best way to defend your star - Page 4

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

This is a fine art that cannot be captured by polls. Defending celebrities is highly sophisticated activity. In fact it is an art very few can hope to master. I'm a crazy rabid fan who has fine tuned this art to perfection. So all celebrity defenders please read, learn and follow.

Step One: Cease to have a life

You need to quit your job/school, and whatever it is that you do and dedicate your life to your celebrity. You will need to watch the forums and stalk bashers like a hawk. You can't let one toe out of line slip by unnoticed. Being a good fan is more intense than joining the marine core.

Step Two: Become an armchair statistician

You have to have more Bollywood box office collections data, statistics and numbers than the Library of Congress, The Congressional archives and the Smithsonian combined. If you don't that is not a problem. You have to be able to pull numbers out your ass frequently and convincingly. It is a skill you will master in no time.

Step Three: Have faith and Leap (Inductive Leap)

In logic an inductive leap is a fallacy when one leaps to a conclusion even when the data to support is insufficient. What f**king bullshit and big words. Logic was invented by faggot bashers. All you have to do is have faith in your star and draw your own conclusions. For example if a movie crosses 100crore it most definitely means it stars the greatest actor on earth. Repeat the following prayer to master this step.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Salmon is the tastiest fish

That's all I know is true

Step 4: Pass the Blame

Celebrities are Gods, that means they are inherently infallible and flawless. Any mistakes made by celebrities are just conspiracies by bashers to cause trouble. For example ' it is not true that Lindsay Lohan drives drunk and flashes her panties. Firstly how can you be sure it was Lindsay behind the wheel? Secondly any woman can flash her panties. That does not mean Lindsay did. All this is just a reason for Lindsay haters to bash her and make trouble.

Step 5: Bash Another Celebrity

When all else fails pick another celebrity to bash and divert the blame. For example ' If people are bashing Lindsay open a thread discussing Demi Lovato's rehab while conveniently ignoring the fact that she actually checked herself in because she was depressed over a friend's death. She's in rehab, that must mean she's a crack snorting wh**e.

Step 6: The world is unfair

At this point, a thread got locked and you probably got warned or even banned for calling Demi Lovato a crack snorting wh**e but the person who posted the LA times article about Lindsay Lohan's panty flash at her DUI court appearance is still prowling around. Fear not. The world is unfair. God's children are always persecuted. Clearly everyone is biased against you. But come judgment day, they will all be punished in hellfire.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

This is a fine art that cannot be captured by polls. Defending celebrities is highly sophisticated activity. In fact it is an art very few can hope to master. I'm a crazy rabid fan who has fine tuned this art to perfection. So all celebrity defenders please read, learn and follow.

Step One: Cease to have a life

You need to quit your job/school, and whatever it is that you do and dedicate your life to your celebrity. You will need to watch the forums and stalk bashers like a hawk. You can't let one toe out of line slip by unnoticed. Being a good fan is more intense than joining the marine core.

Step Two: Become an armchair statistician

You have to have more Bollywood box office collections data, statistics and numbers than the Library of Congress, The Congressional archives and the Smithsonian combined. If you don't that is not a problem. You have to be able to pull numbers out your ass frequently and convincingly. It is a skill you will master in no time.

Step Three: Have faith and Leap (Inductive Leap)

In logic an inductive leap is a fallacy when one leaps to a conclusion even when the data to support is insufficient. What f**king bullshit and big words. Logic was invented by faggot bashers. All you have to do is have faith in your star and draw your own conclusions. For example if a movie crosses 100crore it most definitely means it stars the greatest actor on earth. Repeat the following prayer to master this step.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Salmon is the tastiest fish

That's all I know is true

Step 4: Pass the Blame

Celebrities are Gods, that means they are inherently infallible and flawless. Any mistakes made by celebrities are just conspiracies by bashers to cause trouble. For example ' it is not true that Lindsay Lohan drives drunk and flashes her panties. Firstly how can you be sure it was Lindsay behind the wheel? Secondly any woman can flash her panties. That does not mean Lindsay did. All this is just a reason for Lindsay haters to bash her and make trouble.

Step 5: Bash Another Celebrity

When all else fails pick another celebrity to bash and divert the blame. For example ' If people are bashing Lindsay open a thread discussing Demi Lovato's rehab while conveniently ignoring the fact that she actually checked herself in because she was depressed over a friend's death. She's in rehab, that must mean she's a crack snorting wh**e.

Step 6: The world is unfair

At this point, a thread got locked and you probably got warned or even banned for calling Demi Lovato a crack snorting wh**e but the person who posted the LA times article about Lindsay Lohan's panty flash at her DUI court appearance is still prowling around. Fear not. The world is unfair. God's children are always persecuted. Clearly everyone is biased against you. But come judgment day, they will all be punished in hellfire.