Why The 'My Choice' Video Was Brilliant - Page 12

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aamir18 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Perhaps that is true.

And maybe I am biased.

I was sexually assaulted in India last summer, and am still bitter by the horrendous treatment I received after the incident occurred. I currently live in New York City, and I feel safer on the streets here at one in the morning than I do early in the evening in India. Mind you, I get an occasional glimpse into Delhi... where this issue is perhaps the most prevalent and serious. I get stared down everywhere I go, groped in the bus and followed on my way to work. My twelve year old sister visited with me last year, and she was touched inappropriately while we waited in line to enter a Gurdwara.

I'm not the country's enemy. I just want the best for the people who live there -- men and women alike.

If positive change can be made, then it should be.

Originally posted by: cineraria


Oh, sorry, I misunderstood your statement then. My bad. But again who is responsible for this image? I reckon it's the media largely.

I don't deny the problems, the sexism, the misogyny in India. But I strongly feel that it's not as bad as it's being painted to the world. We have an asinine media. Have you read or seen Gone Girl? Being a fiction, many things in it are rather unbelievable, but one thing is spot on. How the media works.

I have grown to realize this, you do not take what's being propagated in the media on the face value or consider it to be the truth. Those who do, I pray, they realize the folly of their rationale before it's too late.

But it isn't as bad, Indian boys continue to pursue education abroad. Every year about 40-50 students from my college alone (which has a total strength of 600 in a batch) clear GRE and study in foreign universities.

Do remember that video which went viral, 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman. A similar one was made in India, 10 hours of walking in Mumbai as a woman. It still surprises me, there wasn't even a single remark or lewd expression thrown her way.

While again no denying, that there are a lot of crimes against women happening every day, every hour perhaps, the picture painted to put on the global display is worse than the reality.

Edited by aamir18 - 10 years ago
cineraria thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: aamir18

Perhaps that is true.

And maybe I am biased.

I was sexually assaulted in India last summer, and am still bitter by the horrendous treatment I received after the incident occurred. I currently live in New York City, and I feel safer on the streets here at one in the morning than I do early in the evening in India. Mind you, I get an occasional glimpse into Delhi... where this issue is perhaps the most prevalent and serious.

I'm not the country's enemy. I just want the best for the people who live there -- men and women alike.

If positive change can be made, then it should be.



Oh no, that's really, really unfortunate. I pray, I do, with all my heart that those dirtbags rot in hell. I agree personal experience plays the greatest role in how we perceive something. Almost my entire family lives in Delhi, but I have never had to be alone there. Whether in malls or the street markets of Lajpat Nagar, I have been with my cousins and have roamed the streets for hours, all my days in the holiday months spent with extended family.

While I deeply regret, that you were targeted by those scums, I'd urge you, not to regard a country of over a billion people in the same light.

For example, the city where I live. My college is 2 km from my house, I can't drive, my dad tried to teach me, but I was a hopeless case. I have been walking to my college and back since past 3 years, and I can recall 4-5 cases when a guy across the road cried "I love you" or those riding a bike sang songs. In fact once after attending a workshop I returned home very late. There was a power cut and pitch dark on the road, I walked in the torchlight of my phone. My mom was furious though that I shouldn't have taken such a risk, but I was fine.
870349 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
It was too aggressive for my taste. Too much attitude was shown . Deepika was being too uppity .
aamir18 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Trust me, despite whatever nonsense is written about my generalizing, I honestly don't.

I have a father, grandfathers, brothers and cousins who are Indian men. I know that they aren't douche bag rapists just because some people are.

But I've seen first hand what women experience in these cities and the consequences of the sexism that is deeply engrained in so many minds. I'm glad you haven't faced the brunt of it, and I sincerely hope you never do. Sexism is the root of all these problems, faced by women and men alike. It needs to be tackled effectively.

I want to see positive change, and I do my bit to bring it there. I spend three months of my year trying to educate our youth. Knowledge is the ultimate power and it's the only way we can do something worthwhile.

It was nice talking to you. Take care.

Originally posted by: cineraria


Oh no, that's really, really unfortunate. I pray, I do, with all my heart that those dirtbags rot in hell. I agree personal experience plays the greatest role in how we perceive something. Almost my entire family lives in Delhi, but I have never had to be alone there. Whether in malls or the street markets of Lajpat Nagar, I have been with my cousins and have roamed the streets for hours, all my days in the holiday months spent with extended family.

While I deeply regret, that you were targeted by those scums, I'd urge you, not to regard a country of over a billion people in the same light.

For example, the city where I live. My college is 2 km from my house, I can't drive, my dad tried to teach me, but I was a hopeless case. I have been walking to my college and back since past 3 years, and I can recall 4-5 cases when a guy across the road cried "I love you" or those riding a bike sang songs. In fact once after attending a workshop I returned home very late. There was a power cut and pitch dark on the road, I walked in the torchlight of my phone. My mom was furious though that I shouldn't have taken such a risk, but I was fine.

Edited by aamir18 - 10 years ago
dhakarn thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
I just hope people stop generalising INDIA based on negative news ... if u want to generalise do it with these positive news makers
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26260978

The Indian sanitary pad revolutionary

By Vibeke VenemaBBC World Service
Muruganantham stands next to his invention in a still from the documentary Menstrual Man

A school dropout from a poor family in southern India has revolutionised menstrual health for rural women in developing countries by inventing a simple machine they can use to make cheap sanitary pads.

Arunachalam Muruganantham's invention came at great personal cost - he nearly lost his family, his money and his place in society. But he kept his sense of humour.

"It all started with my wife," he says. In 1998 he was newly married and his world revolved around his wife, Shanthi, and his widowed mother. One day he saw Shanthi was hiding something from him. He was shocked to discover what it was - rags, "nasty cloths" which she used during menstruation.

"I will be honest," says Muruganantham. "I would not even use it to clean my scooter." When he asked her why she didn't use sanitary pads, she pointed out that if she bought them for the women in the family, she wouldn't be able to afford to buy milk or run the household.

Wanting to impress his young wife, Muruganantham went into town to buy her a sanitary pad. It was handed to him hurriedly, as if it were contraband. He weighed it in his hand and wondered why 10g (less than 0.5oz) of cotton, which at the time cost 10 paise (0.001), should sell for 4 rupees (0.04) - 40 times the price. He decided he could make them cheaper himself.

He fashioned a sanitary pad out of cotton and gave it to Shanthi, demanding immediate feedback. She said he'd have to wait for some time - only then did he realise that periods were monthly. "I can't wait a month for each feedback, it'll take two decades!" He needed more volunteers.

Find out more

  • Muruganantham spoke to the BBC World Serviceprogramme Outlook
  • Outlook airs Mon-Thurs
  • Tells personal stories from around the world

Listen to the interview

Subscribe to Outlook podcast

When Muruganantham looked into it further, he discovered that hardly any women in the surrounding villages used sanitary pads - fewer than one in 10. His findings were echoed by a 2011 survey by AC Nielsen, commissioned by the Indian government, which found that only 12% of women across India use sanitary pads.

Muruganantham says that in rural areas, the take-up is far less than that. He was shocked to learn that women don't just use old rags, but other unhygienic substances such as sand, sawdust, leaves and even ash.

Women who do use cloths are often too embarrassed to dry them in the sun, which means they don't get disinfected. Approximately 70% of all reproductive diseases in India are caused by poor menstrual hygiene - it can also affect maternal mortality.

Muruganantham trains a group of womenThe documentary Menstrual Man follows Muruganantham as he installs his machines across India

Finding volunteers to test his products was no mean feat. His sisters refused, so he had the idea of approaching female students at his local medical college. "But how can a workshop worker approach a medical college girl?" Muruganantham says. "Not even college boys can go near these girls!"

He managed to convince 20 students to try out his pads - but it still didn't quite work out. On the day he came to collect their feedback sheets he caught three of the girls industriously filling them all in. These results obviously could not be relied on. It was then that he decided to test the products on himself. "I became the man who wore a sanitary pad," he says.

He created a "uterus" from a football bladder by punching a couple of holes in it, and filling it with goat's blood. A former classmate, a butcher, would ring his bicycle bell outside the house whenever he was going to kill a goat. Muruganantham would collect the blood and mix in an additive he got from another friend at a blood bank to prevent it clotting too quickly - but it didn't stop the smell.

He walked, cycled and ran with the football bladder under his traditional clothes, constantly pumping blood out to test his sanitary pad's absorption rates. Everyone thought he'd gone mad.

My wife gone, my mum gone, ostracised by my village - I was left all alone in lifeArunachalam Muruganantham

He used to wash his bloodied clothes at a public well and the whole village concluded he had a sexual disease. Friends crossed the road to avoid him. "I had become a pervert," he says. At the same time, his wife got fed up - and left. "So you see God's sense of humour," he says in the documentary Menstrual Man by Amit Virmani. "I'd started the research for my wife and after 18 months she left me!"

Then he had another brainwave - he would study used sanitary pads: surely this would reveal everything. This idea posed an even greater risk in such a superstitious community. "Even if I ask for a hair from a lady, she would suspect I am doing some black magic on her to mesmerise her," he says.

He supplied his group of medical students with sanitary pads and collected them afterwards. He laid his haul out in the back yard to study, only for his mother to stumble across the grisly scene one afternoon. It was the final straw. She cried, put her sari on the ground, put her belongings into it, and left. "It was a problem for me," he says. "I had to cook my own food."

Worse was to come. The villagers became convinced he was possessed by evil spirits, and were about to chain him upside down to a tree to be "healed" by the local soothsayer. He only narrowly avoided this treatment by agreeing to leave the village. It was a terrible price to pay. "My wife gone, my mum gone, ostracised by my village" he says. "I was left all alone in life."

Still, he carried on. The biggest mystery was what successful sanitary pads were made of. He had sent some off for laboratory analysis and reports came back that it was cotton, but his own cotton creations did not work. It was something he could only ask the multinational companies who produced sanitary products - but how? "It's like knocking on the door of Coke and saying, 'Can I ask you how your cola is manufactured?'"

Muruganantham wrote to the big manufacturing companies with the help of a college professor, whom he repaid by doing domestic work - he didn't speak much English at the time. He also spent almost 7,000 rupees (70) on telephone calls - money he didn't have. "When I got through, they asked me what kind of plant I had," he says. "I didn't really understand what they meant."

In the end, he said he was a textile mill owner in Coimbatore who was thinking of moving into the business, and requested some samples. A few weeks later, mysterious hard boards appeared in the mail - cellulose, from the bark of a tree. It had taken two years and three months to discover what sanitary pads are made of, but there was a snag - the machine required to break this material down and turn it into pads cost many thousands of dollars. He would have to design his own.

Muruganantham installs a machineThe simple machine looks like the Wright brothers' first flight - all the workings are on the outside

Four-and-a-half years later, he succeeded in creating a low-cost method for the production of sanitary towels. The process involves four simple steps. First, a machine similar to a kitchen grinder breaks down the hard cellulose into fluffy material, which is packed into rectangular cakes with another machine.

The cakes are then wrapped in non-woven cloth and disinfected in an ultraviolet treatment unit. The whole process can be learned in an hour.

Muruganantham's goal was to create user-friendly technology. The mission was not just to increase the use of sanitary pads, but also to create jobs for rural women - women like his mother. Following her husband's death in a road accident, Muruganantham's mother had had to sell everything she owned and get a job as a farm labourer, but earning $1 a day wasn't enough to support four children. That's why, at the age of 14, Muruganantham had left school to find work.

The machines are kept deliberately simple and skeletal so that they can be maintained by the women themselves. "It looks like the Wright brothers' first flight," he says. The first model was mostly made of wood, and when he showed it to the Indian Institute of Technology, IIT, in Madras, scientists were sceptical - how was this man going to compete against multinationals?

But Muruganantham had confidence. As the son of a handloom worker, he had seen his father survive with a simple wooden handloom, despite 446 fully mechanised mills in the city. That gave him the courage to take on the big companies with his small machine made of wood - besides, his aim was not really to compete. "We are creating a new market, we are paving the way for them," he says.

I've accumulated no money but I accumulate a lot of happinessArunachalam Muruganantham, Inventor and social entrepreneur

Unbeknown to him, the IIT entered his machine in a competition for a national innovation award. Out of 943 entries, it came first. He was given the award by the then President of India, Pratibha Patil - quite an achievement for a school dropout. Suddenly he was in the limelight.

"It was instant glory, media flashing in my face, everything" he says. "The irony is, after five-and-a-half years I get a call on my mobile - the voice huskily says: Remember me?"

It was his wife, Shanthi. She was not entirely surprised by her husband's success. "Every time he comes to know something new, he wants to know everything about it," she says. "And then he wants to do something about it that nobody else has done before."

...

This man was selected as the 3rd most influential indian last year... n he is very much INDIAN

Edited by dhakarn - 10 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
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Hindustan Times

642126 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
@aamir18

I understand how it must have affected you. But then again, we cannot generalise.

I have seen boys chase rickshaws on which girls are riding, pass lewd comments or jeer. Or guys who touch inappropriately. But I have also seen males who are helpful, respectful and take care to remain away and not violate your space. I have seen a bunch of girls "adam teasing" random boys on streets on Valentine's Day, catcalling, throwing heart shaped balloons at strangers and seen how everyone was embarrassed by their action. But while people tried to show discomfort and disapproval, they did not react the way they would have, to a bunch of boys who behaved like this.
I have seen how our maid's daughter robbed her own house, took away money which was meant for her ailing mother and eloped with her lover. She didn't attend her mother's funeral but shamelessly returned to the house with her lover to live there (boy had apparently run away from his family too). Imagine, a widow educating her daughter and hoping she would take care of her, only to get cheated and robbed by daughter. Now she and her lover still live there but no one took action against them, they just boycotted them.

I have been able to travel alone even by night and thankfully remained safe.

I have women in my circle whose job demands them to travel every week to different cities. They travel alone and have been able to go about safely.

I used to fear everyone, including women also. But only now I realised it is not right to be this conscious.

There are many sides to situations. There is certain fear in both men and women these days.

We need better initiatives to sensitise people.

An extreme video like #MyChoice only creates further divide no matter men spoke such words or women.

You know why Deepika Bharadwaj reacted against that video? Because she is related to someone who was victim of fake case and has worked with families of men who committed suicide after fake cases and all the ignominy they suffered.

Right now, we need respect and balanced approach towards gender issues in India, because it's like walking on a tight rope.

Media's extreme stance doesn't help. In my opinion they are creating tension between religions and sexes with their provocative style of reporting.

I feel this video was similar to such media and seeing its negative impact on discourse around women's issues in India, I hate it more.

We don't need division. But cohesion to cooperate on fighting issues that affect us.

Finally India is a country in transition. It's still young as a democracy. It's still struggling with clash of past and modernity. Therefore change and initiatives on change have to be gradual, phased. Videos like #MyChoice are too abrupt and radical. If you hear PM speaking on girls, he uses words like he is begging to people to stop female foeticide, he uses words with care, calling girls equally good if given the opportunity, asking if people ask boys what they've been up to etc. He doesn't use extreme words, blends with emotion and reason.
That's why he is heard and able to send a message across.

Gender issues venture into personal realm. Therefore measured words are the best way to approach them. That's all.
642126 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: cineraria



<font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">Thank you for the support.</font>

<font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">@bold: I agree. Totally. The media here loves sensationalising stuff and is definitely biased and not just on women related issues.</font>

<font face="Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3">How the PM is answerable for a cricket ball thrown by kids breaking a church's window, but a bomb blast at Bellur Math does not even feature in the news, worse they go on to say that it must have been a fire cracker! Wow, what fire cracker has shrapnel shells?</font>



Temples looted, valuables and statues stolen - no news.
Even a cricket ball breaking window of a Church - ATTACK on minorities! Debate on how minorities feel threatened in India.
Cases of men committing suicide, harassed by girl's family, sodomised, assaulted or male rape - no outrage.
Case of woman being raped - outrage, no woman is safe (they don't bother much about Dalit and village women either)

They focused on nun's rape but ignored rape of a sadhvi. And they trash Indians but go mum if illegal migrants from Bangladesh are found guilty in rape cases.

Ministers' comments on women invite outrage. But no outrage on TV, if Nandita or Javed Akhtar say every man is a potential rapist, Renuka Chaudhary says condoms are more trustworthy than men and Anandiben Patel uses words like "rejected maal".

The bias is causing excessive divide and unwarranted tension between communities. And some sections of Western media have field day reporting news selectively.

I am not for banning or ignoring reality. But I do demand fair reporting of all facts and incidents unlike selective and manufactured outrage that some channels indulge in.
And I don't buy these "India" image statements. I don't see how India's image is linked to topic of Vogue video. And I think those who judge India based on isolated cases are being too hasty to form an opinion on such a large and diverse country.
Edited by atominis - 10 years ago
sayari_sanki99 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Finally someone who has some strong points and reasoning! I really appreciate your comment.


Originally posted by: cineraria

But I "choose" to accept your interpretation of it, which sounds quite nice actually, how I wish I didn't have to disagree with it, sadly I do, with a few things at least. I am certainly not here for an argument but a healthy discussion and hope I'd be afforded that.

What I don't understand is why people are fighting so hard to prove that the video is right or the video is wrong (many people but not all). Shouldn't we concentrate on the message it is trying to portray? It's not about the video being right or wrong; it's about how we are perceiving and acting upon the message it is trying to project.


Originally posted by: cineraria

IPC section 497, states that a man indulging in adultery may be imprisoned for 5 years and has to pay a hefty fine to the woman and family he cheated on. If the wife applies for it, she's granted divorce with much ease.

But there is no provision of any sort of how to deal with an adulterous woman. Wasn't her husband cheated? It specifically mentions, no action would be taken against an adulterous wife whatsoever.


There is also IPC section 498a , harassment over dowry and domestic abuse. If a woman files a complaint, her husband and his entire family (including children of age 2) would be sent behind bars immediately up to 3 years and cannot apply for bail. Because of the growing number of cases of women falsely accusing their husbands and family for personal vendetta, only in 2014 they introduced a nominal reform, they'd still be jailed, but only after a magistrate's order.

We assume though that men are never victims of domestic abuse, therefore there is no law for their protection. You'd be shocked to know the number of suicides in urban Indian males ascribed to domestic abuse. Imagine the level of despondency, they had no where to go. People laughed at them.


Why am I giving these examples, because yes, our law doesn't treat men and women equally.


I came to know about section 498a a few weeks ago. Honestly, I was completely shocked after learning about the initial IPC section 498a. We have to keep this in mind that nobody is a saint. Neither men nor women. Both are equally open to make mistakes and commit sins. We cannot blindly trust men or women. Law definitely shouldn't. Isn't law equal for everyone? Then why is partiality seen in the laws? If there are laws against adulterous men, there should be the same about adulterous women!


Remember the CBI director, Ranjit Sinha's statement about rape? I am quoting him: "If you can't prevent rape, enjoy it". Seriously? And what about that Samajwadi Party chief, Mulayam Singh Yadav's statement about rapists? "Boys are boys, they make mistakes" (Ladke hai, galti ho jaati hai). I don't know what to say about these people. It's just way beyond my understanding!


I have heard so many people talking about these rape cases. They keep blaming the girl about provoking the rapists by wearing certain types of clothes and all. Some from my family, relatives as well unfortunately. There are people like them in the world, in India; and a lot of them in this matter.


Originally posted by: cineraria

Let's talk about the societal stigmas. I have your baby or not, my choice. Sure ma'am, your choice but make this clear before marriage. She may not want to be a mother but the guy could cherish a dream of fatherhood. Not a good thing to deprive anyone of their right. Because once married he too should have a little bit of say in this issue.


Yes. Both the wife and husband should have equal say in this matter. It's a decision both have to take together. They are life partners. This decision cannot be taken by only one person in a relationship. By bringing a baby into the world, they both accept a big responsibility. There is no place of hesitation here; there should not be. If there is unsurety, they better refrain from taking a baby. I don't know what context this statement was mentioned in the video as the video did not expand on the statements.


Originally posted by: cineraria

A woman can have a child, she has an option to quit her job and look after her kid, she wouldn't be labeled an incompetent employee for her choice. She also has an option to not quit and further her career, yes we do have that choice, if we didn't there wouldn't have been so many mothers who are CEOs in India itself. But what if a man wanted to quit his job to look after his child? He's labeled incompetent, people say, biwi ki kamai ki roti todta hai ghar baitha (breaks bread from his wife's income). Ever heard of a househusband?


The mentality that househusbands are not "real men" comes into play here. It is a wide perception that men are supposed to go out and earn money. Taking care of the household is not the job of a "mard". It is only suitable to women. They are the only ones for this kind of job- that kind of mentality. Sometimes many families also force women or expect them to quit their job for taking care of the family. Whereas there are also families who openly support working moms.


Originally posted by: cineraria

When a national newspaper has an article on Shahrukh Khan's 8 pack, with his shirtless pictures strewn all over the page, does he whine in social media saying they sexualized him, objectified him? But when it has an article over a peek-a-boo at Ms. Padukone's cleavage, she does. And what do we say? She's a woman, the newspaper should keep decency.


I am sorry but I got a bit confused here. Deepika's cleavage controversy is different from the example of Shahrukh Khan you used. It was an unintentional and unwanted moment for Deepika. What's the point of making such a big deal out of it? I think Deepika has explained her stance on it quite clearly and I completely agree with her. And it's not only Deepika; there are other actresses as well who have been through similar situations. Pictures of Shahrukh's 8 packs were not clicked unknown to him or having arrows, circles pointing. So, if there is an article about his abs, I don't think it would be that much offensive to him. Normally, pictures of malfunction of actresses are presented disgustingly. Arrows, circles are used in the photos. Did we ever have those kind of pictures for male actors? I don't remember. I don't know if I understood your point well enough here. If you want, you can surely elaborate about your stand:)


Originally posted by: cineraria

If the video had a magnanimous motive, it clearly fails to deliver that. A major chunk of viewership is made to feel that it endorses adultery. Blaming the inability to understand the video on the viewers, is like that director whose movie was trashed by critics and public alike saying, I made a brilliant movie, people failed to understand it. No sir, it's the director's job to make people understand his work, if your video fails to deliver on that aspect, how is it brilliant? It's a poorly made video.


I agree that the video should have come across more clearly and give out the message loud and clear. Different people, different viewpoints. How I perceive the video is might be different from what you think the video is about. I personally did not feel that the video is endorsing adultery. I thought it was only saying that it is her "choice". And not only adultery, the video also mentioned sex before marriage and not having sex at all. But again, it's what I thought. About blaming the viewers, I personally don't blame the viewers or the director. Maybe the intentions of the director was noble but he couldn't pull off the video well.


Originally posted by: cineraria

That with every right there comes a responsibility. Similarly, with empowerment there comes righteousness. Without righteousness there's no empowerment. And as you pointed out, this video is not about righteous behavior then WHY call it Vogue Empower? Why not, Vogue- you have a choice instead?


I agree that if you want rights and freedom, you have to treasure them and accept the responsibilities that come with them. Rights and responsibilities are complementary. And the video is titled "My Choice"also, no? I think what it was trying to say that women have the right and freedom to make their own choices. They are able to make their own choices and they should make their own choices. Isn't that what empowerment is? Having equal freedom as men? Getting equal treatment as men? Please correct me if I am wrong.


Originally posted by: cineraria

PS: Sorry for the long essay.


It was a pleasure reading your comment. Don't be sorry for the size. It's really good. And the size is worth it:)
.
h
Edited by sayari.majumder - 10 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
Wow. What a discussion going on. Didn't really read everything. Just scanned.

I think Rani said it best: Too many negative things are being highlighted lately, that the positive side of India tends to get 'masked away.' There are a lot of good things as well happening in the country, but unfortunately the negative stuff is taking over the positives.

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