Why The 'My Choice' Video Was Brilliant

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hedwig_fawkes

@hedwig_fawkes

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: atominis

This already happens. And we don't need a video for it.

She can make these choices and after that it's upto others whether to be okay with her or divorce her.

Don't tell me no woman ever made choices which video is talking about. No one ever had affairs or refused to have kids or got abortion without even informing others etc.

Maybe you personally don't need a video for it (which, honestly, looking at your posts I think you do) but I didn't realize that every video ever made had to personally cater to your needs. A lot of people will benefit from watching the video. And no, women don't have the choice everywhere. It is sad because you seem to be a Kat fan and your objection to the video seems to be more about your objection to DP. But Kat is not immune to this either. Why do you think she is so careful about insisting she is single till she gets married? Why was she upset about the Ibiza pics? Because, as she herself says, this society is quick to pass judgement on women and their "character" and she doesn't want to face that censure.

Feminism is so much bigger than BW and it is really sad that you are allowing stupid things like fan wars to cloud your judgement. And by you, I mean a lot of people on this forum, not you specifically.

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 10 years ago

#22

If people dislike the video so be it. I myself have some criticisms of it. The video was far from perfect.

That being said, I am a bit disheartened and disappointed by the backlash against the video.

I feel there were still several positives and the "outside marriage" bungle up shouldn't negate positives completely.

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Sayari

@sayari_sanki99

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: .SaMaira.
Women have the right to "choose" adultery without being called out for it? That's the dumbest thing I've heard today. That's like saying, robber's have the right to "choose" to steal and not get called out for it OR rapists have the right to "choose" to rape without being punished or getting any sort of backlash for it. STUPID CHOICES. Putting such things in a video makes it look like making such choices are OKAY cause you're a women and its your choice. Feminism doesn't mean you should be an entitled bitch. Its about EQUALITY.
I don't get the logic behind putting in such choices in a video just to say #MyChoice. That's as stupid as the YOLO logic. "Hey, I'm gonna jump off a bridge cause YOLO". *rolls-eyes* Yes, they are choices you are free to make but in no way are those choices considered EMPOWERING.

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Women can choose adultery. Women can choose what they want to do. But it can never ever be denied that they have to bear the consequences. They should bear the consequences. Just like men. Robbers can choose to steal, rapists can choose to rape. And they also must bear the punishment for their choices.

Choices can be good or bad, right or wrong, wise or stupid- there is no denying there. Irrespective of what type of choice you make, you have to take up the responsibility for that. "As you sow, so shall you reap". Not all choices are okay.

I am not saying feminism means women can do anything and get away with it. I believe that feminism means that women are equal to men. If men are entitled to their own choices, so are women.

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EllaElla

@EllaElla

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: aamir18
what the video was trying to emphasize, is the importance of a woman's actions to be regarded equivalently to her male counterparts. If she has sex or an affair or decides to pursue her career... she deserves to be regarded exactly like her husband would be in a similar situation.

I think that's exactly what people have been trying to point out...that if it was man saying these things about sex outside of marriage, he would be rightly criticized.

But in this case, the words are being said by a woman in the garb of feminism and we are all expected to cheer these words on when we would not do it if a man was saying the same thing. So I think the criticism is because people are regarding the words spoken by a woman with equivalent disgust.

I'm all for feminism, but two wrongs do not make a right. Pointing towards a man and saying if he gets to have an affair, I do too is not what I would call fighting for gender equality.

I know the sex outside of marriage phrase has been picked on a lot but there were other things in the video that made me say "Why" or "What was the point?" Like the hair flying or unhooking the bra strap. These were tiny things but they took away from the message.

I think if you are going to take on such heated topic, you can't just go in with the right intentions and just hope for the best. You have to be willing to put some thought into matter and figure out exactly what is the message you want to get across and then do it in a manner that makes sense to your intended audience.

And if you are willing to take on such a topic and say these words, you should also be willing to take on the responsibility for the reactions that your video will inspire, whether good or bad. Don't hide and dismiss people's reactions but rather engage in a discussion that helps move the topic forward in the right direction even if your video was not able to do that.

Edited by EllaElla - 10 years ago

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998331

Suspended

Posted: 10 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: hedwig_fawkes

Maybe you personally don't need a video for it (which, honestly, looking at your posts I think you do) but I didn't realize that every video ever made had to personally cater to your needs. A lot of people will benefit from watching the video. And no, women don't have the choice everywhere. It is sad because you seem to be a Kat fan and your objection to the video seems to be more about your objection to DP. But Kat is not immune to this either. Why do you think she is so careful about insisting she is single till she gets married? Why was she upset about the Ibiza pics? Because, as she herself says, this society is quick to pass judgement on women and their "character" and she doesn't want to face that censure.

Feminism is so much bigger than BW and it is really sad that you are allowing stupid things like fan wars to cloud your judgement. And by you, I mean a lot of people on this forum, not you specifically.

I was waiting for reading this.

Nothing against you, Hedwig Fawkes. I was just waiting for this.

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hedwig_fawkes

@hedwig_fawkes

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: NailClipper

I was waiting for reading this.
Nothing against you, Hedwig Fawkes. I was just waiting for this.

I am sorry, I am not a DP fan, anymore than I am a Kat fan, I like them both equally, I think they are both beautiful, smart actresses who have accomplished a lot. But it's impossible to ignore that most discussions in this forum are only about being for and against Kat/DP (and both groups do this, or at least have some members that do this).

I don't have anything else to add on this subject.

Edited by hedwig_fawkes - 10 years ago

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: hedwig_fawkes

I am sorry, but where does it say that women should be allowed to get away with cheating? There is a difference between making a choice and making the right choice. And it's important to acknowledge that women do have the choice to cheat. Their fidelity is always taken for granted. People put bollywood male actors who are faithful to their wives on a pedestal, they are constantly being asked how they resist the urge to cheat. When do women in the industry get asked that? Never, because they are expected to be faithful. Because "men will be men, it is not is their nature to be monogamous" bla bla bla. Women get called s**ts for having bfs and a Ranbir can come on a KWK and brag about his "battery low" exploits and only be treated with indulgence. Then when his gf has the gumption to call him out on it, she gets the hate because geez, what a bitch, how dare she offend his male ego. Forget cheating, Ranveer talks about losing his virginity at 11, RK at 15 etc, and no one bats an eye. Can you imagine how people would react if actresses started talking like this? And you say there is no difference between men and women in DP's strata of society. Nonsense.

As far as I know, these actors are also called names and mocked for their promiscuous lifestyle.

I have seen all these actresses talk about their relationships openly. It was never like men didn't get criticised but women only did. Women easily get to play victims also while a man is always blamed for seduing, cheating, two timing, being insensitive etc. You can see sympathy for Hemas, Rekhas, Zeenats and bashing for men in their lives, though these women were equally wrong in going after married men.

Fidelity taken for granted is a joke in my opinion. It is like clouding own judgement. It's like underestimating the person. And that can be easily used to fool everyone. For eg, one would never doubt a Jaya and assume she was handling home like Sati Savitri whereas they would slam all doubts on men. Taking fidelity for granted is like fooling oneself.
Stereotypes are counter productive. Just because fidelity is taken for granted, woman can fool a man and commit paternity fraud as well. Didn't Tabu's character manage to deceive her husband for years in Astitva?

Those who take fidelity for granted are fools IMO.

Actresses are also asked about relationships. But not much after marriage because they usually quit work and withdraw from public life, therefore, how they resist or are they still in touch with old flame etc are not asked to them.

Every coin has two sides. You're talking as if only women get judged and men get a free pass.

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Sayari

@sayari_sanki99

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: silversurfer
She made choices in the video but dint tell about the consequences

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I agree with you here. I loved this video and the message it was trying to convey, but at the same time, I feel it should have been more detailed. This video has its flaws, agreed. But I think the lesson I learnt from the video is relevant and to the point.

Edited by sayari.majumder - 10 years ago

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fivestars

@fivestars

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#29

seeing unlimited essays on "MY CHOICE" video ,I have a doubt ...is DP's PR on this forum ??😕

I haven't seen any other star fans writing these lengthy essays on their beloved stars...

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998331

Suspended

Posted: 10 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: hedwig_fawkes
I am sorry, I am not a DP fan, anymore than I am a Kat fan, I like them both equally, I think they are both beautiful, smart actresses who have accomplished a lot. But it's impossible to ignore that most discussions in this forum are only about being for and against Kat/DP (and both groups do this, or at least have some members that do this).
I don't have anything else to add on this subject.

As I said before, nothing against you. I just knew someone would say that, and unfortunately it was you. I know your views are mostly neutral. And I like you for that.

There was no ill will. I apologize, if that quote of mine offended you.

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Why The 'My Choice' Video Was Brilliant - Page 3

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