Twinkle's blog !!!

Ornithologists are reporting unprecedented behavioural changes in the avian community across India. They have observed an Indian ringneck parrot sitting quietly on the branch of a frangipani tree till a weary pigeon came along and perched on another branch. Instantly, the parrot got aggressive and started flapping its wings and making frantic squawking noises.

A little bird had informed the parrot that the Border Security Force arrested a spy' pigeon in Bamial for flying over the border from Pakistan with a letter threatening the prime minister.

The Indian ringneck parrot, in order to display its raucous version of patriotism and unable to distinguish between terrorist birds and the peaceful sort, has now decided to attack all birds, except those clearly displaying rings around their necks.

This peculiar behavior does not seem to be limited to members of the avian species but has also rapidly spread among bird-brained members of the human race.

The Pathankot and Uri attacks ensured that India would rightfully retaliate and our armed forces did a splendid job. India aimed to kill two birds with one stone - stop infiltration and send a warning to Pakistan about breeding terror groups on its soil.

The current hostilities led to demands that movies starring Pakistani actors be banned, among other things. The same bird-brained doyens of society who were once cutting Fawad Khan's face out of magazines, and making paper masks to store in their bedside drawer, optimistically hoping that they could convince their husbands to indulge in some role-play after plying them with sufficient quantities of whisky and pakoras, were now sending belligerent WhatsApp forwards to all the members of their building societies, urging them to boycott all movies with Pakistani actors. A thrifty way of displaying patriotism without donating either time or money to improve the lives of Indian soldiers.

(Illustration by: Chad Crowe)

The Cinema Owners and Exhibitors Association, perhaps under pressure from political threats and fearing damage to their theatres, also decided not to screen any movies with Pakistani artists in it, including Karan Johar's forthcoming film with former pin-up boy Fawad Khan.

This seems like an unreasonable decision since the movie was started when India and Pakistan were on such cordial terms that our Prime Minister fulfilled his farz by flying all the way to Lahore just to sing Happy birthday dear Nawaz' in the manner of a suave Jeetendra serenading a blushing Babita.

Can Karan Johar then be held culpable for casting a Pakistani actor in his film?

Should he have gone to a tarot card reader, and along with questions about his self-professed lackluster relationships, also asked the fortuneteller about the future of India's relationship with Pakistan?

Should filmmakers hire psychics before they hire artists and technicians for their films?

But Karan Johar is now compelled to almost apologize for a law-abiding decision he made about the cast of his film. He is being made to showcase his patriotism to the mob of parrots pulling at his collar, baying, Show us the ring around your neck or we will not let you fly.'

And now the MNS has declared that Karan must cough up Rs 5 crore as penance' if he wants the smooth release of his film because extortion is infinitely more legal than hiring an actor from Pakistan.

Yes, a nation is also made up of sentiments and opinions, and at this point, certain groups of people strongly feel that we should not have any dealings with the neighbouring country as it amounts to disrespecting our soldiers. But rather than indulging in hooliganism should they not file a petition in court and wait for a legal verdict. Isn't that what we are meant to do in a democratic country like ours?

Meanwhile, the defence ministry " the same department that issued a statement saying Indian troops were like Hanuman who did not quite know their prowess before the surgical strikes!' " also issued a letter on September 30, a day after the surgical strikes, reducing pensions for disabled soldiers.

Which means that if our new-age Hanumans suffer severe burns to their tails while setting Lanka on fire, the poor chaps would be given double the respect and half the monetary compensation. When this matter came to light, right in the midst of cheering for the Indian army, the flustered defence ministry decided to refer the matter to the anomalies committee' for proper rectification.

Soldiers are injured and killed as they fight selflessly to ensure our country's safety while we enjoy the freedom won by their sacrifice, but rather than screeching about respect, calling their families to televised events where they are at the most handed a hollow metal plaque, should we not do something significant for their future?

Does banning movies help their future? Does it help their children get a better education, give their parents and wives financial security?

Instead of threatening exhibitors with damage to their theaters, shouldn't political parties work towards improving economic conditions for the families of martyred soldiers?

A better tomorrow lies in building stairways that lead you higher, swinging a wrecking ball just ensures that we all lie covered in rubble.

But most of us sit in the dark, night after night, bathed in the flickering vitriol-filled light pouring from our television sets as we watch countless hours of meaningless debates, because we are after all patriots, and respect for martyrs essentially lies in squawking frantically to pay lip service at 260 decibels.

Indians, friends, countrymen and countrywomen, do not build a nation of tyranny using the corpses of our soldiers as a foundation. Remember they sacrificed their lives to protect India, a democratic country of free people with myriad choices.

Perhaps it is time for all us proud Indians to ask ourselves, if this land filled with rabid parrots is the country we grew up in? And is this truly the India we want our children to inherit?