One more please-retire-from-acting piece of evidence for Himesh Reshammiya. Momentarily titled Guns N' Roses, perhaps fearing a lawsuit from the super rock band, it went through a renaming ceremony. Himesh bhai played a gangster (really, now) who admits that he spent a night and maybe one morning with a hooker. Horrified, his girlfriend zooms off to Dublin and is arrested on charge of drug running. Gangsterji must break her out of jail now and turns deathly pale.
What Shekhar Kapoor and Naseeruddin Shah were doing out here will remain more mysterious than a classic Agatha Christie whodun-what. Maybe, they wanted to see the sights of Dublin. Did they? Doubtful.
5) Mohenjo Daro
Director Ashustosh Gowariker, our very own Adonis Hrithik Roshan, a cameo by a toothy rubbery crocodile, A R Rahman's music, a story intended to edify us on the ancient Indus valley civilisation and a limitless budget. What more could any sane Bollywood filmgoer want? Plenty as it turned out. The promos were ghastly enough. The entire 155-minute experience was worse, and that's putting it politely.
6) A Flying Jatt
Director Remo D'Souza can surely make actors dance, yaaay. On superhero turf, however, he essentially goaded Tiger Shroff and Jacqueline Fernandez to collaborate on rescuing a strategically-located housing colony from the wrath of the menacing Kay Kay Menon and a renegade baddy over-enacted by Nathan Jones. Even the hysterics of the usually likeable Amrita Singh as Mother Colony, couldn't save this Udta Jatt from being given the heave-ho from the plexes.
7) Rock On 2
Et two, Farhan Akhtar? The co-producer and star of the sequel about a rockish band beset by ego and miscellaneous personality disorders, couldn't get his gig together at all. Shraddha Kapoor strived to sing again. More fatally, the Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy muzak was an ear-sore.
8) Baar Baar Dekho
High hopes indeed! Why would anyone in his or her right mind want to wander into this time-travel mind-scrambler? Katrina Kaif looked haute enough, Siddharth Malhotra looked as dazed and confused as a kid spoilt for choice in a candy shop. Admittedly the Kaala Chashma number was cool but you could always watch it on Youtube, couldn't you?
9) The Legend Of Michael Mishra
A small town crook -kidnapping, making scary faces - goes to jail. The screenplay doesn't end there alas. He returns to look for the love of his life who has showbiz aspirations. The coosome twosome are incarnated by Arshad Warsi and Aditi Rao Hydari. Boman Irani (yeah, not a great year for him) attempts to raise tee-hees as Full Pant in the company of his real-life son, Kayoz, doing a Half Pant. Er, the zabardasti-karke jabs at humour had my knickers in a bunch.
10) Tutak Tutak Tutiya
Some alliterative title that. Prabhu Deva's always worth a toe-tap. Not in this TTT-thingo though. Co-produced by actor Sonu Sood who also non-acts in this mess about Deva saab getting married to Tamannah Bhatia. Uh huh, she's not his type it seems. Tables and chairs turn eventually, natch. Believe it or faint, there's a touch of the supernatural too. Aargh, what were Sood and Deva eating. Dabba-ghost?
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