Hopefully Anu. But I dunno how I'm going to go without her. I can't imagine a day where she won't be my friend. We have been too close to go on without each other. She was going through break up for past 6 months. I tried helping her in whatever way I could. I talked to her if she needed. Gave her time when she needed. Just whatever she wanted but I feel like in all this, I was the only one making efforts, trynna save this friendship. I know I'm being selfish and I shouldn't be but all I wanted was her to at least make some effort for me. Just a little effort just so that I could feel happy that I mattered. It had been killing me inside for months now and I just let it go. Hoping I would talk to her once she feels better and she would understand. And then she texted me last week that now she feels better and I was happy. So finally on Friday we had our plan to go out which flopped because some guests came over at her house and I was pissed. Not really at her but just pissed that everytime I would ask her to come with me, one or another reason would crop up and she would flop and sometimes she wouldn't just msg me and I would keep waiting. It hurts you know? Not like she doesn't go out. She's been going out alone, with other people, buying stuff and I waited for her to go out. I just didn't go out with anyone or alone. I was waiting for her to feel better. Then she would talk to other friends and everyone else but when it came to me, it was always me texting her and she would reply to the point. You know it hurts? It hurts when u care so much for someone and that person treats u like shit. Even if I ended up getting mad at her, it was always me texting back to mend things, not her. Like I don't even a deserve a fight after giving in so much?
You know she probably wanted a break from everything which is fine but let me know u need a break and I would have obliged. Just given me enough respect to let me know right? She just stopped talking to me. I texted her few times and I got no reply even though she used to be online on viber and whatsapp and all. And then at work, she didn't even say hi to me. I was left wondering what happened. It's fine u need a break but a simple hi? Or just a simple explanation as to what went wrong? Like is that what I'm reduced to where I don't even get a heads up while she's fine with everyone else? I know these are little things but they matter. Even my parents and bros make fun of me for being so stupid, so invested when the other party doesn't feel the same.
Finally when we decided to talk, things ended. And it hurts.
Sorry for ranting Anu. Just needed to let this out. Been holding this in for way too long.
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