PrAja TS: Iss darde dil ki sifarish

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-Magnanimous-

@-Magnanimous-

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#51

Nice update Cel..
liked how you included the dupatta scene..update soon!

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CallmeCel

@CallmeCel

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#52

Originally posted by: ksgfan
Nice update Cel..
liked how you included the dupatta scene..update soon!

Thanks so much somi di😃
Will update ASAP.

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CallmeCel

@CallmeCel

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: arshi.zoha
Beautifully written

Thanks dear😃

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VARSHAVJAIN

@VARSHAVJAIN

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

#54

HI I M NEW IN THS FORUM
I LKE UR UPDATE VERY MUCH ITS AWESOME👍🏼
WAIT FOR NEXT UPDATE

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Chit15

@Chit15

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#55

Awesome writing Loved it

Please update soon

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MaxMayfield

@MaxMayfield

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#56

Celu darling - this is a beautiful piece of update🤗

so well written, so well incorporated the FBs!👏 and this is exactly how I thot the story would go...a confused pratap in a weak moment and due to Ajab;s constant hurting him would give up and say ok to marrying Phool...though CVs surprised us with confession from both ends and beautifully showed the sacrifice...but I like ur version too👏

and the description, the song incorporation - it was very very well done👏

waiting for the next update...and OMG special mention to the duppatta being with Pratap - man I wish we get to see that in the show😳

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khusam

@khusam

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#57

suprb updt...
soo touchy..ful of pain n soft n beautifl emotions..
thanks fr d pm dear
n updt soon..lv to read

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Bonhi

@Bonhi_ipkknd

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#58

The story starts after Pratap & Phool marriage has been fixed. The scenario in Phool's room with the two friends - Phool & Ajabdeh. Phool is as happy as she should be...after all she is about to marry Pratap. Honestly, I would have been too if I was in her place😉 coz Pratap is...well Pratap.😆 And oh, Rao Maldeo has accepted it too...understandably, Phool is over the moon and is blabbering about her happiness to Ajabdeh who isn't facing her. Is it guilt or self-preservation? Here, Phool is facing the mirror...coz she is at par with her feelings & thoughts. She knows what she wants & is clear about it to all. On the other hand, Ajabdeh is facing away from the mirror...towards the night sky. She is confused within. The battle between her heart & mind continues and she is not yet at peace with it. Wonderful. 👏

Another contrast where Phool thinks about her own happiness, good fortune & dreams regarding Pratap coming true...Ajabdeh is thinking about their moments together & what Pratap said...HIS decision & not about her own misfortune.

Ajabdeh's thoughts...the girl is completely broken. How much ever she tries to hold up the fort, she is falling down & she doesn't know where. Her mind wanted this to happen, she had led this to happen...had played a very important role or else this alliance wouldn't have been possible but seeing it happen is tougher than she had estimated it to be. This part is making my heart ache for this girl. Your writing is flawless Celena...the pain & hollow that Ajab must be feeling is stark.

Ajab didn't even try to control her tears in front of Phool...that shows her state. Here I actually liked Phool...she is ignorant but loves her friend. And it seems like Phool does have a doubt..is it?

Ajab trying to console herself...I'm in tears.

It was a very apt introduction...which described the emotions, state of mind, personality & role of the two girls who are at the focus of the entire story I think.

Now the 1st part..

The wedding preparation is in full swing. SB & JB in the midst of beautiful ghaghras...

SB as always is seeing just from the outer side...she is right from her point as you said. But everyone seems to have forgotten that JB is Pratap's mother...its a mother's intuition & moreover she in essence is Pratap's very soul. And here again we get to see a helpless mother & not the Maharani of Mewar. When her whole family is against her..even the one she is fighting for...the only hope she has is from her Kanhaji. This was a very good scene again. So normal but important. Sajja has always been the one behind...here she is gonna take the wedding preparations responsibilities. Who always followed Jaivantha..is against her today.

Now, At last we get to see the one person on whom everyone's thoughts are revolving around...Kunwar Pratap. And he is again staring at the night sky..showing a parallel with Ajabdeh's feelings. He is confused too and doesn't know his way ahead. It's amavasya...no moon...no light.

So, this is what happens. This rude Ajab is coming from her fear...she doesn't trust herself with Pratap. She is afraid she will blurt out the truth. Her insecurities & feeling of inadequacy combined with Rajputana's future & Phool's wish...outweighs her heart. She is trying to do what seems right but in the process is ignoring the person's feelings she is doing this for. Pratap is hurt...he loves Ajab though he hasn't realized it yet, his heart knows. And he confessed that he cares for Ajab. But this rash decision taken out of anger will make him more sad than he was. But I hope will aid him in knowing his love.

He belongs to someone else, yes. And the boy understands this sadness is not only for the wrong decision but the reason he feels the decision is wrong. He collected Ajab's dupatta..?? Yaaayyy..!!!! And kept it in a sanduk with his treasured possesions.☺️ Thankyou for doing this. I sooo looove u...jhappi🤗 🤗

His Ajabdeh...eh?😉 The beautiful time in Bijolia...with no complexities in the boundary. The closeness when he put those buckets on Ajabdeh...so he felt it too...and remembers. It looks like he is not that clueless to his feelings. If not completely but he is more than half there.

In the same mahal, doors apart two people are in the same state. Both are unhappy with their own decisions & are questioning their feelings.

The last part...its heart-wrenching. The inner tumoils, grief could be actually felt. The bottled up feelings finally getting a flow out - tears in the dark. The water evaporates & nothing but the tear marks & two exhausted souls are left behind. Just where they were before...no change of position...probably shows no change of emotions too.

Kudos to your writing⭐️...its absolutely beautiful. The last part...the song was apt...so well chosen. The words & the feelings...the silent symphony. I'm too overwhelmed.

Do write more & please..it's a request...make this a SS and not a TS. Will wait to see how you proceed with the story.

P.S. Sorry got carried away. Didn't think of writing this long. But you were brilliant & I just can't stop myself.😳 😆

Edited by Bonhi_ipkknd - 11 years ago

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Kusum

@worldequalsyou

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#59

Loved it awesome :) awesome awesome awesome :D

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rutu83

@rutu83

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#60

hayee-just wanna hug these two 🥺
beautifully written. loved it! the song selection is perfect for the situation 👏

may i make one suggestion?- if possible, add more space to your paragraphs and write the dialogues separately. since they are in hindi (wonderfully written, mind you) it would be easier to switch and read between english and hindi. or have it in different color.

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PrAja TS: Iss darde dil ki sifarish - Page 6

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