Posted:
Gauri's mother surprised me today. Till now I was getting upset with Gauri as the bubbly, lovable girl gradually turned into an insensitive and irrational mess of insecurity, but now I know where her behavior came from. Children learn from their parents and if parents are like this, the daughter is bound to lose her senses. I am really amazed with Gauri's mother:
1. Firstly, you drag your child to the whole mess of child marriage even after knowing that the groom is already married. I remember there was another farmer couple who had brought their daughter for Jagya's second marriage but as soon as they learnt that Jagya was already married, they promptly refused to give their daughter. The father said that they might be poor but they can't throw away their daughter into such a situation, she is not that heavy a burden. Yet, Gauri's parents decided to marry her off in spite of everything, did your daughter become so much of a liability for you?
2. Secondly, you leave your daughter outside the haveli shivering in cold, in spite of knowing that the marriage scenario has gone bad. How heartless can you be as parents? Did you think what your daughter will go through---physically, mentally, emotionally? Which mother would have agreed to abandon the child just because she is married off, instead of protecting her in a dire situation? Surely she is a "monster mom" [Ref to the infamous Casey Anthony]
3. Thirdly, how come your daughter hates the Singh family so much while she has no memory of the atrocities you yourself have done to her? How come she has a selective memory of her trauma and a selective memory of the people responsible for it? Surely you have brought her up with that version of the story where you have carefully absolved yourself of everything you did to her and taught her only to hate the Singh family. Wonderful manipulation with your own daughter!
4. Fourthly, even after knowing everything about Jagya's identity as an adult why didn't you stop your daughter from marrying that guy? Yes, you did try to argue and convince Gauri that she will be like a second wife and the family will not accept her, but was that enough? As a mother shouldn't you have told your daughter that a guy who constantly lies to you for 5 years is not a trustworthy guy to choose as a life partner? Shouldn't you have told your daughter to inquire about what his relationship was with his first wife? Shouldn't you have advised her not to go near the haveli after marriage? As mature, experience people you should have warned your daughter and guided her in the right direction. Parents take so much pains in making sure that their daughter is getting married to the right person---they inquire about the guy's past, gather information from other sources and are very critical of the guy before they give him a clean chit. It's amazing how they agreed to the marriage so easily. Your daughter might have been blind in love but not you. But no, all you were concerned about was her rights in the haveli, her life doesn't matter too much for you. Seems Gauri got her obsession about the haveli rights from her mother only. That's why her mother was so ecstatic to hear the rights have been granted, nothing else came to her mind, not even what her daughter might have gone through. It was totally a personal vendetta against majisa
5. Fifthly, you instigate your daughter to push the family into sensitive matters like Kuldevi's Puja. As an elder woman you must be experienced enough to understand that if your daughter's in laws haven't done that yet, it means there are still some tensions in the in laws place. In such a situation if your daughter pushes them into such matters, she might become the target of their brunt or even face insult. Yet, you push your daughter into it, because getting full acceptance from the Singh family is of utmost importance to you, your daughter and her pain can go to hell!!
5. Sixthly, it amazes me how as a mother yourself you could be so blind and cruel to another girl of your daughter's age. You teach your daughter to be selfish, to not think about Anandi and to look into only her own interests. Seriously? Are these the values you teach your daughter? Is this what you want her to be as a human being? I am not amazed seeing Gauri's self-centredness and insensitivity now. If this is what your mother teaches you, it's not your fault.
I am really shocked and feel sorry for Gauri that she has a mother like this. The poor girl is doomed from her birth.
1. Firstly, you drag your child to the whole mess of child marriage even after knowing that the groom is already married. I remember there was another farmer couple who had brought their daughter for Jagya's second marriage but as soon as they learnt that Jagya was already married, they promptly refused to give their daughter. The father said that they might be poor but they can't throw away their daughter into such a situation, she is not that heavy a burden. Yet, Gauri's parents decided to marry her off in spite of everything, did your daughter become so much of a liability for you?
2. Secondly, you leave your daughter outside the haveli shivering in cold, in spite of knowing that the marriage scenario has gone bad. How heartless can you be as parents? Did you think what your daughter will go through---physically, mentally, emotionally? Which mother would have agreed to abandon the child just because she is married off, instead of protecting her in a dire situation? Surely she is a "monster mom" [Ref to the infamous Casey Anthony]
3. Thirdly, how come your daughter hates the Singh family so much while she has no memory of the atrocities you yourself have done to her? How come she has a selective memory of her trauma and a selective memory of the people responsible for it? Surely you have brought her up with that version of the story where you have carefully absolved yourself of everything you did to her and taught her only to hate the Singh family. Wonderful manipulation with your own daughter!
4. Fourthly, even after knowing everything about Jagya's identity as an adult why didn't you stop your daughter from marrying that guy? Yes, you did try to argue and convince Gauri that she will be like a second wife and the family will not accept her, but was that enough? As a mother shouldn't you have told your daughter that a guy who constantly lies to you for 5 years is not a trustworthy guy to choose as a life partner? Shouldn't you have told your daughter to inquire about what his relationship was with his first wife? Shouldn't you have advised her not to go near the haveli after marriage? As mature, experience people you should have warned your daughter and guided her in the right direction. Parents take so much pains in making sure that their daughter is getting married to the right person---they inquire about the guy's past, gather information from other sources and are very critical of the guy before they give him a clean chit. It's amazing how they agreed to the marriage so easily. Your daughter might have been blind in love but not you. But no, all you were concerned about was her rights in the haveli, her life doesn't matter too much for you. Seems Gauri got her obsession about the haveli rights from her mother only. That's why her mother was so ecstatic to hear the rights have been granted, nothing else came to her mind, not even what her daughter might have gone through. It was totally a personal vendetta against majisa
5. Fifthly, you instigate your daughter to push the family into sensitive matters like Kuldevi's Puja. As an elder woman you must be experienced enough to understand that if your daughter's in laws haven't done that yet, it means there are still some tensions in the in laws place. In such a situation if your daughter pushes them into such matters, she might become the target of their brunt or even face insult. Yet, you push your daughter into it, because getting full acceptance from the Singh family is of utmost importance to you, your daughter and her pain can go to hell!!
5. Sixthly, it amazes me how as a mother yourself you could be so blind and cruel to another girl of your daughter's age. You teach your daughter to be selfish, to not think about Anandi and to look into only her own interests. Seriously? Are these the values you teach your daughter? Is this what you want her to be as a human being? I am not amazed seeing Gauri's self-centredness and insensitivity now. If this is what your mother teaches you, it's not your fault.
I am really shocked and feel sorry for Gauri that she has a mother like this. The poor girl is doomed from her birth.
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
