Posted:
Originally posted by: avyarima
I totally get the point, but men can not keep off it the way you write unless if the issues are simple..like cooking, cleaning...e..t.c. when it came to really issues that can really scar (not literary) or cause any physical/mental abuse? The son/husband has to come in.
I mean a son should not stand there watching his wife really disrespecting/ harming his mom...like wise his mom harming or disrespecting his wife.Agree, but he has to be very careful and talk to the wife and/or mom when the other is not around. Correcting the mom in front of wife or correcting the wife in front of mom both will make things worse.
The problem mostly comes with the fight over right!
The man has the show them clear "equal but different "...what a mom can do a wife can not and what i wife can do a mom can not.
In most cases, those little complain, comments, expensive jokes, by the man mostly cost the riot!. Let say a son comes in looking tired and say "damn!, am having sleepless nights"...(he didnt clearly say " my office work is getting to much) and his wife gives him food, which a didnt want to eat and goes to bad...later after working in his home office, his wife already asleep...he enters the kitchen to make a quick snack and eat...his mom watching all this ..WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WILL THINK?...or a man says in front of his mom..."i have to ask my wife first" (you should ask your wife first but didnt have to tell your mom) your mom will think she is controlling you.
Or lets say your husband keep telling you " you have to impress mom" "we should ask mom" or like Jagya say today "you have to learn to adjust to my family's way( lets say she wasnt the person forcing them to come"...no woman have to!...if you bring your wife home, you have to keep being gentle to her and encourage her not fighting her into accepting your own life. and some men...talk harshly to their mom in front of the wife...she will start thinking its ok...(you want your wife to respect mom? you do your best on that!).
So most of the time the men have to watch their mouths and be careful..thats exactly what I said, even a joke, a comment could cause things to go wrong. I always believe it is how good the man is in balancing his relationship with his wife and mom which reflects how good a MIL and DIL get along. The key to a good DIL-MIL relationship is in the hands of the Hubby..because it may be a joke or you said it out of anger, but we women carry it a very long way. believe me.
your Wife and your mom are equal, but different...repeat it over and over again itll you get it!
CID
Ishaani
