Gauri and the King
By: Lata Khubchandani
February 11, 2007
The reticent Gauri was more forthcoming those days. She said, "He loves to exaggerate, to make a big thing of everything. He speaks of our meeting as if it was the greatest romance that ever happened but that's not true at all. I was merely 14 and in school.
He was 19 and in college. We met at parties, socials and fetes. We played games together but we were always in a group, never alone. And there was no earth-shattering realisation that this is love. I liked him and I guess he liked me but that's about it.
"Today he loves to dramatise the whole thing and behave like it was a great thing. It was later, when we'd been meeting for a few years, that our friendship grew. We knew each other for eight years before we married. And I must admit I was totally confused. His being a Muslim and entering films caused a lot of tension in my family.
They were totally against it and though I was clear I wanted to marry him, I wasn't quite easy with the fact that he was entering films. But gradually my parents got to know him and found him cool.
"Being married to him is the easiest thing. He's an easy person to be with. And particularly with me, he is so caring that I have gained a lot of confidence from being with him. If I say anything to him, he listens (hastily amends), pretends to listen as if it is the single most delightful thing to have me tell him anything. If I pluck a leaf, he tells me the way I do it, is the only way to do it. Everything I do is perfect with him and though I know he's trying to please me, it's a quality I like very much.
But (with great perspicuity) all that is a pretence, he's very, very stubborn. No one can make him do anything he doesn't want to or not do something that he wants to. He may pretend that he's listening to you and do what you want but if he doesn't agree to it, then he won't do it.
But he's so convincing that if we are discussing or arguing, before the issue can be resolved, he has persuaded you to his own point of view so naturally and convincingly that though you see through him, you give in to him. He does it charmingly, not connivingly — that's what's so endearing about him.
"The two of us have nothing in common. That's why I think we were attracted — opposite poles and all that. I'm a very laidback person.
Very little affects me. I'm different with Shah Rukh though. Not so phlegmatic. In the sense that if he ever tries to tell me off or slightly to put me down or not give me the attention I want, I will not take it. Even now if something like that happens, I just ignore him and start doing my own thing. I can be with him and still withdraw totally.
"What would hurt me very much is if he ever lied to me. I might lie to him (laughs) but not in fundamentals. I wouldn't cheat him. I do not contribute to his film life, not an ounce, but that's because I don't want to.
"Personally though, I think I bring happiness into his life — joy, a smiling face. When he comes home, I am there. I serve him food, am nice to him, laugh with him, watch movies together, party together and he does the same — gives me satisfaction, makes me smile all the time. I hate tension of any kind and he makes me feel at ease wherever I am and makes me feel that whatever I am doing is the best. I experience his love for me."
Shah Rukh on Gauri
"The greatest quality she possesses is her genuineness… and it's such a pleasure to come home to someone who's so real. She's outspoken, she can be rude at times but she doesn't give in to diplomacy. She is everything I am not. She complements me. I like to think that what I am is because of what she is. I would be a different person otherwise.
"I am a difficult person to be with. I am temperamental and eccentric. She doesn't give in to my temperament at times, sometimes she does. She doesn't listen to me all the time, sometimes she does. I'd say she handles me very well. And that's not her only claim to fame! She is very genuine, something that I can never be perhaps.
"She means everything to me. She's the only person I'd go and cry in front of. I used to be quite a slob, quite a bachelor in my ways. I'd never eat at the dining table. I'd throw clothes wherever I took them off. She's changed all that. I try to do what she likes because she likes it and I respect that.
"What I expect from her is to be herself at all times. I expect her to be the Gauri I fell in love with and I hope she never changes. There are no expectations — whatever happens happens and I like what happens. What does she expect from me? Everything. She expects me to do everything and I do it.
"She knows she's more beautiful in my eyes than my co-stars and that's what's more important to her, I guess. If I had to choose between peace of mind and a piece of a**, I'd choose the former (quoting a dialogue from Forrest Gump).
He signs off mock arrogantly. "We have just one thing in common. I love me and she loves me and that's the only thing we agree upon." She retorts, "People ask me how does it feel being married to a star like Shah Rukh? That's ridiculous — for me he's my husband, not a star. The day I see him as a star, our relationship will suffer very much."
http://mid-day.com/smd/play/2007/February/151624.htm
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