DerangedI wait..! I wait for my mother to notice me. For her to notice that I am hungry. But she is very busy feeding my brother. My foster brother who killed his parents even before he could be born.
But the adoration I see for him in my mother's eyes makes me feel as if I am her foster son. I look at my father who is always immersed in his madheera and doesnt have time for me. I look at my mother who is either busy with Politics or him. I hate my life.
But I hate him more for making my life like this.
I watch him as he takes aim on his bow and hits his target getting praised by many. I am not good with bow and arrow or sword. So I never get that praise. But no one notices that I could destroy anything with bare hands. I hate that no one recognizes my talents.
And I hate him for doing this to me.
I see him running to that slave and eating from his plate. I have been told by father that slaves are to be treated as slaves. But he is eating with them? What does anyone have to say about that? But everyone smile for that? He turns to look at his mother who is looking at him with this smile of hers that should have been for me.
I look at my plate and I feel that my hunger has died.
I hate him for being so good.
I watch him as he fights every single arrow with just sword. I see Mother looking at him with pride. I see girls going crazy over him. I see kids adoring him. And I see the Gadha in my hand and I let it fly. It hits the rock breaking it into pieces. I look up at Mother who looks at me with pride, but not joy. I look at the women who are running behind him but not even sparing me a look. I see kids getting scared of me.
I hate myself for expecting anything else.
And I hate him for being the most approachable one.
I see him fighting efficiently with no sophisticated weapons like me. He is moving forward with great speed while my sword chariot refuses to move. I see him boosting the Mahasena and getting them to fight for the nation. But all I could think is of killing Kaalakeya. For once I want what is mine!
And I know that I will hate him if he is going to take what is his.
Amma has announced the king. And that is not me! But I don't hate him. I downright abhor him.
Wherever I go, I hear him being hailed. Whenever I see him bowing down to Amma and Amma giving him blessings, I feel my blood boiling. Whenever I hear about Pattabhishekam being taken with his name, my head breaks.
And I hate him for making his life hell.
I heard from a spy that he has fallen in love. And I see the painting only to hate him more. Every best thing reaches him.
At last, I am getting what is mine. But only to be taken by him again. Even being a king did not help cool the rage in me. Because again I was shadowed by him. Every single thing that I wanted in my life, went to him. My mother, her love for me, my power, position, throne, the girl I wanted. Every single thing.
Even with me being the king, he is being hailed. Even though he is thrown out of the palace, he lives like a king while I live in confusion and fear?
No! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM SO MUCH THAT HIM BEING ALIVE BOTHERS ME TO EXTENT OF MAKING ME DERANGED!
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