unconditional love vs. doormat

We see in anandi unconditional love for her 'parivar' and for jagat. We interpret it as doormat behaviour .

tinoo...a thought provoking post once again!i like ur threads a lot.very meaningful!i feel that defining a borderline between the two is quintessential!when ur love goes to such an extent that the person u love begins to toy with ur self respect,retalliation is needed!u need to arm yourself with potential to fight the circumstances and not escape using unconditional love as ur defence mechanism to console urself that i have not been cheated or defeated,its just that my love didnt suffice!

Love for one's family and close friends remains unconditional until something so jarring happens one starts to wonder whether this love is just one sided.

Conditions apply 2 business,NOT 2 life!

Even a true business man who has a fore thought does never lose relations (he may lose one/two transactions).

If u can't love unconditionally (whether u like it or not) u r liable 2 loss!,as TRUE LOVE is always unconditional!

Anandi kept her relations alive with all,including J(who still respects her) putting aside a loss in a transaction(betrayal by J) @ the cost of which, haveli stood by her side with life long commitment,which was possible by unconditional love of A 2wards all.

It is JG who had taken their relationship as a business those require documents n all 2 keep their relationship alive.

btw,apart 4m drawing lines it is always better if v concentrate on suggesting a way out 2 the needy...

I dunno how many of you saw Rakt Sambandh, but in that serial, the love Sandhya had for Neeraj was unconditional. When she found out that he originally loved her and was cheated from her, she started loving him. And after her marriage, even when she caught Neeraj in seemingly compromising situations w/ another woman who was trying to steal him - against his wishes, she chose not to believe what she apparently saw. When he tried explaining to her, she told him that she trusts him completely and there was nothing to explain. Later, she went on to threaten to expose the other woman. Further down the serial, when Neeraj did have doubts about her motives due to one of her ex-in-laws contriving a situation where she'd be unforgiving, she was hurt, but at the end of the serial, when everything was exposed, she readily forgave him on the grounds that he acted b'cos of a whole bunch of misunderstandings that had been contrived by her enemies. Those who have seen that serial would understand what I mean.

I do think conditional love is not bad at all. Unconditional love is fine, as long as the recipient is deserving. This doesn't mean that the recipient has to be a complete joru-ka-gulam, he just has to respect his marriage, love his wife, and only doubt her when evidence strongly points that way. On her part, she can continue to love him if he's resenting her under a misunderstanding, such as Prem & Simar. The problem in this serial is not that Jagya dislikes Anandi b'cos of a perceived wrongdoing on her part, which would be forgivable. The problem is that Jagya is totally characterless and thought nothing about ruining her reputation. Had he first divorced her and then married Gauri, he'd have been fine. Even after all the legal opposition he got, had he quietly called Anandi and asked her to sign divorce papers, then too he'd have been fine.

Had Jagya misbehaved w/ Anandi for reasons like suspecting her of some sort of wrongdoing, I'd not have held it against her. But he knew she was good, and just chose to cheat on her b'cos he felt like it, and despite that, she loves him. That's why I think she's a loser.

Thanks all.

A's love is uncoditional ... but she is not doormat simply coz, she does help financially by transfering his father's money to him, but didn't let him keep the gift she gave him years back (that sun glass) .. they way she took it from his hand spoke volumes about this ... comming to financial help, it is his dad's money .. she is just being a channel nothing else, she does feel disturbed on hearing his voice ... coz she loves him ... she wished the doll on his B day ... didn't call him.. if she was a door mat she would have called him n begged (first) later screemed, shooted etc ... to possess him back, but she always maintaines a distance from him after knowing that he loves someone else ... she didn't file case on him, though she states family n all that ..it also coz she can't still hate him ...

Tinoo

There is nothing to struggle w/. Had Anandi been an evolved spirit, she'd have been happy through all these weeks - ever since Jagat married Gauri. But that's not what she was doing - she's been silently crying and dwelling on her plight. Yet, she won't stop doing stupid things like offering to eat his jutan thali, informing him about G's pregnancy, getting his dad to fund him, etc. Had she been evolved, she'd have done all that, but been happy every step of the way on the assumption that he was happy. If she loves him in the way that is being described, a good litmus test for it would be her being happy whenever she thinks that he is happy, and her being sad whenever she thinks that he is sad.

But that's not what it was all these weeks, and that's not what it's going to be when she finds out about the pregnancy. Why should she be crying when telling Jagya the news? And if it does hurt, why would she be the one to tell him? This unconditional love thing is just not adding up - if it was there, Anandi would have been happy at all the turns of events.

Therefore, her behavior is totally doormat behavior.

Why she calls n i nformed him... ? we still donot know how the turn of events would be ... maybe J called her ( he know no one else from haveli will talk to him) to know wht happened ... this is just a promo.

Dear tinoo,

U r missing a gr8 thing in true love(which is obviously un conditional),
Won't u try 2 correct the friends when they're going wrong/doing a mistake knowingly/unknowingly ?
SEEMS U WILL LEAVE THEM THINKING THAT IT'S THEIR PERSONAL ISSUE.
Eventhough they cd not ask/personally discuss it is our responsibility to protect them,as they r our strength.
Similar wd b the case with our partner,and even much more than that as the person is our lifelong mate.
Just as we try to take precautionary measures to protect our children from spoiling,we must excercise prudence to keep our lifelong assets(partner,and friends) without conditions.
Anandi failed to take such precautionary measures & faced the pain.