B&G with attitude probs #130 IO link pg120 - Page 62

Originally posted by: shininggal2008

Both of you come back soon!

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of
his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before
he died, he said to his wife,

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that
when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. Well,
he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in
black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When
they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got
ready ! to close the casket, the wife said,

"Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in
the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled
it away.
So her friend said,

"Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all
that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied,

"Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.

If he can cash it, he can spend it!"

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,
'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning,
there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut,
and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied,
'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up,
there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut,
and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied,
'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up,
there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

I was out walking with my Grandson.

He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth.

I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that.

'Why' my Grandson asked.

"Because it's been on the ground;
you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked,

"Grandma, how do you know all this stuff??
You are so smart."

I was thinking quickly and said to him,

"all Grandmas know stuff. It's on the Grandma Test.

You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,
but he was evidently pondering this new information.

"Oh....I get it! he beamed,

So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa".

'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

Andy said, 'Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . ..'

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here.'

Originally posted by: khote-da-puttar

arey why are u crying, all i am saying is ki agar pain o raha hai to rest kar lo, jab thik ho jao ya better feel karo tab aa jana😕

Man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard
him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right'

Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died.

I married his widow

Originally posted by: dmg_fanatic

sorry 😊

Originally posted by: khote-da-puttar

sorry kyu bol rahi ho, how is ur pain now, is it still paining alot?????????????