With a mother like this...

woman11 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
Gauri's mother surprised me today. Till now I was getting upset with Gauri as the bubbly, lovable girl gradually turned into an insensitive and irrational mess of insecurity, but now I know where her behavior came from. Children learn from their parents and if parents are like this, the daughter is bound to lose her senses. I am really amazed with Gauri's mother:

1. Firstly, you drag your child to the whole mess of child marriage even after knowing that the groom is already married. I remember there was another farmer couple who had brought their daughter for Jagya's second marriage but as soon as they learnt that Jagya was already married, they promptly refused to give their daughter. The father said that they might be poor but they can't throw away their daughter into such a situation, she is not that heavy a burden. Yet, Gauri's parents decided to marry her off in spite of everything, did your daughter become so much of a liability for you?

2. Secondly, you leave your daughter outside the haveli shivering in cold, in spite of knowing that the marriage scenario has gone bad. How heartless can you be as parents? Did you think what your daughter will go through---physically, mentally, emotionally? Which mother would have agreed to abandon the child just because she is married off, instead of protecting her in a dire situation? Surely she is a "monster mom" [Ref to the infamous Casey Anthony]

3. Thirdly, how come your daughter hates the Singh family so much while she has no memory of the atrocities you yourself have done to her? How come she has a selective memory of her trauma and a selective memory of the people responsible for it? Surely you have brought her up with that version of the story where you have carefully absolved yourself of everything you did to her and taught her only to hate the Singh family. Wonderful manipulation with your own daughter!

4. Fourthly, even after knowing everything about Jagya's identity as an adult why didn't you stop your daughter from marrying that guy? Yes, you did try to argue and convince Gauri that she will be like a second wife and the family will not accept her, but was that enough? As a mother shouldn't you have told your daughter that a guy who constantly lies to you for 5 years is not a trustworthy guy to choose as a life partner? Shouldn't you have told your daughter to inquire about what his relationship was with his first wife? Shouldn't you have advised her not to go near the haveli after marriage? As mature, experience people you should have warned your daughter and guided her in the right direction. Parents take so much pains in making sure that their daughter is getting married to the right person---they inquire about the guy's past, gather information from other sources and are very critical of the guy before they give him a clean chit. It's amazing how they agreed to the marriage so easily. Your daughter might have been blind in love but not you. But no, all you were concerned about was her rights in the haveli, her life doesn't matter too much for you. Seems Gauri got her obsession about the haveli rights from her mother only. That's why her mother was so ecstatic to hear the rights have been granted, nothing else came to her mind, not even what her daughter might have gone through. It was totally a personal vendetta against majisa

5. Fifthly, you instigate your daughter to push the family into sensitive matters like Kuldevi's Puja. As an elder woman you must be experienced enough to understand that if your daughter's in laws haven't done that yet, it means there are still some tensions in the in laws place. In such a situation if your daughter pushes them into such matters, she might become the target of their brunt or even face insult. Yet, you push your daughter into it, because getting full acceptance from the Singh family is of utmost importance to you, your daughter and her pain can go to hell!!

5. Sixthly, it amazes me how as a mother yourself you could be so blind and cruel to another girl of your daughter's age. You teach your daughter to be selfish, to not think about Anandi and to look into only her own interests. Seriously? Are these the values you teach your daughter? Is this what you want her to be as a human being? I am not amazed seeing Gauri's self-centredness and insensitivity now. If this is what your mother teaches you, it's not your fault.

I am really shocked and feel sorry for Gauri that she has a mother like this. The poor girl is doomed from her birth.

Edited by woman11 - 14 years ago

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tiny15 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#2
@woman11 i'vn't watched 2days epi till now but i"ll watch it on youtube. and i agree wid u that G's parents r more at fault than DS!!🥱🥱
and if G's mother has instigated her 4 'kuldevi" puja then its clear how cum G can't feel oder gal's plight!!🥱🥱
Suchi- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#3
yeah just like her mother said today to gauri

think only about yourself and that is exactly what gauri is doing
Thinking ONLY about herself
redapple1 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#4
Yeah I agree with you woman11. I was even shocked to see how that mom was telling Gowri not to worry about the other girl and just focus on her life. Geez... In the precap dadisa told that Gowri is duur ka risthedaar... Wow dadisa and Jagya are so similar. Jagya introduced Anandi as doorki risthedaar and now dadisa is telling Gowri the same. Now I see where Jagya learnt all these tricks. Potha's thinking is exact replica of dadisa's thinking...
cloudz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#5
Very well said.
It IS definitely strange that if Gauri was so traumatized by her past, that she in no way sees the fault of her parents when it is they who forced her into the marriage all for a few pennies. While I don't say that Dadisa is not at fault - Gauri seems to be going quite the opposite direction with her placement of blame - the rest of the Singh family and Anandi - none of who had anything to do with her plight.
But brainwashing and telling a story in a certain way to a child could have twisted the memory and the concept in her head.
Though even Gehna reminding her that it was Anandi who was kind to her when her own parents literally threw her away did not bring an ounce of sympathy or even feeling into Gauri's face
vasuja thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#6
thanks antara for making that post. i was so upset that i did not even have the patience to make a post. Finally Gauri showed a little humanity thinking about Anandi and bravo her mom advices think only about yourself... Yeah I agree with what gauri said, she is definitely unlucky compared to anandi...she has such parents compared to Anandi...looks like insensitivity runs in the family.
hooked thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#7
The less said about both her folks the better...

I recall- even when DS had gone to meet them and liked the girl, they had said they'd like it early as her grandmom was not well and wanted it to happen soon.

DS had come back that day. DS was still thinking about how to talk to the family about getting J married again and then G's parents had sent a message that it had to be the next day on Akha Teej with J or someone else as his mother was almost holding on just for this wedding. DS didn't want to let this girl go and took a bad decision in a big hurry (am not absolving DS of anything) and undertook the big step of taking J off on a pretext of meeting some saint in another village.

DS had not originally wanted to do this in such a stealthy fashion - she had selected the girl and was waiting to see how she could get the family's support on this issue. Gauri's parents felt it was more important to honor a dying woman's wish to hear the shehnai than to think about ruining a young girl's entire future by marrying her off to the first person who said yes to marry her soon enough...!!!

So - for her mom and her dad - the kindest thing I can say for them is that they are demented, my other choice wud be 'CRIMINALS - perpetrating torture to juveniles'
Edited by hooked - 14 years ago
live_life thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#8
She's a BAD mother, nuff said!

Like mother, like daughter.
woman11 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac

yeah just like her mother said today to gauri

think only about yourself and that is exactly what gauri is doing
Thinking ONLY about herself



A bad tree can only yield bad apples. I can't imagine my mother encouraging me to be selfish and to not have an iota of feeling for another girl of my age who is going through a lot worse because of me. She would rather slap me for such an inhuman behavior. In fact, if it were my mother she would not have allowed me to marry Jagat in the first place. 👎🏼 🥺
Edited by woman11 - 14 years ago
tiny15 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: woman11



A bad tree can only yield bad apples. I can't imagine my mother encouraging me to be selfish and to not have an iota of feeling for another girl of my age who is going through a lot worse because of me. She would rather slap me for such an inhuman behavior. In fact, if it were my mother she would not have allowed me to marry Jagat in the first place. 👎🏼 🥺

yeah i agree wid u completely!!👏👏👏
even my mom wud never ever ask me 2 just think of myself only!! even wenever my mom ask me 2 b a diplomat as i m v.straight4ward type of prsn but she never said 2 me 2 harm any1 or b insenstive 2wards oder human 4 my happiness. my parents r such type of ppl that they never even try 2 harm an animal or bird or a tree!!👏👏👏
and here is G's mother whos saying 2 her daughter 2 leave her senstivity just 4 her happiness!!🤢🤢🥱🥱

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