Hr Zulm...!(New Experimental VM @PG 139) - Page 107

Originally posted by: DUOlover123

Bahahaha.. i can only laugh now.. Good gracious.. silly me.. till the near end of the story me ulluon ki tarha Micky ko Daya and Varun ko Abhijeet samjh raha tha..🤣

Band Bejay wala Bhaloo...😉😆😆

and when you revealed it I was like 😲 and had to read the half of the story again.. i rubbed my eyes twice in between btw..😆

amazing, I thought Reader got when reading abt that Parachute Scene...😲😕

Anyways you did an awsome job... ab me kabhi bhi yaqeen nahi karunga ke aap ke writer's block h...😡 DRAMEBAAZ NI TO...!!!

ab sirf Writers Block Nahi, buht kuch chal raha hay...😭😭😭

The way you changed the characters... that really showed that they were really in disguise unlike what we get to read and see these days..

haan Thatswhy I interchanged the Characters kay pata tou chaly Disguise mein hay...😉😉

The naughty dialouges of Micky.. 😆
And that 'mai hun na' was purely a dialouge of Abhijeet but i loved this new characterization or say interchange.
anyways I loved this story to the core... can't think of any loopholes kyu aapne movie se li h na🤣

zahir hay CHAPAKHANA thi 😆😆, Loopholes kahan ssay miltay...😉😉

and last part where Abhijeet was going to shoot that other person.. usme bada ghapla hua.. scene khatm hua.. story khatm hue but mere abhi tk samjh nahi aya ke waha actually hua kya tha.. bahaha... dimagh pareshan h!

OK, KHAN and ABHIJEET Sir takes their position, DAYA Sir at middle... KHAN and ABHIJEET Sir fired at one time... DAYA Sir have that thought that if ABHIJEET Sir killed KHAN, obviously He would be in Trouble so as ABHIJEET Sir thought and to Save DAYA Sir from KHAN Sharp shoot, he fired on DAYA Sir arm, He tilt and during falling, grab ABHIJEET Sir leg so He fell down and KHAN Bullet did not Hurt ABHIJEET Sir... 😊

So overall a really great effort.. merging the storyline of a movie into a fanfic is a real tough job but you did it quite greatly.. Hamne pass kiya..

oye, matlab Bhaloo nay Pass kr diya...😉😆

now coming over to that improtant note of yours.. hmm so kindly keep on sending pms to me regarding your stories.. and agar stop kiya tooo... hmmm aapke review section me chaand ki roshni nahi aa payegi🤣 balke me to padhunga hi nahi..😡
Waiting for your next pm..

haan, dekhtay hain beta...🤔

Thank You so much for Ur Concern...🤗

God bless you.

Originally posted by: binod.abhijeet

First of all a very big thank u for pm and letting me to read such a beautiful story...i really loved the way it is presented...starting to the ending it is really a complete dose of very good episode..the story is very highy and powerfully design and wished to watch such episode in cid...dada somewahat i feel that more emphasize was given to predictor and goons but more than that trio,duo, rajat and sachin and freedy have their own space that so good..yes the last scene was the best.

Originally posted by: Forfriend

Upss BH So good... U really rewrite the whole script of the movie

Till the secret revile... I was thinking that Mickey is Daya and Varun is Abhijeet...

but u prove me wrong...

well Luck is one of my favorite movie... and love this story too...

welll written BH too good 🤗

Originally posted by: visrom

Ok...I read the latest story GD. As always your ideas are very good. Maybe it's my fault but it took me a very long time to realise that Varun and Mickey are duo. Only after the parachute scene did I realise it. When you write, you already have a picture in your mind. When they show it on screen we can anyway see the actors, but when others (dumbos like me) read it for the first time we don't get a clear picture of who is Varun and who is Mickey. So if at some point at the start if we get a clue it becomes easier to understand. In this case I had to go back and read the disguise scenes from the start to again visualise Mickey and Varun as duo. Only then I could feel the tension...of the people shooting each other and how Abhijeet luckily escaped and how he was relieved that the other guy had not died at his hands. About the movie you mentioned, I remember having seen it. Esp that shooting each other scene. Nice to see cid team in such a complex undercover operation. 😊Just that a bit more of clarity in narration would have made it interesting.

Originally posted by: Reshma.

Oh that was really a good story GD.. I never realized Varun and Mickey were duo.. Dimaag thoda kam hai 😆. The parachute scene was very good.. You've written everything very well...

Great job..😃

Aur haan.. Include me in your PM list 😊

Originally posted by: sheroo9000

Brilliant Story GD👏

Just loved it👏

Keep writing👍🏼

Thankyou...😳

Include me surely in the PM list😊

Originally posted by: -SNEHAL-

Finally read Lucky Charm.. Decide kiya tha story padhte padhte review likhungi par baad mein mujhe ye Luck film ke copy ke tarah lagne laga toh socha chalo puri story hi padh lun, fr review likhungi..

I couldn't understand who was Varun and Mickey. Last mein jab Abhijeet- Daya aaya tab samajh aaya.. I guess i have become quite a dumb

Also i didn't get what was Rajat's part.

GD i agree with visrom, abit of clarity in writing will do wonders for popat.

Hope you won't misunderstand or get hurt.

Originally posted by: rosepink.

zabardast bel.. 👏
luck version 02 😉
waise i thot micky is Daya nd Varun is abhi
coz those were perfuctly suiting d character
any ways...nice story for a nice guy 😳

Originally posted by: kkkloveu

Another masterpiece from a brilliant writer...👏
I loved it a lot dada...
the suspense was very well maintained..👏
I loved the way you started the story on a light note with duo's convo..appreciable work...⭐️
You entered the reader smoothly into the case wihout much khitar pitar...
Acp sir's brief to sachin and rajat about the case was very good...
Then Abhijeet- Rajat convo was simply mind blowing dada...the way abhijeet sir undeliberately uttered those words was very well shown and added a realistic charm to the story...and then the way he covered up his mistake..sharp shine haan...😆
Then again the introduction of MIcky and Varun was very well shown...👏
It was there i guessed that micky is daya sir while varun is abhijeet but in the later part i got confused as micky somewhere had the characteristics of daya sir like singing and somewhere abhijeet like witty remarks..
It was when you showed varun a less talkative and a character who enjoyed silence and nature i knew that he is daya and Micky is abhijeet...intelligent na..thank you thank you..
I am still not able to get the role of major and fahad in the story and rajat's task too...
I have not watched Luck but i think i don't need to watch it now as you have showed me the movie with my heroes itself..
Thanks a lot dada for such a masterpiece..
It was really fun to read...and believe me it was truly a great one..👏 all the credit goes to popat and Luck makers...😆
Take care dada...
Bye..
Allah aapko jaldi se theek kare...aameen..😳