through all that jazz and not know if the commitment trigger kicked in or not.

Anyway, commitments happen. Its not because you are married, or because its a relationship or any particular reason. You have a choice, you can be with anyone, go and do whatever you want - but you always comeback and be there for someone simply because you love them, you want to be there and won't have it any other way. You don't need ceremonies, legal contracts, promises or vows to show it. It shows in the way you live and how you treat the person you care for. So yeah, definitely not into the marriage thing - would do it only if it meant something deeply to the other person.

Hmm 'Am I single'. While it is indeed truly glorious to be single, this is Debate Mansion. I'm not sure who I am, so I am not sure if I am poised to answer that question without knowing who I am in the first place. I will have to assess all the probabilities and possibilities. For this is not one quantum fluctuation we are dealing with, but seeing if there is a cross connection between two such fluctuations.

So anyone down for defining this singularity of mine at a molecular level? Or is everything only upgraded to the hormonal level here?

Why open relationship?
I guess some people are totally confused and want the comfort of the relationship, with an easy get out of jail card.

Why open marriage?
Because marriage is no longer a social institution but a legal contract. Anyone can marry. People do it all the time for visas, citizenship, wealth etc. Sometimes people don't want to be married or make that commitment, but since there are legal, economic and social benefits to being married they get into open marriages. In societies where marriages can be forced people cut deals with their spouses to please families, yet have their own way too.

Not that its right of people to do it, but some people always have their bizarre reasons.

Originally posted by: SCO_Beezie

This reminds me of that thread.."Cheating is healthy for marriage".😆

Don't they say competition drives product improvements. That could be the principle. 😆

Originally posted by: shaktheback

I dunt get this 'Half- Single' thing now. Tmrw if im nt committed to my wife, can I say I'm half married ?

if you wan't. It's the english language, not a legal term. 😛

What the heck is a relationship without commitment? Granted commitment does not equate to marriage anymore, but if you're in a relationship, you are (or you should) be committed to that person. Otherwise, what is the point really? If you're not committed, then you're not in a relationship - you're, well, just friends with benefits.

Personally, I am very much single and loving every minute of it. A few years down the road, I do hope to commit myself to a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. But for now, I love my independence and would like to very much keep it in tact.

I don't consider relationships to lack commitment or to be "open". To me, a relationship is a very serious commitment one's part. I also don't think that being in a relationship steals your independence, although I'm sure that it does limit it in many ways. Balance is the key, I guess.

In my mind, the eventual result of a relationship is marriage. And although the means may be sweet, the end is certainly not what I'm looking for right now.

Oye Shak, kuch din tak toh you were waving flags of love for your girlfriend ... single hue vay do din nahi hue ke mingling ke khayal shuru! 😆