Originally posted by: tinoo
Woman11 -- I agree that Points # 1-4 were decisions that were forced upon anandi...
with the rest of your points I am in severe disagreement ... I believe that at each and every point after #5 from #5-9 -- anandi had the choice to decide what she wanted to do ... but still willingly fell in line with dadisa's decisions -- which means that in effect, it WAS her decision to take that action... she had choices but the choice she chose was the one in alignment with dadisa's or bhairon's.
#5 -- yes bhairon wanted to make anandi a doctor and did not ask her permission -- but anandi went along with the doctor idea not because she was being forced into it -- but because she herself had no crystal clear idea what she wanted to do with her life. The day the thought crystallized in her mind that she wanted to do social service, she told bapusa -- so I feel that even if bapusa asked her prior to that crystallization -- she would willingly have gone ahead with the doctor idea because she had no orientation of her own. Its not like she was nursing a secret ambition to be a social worker which bapusa over-rode.
#6 -- gauri decided to dictate to anandi that she should not become a doctor -- gauri did not dictate anything of the sort -- all she told anandi was "mai jaanti hoo tum doctor kyun banna chahti ho -- jagat ko paane ke liye" -- she was just telling anandi dont think that even if you become a doctor you will get jagat back -- she was not telling anandi not to become a doctor -- and even if gauri said something to anandi -- that cannot be translated into saying that gauri was imposing her own decision on to anandi. Gauri had no such power.
And yes gauri decided when to use anandi for her own benefit ... but I disagree that anandi had no say or was just a puppet being guided by gauri the puppet master ... anandi was under no compulsion to play into gauri's hands... the family never forced her to do so, and gauri had no power to force her -- anandi did it willingly. Nobody stopped anandi from taking a dignified approach and distancing herself from gauri or gauri's tantrums. It was anandi's own lack of self-respect that made her actively decide to play into gauri's hands. ... so here too, it was anandi's decision
# 7. Same as above -- anandi wilfully decided to put herself in a situation where Jagat could misuse her... by repeatedly calling him, repeatedly poking that giant nose of hers into his and gauri's life... who asked her to do that? even his own family was not getting involved with J-G and they never put any force on her to interact with Jagat... If anandi, knowing fully well what his character was, still decided to go ahead with interacting with jagat ... then it was anandi's own decision to be at the receiving end of jagat's nastiness. Once again a dignified approach of keeping her distance was completely in her hands but she chose to ignore it and BASED ON HER OWN DECISION decided to enter into a relationship with cheater husband jagat.
#8. The villagers did not decide she should be sarpanch, they expressed a desire that she should be sarpanch based on her abilities and work she had done to date . BUT THE DECISION TO STAND FOR ELECTIONS WAS HERS AND HERS ALONE -- one she made in response to a challenge from heth singh who came into her living room and told her not to enter elections.
Anandi participated in an election of her own volition.
The way you are representing it is as if she was coerced by the villagers into accepting the sarpanch position against her will. This is not correct. Even if the villagers suggested it, IT WAS ANANDI'S DECISION to go through with it.
#9 Badi masi did not decide that Anandi should be jagya's beendhni ... Badi masi was under the impression that anandi is already Jagya's beendhni ... she had no idea about gauri being in the picture ... and yes dadisa requested anandi to play the role ... but once again, if anandi really really wanted to, she could have refused... IT WAS ANANDI'S DECISION to play the role of jagya's beendhni for badi maasis benefit ... now one may argue that what choice did she have? If she wants to stay at the haveli, she has to go through this trauma... but anandi does have choices if she feels it is humiliating ... she can leave the haveli and say "no i dont want to play the role of jagya's beendhni, tell her the truth that jagya has left me" ... but she didnt exercise this option and instead chose to go in line with dadisa's request ... that still makes it ANANDI'S OWN DECISION
# 10. Dadisa decided that anandi should get a divorce ... now this I dont understand ...
if you see this as not anandi's decision because dadisa initiated the divorce (and not anandi herself) , does it mean that it was anandi's own decision to remain forever married to jagya carrying the tag of his legal abandoned wife? Is that what anandi would have chosen/decided for herself? 🤢🤢 . If anandi had problems with this divorce, she could have protested then and there and fought with the singhs to remain married to jagya (just like she is fighting not to marry shiv)... so i feel that even if dadisa decided on a divorce, the decision to file for it and sign on the papers was anandi's OWN DECISION. It was not forced upon her by dadisa ... there was no way anybody can forcefully take her hand and move it over the paper to have her signature ... she could have taken a stand that she only wants to remain married to jagya regardless of whether there is any life in the relationship or not... so the divorce too, regardless of who initiated it was her own decision.
# 11. Yes, dadisa decided that anandi should get married -- not anandi's own decision -- but dadisa was not going to force it on anandi -- she couldnt. infact , she was going to finesse it over with time, and if ashi had not been a catalyst in early revelation -- she would have discussed it with anandi in a two-way fashion, taking into account all of anandi's doubts and fears.
#12. shiv and dadisa did not broker a deal about her marriage -- they were only in preliminary talks -- and neither one had taken anandi's yes for granted -- both knew that she had to be prepared for it and consulted first -- they were only sorting out their own sides first, their own ducks needed to be in a row before consulting anandi. Eventually, it would have been anandi's own decision -- shiv would not have forced himself on her or abducted her and forced her to marry him at gunpoint -- and dadisa and bhairon too would not have forced shiv on her --
I am all for anandi deciding for herself about her remarriage to shiv or the future course of her career -- but to portray anandi as a person who has been oppressed and forced into several situations where her own voice has been snuffed out is not correct. She HAS made her own decisions after reaching adulthood. They may not be choices you or I would make (e.g. interacting with gauri on a repeated basis etc.) but all those were choices anandi would make. Now the fact that the outcome of those choices (e.g. jagat dumping her yet again, gauri insulting her) were less than desirable does not take away from the fact that they were her choices.
If someone is insulting me , and I keep on saying "I have no choice, I have no choice" and listen to the insults then that is ridiculous -- ofcourse I have a choice -- to remove myself from the situation.
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