In the name of love - Page 3

Originally posted by: CutiePiee4

vasuja this is what baffles me reading some of those long lovey dovey essays on J's true love. Can u really call it true love? I guess the definition has changed over the years but i still believe that men like J wont take a minute more to dump their life partners once they get bored of them

Cutie🤗long time dear...

i can't bear this atyaachar on jaggu dada...i will fight for his rights to choose...

vasu🤗yeah long tym

acchha achha vasu and dolly geli...!!

Originally posted by: tanvismile

Suchi niveric-i agree with u on pts u made abt g.infact few said hw can g behave like dat with j he left his family for her,i was like so wat?see its nt that we r nt thinking abt g,we know g wont take much of his illtreatment of j,there is always a limit fr everthing in life.if she feels she is sufering she can move on.we r just giving j chance in life til today he s love doesnt seem fake.as someone said a a big time casanova can fal truly for a gal,so just a chance to prove his love.thats it.

I would agree with your point dear, if Jag was not married to Anandi. Meaning if their relationship had no meaning socially , legally and it was a girlfriend boy friend thing then one can say taht , yes the couples have moved on. But when marriage comes into picture there is a whole lot in stake.

Families, emotions (of 16 years), physical intimacy (what if there was a child in the picture. No wonder why the elders of the family usually push teh couples to have kids early because the, kids are the binding factor of a marriage in many cases. They yes do not understand that there is no point living in a love less marriage but, where we come from the honor of the family and maintaining a marriage is more important. So I understand their mentality) , and not to mention the legal mess they are in now.

Second chances are given to those who deserve it. Jagya has not shown one single step towards gaining that second chance yet.

I wish that Jagya talks to Anandi to get a legal divorce. Marries Gauri legally. Stops taking funds from Anandi. If he can convince his father then great, if not he should not take any money from Anandi and earn on his own so that he regains self respect and gauri remains secure in her feelings.

IF he does all of the above, then I would say yes he should get a second chance.

Regardless My hatred for him has reached that level that I might NEVER be able to forgive him but lets see. I forgave basant. He looks human now so perhaps this worm might also loose some of his slime in near future.

Originally posted by: tanvismile

Vasuja dear-if it was nt the issue of child mariage then the maters today wudnt b so complicatd to judge.seen j s behaviour for g.they wer best budies thn to lovers.he tried his level to stay away frm her bcoz he was maried.he startd findin faults in a bt even then the next day he rejectd g s proposal. He did attempts to stay away frm g.bt here their whole life is messed by child mariage incident.secondly its abt comitment ,now he has taken comitment with his own wil.so obviously he is expectd to b with g.

I think Jagya(Though he is a big jerk in the way he broke off with Anandi) really loves Gauri...but I never called it true love/divine love or anything. God knows what is true love...and how many people in the real world are in true love...because I have never seen unchangeable love ever in life...though have seen lot of people in love.

Given that situation, and given that it can change again...Please don't throw stones at me😆--but I am so pro-choice, that I feel...if at some point of life, he feels strongly that he can't continue with Gauri...yes, he has the right to break up again...and Gauri has equal rights too.
But yeah, it will be veyr immoral on his part to treat her like trash, or stop respecting her at any point of time. I feel staying married is not more important than keeping your respect and honesty intact for your partner...and if you have to break up, you can't leave her in a lurch. To some extent its your responsibility that she is not left as a destitute...or a person with no means in society...so atleast in a developing society he needs to give her all the financial and humanly support at the time of separation...

I saw a discussion on western culture of greed...marriages and remarriages-yeah, in western culture-its not abnormal to see men and women , who have married say 3/4 times in their lives...and a lot of men and women stay married to the same person. Their relations begin with live-in, and if it works they decide to marry. Because of all this, earlier, I thought Americans have less "values" compared to we Indians. But honestly, now I don't think so. They respect and treasure their marriages too. Even they don't jump to get married to every next available man and woman, or else they would have been like those Saudi Arabian Sheikhs--hungry for more and more women. But in reality a lot of men and women really work hard and try to keep their marriages intact, and if it cannot they accept it and move on...but I have seen a lot of them genuinely work on their marriages. This freedom of choice in western countries, gives them the ability to take decisions for themselves...if things fall apart or the marriages goes completely love-less, lot of them separate...but doesn't classify all of them as immature decision makers.

Also, the way we have a view point on them...they have their views about us and out values (which might be categorised racist)...e.g. Indian men, are considered disloyal on a general level. (A lot of Indian men, don't understand why white women rarely/marry dont date them in spite of Indian men being so professionally successful.)... A lot of Indian men are considered chauvinstic and disloyal. Many Indian men have a reputation--that they just want to "enjoy" with other women...but run away from commitments and marriages. And that they don't want real women, but automated machines...who are chosen by his parents...and those women are supposed to perform orders and traditions, without questioning anything.

I defend Indian culture in the west, because I know there are good and bad Indian men.A lot of Indian men are not commitment phobic...and even they work hard on their marriages...unlike a general reputation that has been formed about them. same way, I'll defend Western culture too...they are not people who break marriages at the drop of a hat..or for every "better" girl/guy they find. there are "bad apples" in every culture...be it Indian or Western

I dislike Jagya because the way he treated anandi...however I do think, he has tried to work on his relation with Gauri...and tried to stick to it. Watching this, I would give him a benefit of doubt that atleast he might try to work on his relation with Gauri...however he needs to make it legal first. Also, after he has genuinely tried and later things don't work out with Gauri even.. he can choose a his way out. But I expect him to respect and talk things out with her first. and in case he fallls in love with another person again...and lets assume that love is as strong as we r seeing for Gauri now...he should definitely not continue his relation with Gauri...but neither should he jump into marriage with the third girl at once. His repetitive behavior, should make him first want to look into himself, to see whether he is even ready for marriage before showing dreams to another girl this time...Maybe give time to himself...take some counseling..and then see what he really wants.

However, without getting into any arguments with anyone...I am only stating my own POV... because I am a pro-choice person when it comes to marriages, and I know not many people would agree with me. According to me a pro-choice culture is not necessarily a bad culture in which every person is walking on each other. However thats just my opinion...:-)

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle

tanvi tum bolti raho , super like ur posts👏i have no patience to wrie now😆no use ,
true love true love as anyone knows the real meaning of true love😆
now this is a soap, here its has been shown that they both love each other ,
ab bv cvs ittne gyaani nahin hain naa , they should have asked members from if what true love is
what r the conditions in true love, phir story likhte😆
anyways u know general audiences diont bother with these aspect, they dont have such long memeory , if they r showing jagya gauri loving each oither , the audeince accepts it😉
they will forget soon how bad he was to anandi before, really now that jagya has said sorry to anandi, ppl r liking jagya again(obviouly this froum is an exception but here ppl r bv addicts, otherwise normal viewers dont think much and dont dwell too much on what happened in th past)

Originally posted by: gangubai1

Interesting point Vasu and I would like to bring up two contrasting points of view that started me thinking on this path a long time back.

POV1 - One of my friends was getting married and she said, "Isn't marriage so unnatural? How can society expect me to say that this day onwards I'll not be attracted to another man. If I so much as look or think of another man for the rest of my life, I shall be termed a sinner." I was quite impressed with her line of thinking and it struck me as a totally valid and logical point of view.

POV2 - I was discussing this issue with my mother a few years later and she said, "Why is it only in a marriage that we feel the need to take a legal separation? If one's feelings change for the parents, or kids, or siblings, one doesn't disown them and go so far as take legal steps against them. Why should we treat marriage any different?" Again this seems to be a totally valid and logical point of view.

What you are saying represents the first POV. I myself tend to agree with my mother. It is OK to like someone else after marriage, it is even OK to feel attracted to someone else. But it is not OK to act upon those feelings. A marriage is much more than simply "being in love" or feeling physically attracted to someone. To me a successful marriage is something like what my parents have.

They have nothing in common and most often cannot abide to be in the same room as the other. They can't seem to have a simple civil conversation. Yet Dad remembers most diligently when Mom has to go to the doctor, which of her prescriptions needs to be filled and gets up early int he morning to finish half the chores in the kitchen so she doesn't have to do anything strenuous. In her turn my mother makes 2 different types dishes for every meal, because Dad likes his food in a certain way and the rest of the family likes it another way.

A marriage is just that for me. Being there for each other, waking up to that same face day after day after day, knowing that the person next to you snores so badly that you've forgotten what a peaceful night is all about, yet still making that first cup of tea for your partner.

Would it be wrong for Jagya to leave Gauri? Yes it would. He left a real marriage with Anandi to be with Gauri. He needs to stop somewhere and stop running after that next butterfly. He needs to understand what marriage is all about. If he has chosen Gauri then he owes it to her and to Anandi to try and make a life with her.

hima loved your post...I started this post to get real views and I completely agree with yours...As you said even in the western Pro-choice society they have a moral compass...Personally I don't think getting married 3 to 4 times is wrong if the break ups had genuine reason...and according to me falling out of love is a very genuine reason to seperate...You have rightly mentioned that many in western society really try hard to work their marriage before seperation...I don't believe that love is for eternity...Every married couple go through a dry phase and have to put some work to re kindle their love...

I felt the reason for Jagya to leave Anandi was stupid: he left her becoz she was not modern and educated..He knew very well that she is a sharp girl and has the potential to learn things fast... but he did not give her a chance...I can overlook that...It is possible that he was more in love with Gauri and he lost his love for Anandi totally... I just wished he had separated decently...

i do believe that Jagya has the right to leave gauri and move on with another person if the above scenario repeats again...i don't think the rule books change after marrying Gauri...