U, me and Hum! (updated page 7)

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farhana

@Rakhie_08

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#31

chalia, I had written a page long response to your post and then the system aquired a glitch and I lost it all! 😭

It's too long to write out again, but in short I agree with you and understand why you had Santu do what she did in your little story.

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rpmenon

@rpmenon

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#32

Chalia,As much as I like your stories,I beg to differ a little here.Or maybe I am missing a point,I dont know.The dufford that DM,he would still not react this way.If Santu walks out,I dont think DM will sit quietly and let her leave.With indifference.He might not prevent her from going,in so many words,but he would never be indifferent.Thats just not DM.I also dont think he would want her to live like a servant.He loves her,and he does respect her,in his own way,but everything that he does,has the opposite effect.But for that,we should blame the creatives,right?For giving him gross dialogues.

I maybe missing something in the story,but i honestly dont think DM would stoop to this level.He does respect the decision she made,but what do we all want.Make Arjan leave Khemi when she is bearing his child?Would that be a good decision.Would that be the just thing to do.DM is doing the right thing by keeping her.Its a different matter altogether that we dislike Arjeria and Khemi.But to DM,khemi is the daughter-in-law,who now bears his son's child.I dont think he wants just the heir.

I dont think even Santu would want to send Khemi away at this point,when she knows about her condition.Wouldnt it be childish if she still maintains that she should be sent away.
I dont think DM is at fault this time,blame it on the CVs for bringing in such a track,and fixing the characters in deep trash.

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farhana

@Rakhie_08

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#33

As much as I hate it, I don't think DM should send her out of the house either, but to now have DM back-tracking is really a daft move by the creatives.

There just doesn't seem to be any consistency with his character anymore. DM pretty much makes things up as he goes along these days. One rule for you, another for me, and to hell with the rules if I'm backed into a corner thank you very much!

If he feels that Khemi has to stay at the mansion, fair enough. But whilst he is doing the right thing by her, he will not bother doing the right thing by Santu as and when members of the family start giving her grief over the matter.

Everyone will always get their rights and their needs met. Meanwhile Santu will be reduced to the doormat and skivvy once again, only called upon as and when her malik needs her. 9 times out of 10 DM can't or won't protect Santu.

Justice for one sister will result in injustice for the other. Even though it will be unintentionally on his part, that is what will happen. And when it does, he will do sod all to protect Santu.

Because that's the one thing DM does well. Sod all for Santu.

Edited by Rakhie_08 - 15 years ago

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farhana

@Rakhie_08

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#34

Since the saat phere's are taken around a fire the husband is to be regarded as the highest deity. And Santu for her part seems to do this. Whilst I don't want to offend anyone here, I have to say that in doing so sometimes I feel she forgets that he is human.

He errs, he has faults and flaws. But for whatever reason Santu does not see any of this. And this is why she always forgives him. Always makes allownaces for his mistreatment of her. And in doing so, she only ensures the continuation of this mistreatment. She needs to learn that no matter how high a diety he maybe, he is also prone to mistake, because ultimately he is not god, but a man. She only has to consider him as diety, not that he actually is. Does that make sense?

DM on the other hand sometimes seems to view Santu as a mere chattel. There to be used whether physically, or emotinally as and when he needs her. He hasn't even begun to understand the true value of Santu. Whilst everyone was aware of how desolate the house had been without a woman for all these years, DM though in theory agrees, in practise it is rather a different story. In his heart of hearts he knows what a valuable person Santu is within the family, but very rarely if at all tells her or demonstrates it openly and explicitly in front of others.

I really believe that Santu needs to leave the house just once, in order for him to understand that his wife is what makes his house a home. As they say you don't know what you've got till it's gone!

Santu understands DM the man, far better than DM understands Santu the woman. She knows how to handle him to a point. DM hasn't yet worked out what Santu needs from him. He offers with one hand and takes back with the other.

She is ever devoted to him and ever relying on him. It's about time, she had some of that devotion reciprocated and instead of relying on him learns to stand up for herself occasionally. If you are in the right, phir daar kis baat ki?

A wife isn't just a wife in the biblical sense. She is a confidant, an advisor and an associate in all matters including profit and pleasure. Of all the things that DM has in his life Santu is probably the most valuable, if for no other reason than that she is truly the best friend he is ever likely to have. Because she has no ulterior motive in anything she does other than his happiness. It's a shame that Santu's happiness seems to come last in DM's list.

Even when DM was completely indifferent to her and she was living in the store-room, she was still his ally and his aid. DM has yet to acknowledge this either to her or us.

In the presence of the fire a woman becomes her husbands associate. She is supposed to walk by his side, not behind him through life. They are supposed to work together in all matters. But here DM makes the rules Santu just follows. DM doesn't ask for her opinions and is very curt if she ever offers any. He merely utilises her when he's in a pickle, as with the sarpanch issue last week.

Didn't Bhishma say that respect, kindness and all that is good should be given to the woman who's hands a man takes in marriage? Where is all of this in Santu's case? Didn't he also say that when women are treated with respect the very dieties are also filled with joy. And where a woman recieves grief and sheds tears, that household becomes extinct. In the case of Bandini then M-mansion should have dissappeared into the ground given all the tears Santu has shed, and all the crap she has endured.

Women are soft-hearted. We forget and forgive easily. That unfortunately is our nature. And Santu is even better than the rest of us!!!

I really want their marriage to work. I think they make a good couple. They compliment each other well, and DM probably needs Santu more than she does him, he just doesn't know it yet.

I don't want them to divorce, but I do want her to leave. For her own good and his. To give each other the space and time to evaluate their relationship and for DM to give a proper name and definition to it. We think he loves her, but we don't really know if it's love or just mere affection and concern.

But you know what annoys me most about the SanRaj relationship? DM has raised the status of Subhi so high that she is untouchable. She has almost a saint-like status in his eyes. Whilst Subhi may ahve been and done many wonderful things, she did them from a privileged position. Unlike Santu who has had to claw her way up from somewhere so far below that there isn't even a name for it.

Santu's strength of character, resilience and human spirit surpasses Subhis in every way possible. Subhi was accepted into the family straight away and had everything given to her. Santu had to fight against all odds and against everyone to get even the little bit she does now.

So in comparison Santu's life is far more remarkable than Subhis. She is far worthier of being given that saint-like status than Subhi. But the chances of DM realising this and giving her her dues in every sense of the word are slim and a very very long way off.

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chalia

@chalia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: rpmenon
Chalia,As much as I like your stories,I beg to differ a little here.Or maybe I am missing a point,I dont know.The dufford that DM,he would still not react this way.If Santu walks out,I dont think DM will sit quietly and let her leave.With indifference.He might not prevent her from going,in so many words,but he would never be indifferent.Thats just not DM.I also dont think he would want her to live like a servant.He loves her,and he does respect her,in his own way,but everything that he does,has the opposite effect.But for that,we should blame the creatives,right?For giving him gross dialogues.

I maybe missing something in the story,but i honestly dont think DM would stoop to this level.He does respect the decision she made,but what do we all want.Make Arjan leave Khemi when she is bearing his child?Would that be a good decision.Would that be the just thing to do.DM is doing the right thing by keeping her.Its a different matter altogether that we dislike Arjeria and Khemi.But to DM,khemi is the daughter-in-law,who now bears his son's child.I dont think he wants just the heir.

I dont think even Santu would want to send Khemi away at this point,when she knows about her condition.Wouldnt it be childish if she still maintains that she should be sent away.
I dont think DM is at fault this time,blame it on the CVs for bringing in such a track,and fixing the characters in deep trash.

I am also not blaming DM from keeping the pregnant Khemi and Arjan back in the mansion. That would not be the right thing to do. Where would Khemi go and etc.

My anger with DM is that he uses Santu like a puppet to his convenience. He never consults her on anything even if it directly involves her participation (like being the sarpanch). Then when things go wrong, he quickly changes sides and punishes her and that i dont agree with. If he thinks she is good enough to be his wife, she is good enough to be his confidante and guide, sharing his innermost thoughts and plans. He keeps himself aloof emotionally but wants to use her physically. And that for me is not palatable.

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chalia

@chalia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#36

Rakhie, i agree with all that you said since i have said the very same things many times when Santu is in trouble with the family/DM etc.

DM has put himself and Subhi on this pedastal. Well, Subhi thankfully died while DM keeps falling off the pedastal. Santu keeps putting him back on it to soothe his ego and he has begun to believe that he is above everything.

My post here is to bring to light a few things;

1. DM has taken Santu for granted in every sense and so feels he has the right to use her services in every which way that benefits him or his family.

2. I always feel in every situation there comes a "you mend it or you end it". Santu is here trying to "mend" her relationship not by coercion or threats of a pregnancy (if you read the beginning of my post, you will see that "Santu carries a secret in her heart - possible pregnancy). She is trying to make DM give her a proper status in his heart and house, not that of the "spare wheel".

3. Santu has not left permanently. She is asking for time and space and who is better to understand her needs than Toral. Will nanaji even give her face? he will emotionally blackmail her about her duty and thats it.

4. Santu this time is not offering explanations to DM nor is she ranting at him. She wants him to figure things out for himself.

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farhana

@Rakhie_08

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#37

Chalia, I understood exactly why Santu says what she does to DM.

I do the same with my husband sometimes. Work it out for yourself. If I have to tell you point by point it means that you have not even begun to understand who or what I am. You don't know me at all. If you did, you would know what this is about and what I'm trying to say without actually saying it.

DM calls Santu a duffor, but frankly I think he's far more duffor than she is. At least when it comes to relatiosnhips anyway. He's completely clued up in business matters and sharp as a pin. But when it comes to relationships, young Santu is far more astute than he is.

I know that in this day and age it is almost considered backwards to want to be cared for by a man. We are told that we have to be independent and make our own lives. Whilst I agree with that, sometimes a woman just wants to be a woman. Call me old-fashioned but I want to be loved, cared for, cherished and protected. Santu is like every other girl in that respect. Whilst we constantly yell at her for lacking a spine, she's just another girl who wants her man to put his arms around her and hold the world back.

DM is supposedly the wiser of the two. And while he may be extremely intelligent, he does not know the answers to everything. He needs help, advice and guidance from someone who, though young and inexperienced, can offer him the 'other' view. He should learn from her youth, from her background etc. He does say that she is capable of making judgements, but we only ever see him allow her the chance to do so when he's trying to save himself from being the bad guy. Then he doesn't ask her, he thrusts the task upon her.

I know that for the purpose of the show Santu will always remain a bandini in some capacity or another. But really it's high time she took a stand every now and again. Whilst in a real situation this maybe easier said than done, the beauty of a reel situation is that we can take these liberties and use some poetic licence. So come on creatives use your licence and give her a spine for once!

Edited by Rakhie_08 - 15 years ago

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fuzzyface

@fuzzyface

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#38

i think all of u are right.

anyways since we are not watching the show coz we know the stupid crap that is going to be dished out.

at this point dun care abt airhead

really mad that she is gonna get pampered like a bahu when santu got s*** all this while just coz she is preggers.

I mean they are giving her a gharapravish something santu never got until the second wedding. Seems like Khemi's acceptance is much easier on the minions.

i guess some are more equals than others!

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chalia

@chalia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#39

Ya man. And having said everything under the sun, what we all need to understand is that Santu is a glutton for punishment. She just absorbs and takes all that is thrown at her from anyone and everyone. So sometimes i think she attracts suffering like a magnet. She feels that she is responsible for all that goes wrong at the mansion or the people she cares about.

One must draw a line somewhere.

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vrsharma

@vrsharma

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#40

Santu & DM Future Story (Expecting):

Moti & Khemi was trying to blame for unnecessary reason infront of the whole family. Hiten was supporting them along with Maujan. As usual santu maa started crying and baa & bapuji were trying to convience her. DM heard every thing as he was coming out from kharkana and saw santu crying like any thing. He came in side. He was so angry at everybody for blaming santu and was unable to control his anger. he was angry at santu also for not stanging infront of every body rather than crying. he started shouting on her like "why always u will cry? don't have any other work to do or u don't know any thing else other than this?"

Every body got shocked and baa was about to tell some thing. but he left the place and went to his room with out listening to any body. Every body left the place other than Santu, Champu, baa & bapuji (Moulik & Moti with smiled faces)

Santu was so upset and decided to leave the house immediately but she don't want to inform any body on this. After telling some thing to her both (Baa & Bapuji) left the place. Only Santu & Champu left there. Moti comes back and tell santu that, she need to leave the house if she want some peaceful ness in the house. she will tell that khemi became massi to arjan bcz santu is DM wife. if she is no more related to DM then they can lead happy life. she can leave DM for her sister as she did before also.

Santu will tell champu that she decided to leave and also reveals that she is a pregnent. she will tell her that she was so happy when she came to know abt her pregnency. champu tries to stop her by telling that now she have more reason to stay here but santu tells that khemi staying in the house is more needed than her staying, as she is going to give birth to next generation. she will leave to others to inform that she is going to nanaji house for some time by making sure that champu is not going to tell any body abt this

First santu goes to hiten room and found all DM kids (Except arjan, moulik) there only. she says sorry to hiten and others for her decision and tells that she is going to nanaji place for some time

Then she goes to Baa & Bapuji room and tells them that she is going to her nanaji house for some time

Finally she goes to DM. removes all the jewellary and keeps on dressing table and tell him that she decided to go to her nanaji place for some time and then leave the place. DM say santu to stop and was about to ask some thing but he gets a call from antwerb and the ask him to come immediatly there for some business.

He says fine and calls some body to book a ticket for him to antwerb to day night. and he will start packing his things. every body came out to give send off except santu as she already left the house. DM was despirately looking for santu and asks Champu where is she. baa tells that, she may left to Nanaji's place as she told her. DM feels very uncomfortable for some reason and asks moulik and khanji whether they are interested to go Antwerb to meet them. Moulik was so exited and tells yes and moti was so happy for that. DM calls the same person again and tell him that get the tickets for Moulik, khanji and moti and tell them that after completion of business work their family can enjoy there for some time. He want send moti out from mansion for some time to clear the differences between khemi and santu. They three will leave to Antwerb, moti was not happy that khanji is also coming with them but moulik was so happy that his papa is also coming.

Next day morning DM calls hiten and asks him abt some business file, which was lying with moulik. Hiten calls moulik for that file, moulik tells that it is lying in him room cupboard. Hiten goes there and found the Original DNA report file when he was searching for the actual file. He get surprised by seeing the file which tells that Arjun is not DM son. he goes immediately to DM to tell the same that Arjan is not his son.

Next scene every body was there in living room. DM was so angry, arjan & khemi are so sad that they are not a part of mahiyavamshi. DM calls moulik and tell him to come back immediately, moulik got shocked and thinking why? he forgotten that he kept the file in the same cupboard

Hiten tells DM that he will go and get santu back from Nanaji's place. He got surprised when he didn't fidn her there. he will come back to home and tells every body that yday santu was not gone to her nanaji place. Every body got shocked and worried abt santu including Champu. bcz santu told her that she is going to her nanaji's place.

Next scene DM was so angry, sad. He had so many expressions on his face. then moulik and his parents enters into the mansion. No words to describe DM angry when he looks at moulik and moti. Hiten shows the file to him and asks abt it. Moulik tells that arjan asked him to do it all to take revenge on Hiten, as he had feeling that still Khemi & Hiten loves each other. Arjan & Khemi got shocked. Every body was so angry on them

Suddently some body calls to land line. Baa picks the call and know that Toral is on the line. Toral tells her that not to tell any body that she is on the call and she also tells that right now santu is with her. yday when Toral & Soumil bhai was coming back from some function they saw santu, who was trying to endup her life. they took her along with them to their home. santu told them that, if they are not going to tell DM family abt this then only she will come with them. then they accepted for that. morning toral convinced her by saying that baa & bapuji will be lost them selves when they come to know that she is not in nanaji place, as they treat her as their own daughter, so she will inform only to them that now santu is safe and she is with them and also tells her that now santu is pregnent. again she will ask baa not to tell any body abt this and hang up the phone. Baa got shocked and was unable to control herself. every body asks what happened. she tells, nothing and goes to their room followed by babuji.

Baa tells every thing to babuji, what exactly toral told her. they both decides that they will go back to their house by taking santu along with us. DM listens every thing when baa was telling to bapuji and get so much angry on his own behaviour with santu and goes to his room without saying anything to any body.

Next scence baa and bapuji was leaving the house. every body was asking them what happened. but they didn't tell any thing to any body. then suddenly DM starts telling every thing and he tells that even santu didn't informed him that abt her pregnency. she don't have faith on me that i can take care of her and her kid. so she left the house. now i lost baa and bapuji faith also, so they decided to go back to their house by taking their daugter along with them. Then Champu tells that it's not like that she don't have faith on u, she told that khemi is giving grand son/daughter to u so khemi staying in this house is more important than her staying. that was the reason she didn't revealed with any body. All the family members got shocked. Khemi felt very amberos after knowing santu thinking while leaving the house.

Please let me know your feelings after reading this, mean while will think about next story. What DM and other family members will do with Arjan, Khemi, Moti, Moulik and how they feel sorry for santu

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U, me and Hum! (updated page 7) - Page 4

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