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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

I am surprised with this new track. Nidhi is an urban girl and comes from a dysfunctional family. Before Nidhi came - creatives made it like Shiv Niketan is for rescued child brides - then how come Nidhi searched it and came to study there? There are minimum facilities and sometimes classes are held in open (when Pooja eloped with Mannu - she was studying in open ground) and when Nidhi fainted - it seems the assembly was for just one class. 😕

How come Nidhi stopped eating after knowing the divorce? She already knew about problems in her family and herself drinking alcohol when she came to this school. She is not a small child that she cannot understand the situation. And why ask the principal to do something to stop divorce between her parents? She should give her parents their own privacy - if she wanted to involve anybody - it should have been a family elder. And as expected (creatives believe in black and white always) - the mother seems to be rude and rigid while the father is good (he apologised readily).

How correct it is to show that a school principal should involve in family life of her students and try to become a marriage counselor? She did not even allowed parents to talk to their daughter in privacy. It looked odd as I myself was in hostel in college and the warden/teachers were never present when parents came even when any girl was sick and parents come to meet her.

What should parents do in similar situation? Should they just agree to their child's demand even if their marriage cannot be salvaged? Should they agree to involve school principal and allow her to play marriage counselor?

Edited by SPuja - 10 years ago

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1013962

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Posted: 10 years ago

school principal gets involved in such situation particularly when it is custody issue.
and the principal has to take care of child emotion issue as well.
We have two cars where parents give up to kids and compromise because of child.
And in cases they get divorced they stay as good parents
So.the track is not bad.

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tanvismile

@tanvismile

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 10 years ago

nidhi needs someone to talk and support her emotionally, the support she finds it in Anandi. Anandi may try to get in it only for nidhi. Nothing wrong...

but cvs shouldn't have portrayed nidhi s mom negative...

I agree with you and I was equally shocked to see, nidhi daughter of doctor /bussinesmen studying in shiv niketan...
it's a blooper... isn't thus school suppose to be for villagers and victims of bv...

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Nidhi just wanted to get away from oppressive atmosphere at home.

She always wanted to make a point to her parents by showing them how fed up she is with their materialistic ways.

Anandi didn't want to take her when she saw that her mother was not keen and the girl is bent on joining but then she saw the girl was serious about wanting something different from the kind of life that her parents are providing her and also the fact that the girl was smart and focused and she seemed to know what she wanted to do.

As for classes being held in the open air don't know why people assume that only in schools without proper buildings that class rooms are held in open air.

I don't know about others but our school was one of the biggest schools with all the infra structure that was available in India at that time.But we still used to have classes held in open air under the trees at our request.Cleaning up the classrooms and the campus was the responsibility of the students in the school where we studied. Even though it was meant for girls from under privileged sections of the society we had lot of girls from middle and higher class society too

Anandi's school was termed as Gurukul. Gurukuls practice austerity.So obviously the facilities will be kept to bare minimum.

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Students do turn to teachaers for emotional support at times

She was upset with her parents and wants her family back in one piece.She is thinking from her perspective. She just needed someone to talk to.

Even before all this Nidhi and Anandi had a talk at that time the girl was angry with her parents.

As for Anandi interfering -the girl asked her for her help and she said yes.

Edited by aparnauma - 10 years ago

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

It is not about Anandi interfering - what I said was to give privacy to parents and student to discuss their matter. Anandi could have left them alone and discussed the matter with parents in her office.

Another point is about member's views regarding divorce of parents and rights of children - based on the track but about what should be done by parents in real life. If they have reached irretrievable breakdown of marriage stage -a valid ground for divorce - should parents just agree to live together for the sake of children? Nidhi is a teenage girl - soon she will be adult, employed and perhaps married and leave the parents anyway. How and why she can EB her parents in their marital matters and involve her school principal who is not aware of their background and does not have expertise in marriage counselling. What creatives want to say with this track?

I am myself a mother of two teenage boys - so quite old and old fashioned beliefs. But two cases of divorce of my colleagues opened my eyes to a different reality. In fact their children are now happy that the constant trouble at home ceased. And there is this another acquaintance - she is suffering from domestic violence for long, is employed but still scared of going for divorce (perhaps she may be thinking that it is good for her children, but children do suffer in this atmosphere). What should she do? Even when I asked in Mangala's case as to where she should run - it was about women like this lady. She does not feel safe to be living as a divorcee - even neighbours see divorcee women with suspicion and she is subjected to unwelcome overtures.

Why do serials take up such an issue and then provide a very lame solution. In this track - most probably Anandi will make the mother see where she is going wrong and in the end all will be well. What if both mother and father are not wrong, but not suitable for each- other either? Should they continue to suffer just because their daughter wants them to be together? Should not the daughter herself needs counselling also, why should she enforce her will over her parent's life?

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

She should have moved away from there. But she didn't.

I think it occurred to her belatedly that she is intruding on father and daughter and she moved away from there.

During the mother's visit - I think she was about to move away from there but then she heard the way that lady was talking and interfered then.

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I guess the idea was to give her an insight into what's happening in that family.

They could have come up with a better scene though instead of making her over hear the conversations between mother and daughter and father and daughter.

Rights of children and Rights of parents

Nidhi is only thinking about herself at this point and the problems between her parents how thye are affecting her.It is quite obvious that both parents love her and she loves them very much and she wants them to stay on in the marriage. Teens can be self centred too.

I've seen so many broken marriages from my childhood days.I've seen some of my family members and family friends' children growing up in unhappy homes.

Children always are forced to take sides.Either side with mother or father.It is really sad.To escape from this situation one of the kids ran away when she was just 18 and married somebody.

There was this very educated lady who actually took up a job when her husband furthered his education.She supported his education financially as well as took care of the family. But down the line marriage soured and husband used to seek pleasures elsewhere because he was not satisfied come home drunk shout at wife children suffered because of all these and asked their mother to move out but she said she was scared to move out with girls. This is an educated woman.

So what stopped her from moving out?It is her own fear.

They are still together but the children can't bear the father.

It is not like the father didn't provide for them.Thye all are well placed in the society.He would have continued to support them even if they seperated.

So the lady's miserable life was a result of her own fears and not because she was helpless.

It is not illiteracy or lack of financial independence that makes women put up with bad marriages it is their own inner strength or lack of it that makes them put up bad marriages.

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Nidhi needs to be made to understand that if her parents can't stay together despite loving her it is because of the problems between them and not problems with her.Right now she is asking them to prove their love for her by staying on in a marriage.

Don't know whether Anandi be successful in helping them saving their marriage.Husband seemed to have made a lot of effort to save the marriage by changing his career etc.

Anandi has her own experience in broken marriage where she tried to change herself to be an ideal beendini and bahu but it didn't help in saving her marriage.

Sanchi tried to/pretended to change herself to suit someone else's preferences - that didn't do her any good.

So we don't really know where this marriage is headed to.

Looks like the parents are angry with each other rather than being indifferent to each other so it does look like the marriage can be saved at this point.

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Puja, real life divorce cases cannot be generalised and has to be dealt on case to case basis. There are no rules to say who can be involved and who cannot. There is no reason why a teenager would be wrong in wanting her parents to re-unite, even if one day she is going to move out of her parents' house.

Nidhi wants her parents to re-unite, and she thinks that if she took Anandi's help, matters will resolve faster. Nothing wrong with that. Neither can we blame Annadi for intervening because she was asked for it. Just as lot of time Sandhya teacher would step into Anandi's personal life to help her out (for right reasons ofcourse), this time Anandi as a teacher / principal has been approached by her student.

How will Anant-Anushka take this involvement is up to them and based on that, A can decide whether she wants to dwell further, step out or make Nidhi see things from a different perspective. Anushka has already told her off, let's see what happens next. But can't really blame Anandi at this point. Neither can Anant-Anushka marriage / divorce generalise real life cases.

Coming to your other question of why Nidhi landed in SN particularly, is a surprise to me too. From what has been shown of SN so far (and I admit I haven't watched all episodes), SN looks like a school aimed for giving education and basic necessities to under privileged girls (i.e. rescued BVs or girls from lower income backgrounds). The main aim of SN is to ensure that girls are not deprived of basic necessities, education, basic lifestyle and most importantly their childhood. I don't think girls in here come for making a career or for high end self-development activities. So why exactly has Nidhi landed here? She is a daughter of a rich Doctor / Businessman who can go into any renowned boarding school to make her career as well as to stay away from the issues at home. Why SN?

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Missesha
Puja, real life divorce cases cannot be generalised and has to be dealt on case to case basis. There are no rules to say who can be involved and who cannot. There is no reason why a teenager would be wrong in wanting her parents to re-unite, even if one day she is going to move out of her parents' house.

Nidhi wants her parents to re-unite, and she thinks that if she took Anandi's help, matters will resolve faster. Nothing wrong with that. Neither can we blame Annadi for intervening because she was asked for it. Just as lot of time Sandhya teacher would step into Anandi's personal life to help her out (for right reasons ofcourse), this time Anandi as a teacher / principal has been approached by her student.

How will Anant-Anushka take this involvement is up to them and based on that, A can decide whether she wants to dwell further, step out or make Nidhi see things from a different perspective. Anushka has already told her off, let's see what happens next. But can't really blame Anandi at this point. Neither can Anant-Anushka marriage / divorce generalise real life cases.

Coming to your other question of why Nidhi landed in SN particularly, is a surprise to me too. From what has been shown of SN so far (and I admit I haven't watched all episodes), SN looks like a school aimed for giving education and basic necessities to under privileged girls (i.e. rescued BVs or girls from lower income backgrounds). The main aim of SN is to ensure that girls are not deprived of basic necessities, education, basic lifestyle and most importantly their childhood. I don't think girls in here come for making a career or for high end self-development activities. So why exactly has Nidhi landed here? She is a daughter of a rich Doctor / Businessman who can go into any renowned boarding school to make her career as well as to stay away from the issues at home. Why SN?

I agree with most of the points.

Nidhi is not wrong if she wants to see her parents united.

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Coming to the school itself - I myself studied in a school which was meant for girls from under privileged sections of the society.

It catered to kids from urban slums.

Quite few of the kids who I went to school with are children of domestic helps daily wage labourers small business owners.

My mother was the pricipal of the school. She never thought of admitting us there.But it was my father who decided that if the school is good for other kids then it should be good for us too.

Not just my father but a lot of parents who came from educated background put their kids in the school we were studying.

The only drawback we faced in studying in that school was that we couldn't get into any mischief because all thanks to the principal of the school.It was a private management school which was started to empower girls.

The end products of the school we studied were as good as the kids who were educated in those costly private schools.

The school had good infra structure and well trained teachers.The teachers were paid by the government so it is absolutely necessary that they fulfill the criteria meant for teachers.

Anandi's school must be getting govt support too because such schools are supported by government. It is not necessary that administrator of the school be armed with a degree in education.But teachers have to fulfill the criteria in order to get govt aid.

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Nidhi did a lot of search and came liked what Anandi is doing with her school.She wanted it for herself.

Her joining that school was also a sign of rebellion against her parents.

Except that this rebellion was channelized into something positive.

She didn;t want to take her in but she saw the girl was bright and had a lot of anger and frustration bottled up inside her and that's why she gave that girl a chance.

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Missesha
Puja, real life divorce cases cannot be generalised and has to be dealt on case to case basis. There are no rules to say who can be involved and who cannot. There is no reason why a teenager would be wrong in wanting her parents to re-unite, even if one day she is going to move out of her parents' house.

Nidhi wants her parents to re-unite, and she thinks that if she took Anandi's help, matters will resolve faster. Nothing wrong with that. Neither can we blame Annadi for intervening because she was asked for it. Just as lot of time Sandhya teacher would step into Anandi's personal life to help her out (for right reasons ofcourse), this time Anandi as a teacher / principal has been approached by her student.

How will Anant-Anushka take this involvement is up to them and based on that, A can decide whether she wants to dwell further, step out or make Nidhi see things from a different perspective. Anushka has already told her off, let's see what happens next. But can't really blame Anandi at this point. Neither can Anant-Anushka marriage / divorce generalise real life cases.

Coming to your other question of why Nidhi landed in SN particularly, is a surprise to me too. From what has been shown of SN so far (and I admit I haven't watched all episodes), SN looks like a school aimed for giving education and basic necessities to under privileged girls (i.e. rescued BVs or girls from lower income backgrounds). The main aim of SN is to ensure that girls are not deprived of basic necessities, education, basic lifestyle and most importantly their childhood. I don't think girls in here come for making a career or for high end self-development activities. So why exactly has Nidhi landed here? She is a daughter of a rich Doctor / Businessman who can go into any renowned boarding school to make her career as well as to stay away from the issues at home. Why SN?

I did not blame Anandi for interfering - I just said that she should have given privacy to parents to talk to their daughter. Don't take it like I am criticising Anandi here for interfering in Nidhi's personal life.

I thought Anandi will talk to parents in privacy of her office - if she wants to help Nidhi - she should know the basic details of differences between parents and for this she has to talk to them separately and also both of them together. And if still she sees that there are serious problems - she should advice them to go to proper counselling. And she needs to talk to Nidhi also to make her understand that not always we can get what we want. I know my reaction is premature - the track is yet to be unfolded. Still looking at set pattern of the serial - I could not stop posting this because the case of that lady - suffering and not yet trying divorce remains in my mind.

@bold - creatives should have made this coming to SN something different - something believable.

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#10

Aparna, I am not driving at a point to say that if one belongs to upper class they must study in private schools and if one belongs to unprivileged class they should study in schools that largely provide basic necessities only.

But what I am saying is that If I had access to upgrade my skills and develop myself into high end careers or self-development activities, I will choose institutions that will give me easier access to those stuff than to study in an institute that just provides basics. The world is a very competitive place and if I can get an edge over others than I would want to use that benefit. After all everyone wants to progress in life. (Again I am not saying that those who have just gone with basics in life cannot outshine in competition). Finally it comes down to how much do you have in you'.

But Nidhi's track looks unconvincing to me only because her personality and expectations look very different from SN can offer her.

Or let's put it this way - CVS need to show us what SN offers in better details to makes Nidhi's decision look convincing. It appears that she did lot of research, but what exactly did her research tell her to make her chose SN over other institutes. What exactly does SN offer her (for her needs) that other schools cannot offer?

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