'Raavan fascinates us more than Ram' -Manoj Bajpai

I'm sitting in Manoj Bajpayee's plush drawing room and sipping ginger tea. He's noticed my cold and has told his help to add extra ginger. He's also noticed my girth and tells me to go easy on the sugar. Manoj looks as fit as an athlete and I tell him so. He says he runs 45 minutes to an hour each day on the treadmill. Respectful silence ensues as I digest this. He says he has to keep fit to survive. "An actor's body ensures his bread and butter. So you run. I hope I can keep running forever." I remind him of his running after the wolf sequence in Aks and he perks up. "Only Rakeysh Mehra could have imagined me like that. I worked hard on my muscle tone as I was running bare bodied through some Hungarian forest. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me." He rues the fact that Aks went over people's heads and wasn't appreciated at the time. "Aks was way ahead of its times. It would have been a 100-crore film if it had been released today. In fact, we keep asking Rakeysh to re-release it since it has a cult status now."The film also gave him a chance to bond with his idol Amitabh Bachchan, a bond that has grown with time. It thrills him to tell me about Mr Bachchan's congratulatory message after he watched Gangs Of Wasseypur. "Bachchan saab told me that he couldn't find a single flaw in my performance. It gave me goose bumps when I read that. I've idolised him all my life and hence his message gave me a tremendous high. In fact, I'm high even now. I've yet to get over it."There is a childlike innocence on his face as he says all this. He's still in awe of his idol after all these years. The attraction hasn't faded even after sharing multiple screen credits. Manoj just smiles, "One can't tire of Bachchan saab. He would have retired long ago if that was the case.

But he keeps reinventing himself because the public still hungers for him. Like everyone else, I also believe that I'm his biggest fan. A fan who has been privileged enough to work with him."Anurag Kashyap gave Manoj a chance to showcase his body and be an alternate sex symbol in Wasseypur. He guffaws at the observation. "I've not gone bare-bodied after Aks. And I was wearing trousers then and here I was down to my underwear. I kept asking Anurag about the need for that scene and he said it was needed to establish the attraction between Sardar Khan and his paramour." He says Sardar Khan is the most sexual character he's ever played. "There is a certain bestiality in the man and I worked hard to bring that out. I had to let go of my inhibitions and expose my primal core. Because primarily, we're all animals. We cloak ourselves with culture, with morals but there are some who don't subscribe to such norms and Sardar Khan was one such individual. His lust as well as his anger was out in the open." Manoj remarks that oneof the most difficult scenes in the film was when he had to catch hold of Reema Sen's hand in the courtyard. "Like a leopard, Sardar marks his prey and makes his move. He's sure that Reema's character is his for the taking that she won't raise a hue and cry. It tells you that he's just not blinded by his lust. That he's calculating even at such times. It marks him out as a dangerous man. You know you shouldn't trust him."

Manoj is astonished that so many have become fans of what he calls the most overtly negative character of his life. "One would think the audience would be repulsed by Sardar Khan but people were actually rooting for him. He kills people at will, was a philanderer and an untrustworthy person and yet the masses felt sad when he died without exacting his revenge." The actor thinks this speaks volumes about how much we are fascinated by negativity. "Raavan fascinates us more than Ram. We are more drawn towards complex characters than simple ones. Normal is boring. Also, Sardar Khan lives by his own rules and does as he pleases. Each of us would like to do that. It's like being fascinated by the tabloid life of the stars. The masses go for the glamour. They like to live the high life vicariously."He's shared a couple of intimate scenes with his heroines Richa Chadda and Reema Sen and thanks them for taking care of his shy nature. "I'm shy as hell doing intimate scenes but have always found heroines who understand that and help me bring out my best even in such scenes. It's hard to fake intimacy as there is a whole unit present and they help me break it down like any other scene and navigate from point A to point B. Also, I've made it a rule to make them feel as comfortable as possible because such scenes look genuine only when your co-star is comfortable. Reema has become a friend. She and her husband own a fancy Italian joint in Delhi and she's promised to educate me in the intricacies of pasta next time I'm in the capital."How does his wife Neha react when she sees him getting intimate on screen? "She knows me inside out and hence can make out my discomfort level and teases me no end. She's an actor herself and understands what's fake and what's real. She trusts me implicitly and knows I'll never cross the line." Neha's career has taken a backseat for now but Manoj assures me that he'll support her whenever she wants to make a comeback. "She's free to make her own choices. She considers our two-year-old daughter, Ava Nayla to be her top priority right now. She hasn't forgotten the actor in her and will make her move at the right time."Being a husband and a father hasn't mellowed Manoj's hunger. He was hungry for quality roles earlier but now the priority is to make money to secure a future for his daughter. "I've proved myself time and again as an actor. I don't need to prove my credentials to anybody. I've also proved that my films can earn profit. So I'm sure more people would be willing to gamble on me." He says he'll never work for peanuts now. "I've done so many films in the past for the sake of friendship or because I liked the role. Now I can no longer afford to do so and hence have learnt to say no."I sense an angst lingering in him. It seems that his anger hasn't all left him. Is he still insecure that other people get good roles because of their good looks alone? "Definitely. My insecurities are a big part of me and will never completely go away. With time, I have learnt to accept certain things. Like some actors will always be in demand for their charisma. The industry values it more than talent. I'm still angry but have learned to accept my anger. Yes, life is unfair but you accept that and move on." He doesn't have a grouse about the star system which he deems necessary for the film industry. "The stars bring in the money. They are important that way. It's futile to fight that because everyone is here to make money. The good thing is that stars too are gravitating towards better cinema. I'm happy that a Ranbir Kapoor does a Barfi!. Such decisions make the common man more interested towards non-commercial cinema and increases the audience base for those of us who have always been interested in telling good stories."

One thing that has helped him relate to his angst is friendship with filmmaker Debabrata Pain, who made Chittagong. Manoj played Masterda's character in the period film which was critically appreciated but wasn't a commercial success. "Debabrata gave a lot to his film. He even lost his son in the US due to a freak mishap but didn't let the tragedy daunt him. He learnt to move on and believe me that takes courage. I'm humbled by his struggle. My struggle is nothing compared to his. His enthusiasm is infectious and working with him has given me a new sense of peace and serenity."Filmmakers like Prakash Jha and Anurag Kashyap are increasingly drawn towards commercial actors. Isn't that a betrayal in a sense for loyalists like Manoj who have always supported their cinema? For instance, a bigger role went to Arjun Rampal in Prakash Jha's Chakravyuh. Does Manoj feel sidelined because of such developments? Manoj smiles and says he doesn't think so. "You have to ask Prakashji about his choice of actors. My role in Chakravyuh was more difficult. I've played an inspector before but it took time to inculcate Naxal beliefs and learn a new language as well. I was praised for my portrayal and that's what matters." Manoj supports the Naxals in their struggle but doesn't believe in their method. "I understand that desperation makes you take up arms but you can't fight the system that way because the government is simply too big to fight that way. A more subtle method is that of satyagraha. It takes time but will definitely save lives. The government won't retaliate with brutal means because there won't be any justification for it."Looks like he's marketing Prakash Jha's Satyagraha. Manoj laughs and says he's advocating a point of view. "Anna Hazare has made people sit up and take notice of certain aspects which we were taking for granted. Graft has become a way of life but should it be so? Change doesn't come overnight but he has at least helped start a process of self-introspection. Politicians will hesitate to take us for a ride in the future because we'll hopefully ask for accountability. They have forgotten that they are elected public servants. The public needs to realise that they can rid themselves of bad governance if need be. Gandhiji got rid of a foreign power that way –our politicians shouldn't forget that." It seems he's all set to join politics. He guffaws and says he's learnt from Prakash Jha's mistakes. "Prakashji tried and failed. He believes I can't succeed and has advised me to stay away. I'm too straightforward by nature. I couldn't handle the politics of the film industry. So I'm ill suited for the real political arena."He took his family to London last year but this year wants to connect with his roots and visit his native village in Bihar. "I've not gone there since ages and it's important for me that Neha and more importantly Ava should know where I come from.I feel constricted in this concrete jungle and would like to roam freely in open surroundings for a while, eat simple food and interact with simple people. To get away from it all and then begin anew."