MiHar Drabble : Awakening

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Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Summary : Her first glimpse of him was not of his face but of his soul.


She was an every girl.

Washed out white. Shaped and molded by the expectations of those around her. Her speech, her thoughts, her movements. Hesitant. Shy. Almost afraid of announcing her existence. That was her intrinsic nature. To blend in and yet stand out. She was the doe eyed, soft spoken topper. Her humility came from her love for her parents and it grounded her. It kept her realistic and focused. Determined to succeed. Get good grades.

She was perfect.

She was an every girl.


She closed her eyes and let the memorized melody take over her. It defined her. More than her birth name. More than the childish yet endearing nickname everyone who knew her called her. It ran through her veins instead of blood.

Dance.

It was a sanctuary. A world of her own. A world where she could flow like a river. Undeterred. In much desired solitude. When she danced she pictured herself in an empty field. A deserted beach. A lonely dance hall.

And then it changed.

It had been destiny. It could not be called anything else. She wasn't feeling like eating any more snacks nor did she need to use the ladies room. She rarely ever stayed put in her seat during a movie interval. But this time she did. Sniffing slightly because of the brain freeze eating an ice cube had given her.

The nondescript advertisement s for coaching classes that promised to get you set for life and the insurance company fish bait bored her. She did get bored of course- she was human.

The catchy music came first. Made her look up to see a dark screen. And then, like a flame, everything was burning up.

A male form. A silhouette. Moving like he was made up of music and movement . Not blood and muscle.

It moved her mind, body and soul.

Suddenly she understood what Sonam, her best friend, a player of sorts, meant by attraction. The heat under her skin. The flare. The longing to touch. To move. To be with someone. The emptiness.

The dreamer that she was had fallen in love with him. Without even knowing who he was or what he looked like. She'd fallen for the way his body moved. A perfection she sought in the movements of her own body.

She was an every girl.

An every girl who had just started her descent into love.

And that made her feel special.

She had to grow as a dancer so she could dance by his side. In his arms.

The every girl wanted to be more than an every girl.

She wanted to be the girl he danced with.




Edited by AshReeSha - 9 years ago

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Luving_Gari thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Resss...
Will read it n give review aftr xams...
rocking_bhawna thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Wow...yaar amazing writing...u must be a writer
Couch_Potato thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
First of all, lemme just say that I love your summary. She loves him for his dance, for his skill and art. And that is his essence. And you just condensed it so amazingly well.

The first para, her description. Ahhh, its the stuff good love stories and great fanfics are made of. Just reading that makes me want to write about her. So pretty!

You do realise that we wrote about sanctuaries and water bodies completely isolated from each other don't know? Its uncanny and eerie. There's something there.

And this sentence:

A male form. A silhouette. Moving like he was made up of music and movement. Not blood and muscle.

How you stole my heart with that line. Music and movement. Sigh. I might never look at him dancing the same way again. You changed it all woman!

And then this happened:

The heat under her skin. The flare. The longing to touch. To move. To be with someone. The emptiness.

Her's first realisation of longing, her introduction to desire. Sigh.

She is an every girl but she wants to groom herself to be his. And I can see it happen that way! You make it all sound so plausible, so matter-of-fact, so real. This is how exactly I imagine it happened. No questions asked.

Ash, you have Baby's thought process and character down so well that I want more of these insights about her from you.

I want your take on each and every one of their interactions, especially that electric Shack dance. I wanna know the aftermath, I wanna understand her better and thus I want you to write her more. Please?



Edited by Couch_Potato - 9 years ago
Pixiepixel11 thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
That was beautiful and poignant.
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6

Thank you.😆
i can try writing more 😃
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7

Thank you.
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: _Samthanian_

Resss...

Will read it n give review aftr xams...


I cannot wait to see what you thought of it?
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: rocking_bhawna

Wow...yaar amazing writing...u must be a writer


A writer? Why thank you so much
SheWantsFanfic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: _Ms.Funnybee_

That was beautiful and poignant.


Thank you so much .😛

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