Marriage - Financial Unity? What JaGa didn't do

JaGa are currently fighting about Money due to Jagat's unemployment and lack of income. There has been a lot of tu tu mein mein between them and forum members about this. Now I could throw Kerosene on the fire... but, I would rather discuss and learn how to avoid such problems. I am single and not really mingling😆 but, I did give some thought to how such issues could be approached.

Anjana,

Tinoo - I agree with you completely. If I had a husband... then I would want to keep my own a/c and open a joint a/c to which we both have access. The problem here is that there is no joint a/c for expenses between these 2. While these two were expending separately, it made sense for them not to have a joint a/c as well as separate a/c, but now that they are expanding solely from Gauri's... Gauri should set up a joint a/c with both having access in addition to her separate a/c.

nice suggesstion .mere ek uncle hain jub bhi unko salary milti hai to woh aadhi salary apne pass rakhte hain aur aadhi salary apni wife ko deten hain .uncle naa to unke kharche ke maamle mein interfere kurte hain aur na aunty uncle ke kharchon ke maamle mein interfere kurti hain unke do bacche bhi hain bade ho gaye hain pur abhi tuk unke ghar ke kharchon mein bachhon ki padhaai ke kharchon mein koi problem nahi aayi sub khuchh bahut acche se chal raha hai .is understanding ki wajah se aaj unke pass sub khuchh hai.waise ek baat hoti hai jub tuk niyat saaf nahi hogi tub tuk kitna bhi paisa kamalo barakat nahi hoti aur niyat saaf hai paisa kum bhi hai to barakat hoti hai

Originally posted by: shaannn

problem will be solve with joint account and when jagya will also earn if he will not feel inferior in hospital

🤣🤣🤣 yes, i agree in this particular case, the best solution for financial unity is for jagat to get off his sorry butt and get a job. then he wont feel inferior in front of gauri.

As Jagya is now holding the position of home manager , he should b in a position to understand the income & expenses and he is supposed to help Gouri in budgetary aspects...
He do not co operate with her more over irritate her with his egoism...it's really a punishment to any working wife with such an irresponsible husband...

i think the main problem with this couple is that they dont discuss important things like budget and finances...there is no one way to do things, every household has a diff way of managing based on situation...but the key is to talk and take some decisions together and maintain some independence in other matters...its a balance...if ever a spouse feels like the house is surviving just becoz of him/her, the respect for the other partner will die...

waise do no mein se kisi ko ghar nahi chalana aata aur na kisi problem ko solve karna aata hai jaise gas khatam ho gayi to kai aur time nahi hai gas book karane ka to aise maamlon mein hum padosi ki madad le sakte hain unhe khaali cylindar deke bhara hua cylinder le sakte hain aur doosra un do no ko kapde abhi ki abhi kyon chhahiye woh kapde to baad mein bhi khareeden jaa sakte hain pehle ghar ki jo kharche hain jo waakai mein bahut zaroori hain pehle unpar to kharch karo .dono mein se kisi ko nahi pata ki pehle paisa kahan kharch karna hai aur naa hi dono ko ek doosre ka khayal hai .anyways yeh dono apne karmon ka phul bhog rahe hain

The points that you've mentioned are very good and apt, but I feel that these points apply to regular couples who really are in love and not in the illusion of it. Jagat and Gauri believe that they love each other, if they did then they would put each other before themselves which they don't.

They have HUGE EGOs and are not ready to compromise on them even for the sake of the other. I also feel Gauri does not trust Jagat completely with her money so there is no point of a joint account. Jagat is used to having free money from his family... he is spoiled like that... he would just drain her account dry.

Doing a budget together would be feasible.. but both don't even share responsibilities in the house. plus Gauri wants to maintain appearances in front of her seniors through her looks (her new wardrobe explains it). She could've waited a few more weeks till Jagat found a job or completed his MS instead of indulging/ pampering herself with clothes. Her office staff didn't show any problem with her earlier attire... for someone who spends so lavishly without considering the present conditions of her home/ spouse/ family... making a budget is outta question. I don't think she would've been fired if she continued her salwar suits a few more weeks.

Plus I feel Gauri would not like giving Jagat any accountability for her earnings, but will defo want to hear where he spend her money if she gives him any and that too before hand.

Once again they have huge EGOs to consider job hunting for each other as respectable. They have self respect issues on the WRONG things... plus one gets jealous of the other's success. Inadvertently they think of each other as competitors instead of a team (wanting to score high than the other)... taking each other's 'ehsaan' is just unthinkable... (but money does not come into ehsaan, its a friggin right😛)..

Jagat is home alone now and lazy as hell🥱. He's brought up in a family where women do all the house work and men come home and EAT IT. Instead of helping out his spouse he lounges around the house sleeping in late and watching TV. This guy NEEDS CABLE. His survival depends on it so no compromise there. The guy couldn't even move to get a gas cylinder and that would somehow be insulting for his self respect 🤢

There long term goals include opening a hospital but for that they need a very very large sum of money... and for that Jagat's family is always their to blackmail so they won't save up anything for their medium or long term goals. They have it all thought out.

The points u said are indeed too good and mature but it takes a lot of courage and rather i would say it takes true love to follow them.In JG relation the problem is their respective egos.Jagiya is too egoist to accept the fact that his wife is the only earning member and if she is bringing money there is no harm if he takes up her role of taking care of the household.That wont lower his pride.But he cant understand that.And as for Gauri,she is always on cloud 9.She thinks that she is the only girl in the world who has become successful even despite of difficulties.She is a living with a blindfold on her eyes.And anyone who tries to show her a mirror of herself is wrong for her.
Yes I wont say that jagiya is not an egoist but it is Gauri who kindles that ego.I think her comment to jagiya that he should consult to her before any financial commitment to anyone was one such example.What if jagiya was the only earning member and he said the same to her.That would have been considered rude and insensitive on jagiya's part but i think the same shud apply to gauri as well.So actually all these rules could have applied if we were talking of sensible ppl who r genuinely in love but not on JG...There pride is too big to survive such sensitive issues!