Your experience with IF - Page 27

hii, i am quite sure that most of you probably won't know me and senior member's would have probably forgotten...then why am i doing this?...well i accidently came across this thread after a very very long time and the title " ur experiance with if "...it struck me that after i had gained a life changing experience here it would be a terrible shame not to acknoweldge it...

and moreover i have learnt lately that holding things from the people u care, is never good ( even if u r trying to spare them of agony) whatever it be , distress or happiness share it with the people who care about you...whatever comes to your mind, speak aloud ( don't wait for the right time 'cause there is never one and there may be a chance u'll never get one)...consider this as my last statement to this forum

sticking to the truth,

i had joined this forum only to read the stories( at first)...the whole idea of chatting with people i've never met gave me the creeps ( i knw i'm a wierdo)...but slowly i began to settle, mainly 'cause of prabha dii ( somehow just her presence here was overwelming to me and after the first story contest i started to pm her and she must have thought she got herself a new stalker..) but even then it was just me and the stories...

some of the very first people i've met here through the contest were bhavna, sunny, visrom, shagnika and drilab...

sunny was the first one who came forward with a handshake, he perfectly understood from the very first pm itself that i was an introvert and he told me it was okay to feel shy and that i should take my time being comfortable here and then get active ( it was the way he started out , he said) ...one of the first friends i've had. sunny ( if u r reading this) do u remember that poll by drilab , when asked something about who would we want to be in cid... girlfriend, sister ..can't exactly remember what...but i said i wanted to be the villain and u replied that someone would have to go through you to get to me first ( what was that role u were doing) ...at first i didn't get what u meant , the whole" you'll have to get through me first" creeped me out and i panicked telling myself that i'll never post anything again and then u pm ed me explaining things..i even pm ed my twinny(since she was constantly bugging me by telling that i wasn't aactive enough) telling her that this is what happenes when i become active..i end up being over-reactive...i believe that to be our first real accquaintance ...then when it came to the combined story, he was in my helpdesk ...real friend, though that would be an underestimation

then with visrom, never got to realy know her enough though i wanted to ...we could only relate with story contest then and same thing went with drilab...

( according to me, these two were next in command to prabha dii )...the trio of this forum

chinnu chechi is another adorable person this forum has given me , a true chechi for me and i believe i've told her that too...but i admire her more for the way she handles english, i never seen any one in this forum write with such linguistic beauty., u brought literature to a crime series... one of those shakespearean types and thats what got u my appraisal and for the support u showed me, while i acted like a five year old ( remember the time, while my mom was sick and i had to sit at home)

then last year there came the newbie, gadhadada---i think finally god sent me someone to torment...someone to call me "dii" and wanted my opinion on things.. someone for me to spoil around, a real sport she was, the ideas she had was all big time ones , she would never settle for smooth and subtle( truly an upcoming phenomenal writer with a lot of potential in store...u just need to straighten her sometimes ) and yes, the emotions , she just loved playing with them...she was always trying to evolve that sibling relationship of our duo in her stories which shows she's a " family girl"...my little sis here

now there is the twinnies ( though i regret having to call u that since u know that she and me have taken the patent for that name) bhavna and shagnika. dii..both i got to know through my her ...she was the one who told me what great support system u gave her and that's why i liked u guys more.the kind of stories u wrote were too realistic...when writing fictions like these( for an ongoing show), one has to study the characters very closely but.u guys lived weren't just studying them, were you?...u lived them...somehow that excitement of having an outer state dii's was way out of the league happiness for me...u guys showed interest in me by my work , for the first time someone didn't call me a psychopath after reading my views...or atleast understood it ofcourse other than my twinny...it was the first time i really felt i was worthy of having people around...my friends back home they knew me for years and it took them that long to open me up but u guys understood me by my work...even when i left and still leaving again, i'd always cherish u guys

my very own twinny

now, anyone who knew me well here, also know that i'm here 'cause of a certain person, a person who fought so much to get me out of the shell i've had created against the society, she showed that there is still goddness left amongst some...'cause of her i started writing again and she cherished even the paper bits of poetry i carelessly throwed away...she was never my friend ( that title never goes with me) she was my little sis ( she even used to call me chechi back then)...that's what happens with all my relations i could never stay just friendly after a while i become overprotective like she was my sibling...maybe thats what got me into this fix right now and last year it was around this time , i dedicated my most prized work to her , a work on siblings: that work reflected how much both of us cared for our brother's and we would do absolutely anything to be their precious ones, it didn't matter how old we were but we just wanted to cuddle in their arms like we were in the toddler age...she was what kept me fixed here, a sort of a root system for me...this forum is not where i found her but this is where we bonded so much...and i thank this forum for that...i'll never stop caring and you'll still be in the same place you had owned before, it doesn't matter that i am going away for who knows how long...just keep this in mind ," if " we see each other again ( though i don't know the probability of that)

as my final fix, this place was so warm and it gave people like me a chance to open up ( even if it was only for a while) , i have tasted the fruit of friendliness here beyond the limits of borders...and i appreciate that very much ( for the care, advices, support, sisterliness and friends)

thank you