STORY CONTEST 3 - RESULTS ON PAGE 10

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Bhavanab

@Bhavanab

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

No No Rashu you are supposed to PM Visrom your marks on 10 for each story !!! 0.5 option is available !!! PM your marks to her simply that's it !!

And yeah will be waiting for your review on each story !!! If you're confused have a look at the old story contest threads to see how we reviewed !!

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

You all have to read all stories and give marks out of 10 (rounded to 0.5) and PM them to me. Don't give marks to your own stories. I have written this on the first post.

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LadyMeringue

@LadyMeringue

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

Thanks for informing me Bhavana di and Visrom di..... and yeah, looks like I've to look through the the old story contest thread again!!!!😕

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Bhinder

@bhinder.thind

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: Rashida13
Thanks for informing me Bhavana di and Visrom di..... and yeah, looks like I've to look through the the old story contest thread again!!!!😕

waiting for your feedbacks Rashida!! make it ASAP

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LadyMeringue

@LadyMeringue

Sparkler

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

Arre yaar, I'vent finished reading the stories yet.......

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

My comments.

Story 1 : Deviation from plot. The plot specifies that the gold is for research and not jewellery. And the suitcase contains important documents. This part of the plot has been missed. Otherwise, good attempt. Reminded me of one episode - a khoon in a hotel and an auto driver's wife turns out to be a princess....something like that. 😆👏

Story 2: Deviation from plot again. Showed a 'sweet' side of Daya. Landed Sachin in trouble. Freddie gave some ideas. The idea of Sachin's dark glasses getting clouded due to AC breeze is good. But really, do sunglasses get foggy in AC? I've never tried. 😛 Could have reduced some of the 'drama' as we are getting a bit too much of it on TV.

Story 3: Good one...stuck to plot, nice clues and fingerprint matching. Used our dear Fireworks' formula well. 👏

Story 4: Merged 2 parallel plots into the story. The manner in which the suitcase was taken out by a man hidden in the dikki was very nice. Very good attempt . Pls write more stories. I had some confusion in understanding the hindi written in English for eg 'gher' for 'ghar' and 'kere' for 'kare'. But it's ok, sabka apna style hai. I enjoyed it.⭐️👏

Story 5: Good story, it was in narrative form, but somehow I felt like I was reading Priya's update after an episode was over. There are other stories writtten in English too, but they gave a feel of some 'action' happening. Never mind, it's a good attempt, you have good ideas, do write more. There were lot of murders happening, something which FW is famous for of late. Used some of the past episodes information very well - 571E1115, return of jewel thief etc. Good attempt. 👏

Story 6: Interesting story. Came very close to what I had in mind. The narration was good and stylish. Hope to read many more stories from you, not just for contests. (because I know this person has participated in a previous contest too)⭐️👏

Story 7: Good story. Had a downpour of laashes in true FW style, but no probs. Overall it was interesting. Hope to read more from you. 👏

Story 8: Just started, some people phasofied Sachin, but this person has phasaofied Vivek!!! 😆

Why did the AKA mood spill onto this story? While reading it, I started feeling sad, remembering the crap that isbeing shown. 😒 Esp Abhijeet saying 'kuch hai toh tumhe hi bataaonga' and all. We are seeing all these being butchered on screen.

Otherwise idea was good. hoping that AKA is also something like this and ends on a happy note. Overall good story. 👏

Story 9: A drama of the cop being the real father of Raghu's son was introduced. Could have thought of something else, because we are getting an overdose of soapish stuff of late on TV too.

Overall it's ok. Good attempt.👏

Story 10 and 11: read in a hurry, sorry, cannot post comments now. Will do so later. Will give marks now.

Edited by visrom - 14 years ago

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Bhinder

@bhinder.thind

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: Rashida13
Arre yaar, I'vent finished reading the stories yet.......

okay tell you easy way,.. as you are reading stories start posting comments one by one followed by editing your post.. understand what i mean na? same here.. as i am reading, i am making rough feedbacks ... but now on I pod, so will post as got home.. so you can start .,.. easy as wear and tear ..lol?

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Shruti Chatterjee

@shreela

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#18

First of all, congrats to all story-writers. I guess everyone had done very nice job.😊 Now coming to the review:-

1st story- slight far from the given plot, but still a good one! The idea of secret treasure is quite interesting! Keep writing buddy!👍🏼

2^nd story- nice try. Especially the emotional part of the young boy and his sister is very sweet. But sorry to say, the last scene of duo, is an unnecessary one. Another mistake I noticed, how could the jeweler notice the mark on the lady's neck, when she was in burqua? I know who is the writer, but may be I am not not permitted to write his name, so dear writer, plz try to avoid those useless dialogues. Otherwise, it's a quite good story.

3^rd story- very nice story. The main clue of the story is a different one! Like the story.👏

4^th story- awesome job! Superb plot, strong script, one of the best story in my opinion! Love it!👏⭐️

5^th story- good job, but it would be more nice to read if written in dialogue format. Still, good work!😃

Will post comments on other stories after finish reading.

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#19

Ok, I read 3 stories and am in the middle of the 4th story. From 4 stories, I understand that the word 'gold' means jewellery to most of us. The little 'hint' in the story was that the gold here was not jewellery but was used for some secret project.

Gold has many other applications besides making jewellery. You may look at the World Gold Council website.

http://www.gold.org/technology/research/

http://www.gold.org/technology/uses/

Now, why I got this brainwave all of a sudden was because my dad used to work for the Dept of Atomic Energy. On one instance he had to pick up gold bars from RBI for his company. He had 2 cops accompanying him with huge rifles and travelled in one of those vehicles which come to refill ATMs with cash - with grilles and all. Nothing went wrong there, but I asked my dad as to what were they doing with all that gold and he said that it was used in electronics etc (I was too young to understand).

i was really expecting a better explanation of the 'gold' here. I wanted the 'gold' to lead into something more dangerous and our CID team cracking a much more complex case, not a simple chori ka case. I had hinted at that too in the plot. Just my frank opinion.

Anyway...no probs. The chori cases are interesting too. I can see different ways in which someone can steal things from a car. And let me read further....maybe the others have made use of this hint.....😊