I woke up to the tragic news of SSR passing away, I couldn’t process this information. I saw him for the first time in Kai Po Che, I liked him in it. Then I saw Shudh Desi Romance and he was one of my teenage crushes. Fast forward to 2018, I followed him on IG and kept up with his posts. One day, he followed me back, I was so happy and excited. He often replied to comments on his posts and followed random people on IG and had conversations with them. He woke up at 5 am and posted interesting facts everyday, encouraged his fans to wake up early by talking to them and following them back, he build such a trustworthy friendship with fans. It was like a small community. He would talk to us, give us advices, and most of us often followed including me.
Every morning I woke up early just to talk to him, he would reply to my comments almost every day, I can’t express how special and important he made every fan of his feel. He was a supremely intelligent man, he was so curious to learn every little aspect of life. He was so curious and interested in astronomy and physics, he would teach and introduce us to various new facts and phenomenons to us. He made a list of his 150 dreams which included learning how to fly a plane, participating in triathlon, and encouraged us to make a list of ours. He posted our lists on his stories and would say how much he loved inspiring us. He also donated Rs 1 Crore by a fan’s name to for Kerala Floods because that fan commented saying he didn’t have enough money to make a donation. He was such a warm and a kind soul.
He was very close to his mother and would often post about her, in mid 2019, he stopped making his early-morning posts, and wasn’t active as much as before. He deactivated his account once and I knew something was wrong, when he was back on IG, most of his posts were about his mother, with deep captions that would make me feel he’s seeking love, acceptance and nurturing. I felt he wasn’t keeping well, I often commented on his posts and DM’ed him asking if he was okay, he wouldn’t reply and I knew something was wrong. He didn’t post much about the things he loved: physics and astronomy, when I saw his pictures from recent public appearances;my heart would often tell me that he wasn’t happy. I felt as if I could see right past through eyes. I still kept DM’ing him for I knew he wouldn’t reply but he would still read it and know that there are millions of us who love him with all our heart, who wait to watch him perform and are inspired by his talent and hard-work, I hoped it would make him feel better, feel good. The last message I sent to him was when Irrfan Khan Sir passed away, I felt his loss personally and wasn’t in a good state and I immediately felt the need to check up on him, I felt extremely scared and anxious at that time, because he wasn’t active on any SM platform nor did he reply to anyone. I wanted to know if he was okay, he then made a post for Irrfan Sir and I was relieved. After watching Kedarnath, I kept DM’ing him how I couldn’t overcome Mansoor dying and I bad I still feel about it but look what a shocker life gave me today, It pains me to know that I couldn’t help him at all but those who could, who were aware, who were close, who knew, chose not to help him.
Just 3 days back I had commented on this sub that I wish SSR and RKR to see immense success and today my heart is ripped apart. I feel anger more than I feel sadness and it’s because he was bullied into taking the decision he took today. He wasn’t someone who would give up so easily, he was bullied to an extent he couldn’t take it anywhere. Those Bollywood biggies who are mourning his death and making posts/tweets asking people to seek medical help or talk to them are the same ones who did not help their fellow colleague despite knowing his suffering. As much as I have loved Bollywood, today I hate it, I hate the internal dirty politics it plays, I hate the fact that most of them are shallow hypocrites. I don’t care what anyone thinks but I blame the industry and its bigwigs for this loss today. Akshay tweeted saying how sad he was and how much he wanted to be a part of Chhichhore and loved the film, but he didn’t appreciate the film of SSR’s performance back when it released. Alia Bhatt mourns his loss but girl, remember you were the one who made fun of SSR by pretending not to know of his existence. And my beloved Kjo has made it all about himself and expects us to buy his crap of being devastated and blaming himself for not talking to him when he was the one to postpone the release of Drive and refuse to spend money of editing and then finally releasing it online, not only that when SSR didn’t promote the movie much, Kjo started a smear campaign against him by spreading fake news items of him being bankrupt, being a stud, being a “tv actor”, and being troublesome; not to forget the fake #metoo campaign. And this KRK who is tweeting for him now is the same person who trolled him endlessly and made comments like “isko vapas tv pe bhi jana padega” “he’s flop” etc.
These are just some examples of how outsiders are treated in the industry, how they are cornered/ignored until and unless they bootlick these biggies, and that is why I have huge respect for Kangana and others. Not to forget what Aditya Chopra did to him, he was done bad by almost everyone just because he wasn’t a peoples-pleaser. They cornered him, outted him from the industry, he had to personally request people in the comments to watch his film because he didn’t have a godfather and would be kicked out of bollywood if he failed, he was his own cheerleader, no one from the industry came forward to hype him and his work up, support him or at least congratulate him. I would request you all from my heart to support real talented artists alongside your nepo favorites.
Please please from the bottom of my heart, I request you to rather hype people like SSR and RKR instead of discussing or making fun of Ananya Pandey’s talent of touching her nose, if you can give her love and attention, please give it these outsiders as well who have been working in the industry for years but don’t get their due appreciation and success because the media wants to cover a toddler starkid who just started walking.
After working in 10 films SSR wasn’t given his due but a starkid with one flop film is still entertained and discussed, even if it’s just to make fun of them. I really would want you guys to invest your time, love, money and attention equally to all the artists and please please start hyping and appreciating true artists, go tell Abhay Deol or Imraan Khan or Richa Chaddha or Ali Zafar or Akshaye Khanna or Kriti Sanon or Bhumi or Tapsee or anyone else how much you love them or appreciate their work, I can’t imagine another outsider/artist succumbing to this bullying like SSR, right now it’s Kartik Aryan who is being portrayed as troublesome just because he is climbing the ladder of success, please support our artists instead of just gossiping or mocking about them. I wanted to become an actor but today I hate bollywood, I can’t do it but if it happens guys, if I become an actor and if I ever receive an award, I will dedicate it to Sushant Singh Rajput and Irrfan Khan. Please let’s make a change, let’s hype and appreciate good work and good actors, let’s equally distribute our attention. And, I pledge to not watch Dharma and YRF from today, cause boy you all twats suck.
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
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