The psychology of gauri's need for acceptance

I have been reading the forum for several months. This is my first post.

I may slightly differ to what you have said.

Originally posted by: Missesha

I may slightly differ to what you have said.

1) In childhood, Gauri was extremely happy that her marriage with Jagya broke and she was excited that she could go back to studies. So what is bothering her now?

2) When she fell in love with Jagat, she was not aware that he is the same guy Jagdish, so assuming that Jagat was not jagya but any other different person then would Gauri not go ahead in her relationship with this new person? Would she then say that, she wants to go back to this Singh Parivaar?

3) Gauri was given all this education so that she can explore the world and move on. Gauri is not like Teepri, who in her obsession to marry Bhairon would even ruin her own family's life? Teepri did that because she was uneducated

So in my opinion, I just feel that Gauri doesn't like failures and that's why she is trying hard to get recognition by Singh parivaar. I don't think its any thing out of love or need of acceptance. Its more about GAuri satisfying her own personal ego.

Originally posted by: achiever

but you know wat she is gonna say next.. tht its "fate"..😆😆😆 tht she came across same person.. and she went along with wat destiny had stored for her... mark my words...😆

all our logical explanation of her illogical behavior r not gonna make any sense thn..😆😆😆

excellent yaar 👏kyaa analysis kiya hain,

Originally posted by: tinoo

I have been reading the forum for several months. This is my first post.

Several people have been commenting on Gauri's obsessive need for acceptance by the family.

It is quite simple -- in trauma patients (she suffered trauma in her young age), there is a need to heal the pain. In that effort they try to "fix" the pain by trying to "fix" the situation. This means that if she is successful in fixing the situation now, then she has fixed the pain of the past and it will heal ... or she can pretend that the rejection as child bride never happened.

In general, in people without a sense of self, (and sense of self has nothing to do with education or family background, it is just an inborn sense of power)... so in people without a sense of self, when they have a trauma like the one gauri has experienced, they feel that the people who rejected them 'took' something from them.

Therefore, logically, within that mental framework, they keep going back to the same person and seeking acceptance ...because the something that they took is something that will be returned.

Since dadisa and family 'took' her sense of self in childhood, she is now coming back to 'take it back' from them through their acceptance.

If Gauri's sense of self in dadisa's and singh family's pocket, then as long as Gauri believes that, she will never be able to find her sense of self with any other family or any other husband.

Think of it - if we know that person X has taken our book ... why on earth would we go and look for the book with person Y? ... we know that Y doesn't have it, but X has it. So we will always go back to x, because they have our book.

The paradigm of Gauri's thinking is faulty, but unless she has counseling and her trauma is dealt with in a healthy psychological/psychiatric self-esteem counseling sessions, and her sense of self is reframed in terms of being a doctor or a qualified professional or a beauty, she will always look for acceptance from the singh family to get her lost sense of self.