Why did Anirudh not stay with Bondita in London as previously planned?

Hi everyone! I only recently started watching this show. In order to get through the present timeline of the story, I ended up binge-watching the episodes. But one thing which is not clear to me yet is--- weren't Ani and Bondita supposed to stay in London together till Bondita completes her studies? Then why does Anirudh return back to India? What made him to change his decision?

There are many reasons for it:

1. Sumati, Bonditha’s mother has kept her life in risk, threatened Kalindi/ Thakuma and sent Bonditha to fulfill her dream. Anirudh is worried about her also.

2. Because Anirudh has took away Bonditha from her family, having a guilty feeling in mind he came back and tried to mend ways with Thakuma family.

3. Thakuma May harm his family after taking Bonditha away, so to look after them, he came back

4. Bonditha’s mind should be away from all burdens and focus only on studies, so he left her alone.

5. Makers doesn’t want to give any wrong advice to viewers that a boy and girl can run away defaming their family prestige and respect. So they have shown that they are not together in her growing stage. Many of the viewers are teenagers and youngsters, they have major responsibility of not to mislead them in any means. So they have shown that Anirudh has returned back

Anirudh would've probably stayed with her in London had his feelings for her remained platonic. She has long become his wife, companion and soulmate in every way except physically.

Had they both been adults, he would've soon realized that he's in love with her. But the fact that she is a child never let him introspect his feelings in the romantic/physical perspective.

He was happy when she was with him, they shared each other's happiness, sorrow, mischief, secrets and everything. He terribly missed her when she stayed away from him due to her periods and the misunderstanding caused by Sampurna.

He was as broken as Bondita when their divorce happened and when she called him "Barrister Babu" instead of her typical Pati babu or Biristra Babu on the night of their divorce.

He lived in her memories when she was at Siligudi hostel before Thakuma entered their lives.

They had a husband-wife relationship in every way except physically. Post Hiramandi track, he was so at ease when people addressed them as pati patni.

Only when people pushed them to think about physical aspect of their relationship, he lost his head.

He had realized down the way that she's not a mere fitoor or responsibility anymore. He called her patni at ease post Hiramandi track, but without truly realizing the depth of what the word means to people around him.

He so easily said " I love you " (Aamiyo tumake bhalo bashi) to her on the terrace during Rupa track. But I don't think he truly realized the depth of those words when he said it.

Because he only knew innocence in their relationship and is agitated when people try to spoil it by dumping false ideas into him and Bondita like the teenage track where they corrupted Bondita's mind with adult thoughts, love, consummation, etc.

He knows his feelings are changed but didn't truly

analyze them for what they were until he opened up recently to Vyjayanti at the temple.

He had probably realized long back that something has changed and his feelings are turning more deeper for than what he believed it has to be.

He didn't probably trust himself with his changing feelings and didn't want Bondita's education to be affected witnessing all these.

Also, he had wanted her to be educated as well as independent. He wanted to give her the freedom to choose and live her life at her terms and also the freedom to choose her life partner in future if it's not him.

Their marriage didn't happen under normal circumstances and she didn't get to choose him as her life partner and vice-versa.

Had Bondita been in India or if he had went with her to London, she might choose him as life partner out of gratitude for all that he had done for her or because she would be used to his presence and wouldn't have learnt to live without him.

She might get educated but not truly independent if he had moved with her to London.

But now, she is educated, she had lived without him for 8 years independently and she still is grateful for all that he did for her. She had the freedom and circumstance to fall in love with anybody in London and marry him. But she didn't.

She still chose Anirudh but not out of gratitude but for the gem that he is.

Yes, he had his presence in her life through the 3- word letter she received from him in London but that didn't contain anything special to keep her interested in him for 8 years. She too had always known that there's never be any man close to Anirudh in her life.

Originally posted by: anir3434

Thanks for your insight.

I am not very sure, but my perspective on this was-- the reason Ani feels bad about Bondita calling him barrister babu instead of patibabu is more to do with the fact that they are no longer now officially related to each other in any way anymore. Because calling him barrister babu would mean that he is now a stranger. A lot of people must be calling him by that title. Pati babu, on the other hand, had a nice personal feeling to it. It is as if Bondita was a part of his own family. I guess that is why he feels extremely happy when they rekindle their relation in a sakha-sakhi way. Ani thinking of Bon in a potentially "wifey" way, even if it is in a platonic sense sounds pretty regressive to me at least.

Also, Ani was pretty okay with going and staying in London with her till the last minute. Remember that scene where they are escaping in a car to the railway station and Bon asking Ani to promise her that he will not let anything come between them? He was going to promise her exactly that, when he suddenly gets distracted. Which means, till that moment at least, such a thought of leaving Bon behind had probably not even crossed his mind. But when he sees the confrontation between Sumati maa and Thaku maa, that is probably when he is jolted back to reality. That probably his decision has put a lot of people, dear to Bon, at risk. And I guess that is why he cries while sitting in the train.

Also what would have happened if Ani and Bon had stayed together in London? If we are being realistic here, most probably any lingering crush feelings Bon had for Ani would have faded away with time. He was a father figure to him! In a foreign location, completely away from relatives who would groom her to think in a certain way, I am guessing their relationship would have completely toned down to being platonic with time.

I don't think Ani would have had developed any physical attraction for a girl he had literally looked after as his own daughter/sister. I feel it is their mutual separation which acts as a precursor to any potential romance. Because it is often separation which builds up longing.

I agree with you PoV too.

@ bold I think it would've been applicable had Anirudh's feelings changed after she left. He had somewhere accepted that she is his wife and soulmate before sending her off to London.

So, to be physically attracted to her would be very natural even if he had stayed with her in London because no matter how platonic was their relation, he never saw her as his sister even in the beginning of their marriage.

He didn't promise her in the car. He was not bound by the bond of husband to her. He could've very well married another woman in these 8 years and Bondita could've been just a good friend. But he didn't and couldn't give her place to anyone even after their divorce and separation.

Even if he had raised her in London in front of him, his feelings would've only intensified by her transformation from a naive, smart, curious girl to an educated, independent and sophisticated woman.

The separation made him give a NAME to their relation. Had he been in London with her, he would've try to deny the feelings because he always felt it is inappropriate to think about a child that way.

But he would've been happy to just platonically love her and do everything as a typical yet broad-minded, progressive husband, although they had become sakha sakhi to each other.

He will still love her as a husband does but would never bring himself to exercise his rights on her as a husband except when it comes to doing anything for her wellbeing and upbringing.

Like I said earlier, his feelings changed before she left for London. And as you said, the separation intensified the longing.

To add to my previous point that he called her patni, said I LOVE YOU in his innocence without truly understanding the depth of the words he used, I also felt that he had easily stated that she has the freedom to choose her life partner.

Although, I don't know if he would really be able to handle it had Bondita chosen someone else other than him for her life partner.

He is this miserable without her for just 8 years.

Somewhere, the hope that she'll choose him as her life partner had kept him sane and alive. He hadn't truly admitted it to himself though.

That's why even Kaka questioned him that day if he still has hope that Bondita would choose him and hence doesn't want to marry Vyjayanti.

Thanks for your reply.

After reading your answer I feel the primary reason for the change in his decision could have been the fact that he was worried, what will happen to Bondita's family after he escaped with Bondita during her marriage.

Because points 2,3,4, and 5 were valid even before the marriage incident, isn't it? Thakuma could have still harmed his family, he could have still suffered from guilt for escaping with Bondita secretly. And as far point 5 is concerned, makers had made Anirudh tell Bondita that he would be there to support her through her studies. For such a progressive show to be concerned about regressive things like family prestige is not really appealing. I think Anirudh would be the last one to bother about such things as long as he feels his heart is at the right place. If he was somebody so bothered by family prestige and the girl-boy thing, he wouldn't have done so many progressive things he did for Bondita.

Originally posted by: RTDeewani

Anirudh would've probably stayed with her in London had his feelings for her remained platonic. She has long become his wife, companion and soulmate in every way except physically.

Had they both been adults, he would've soon realized that he's in love with her. But the fact that she is a child never let him introspect his feelings in the romantic/physical perspective.

He was happy when she was with him, they shared each other's happiness, sorrow, mischief, secrets and everything. He terribly missed her when she stayed away from him due to her periods and the misunderstanding caused by Sampurna.

He was as broken as Bondita when their divorce happened and when she called him "Barrister Babu" instead of her typical Pati babu or Biristra Babu on the night of their divorce.

He lived in her memories when she was at Siligudi hostel before Thakuma entered their lives.

They had a husband-wife relationship in every way except physically. Post Hiramandi track, he was so at ease when people addressed them as pati patni.

Only when people pushed them to think about physical aspect of their relationship, he lost his head.

He had realized down the way that she's not a mere fitoor or responsibility anymore. He called her patni at ease post Hiramandi track, but without truly realizing the depth of what the word means to people around him.

He so easily said " I love you " (Aamiyo tumake bhalo bashi) to her on the terrace during Rupa track. But I don't think he truly realized the depth of those words when he said it.

Because he only knew innocence in their relationship and is agitated when people try to spoil it by dumping false ideas into him and Bondita like the teenage track where they corrupted Bondita's mind with adult thoughts, love, consummation, etc.

He knows his feelings are changed but didn't truly

analyze them for what they were until he opened up recently to Vyjayanti at the temple.

He had probably realized long back that something has changed and his feelings are turning more deeper for than what he believed it has to be.

He didn't probably trust himself with his changing feelings and didn't want Bondita's education to be affected witnessing all these.

Also, he had wanted her to be educated as well as independent. He wanted to give her the freedom to choose and live her life at her terms and also the freedom to choose her life partner in future if it's not him.

Their marriage didn't happen under normal circumstances and she didn't get to choose him as her life partner and vice-versa.

Had Bondita been in India or if he had went with her to London, she might choose him as life partner out of gratitude for all that he had done for her or because she would be used to his presence and wouldn't have learnt to live without him.

She might get educated but not truly independent if he had moved with her to London.

But now, she is educated, she had lived without him for 8 years independently and she still is grateful for all that he did for her. She had the freedom and circumstance to fall in love with anybody in London and marry him. But she didn't.

She still chose Anirudh but not out of gratitude but for the gem that he is.

Yes, he had his presence in her life through the 3- word letter she received from him in London but that didn't contain anything special to keep her interested in him for 8 years. She too had always known that there's never be any man close to Anirudh in her life.

Thanks for your insight.

I am not very sure, but my perspective on this was-- the reason Ani feels bad about Bondita calling him barrister babu instead of patibabu is more to do with the fact that they are no longer now officially related to each other in any way anymore. Because calling him barrister babu would mean that he is now a stranger. A lot of people must be calling him by that title. Pati babu, on the other hand, had a nice personal feeling to it. It is as if Bondita was a part of his own family. I guess that is why he feels extremely happy when they rekindle their relation in a sakha-sakhi way. Ani thinking of Bon in a potentially "wifey" way, even if it is in a platonic sense sounds pretty regressive to me at least.

Also, Ani was pretty okay with going and staying in London with her till the last minute. Remember that scene where they are escaping in a car to the railway station and Bon asking Ani to promise her that he will not let anything come between them? He was going to promise her exactly that, when he suddenly gets distracted. Which means, till that moment at least, such a thought of leaving Bon behind had probably not even crossed his mind. But when he sees the confrontation between Sumati maa and Thaku maa, that is probably when he is jolted back to reality. That probably his decision has put a lot of people, dear to Bon, at risk. And I guess that is why he cries while sitting in the train.

Also what would have happened if Ani and Bon had stayed together in London? If we are being realistic here, most probably any lingering crush feelings Bon had for Ani would have faded away with time. He was a father figure to him! In a foreign location, completely away from relatives who would groom her to think in a certain way, I am guessing their relationship would have completely toned down to being platonic with time.

I don't think Ani would have had developed any physical attraction for a girl he had literally looked after as his own daughter/sister. I feel it is their mutual separation which acts as a precursor to any potential romance. Because it is often separation which builds up longing.

Originally posted by: RTDeewani

I agree with you PoV too.

@ bold I think it would've been applicable had Anirudh's feelings changed after she left. He had somewhere accepted that she is his wife and soulmate before sending her off to London.

So, to be physically attracted to her would be very natural even if he had stayed with her in London because no matter how platonic was their relation, he never saw her as his sister even in the beginning of their marriage.

He didn't promise her in the car. He was not bound by the bond of husband to her. He could've very well married another woman in these 8 years and Bondita could've been just a good friend. But he didn't and couldn't give her place to anyone even after their divorce and separation.

Even if he had raised her in London in front of him, his feelings would've only intensified by her transformation from a naive, smart, curious girl to an educated, independent and sophisticated woman.

The separation made him give a NAME to their relation. Had he been in London with her, he would've try to deny the feelings because he always felt it is inappropriate to think about a child that way.

But he would've been happy to just platonically love her and do everything as a typical yet broad-minded, progressive husband, although they had become sakha sakhi to each other.

He will still love her as a husband does but would never bring himself to exercise his rights on her as a husband except when it comes to doing anything for her wellbeing and upbringing.

Like I said earlier, his feelings changed before she left for London. And as you said, the separation intensified the longing.

To add to my previous point that he called her patni, said I LOVE YOU in his innocence without truly understanding the depth of the words he used, I also felt that he had easily stated that she has the freedom to choose her life partner.

Although, I don't know if he would really be able to handle it had Bondita chosen someone else other than him for her life partner.

He is this miserable without her for just 8 years.

Somewhere, the hope that she'll choose him as her life partner had kept him sane and alive. He hadn't truly admitted it to himself though.

That's why even Kaka questioned him that day if he still has hope that Bondita would choose him and hence doesn't want to marry Vyjayanti.

Actually my main criticism with this otherwise great show has been Bon being "wifey" and romantic with him. I am not saying Bon choosing Ani is a bad thing. He is a great guy!
But the way it is portrayed in the show, it is what we call grooming. Imagine a scenario where Bon was married to Ani's youngest bro and not him. Ani, being the guy he is, would have still taken her under his wing. Tried to the teach stuff he knew. Shown love, care and affection. And yet, Bon would never have thought of him as a potential mate. But only as a father/brother/teacher figure. So, a partial reason for this attraction from Bon's ( and possibly Ani's side) is because of the way society has groomed her to think of Ani as a potential mate. It is another matter that inadvertently she has made a right choice. I wish the makers had showcased the potential romance in a different way. But that should be the topic of a separate post.

Originally posted by: anir3434

Actually my main criticism with this otherwise great show has been Bon being "wifey" and romantic with him. I am not saying Bon choosing Ani is a bad thing. He is a great guy!
But the way it is portrayed in the show, it is what we call grooming. Imagine a scenario where Bon was married to Ani's youngest bro and not him. Ani, being the guy he is, would have still taken her under his wing. Tried to the teach stuff he knew. Shown love, care and affection. And yet, Bon would never have thought of him as a potential mate. But only as a father/brother/teacher figure. So, a partial reason for this attraction from Bon's ( and possibly Ani's side) is because of the way society has groomed her to think of Ani as a potential mate. It is another matter that inadvertently she has made a right choice. I wish the makers had showcased the potential romance in a different way. But that should be the topic of a separate post.

Absolutely agreed with what you said here.

That social conditioning is a partial reason and that is also the main reason Anirudh wanted Bondita away from the insanity of the society especially from Kaka.

He already had the taste of it when Kaka influenced Bondita regarding patni dharm , consummation and went to the extent of arranging a function and wedding night for them.

Else, he'd have happily had her getting educated even in Kolkata. One reason to send her off to London would've surely been to keep her away for such toxic influences.