Conflicted about Anandi

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libsrocks

@libsrocks

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

at first even i had same complaints but after watching this episode i do not...

if we see anandi had moved on only in career/...she got education n became a sarpanch...she also tried to forget jagya but until shiv came there was no big reason strong enough for her to forget her past...when shiv confessed his love to her she accepted it n from then on she knew that she has finally got the reason to forget her past n now she has to give her best to do so...anandi is a divorcee n how much ever a family is open minded when it comes to there laadla they want the best...shekhar knew that anandi is extremely attached to singh but the way anandi is adjusting with shiv's family it shows that now she has accepted shekhars also as imp as singh n can give them the same love as she did to singhs...a divorcee has got more fingers pointing at her than a normal girl so she needs more efforts...anandi cares about shiv but she was not ready to for SR thing...balika vadhu is an indian show focussing on indian girls with conservative family...a traditional indian woman will allow person to touch her whom she loves...even in statstics given out by psychologists they show that women take intimacy a physical form of love and not only a pleasure...anandi needs time n then slowly she will start feeling for shiv also...u see how bad she felt when she knew she was hurting shiv by her actions n felt disgusted knowing that at one side shiv loves her so much n here she is not able to...she wants to be happy and she knows that she will find her true happiness in shiv that's why she chose shiv and lets not forget when shiv rejected her she had let go off shiv n not forced him to stay...she was just pointing out that shiv loves her n even she likes him n her company n nothing done on her was out of force (becoz that what shiv thought n cancelled the wedding)...she was just clearing out everyone's confusion n showed them that no one can take her for granted ( that scene was not there to show shiv n anandi's love but to show that anandi can be sacrificing but not weak)

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Sneha

@Snehabr

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Finallly someone spoke my mind...thank heavens!!
I had put similar thoughts on another post about the same topic.. Being a divorcee and settling down to start everything is not easy task...yes she is hung up on Jagiya...she needs some time to get over 18years of affection...
Nor that J reciprocated for all 18years...but she definitely was fully involved (not just physical intimacy...but emotioally)
You are right on about the statistics...sex is a part of marriage...but marriage is not all about sex only...
Thanks to CVs...Shiv's dialogues about marriage were the best..

Originally posted by: libsrocks
at first even i had same complaints but after watching this episode i do not...
if we see anandi had moved on only in career/...she got education n became a sarpanch...she also tried to forget jagya but until shiv came there was no big reason strong enough for her to forget her past...when shiv confessed his love to her she accepted it n from then on she knew that she has finally got the reason to forget her past n now she has to give her best to do so...anandi is a divorcee n how much ever a family is open minded when it comes to there laadla they want the best...shekhar knew that anandi is extremely attached to singh but the way anandi is adjusting with shiv's family it shows that now she has accepted shekhars also as imp as singh n can give them the same love as she did to singhs...a divorcee has got more fingers pointing at her than a normal girl so she needs more efforts...anandi cares about shiv but she was not ready to for SR thing...balika vadhu is an indian show focussing on indian girls with conservative family...a traditional indian woman will allow person to touch her whom she loves...even in statstics given out by psychologists they show that women take intimacy a physical form of love and not only a pleasure...anandi needs time n then slowly she will start feeling for shiv also...u see how bad she felt when she knew she was hurting shiv by her actions n felt disgusted knowing that at one side shiv loves her so much n here she is not able to...she wants to be happy and she knows that she will find her true happiness in shiv that's why she chose shiv and lets not forget when shiv rejected her she had let go off shiv n not forced him to stay...she was just pointing out that shiv loves her n even she likes him n her company n nothing done on her was out of force (becoz that what shiv thought n cancelled the wedding)...she was just clearing out everyone's confusion n showed them that no one can take her for granted ( that scene was not there to show shiv n anandi's love but to show that anandi can be sacrificing but not weak)

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srinivasrishi

@srinivasrishi

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

I'm posting my views which i made in other thread.

Time is the big healer.5-6 yrs is not a short period of time.If she really moved on as she said, those flashbacks with Jagya will not come up.Why not other things come into her mind Sumi,babusa,shyam...Why always love making scenes with Jagya???Didnt she know he married Gauri?? I personally feel with these FB's that Anandi still has some feelings for Jagya. I could somehow try and justify those flashbacks if she had a very good marital life with Jagya and her ex-husband died all of a sudden. This is not the case here.

Yesterday i watched the 1st half and honestly i hate Shiv's dialogues.--"Mein janta hun aap jagya ke place mein cannot accept anyone blah blah.." Did anyone force her into this relationship??Agreed coz of her dead mothers wish she accepted. But there were n number of situations where she could have given a thought of it(Shiv himself asked her to take her time ). Everything is going as per her wishes.I really hate hypocrisy.Always gives lectures but when its her turn she completely takes a U-turn. Iam tired of her lectures.

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Nach_Baliye

@Nach_Baliye

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: srinivasrishi

Yesterday i watched the 1st half and honestly i hate Shiv's dialogues.--"Mein janta hun aap jagya ke place mein cannot accept anyone blah blah.." Did anyone force her into this relationship??Agreed coz of her dead mothers wish she accepted. But there were n number of situations where she could have given a thought of it(Shiv himself asked her to take her time ). Everything is going as per her wishes.I really hate hypocrisy.Always gives lectures but when its her turn she completely takes a U-turn. Iam tired of her lectures.

ITA with you. Anandi made all these decisions, yet initially she snubbed Shiv and in front of everyone during engagement hesitated to give him her hand for the ring. She was also angry at him as if it was his fault, when it was her decision alone. That she was being forced into it was not Shiv's fault. I have found her severely lacking when it comes to Shiv, he is not her consideration or priority. Didn't she ever realize that he has his dreams? Didn't she stop to think even once? All along I have felt like its a one-sided relationship, and now Shiv is the martyr.

In general Anandi is shown as mahaan and sacrificing, and has NO boundaries. Like massaging Jagya's head and pretending to be his wife while Shiv is there, not giving regard to his feelings. She needs to have some boundaries. I don't blame Shiv because Anandi made these decisions and now she is withholding from him. Anandi, who goes about being mahaan, advising women to move on, stopping child marriages, etc. She herself is not able to incorporate what she preaches. While that is not abnormal, her behavior towards Shiv is one-sided and not normal. Any other guy wouldn't have tolerated it, but clearly Shiv likes being a doormat.

What is worse is that Dadisa is worried at Anandi's reaction at finding Jagya gone. WHY DOES ANANDI CARE? She herself makes NO attempt to move on by staying overly involved between Jagya and Singhs. She is like their daughter, but she has a history with Jagya, he is not her brother, she needs to let him sort out his own problems rather than be his mother.

The worst part is, there is ZERO chemistry between Shiv and Anandi. They had a lot of chemistry before, but with the entry of Jagya and Anandi's behavior towards him and Shiv (being Jagya's wife, etc.) Shiv and Anandi have lost their chemistry. Their relationship has been reduced to overly-mature and boring talks of this and that, and nothing more.

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shalluuu

@shalluuu

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

i am watchig bv these days to entertain me like comedy circus...coz its nothing more than comedy circus...

aandi is mahaan and her new husband ussey bhi zada mahaan...its like creatives can give anythig to audience and at last will say its "social message"

if touch me not i cant forget my past is social message than its better people dont accept the divorce girls...coz stronger person is one who can forget her past and look at future...

Edited by shalluuu - 13 years ago

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gun_k

@gun_k

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Visiting the forum after a long time and am glad to see this topic. I did stop watching BV and happened to catch yesterdays episode, it seemed that Anandi was forced into this marriage by the looks of her reaction. Unfortunately its a false portrayal of a remarriage as the second time around you are more mature and if you have so many misgivings about intimacy with your husband then you shouldnt have taken that decision to remarry in the first place. I doubt it that i will watch it again as it doesnt make sense anymore. I totally hate the preachy message at the end, it MAKES NO SENSE and tells the society don't let your son marry a divorcee or a widow.

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stuti..

@stuti..

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: Snehabr
Finallly someone spoke my mind...thank heavens!!
I had put similar thoughts on another post about the same topic.. Being a divorcee and settling down to start everything is not easy task...yes she is hung up on Jagiya...she needs some time to get over 18years of affection...
Nor that J reciprocated for all 18years...but she definitely was fully involved (not just physical intimacy...but emotioally)
You are right on about the statistics...sex is a part of marriage...but marriage is not all about sex only...
Thanks to CVs...Shiv's dialogues about marriage were the best..

Agree.

Aren't cvs tackling a logical 'hurdle'? Or how uncharacteristic it might have looked, if they'd have made her plunge agog at first lift? As often dashed here, in an impatient, clamouring fan tone, "why is she not falling for such a lovely, understanding dude, what is wrong with her?" Or by heavier notes; why is she not being fair and faithful to her present avowals- so unfair to a used up husband? Or even on an indicting( previous marriage) conclusions, " abused past- either a scorched self confidence, unworthiness or a 'deja vu' fear of losing again is preventing her progress! " This later deduction, though oft repeated, cant be more far fetched (from the facts shown),than both earlier observations put together. For what is she showed reminiscing? Abuses, insults, bitter rejection? Or happy memories? What are her fears? That she was or would be again abused badly? Or that, she won't be able to reciprocate in same 'honesty'- with a similar 'intensity' that she once felt?

The way she is, the bitter part, she discarded fast ajar. Had rebound in a largely preserved core and an undefeated spirit. Even worst abuses, like insensitive Gauri's vulgar flaunt in her own house, or cad Jagya's delusory charges, she treated with deserved contempt. Bemoaned in first shock, but dispatched as nonsense in due course. They can't be a hurdle for her present impediment.

The part that she is finding most difficult to jettison happens those happy moments. Much as support for current pairing may wish that it never was- some went so far as speculating that she never consummated- the fact, as was showed, were the scenes where she was intensely in. With typical sincerity, faith and trust. The question is, having once showed such involvement, how Cvs could show her trotting along a new relationship with no reference to earlier one? That would be so atypical in her sketch. Then, being a sharp person, she would be able to nullify those memories, in recall of the same real, demeaning abuses (which in stead, were insinuated her 'shackle') as her rationale towards futility of the earlier one, as well, her fair disposition towards her husband, whose genuineness would make her plunge afresh, eventually. Remember, here in Bv it was hardly second day (or night), and she is tackling sweeter ghosts not the dark ones.

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Uma

@adi2512

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: stuti..

Agree.
Aren't cvs tackling a logical 'hurdle'? Or how uncharacteristic it might have looked, if they'd have made her plunge agog at first lift? As often dashed here, in an impatient, clamouring fan tone, "why is she not falling for such a lovely, understanding dude, what is wrong with her?" Or by heavier notes; why is she not being fair and faithful to her present avowals- so unfair to a used up husband? Or even on an indicting( previous marriage) conclusions, " abused past- either a scorched self confidence, unworthiness or a 'deja vu' fear of losing again is preventing her progress! " This later deduction, though oft repeated, cant be more far fetched (from the facts shown),than both earlier observations put together. For what is she showed reminiscing? Abuses, insults, bitter rejection? Or happy memories? What are her fears? That she was or would be again abused badly? Or that, she won't be able to reciprocate in same 'honesty'- with a similar 'intensity' that she once felt?
The way she is, the bitter part, she discarded fast ajar. Had rebound in a largely preserved core and an undefeated spirit. Even worst abuses, like insensitive Gauri's vulgar flaunt in her own house, or cad Jagya's delusory charges, she treated with deserved contempt. Bemoaned in first shock, but dispatched as nonsense in due course. They can't be a hurdle for her present impediment.
The part that she is finding most difficult to jettison happens those happy moments. Much as support for current pairing may wish that it never was- some went so far as speculating that she never consummated- the fact, as was showed, were the scenes where she was intensely in. With typical sincerity, faith and trust. The question is, having once showed such involvement, how Cvs could show her trotting along a new relationship with no reference to earlier one? That would be so atypical in her sketch. Then, being a sharp person, she would be able to nullify those memories, in recall of the same real, demeaning abuses (which in stead, were insinuated her 'shackle') as her rationale towards futility of the earlier one, as well, her fair disposition towards her husband, whose genuineness would make her plunge afresh, eventually. Remember, here in Bv it was hardly second day (or night), and she is tackling sweeter ghosts not the dark ones.

Stuti.,

Awesome...

Those are Exactly my thoughts...

and your words are powerful enough to give a defined meaning to my thoughts.

Anandi., when she was in Love with J...Invested FULLY in him., both physically and mentally.

Now., She has reached a stage., where she could invest in her new life partner on a mental plane...But on the front of physical investment., she is still not there...which aspect is much more difficult for a woman who is ruled by emotions.

The moments she spent with J., were ones she had cherished...and decided that she will cherish those all her life...

So., doing away with them., in just 2 days of her re marraige is indeed a herculean task.

This will take time., and Shiv just needs to u/stand this., which he had already done.

She is a duty bound woman., who has immense respect for Shiv and his feelings.

She will definitely try her best with an un wavering spirit to put those memories aside to give Shiv his share of happiness., besides., she finding the desired Happiness with Shiv.

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stuti..

@stuti..

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

Adi,

You are far better in articulating and imagining Anandi's future, and somewhat along the lines that I too wished for her. Trouble with me is a want of connect, which I am yet to feel so far...would specify my reasons later somewhere at more topical a thread...so presently I would see her future in your defines. Ty.

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brick_red

@brick_red

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

Actually it is Anandi's memories of Jagya, that irritates me. If I don't think of her JAAN memories, A's behavior looks OK to me. She is doing everything for her marriage, except getting physically close with Shiv. She is stressed and tensed about it. She even apologizes to Shiv. It is not as if, she is denying him for months. They are married for only 3 days. So it is ok. It is not a big deal. If the situation does not improve in future, it will be a problem.

But Jagya flashbacks boils my blood. 😡 He used and threw A away. I wish to see A's revenge in the form of ANSH romance. That is my wish.. But Anandi is not to take revenge. She will fall for Shiv when she truly desires him.

It is an individual choice how soon to get intimate. Forcing is not acceptable, however withholding affection is also not good. As long as, both parties are fine with whatever arrangement they have, I think there is nothing to get alarmed.

I wish Anandi takes solid steps. I want Anandi to be in control of her life. If she has worries, she should address it, with Shiv's help.