Should JaAn cut off from each other?

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

I don't know what whip or society we're talking of. I mean, if JaAn were so attached to each other then why did Jagya leave Anandi for Gauri?

I don't think we can use words like "umblical cord" for JaAn relationship. They are not siblings, mother-child or just childhood playmates and friends. They've been husband and wife. Their first experience with marriage, physical relations etc. are with each other.

How can they be compared to other relations then? (Friends, umblical cord...whatever!)

How can they truly move on in life?

Even if their intentions are pure, still they can't escape MUs and blames from others.

And I don't know how this goes against practice of bal vivah too then. If persons have such understanding and attachment with each other - then why not go in for child marriage only? Just that girl and boy can be kept away from physical relations till they turn adults. Rest, they can grow up together, study together, play together - all is well!

Hasn't Lal Singh's child marriage proven a success too? 😆

Quote

angelic8219

@angelic8219

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: Skepblun
I don't know what whip or society we're talking of. I mean, if JaAn were so attached to each other then why did Jagya leave Anandi for Gauri?

I don't think we can use words like "umblical cord" for JaAn relationship. They are not siblings, mother-child or just childhood playmates and friends. They've been husband and wife. Their first experience with marriage, physical relations etc. are with each other.

How can they be compared to other relations then? (Friends, umblical cord...whatever!)

How can they truly move on in life?

Even if their intentions are pure, still they can't escape MUs and blames from others.

And I don't know how this goes against practice of bal vivah too then. If persons have such understanding and attachment with each other - then why not go in for child marriage only? Just that girl and boy can be kept away from physical relations till they turn adults. Rest, they can grow up together, study together, play together - all is well!

Hasn't Lal Singh's child marriage proven a success too? 😆

Depends on the type of person, lal Singh was never ashamed of his wife and never belittled her and his wife was always with him.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Dr.Fear

@Dr.Fear

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Yeah i think they should cut off as being only friends created such a hue

and cry and it will be better for both the families as well as JaAn .

Just My POV

Quote

seetha74

@seetha74

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

There are so many points to define a relationship and so many trigger points to wreck a relationship too !

In this case Jagya and Anandi --their relationship is not the main cause of this trouble !

Elders and Sanchi are the decision makers here.. without the consent of Anandi --- and situations created by Sanchi which lead to this break up...Anandi belongs to both families...if there is a trigger point between them ...it will automatically affect her most !

Dragging her in to this fiasco is--purely for Sanchi's sadistic pleasure !

There is no Sanchi type character in Lalsingh's life ..that's why he is happy in his life with his wife !

Quote

Jan50

@Jan50

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

As individuals J and A can be well wishers of each other. They are not enemies. Just distancing

Them selves will help each other move on with out embarassing situations. Divorce is a new

Concept in Hindu society. Specially for villagers. It takes some time for society to adjust to this

New concept. DS and Sumitra are so secluded from the world that they dont understand the

Precarious position they are putting J and A.parents of one the couples becomes maika of the other.

Which is also very strange. It is better if Kazaan becomes the maika as it should be for future.

Jagia is there to stay. He can not disappear from BH when A visits there. He has to live

With his parents. They need him.

Quote

seetha74

@seetha74

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: Jan50
As individuals J and A can be well wishers of each other. They are not enemies. Just distancing
Them selves will help each other move on with out embarassing situations. Divorce is a new
Concept in Hindu society. Specially for villagers. It takes some time for society to adjust to this
New concept. DS and Sumitra are so secluded from the world that they dont understand the
Precarious position they are putting J and A.parents of one the couples becomes maika of the other.
Which is also very strange. It is better if Kazaan becomes the maika as it should be for future.
Jagia is there to stay. He can not disappear from BH when A visits there. He has to live
With his parents. They need him.

I fully agree with you and skep ----the various aspects of the vagaries of their relationship ... based on elders' support and Shiv's understanding...is it not possible to maintain their friendship...in a healthy manner ??Set norms are there ...but is it not possible to re-write the new type of relationship in human-family -history in our Indian society ?

In western culture there is no such embarrassment or awkwardness in meeting or maintaining cordial relations with ex !

I came from a village and am very much aware of all these restrictions and rigidities !

But there is always exceptional cases !--beyond the perception of common people !

As skep rightly said ...they are not only childhood friends ...they shared an intense relationship in their adulthood also !

If it is possible for westerners why is it not possible here?--NO ...I am not saying this for arguments' sake !

For any normal person it is absurd as you rightly said ... then why is it not possible to put them in a different pedestal ?--a position in which they are uncritically admired ??

Am I thinking differently or foolishly ? this question is nagging me since some time !DONT simply say ..go to hell to me !!😕😃😲

Edited by SEETHA.K - 11 years ago

Quote

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

@Seetha

This is not just about Sanchi. Didn't Jagya leave Anandi for Gauri? LS also went to college yet never got awayed.

Things like "new kind" of relationships are at least not going to happen in places like Rajasthan anytime soon!

@Jan50

I don't think concept of divorce is new now. It has been around since late 70s or so.

Shouldn't Sumitra and DS use basic brain?

Even as they see in front of their eyes how inter-mingling of JaAn is causing problems and awkwardness in lives of both, still they don't use brain?

Of course Jagya is not going anywhere. But they should have had sense not to send him to Anandi's sasra with gifts! He's not her brother, uncle or father figure or jeth/devar or servant of Singhs' house to be sent to deliver gifts to her house!

And what in the world is ex wife being pressurised to convince ex husband for remarriage?!! DS would call up late at night forgetting Anandi was newly married and it was not advisable to call her at such an hour?

Sumitra barks "Anandi ka sasra" excuse but she is not conscious of what "sasra" means! She'll call Anandi anytime, rant, bark without bothering how it will affect her.
Does she call up Sugna anytime? Did she herself ever interact this much with her natal family? Then? What's her problem?

Don't Sumitra and DS know Jagya well? Can't they handle him? Didn't they handle him earlier? Even for 12 years before Anandi entered his life? Why do they need to consult Anandi on matters related to Jagya?

If they are so conservative then why don't they realise that involving ex wife is not right in matters related to ex husband?

What's Anandi and Jagya's relation now according to them? Anandi is beti. Jagya is beta. So? Are JaAn siblings now in their eyes? 😆

Quote

seetha74

@seetha74

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

The empty space between the thoughts is what spurs creativity !

Advising Anandi and Jagya to free themselves from their past and start living their lives... is an excellent idea for them -- so that they will be relieved themselves from this complex situations !

But they are sharing a unique relationship ,other than the husband and wife relation ...which is very strong and visible since their childhood ...why they have to distance themselves from each other .now ?

Because of social norms ?

I love the love saga of Anandi and Shiv ..and i wish them to be like that for ever !To be precise till date i never saw such a beautiful relationship..in any picture or any where ! A romantic relationship of a special kind... a beautiful version of love... passionate love..vivid and emotional ,intense and wonderful filled with excellent mutual appreciation !

Now Ganga entered in to Jagya's life ...and she will fill the void ..resulted from his past mistakes !

Except this Sanchi episode there is no threat of any sort to question their relationship for the time being !

Skep !Yes ...all your points are convincingly apt and correct ...--since long I am seriously thinking about this innovative [!!??!!] idea of Bv CV's ...and is it possible for a woman to continue her friendship with her ex ? Now i think we are not yet reached to that stage !Present day problems are enough for a woman to dislodge her perceptions towards life ...no need to add some more !!

Quote

aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#19

Should JaAn cut off from each other?Probably yes.

But is it possible given the equations they have with Singh family?Probably not.

So the onus lies on J and A themselves.

He still feels uncomfortable when He sees Anandi and Shiv together where as Anandi doesn't feel that way when she sees him with Ganga or for that matter Sanchi.

Anandi has completely moved on from Jagya. She doesn't see him as her husband any more.She just sees him as her childhood friend and has now come to a conclusion as they grew up they became lovers and got into a physical relationship as part of conditioning and it was passive acceptance of their relationship.She passively accepted him as her husband.She now realises that their relation was just an extension of their childhood friendship and that realisation happened with the help of Shiv.She now knows what a husband and wife relationship is all about and what marriage is all about.

She realised that the kind of relationship she and Jagya had is vastly different from the relationship she has with her husband.

She is also able to look back with out and pain or discomfort because she has no regrets about her past.She gave everything she had towards that relationship and yet it has failed.

On the other hand Jagya is still yet to find that partnership or companion.He declared his love for Ganga and Ganga also has accepted that she has feelings for him.But this has happened in the case of Jagya and Gauri relationship too.So time will tell whether Ganga will accept his attachment with Anandi and help him see the difference between that relationship and their relationship or not.So it is too early to say anything about Jagya Ganga relationship.

Jagya's case is more complicated because he carries burden of guilt from the past.At the back of his mind there will always be regrets about the way he handled things and the way he hurt Anandi. And also there is this constant comparison of his women with Anandi.The Singh Parivar does it and he too does it unconsciously most of the times.

Anandi has gotten over her Jagya phase completely but Jagya is yet to get over his Anandi phase till then they need to keep their interactions to a minimum.

Quote

akvats01

@akvats01

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#20

No need . they got married it was not their choice they got divorced itwas also not their choice . their rrelationship may not have a name. But truth is they always stand for each other now. You may at most call them best friends but their relation is more then that.. If some body have problem why should they cut their relation for pleasing the named relation like mother in law husband soil etc etc. While all of them are being selfish towards them at one point or other.

Jaan relationship have raised beyond name, lust, worldly boundations., expectations, its a pure relationship of support and care, why should one care what does divorce mean divorce after all a social facilitation like marriage nothing more then that.

They should live like they are today. Its the best relationship now in entire Bv. And I am very happy gangs understand this nature and aanadi also does not interfere in gangas realm. Shiv too know that but the way shiv is turning grey we can not predict for future. But a should not do this stupidness to leave this beautiful relationship for shivs insecurity if at SL shiv become insecure...

Quote

1 2 3

Should JaAn cut off from each other? - Page 2

Related Topics

Explore Topics