How is she so open to a 2nd marriage?

Page

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

This question has been in my head ever since we saw Umaben plot against CC with Thakkar and promising him that Manav and his daughter will get married. BUT, how are they so "okay" with it? Umaben? Thakkar? Sonali?

I can still understand Thakkar being okay with it, because he respects UB a lot and thus won't defy her, and she does know how to do the talking. What I don't get AT ALL, is Umaben being so cool with it. I know that she absolutely hates Chhanchhan but no matter how manipulative she may be, she is still one of those traditional people, and as per "traditions" a second marriage is a no-no.

The society may not talk in front of her, but they would definitely talk behind her back should Manav get married again ... especially because she is such a respected person.

Does she hate CC so much, that she is willing to risk her entire reputation just to get CC out of the house? Or is she not as traditional as she appears to be? Or is it something else altogether?

Quote

Frequent Posters

MadhuO

@MadhuO

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

Thakker - Coward of a man...what kind of man/father would want his daughter in a house where there is a woman who has told him that she will break up her sons's marriage so that his daughter can marry her son...and the "money" is being exchanged at the Son's wedding.

Umaben - She is a "tolerated" rich woman in the society - people say "respect" to her face but have no balls to stand up to her simply because she has money. If the money goes so will her so called "respect".

She is only interested in ruining Chhanchhan's respect.

Nobody will point a finger at Manav, because he is a man and of course it will be portrayed by UB that Chhanchhan is at fault because she is 'Modern" and has no family values.

My POV...

Edited by MadhuO - 12 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

showviewer

@showviewer

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Uma Ben is conservative, but she is also a clever woman who bends traditions and customs to suit her interests. If you look around there are many such people among us.

Yes, divorce and second marriage, though is growing in some urban sections of the population, is still very much looked down upon, no matter what the circumstances. People prefer to make the marriage work somehow over separation. But in case there is a separation and second marriage, it is much more acceptable for men than women and even more so in conservative sections. Indian society is patriarchal to a great extent where the leeway given to men is much more than women. A woman's reputation is sullied much faster than a man's and a man is given more concessions socially. So, a man's remarriage is more acceptable and even encouraged than a woman's remarriage and this is more so when children are involved.

So, Uma Ben breaking Manav's marriage is a small set back for Borisagar's and Manav compared to the benefits she sees- in getting the kind of bahu she wants and the money she is getting for dowry. The reputation of the girl, in this case Chhanchhan, is in further jeopardy as she will labelled as a woman who could not maintain her marriage and was rejected by her husband and in-laws (as Uma Ben hopes Manav will throw her out of the house). Unfair yes, but in patriarchal societies and especially in conservative circles there is a premium put on a girl's reputation and once damaged it is difficult, not impossible, to recover. So, it will will be a bigger set back for Chhanchhan than Manav. This is not restricted to India, it exists in various degrees in many societies of the world.

Coming to why Sonali or Thakkarbai want this marriage to go through or are in cahoots with UB, that we will find out in this upcoming track. Is there hidden agenda of Sonali and Thakkarbhai which even UB does not know or are they doing it simply to get the reputation of being in Borisagar household we will know soon.

Edited by showviewer - 12 years ago

Quote

Guinea

@Guinea

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Very good question ...i donot think she sees channchann and manav's marriage to be a real one and she is so blinded by her ego that she does not consider the repurcussions of a failed marriage will have on manav's life as well as her family.

Their have been some hints given where it is obvious she has manipulated her elder son's personal life as well ...

Edited by Guinea - 12 years ago

Quote

Swetha

@Chaandaniya

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

If this is traditional according to UB and thakker I don't know what to say right now does she even care about Manav happiness? She want him with a girl of her choice does she know Manav can't live without CC? She's a Hypocrite only thinking about herself. And Thakker is actually willing to get his daughter married to a already married man? if this girl doesn't know Manav is married then that make Thakker a bad father keeping such a big thing from this daughter if she knows then she's a woman with no self respect who's willing to accept an already married man for her own sake.

Quote

DiyaS

@DiyaS

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

Umaben is a woman who enjoys being the queen bee in her own family and in her society ... her word should be law and no one should counter it at all. Even in the smallest things ... we've seen when her sons or DILs try to exchange the jobs she gives them for their convenience, she promptly interchanges them back again ... just to show her authority.

Chanchhan is the only person who has challenged that authority, challenged Umaben's decisions and got away with it. So Umaben thinks Chhanchhan is not the right DIL for her family ... and definitely not the right DIL for HER ... as she is not scared or overawed by Umaben and stands up to her ... or did before marriage. Even after marriage, she is not scared of Umaben, she is trying to find her feet in the family, and in that process, has already broken some norms of the house. That makes her undesirable in Umaben's eyes as a bahu ... Umaben believes that Manav will get over Chhanchhan if she manages to engineer a split between them, and it will be better for the family to have a more subservient bahu.

As for second marriage for Manav ... as others have said, for a man in our society it doesn't matter as much as it does for a girl ... espcially if it happens the way Umaben wants ... that Manav himself throws Chhanchhan out ... Chhanchhan will be badmouthed ... Umaben wants to engineer things so that CC is shown at fault and all the blame for the broken marriage falls on her.

Quote

vittoriA Giardano

@kbtr

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

UB is so entrenched in her hatred for Chhan Chhan that she really is unable to fathom the ramifications of her actions. According to her current mindset, she is determined that Manav will marry Sonali. And she feels that Manav will do her bidding. After he throws Chhan Chhan out of the house. This is what she is thinking, right now.

So her sole purpose in life, right now, is to have Chhan Chhan thrown out. Preferably by Manav. All her actions are geared towards that.

She has not thought of what will happen after. All she wants right now is Chhan Chhan out. In her mind, after that, Manav will get married. There will be small hiccups, maybe he will feel sad, maybe society will gossip, maybe Manav will refuse to marry again. She has the utmost confidence in herself. Being UB. She will overcome these. She has ruled the roost for a long time now, with no objections. In fact, as we have seen, people have fawned over her. So what's a little thing like a marriage that didn't work out with a girl who was shameless, disrespectful, untraditional? It was the girl's fault and good riddance! This will be her argument to the society. And society will accept it. Because UB is one of the "respected" ones. This is the scenario going on in UB's mind right now. Past that, she cannot see anything! Never mind, how her family's name will be dragged through mud, never mind how a girl's name will be sullied and her reputation ruined, never mind that her son's life will be ruined...

What about society and traditions? Read

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3660839

Quote

incandescent

@incandescent

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

I personally don't think UB is traditional. Well, she is certainly considered traditional by the society because she supposedly follows all the rituals and norms of society but she doesn't grasp the true meaning of things. Had she really been traditional, she would have respected the sanctity of marriage. Had she been a good person and a good mother, she would respect her son's feelings who she is manipulating for her selfish interests. For her tradition is her key through which she manipulates for her benefits.

Yes, people will talk for a while if her son marries for a second time but then he is a man. One of the biggest social evil is the fact that whenever a marriage breaks, the UBs of the society like to blame the girl and the UB in the show is heavily banking on that. Her plan is break the marriage and blame CC for it and she's trying to turn her family against CC so that by the end of it, nobody from the Borisagar family sides with her. People will blame, but won't blame the boy. They will blame the girl and this is exactly what UB wants.

Quote

prernacda

@prernacda

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

she hates cc...loves sonali and will do anything to go back to her original plan of heving her as dil, esp as she has collected her cash...

question is how can sonali accept marrying manav knowing that he loves someone else...does she have no self-respect!

Quote

416391

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Thanks for all your replies! :)

Agreed, that Manav's 2nd marriage will damage Chhanchhan's reputation WAY more than Manav's. And I'm positive she knows and understands that very clearly. What appalls me the most is that inspite of being a married woman herself, she's going out of her way to break up the marriage of her son simply because the girl he chose dared to stand up to her. And at this point I honestly feel bad for her other sons, because it's been evident since the beginning that Manav is her ladla .. And if she's willing to do this to her ladla, and turn a blind eye to his happiness so easily I wonder what she must have done to her other sons, especially where their marriages are concerned coz again, the other 3 bahus were completely her choice. At some point in the show .. I'd like to know more about the back story of the other marriages.

Getting back to the topic .. Her reputation will get damaged too won't it? Because other than the family, and Thakkar .. no one really knows that CC is not UB's choice. Will the society .. ppl like Purvi's and Hitesh's parents trust UB enough in finding a partner for their children anymore .. knowing that she chose someone so "wrong" for her own son, that their marriage simply crumbled? Or as always, will UB manage out of the situation with her conniving and manipulative behavior such that ppl blame CC more than they would have otherwise?

Quote

1 2

How is she so open to a 2nd marriage?

Related Topics

Explore Topics