Is Bal Vivah really to blame?

After seeing yesterday's episode where Dadisa is repentant of getting Jagya and Anandi married in childhood made me wonder if Bal Vivah is really the issue here. I agree BV is about child marriage, so that is always at the center, but falling for someone else or adultery has always been part of this world, isn't it?

Child marriage should not happen. Period. DS and her family are guilty of this crime, but that is not the only reason why J left A. I would place the blame on J's upbringing than the child marriage. J was pampered and was never punished enough for his mistakes. He grew up thinking he was the king of the world and nothing would stop him. His attitude continues and he thinks all the girls are waiting to 'gain him'. He still thinks Anandi will want him back. If J was set right as a child, he would respect his family and Anandi and the relatively easy life he has had.

jagya a prodigal man who blamed bv for his infidel relations ,such adultered people use some weapons to hide their sins ,he never cared what will go to anandi in counter just pain ,only telling that i did wrong to her is not enough but yeah ds and bhairon r taking blame on their part n want to kindle her life but jagya he just came to haveli n showed that how much pathetic he is for others but most aware for self feelings , i want anandi to move aheadn nkick this man hard for blaming bv

anandi is also blaming bal vivah and dadisa too...so may b its the reason ..coz real life stared when we move to college and we are grown up and thats hapen in anandi case...

Parents cannot be held responsible for the bad behavior of their children as adults. Yes Jagya was pampered as a child but not to the extent that he could not distinguish between right and wrong. Remember Jagya changed during the five years he was away from home.

Unfortunately he changed for the worse. He became more confident and learned the ways of the city. He also lost all the sanskar they had instilled in him and chose to keep his arrogance, his stubborn nature and his crappy attitude. 🤢 I sincerely believe that once you are an adult you cannot blame your parents for your shortcomings. If you need to improve because you were spoilt, you change yourself to succeed. It is called self improvement.

Jagya chose this path. Also what in his upbringing prepared him to think adultery is ok? Nothing did. His moral compass got skewed in the five years away from home leading him to think this was ok. He was fine with Anandi as his wife before he went to the city. But those 5 years changed his outlook and he became someone who wanted a modern wife. Unfortunately he did not realize that his modern wife is modern only in dressing but her thinking is very backward, whereas he traditional soon to be ex-wife is a very forward thinker. 😆 😆 😆

I agree with you that bal vivah can only be held as the culprit if they had shown anandi and jagya growing up together, and then living together under one roof in the haveli ... and growing incompatibility on several issues that made it crystal clear to them that they were not fit companions for each other ... but the CVs did not show this incompatibility at all...

Parents cannot be held responsible for the bad behavior of their children as adults. [/Quote]

It is also true that the moral values we learn as children lasts till our old age. The best example is Jagya. He was always given everything without even being asked for. He never understood the value of money. I still remember being shocked at him asking for 200Rs. to give party to his kids. He was what, a class 5 student? He already starting thinking himself as being superior to others. He was punished for cheating or faking mark sheets, but he was never corrected in his head about how he is not above others just because he is in a Haveli. This continues in his present days where he thinks he will get whatever he wants in his life. That is why he can't work in a hospital which is filthy because it is inferior to him.


[Quote] Also what in his upbringing prepared him to think adultery is ok? [/Quote]

It is not about adultery. It is about 'I see a girl, I like her, I want her and who cares if I am married already?' He never once thought about his responsibilities towards his family, elders and his wife. He doesn't have a self conscience or integrity to look deep to see what mistakes he is doing. Continuing further, it is the same attitude which made him ask for his property rights. Did his parents teach him it is ok? No, but his never corrected attitude of his childhood is what is making him do such shameful acts.

Jagya is like that kid who if you tell him something is not for him, he wants it more than anything else. Getting a job at SNG was so important for him because Gauri was there and it was denied to him. But, how much did he value it, once he got it?

Originally posted by: tinoo

That being said, from the current perspective, dadisa feels that anandi has earned an unnecessary divorcee tag at age 23 for no fault of hers ... which definitely puts her at an emotional disadvantage and a disadvantage for finding a proper life partner ... and this disadvantage is solely because she was married to begin with. Hence she blames herself for making an action which she could not 'nibhao'.

I agree completely. Anandi is suffering for no fault of hers. If she wasn't married as a child, she wouldn't be a divorcee now.

Bal Vivah is partially responsible, but not completely. In one of the episodes, DS did say 'apna hi sikka khota nikla' where he blamed J for the whole mess, but now the focus is completely on Bal Vivah.

yes bv is to be blamed coz simply u cant expect every kid to grow up and honor the vows ( they ddnt understand) , for them it is carzy binding and sufforcating!! in this issue bv is to blame ofr a totatlly, she was a smart ambitous girl she cld have gone al ong way had she nto marred j, she cld have gone a long way had she been allowed ot study after she came 1st in rajastan too but then also it was stopped !!

Originally posted by: tinoo

I agree with you that bal vivah can only be held as the culprit if they had shown anandi and jagya growing up together, and then living together under one roof in the haveli ... and growing incompatibility on several issues that made it crystal clear to them that they were not fit companions for each other ... but the CVs did not show this incompatibility at all...

so definitely the problem lies with adult jagya's own character ... I dont fault him for being attracted to gauri and wanting to marry her as an adult choice ... but hiding this from anandi and his family was a character defect on his part that has nothing to do with bal vivah...

That being said, from the current perspective, dadisa feels that anandi has earned an unnecessary divorcee tag at age 23 for no fault of hers ... which definitely puts her at an emotional disadvantage and a disadvantage for finding a proper life partner ... and this disadvantage is solely because she was married to begin with. Hence she blames herself for making an action which she could not 'nibhao'.

@ bold: spot on Tinoo! Right 👏

Originally posted by: leo4ever

j pretends it is of bv fault but in reality he was pretty happy here, he is bascially a weak soul, no character!! went ot shert got complexed xhanged his name, he was insecure hence he tried to find fault in his village thnknig himself to be too cool, comaprsion started and he went towards modernism , instead of teaching realsing that his wife was not that way coz of his ego, his biggest crimeHE CHEATED 2GALS FOR 5YRS!!!! then he came and dropped a like a hot patato!! the cruelty the arrograne is there it is not coz of bv it is coz off ds!!!

You said it better than me. Now J has married G in his adulthood which his is own decision. There is a possibility that he will go to Bangalore and find a girl in mini-skirt and find Gauri 'gawar'. J-A split is not only because of Bal Vivah, but mostly because of J's arrogance and carelessness.