Talking is not enough

Hello everyone,

I'm mostly new to this forum, so just introducing myself. I am Minnie and I work in a women's shelter. I was studying psychology, but...anyways the rest is not important. What's important is the bit that I did say.

Ever since I read about Sushant's death, I've been visiting this forum and seeing people say "we should talk with each other more" and "reach out" and "we're there" and so on. I think it's time to set the record straight. Talking is not enough and asking people to reach out is not enough.

Depression is not a one-size fit's all condition. In fact, most mental conditions are not, but let's talk about depression. Depression is a feeling of utter helplessness. It's a feeling that there's nothing left in the world for you. It's a feeling of just being a nobody, nothing, worthless. And everyone feels that in a different way.

Having worked in a women's shelter for just over 10 years, I've seen depression in so many different forms. Yet, I still don't have an easy solution to helping a woman out of depression. But here are a few things I've noted over the years:

1. You have to make the first move and recognize that someone is feeling "down". If you are talking to them and they sound desolate, reach out to them. If you are sitting beside or across someone and they seem to be inching away from you or turning away, there might be something there. I don't mean this literally. Not everyone turning away from you is depressed, but it's a sign, especially if they are your friend.
2. Don't just expect the person to open to you if you do talk to them. I don't know how many times I had to talk to the same person four, five times before they finally said something. Even one sentence. It's not like you're going to reach out and the person will immediately start talking.
3. It's very rare for a depressed person to reach out, but if they do, understand that they may be at the last leg. They've tried and tried, but they haven't been able to get better. They trust you enough to reach out. Be there for them. I know we're all busy, but if someone is calling you and you know that they have been depressed, then ANSWER THAT PHONE! In my years at the shelter, we have had many cases where we have just been barely able to save someone. Don't let that happen to someone you know or care about. ANSWER THAT PHONE! Please. That person has reached out to you. They trust you. They think you can save them. Be there for them. I'm sure people around you will understand if you explain later that it was a matter of life or death.

I honestly don't share my personal life or my work experiences with people a lot. But when it's something I'm passionate about, I will speak up. You can ask people from the Silsila forum. When there was something worth discussing, I would share openly. Because it is my mission to ensure that no woman suffers, but above all that we all begin to understand the various mental conditions that humans can have - and no they aren't all madness.

I'm sorry if this isn't the forum to share this, but given I've been visiting this forum and I saw the topics here, I thought it was best to share here.

Thank you.

Thank You for good guidance.

Thank you for sharing this. It's worth it. Thanks a lot ❤️