true storyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Page 3

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I think just like you but not many people think like us. I have seen women who don't wanna study because they don't wanna work...easy life is good for them. They proudly say, I am looking for a husband, preferably in US or europe who can earn for me and I can stay home! They are ready to take all the abuse as long as they don't have to work. One of my childhood friends shocked me. She has Law and MBA degrees from reputed university and worked for couple years before her marriage. Her husband is not abusive, but her in-laws are and her husband doesn't support her. Things became so bad once that the family was thinking about divorce. To my surprise, as soon as her husband came to visit her at her parents, she packed her bags and went with him. I asked her later why she is doing this and she said "I don't wanna go through the trouble of earning money, he will earn for me"😡! this thinking disgust me but then these people see me as too bold for a woman. I guess its just different thinking.

Originally posted by: anu rulz

i get everything u guys are saying..sum women are unfortunately in the position where they cnt afford self-respect..maybe coz they are totally dependant on their families and in-laws..sum who have the idea of "perfect wife and bahu" ingrained so badly in thm tht they think its NORMAL to undergo abuse..i personally dnt judge these women..bt those who refuse to get out of their states just coz tht wud be DIFFICULT sadly deserve the abuse..u have to make efforts and get out of the cycle if u want a better life..sum say tht children get affected so lets continue..i personally dnt find tht a reason..children get affected WORSE wen they see their mother being treated like an animal..they either end up inculcating the same values shown to thm or end up being shy of relationships all their life...and sooner or later the abuse moves over frm the wife to the children..

I could not agree with you more...far better to come from a broken home than an abusive or unhappy home...and children do pick up from parents...that has been proven over and over again...there are exceptions naturally.

I too, do not want to judge as circumstances, financial situations, the way you have been brought up to think so much so that it is a part of your pysche...all these do tend to influence wives...but as YOU have said...those who can and do not are the ones who deserve no sympathy

@divmath

It not the earning thing that is most important, today I earn and can afford to be able to look after myself and child while many of my relatives do not earn their own living and depend on the males, but we both share the same sentiment that by no way is it possible to leave our husbands because the concept of marriage is so deeply ingrained in us, that we cannot think otherwise at any circumstance. Similarly the more modern concepts are ingrained in most of you and you cannot think otherwise of how a woman should compromise to sustain her marriage.

Originally posted by: raima_123

It not the earning thing that is most important, today I earn and can afford to be able to look after myself and child while many of my relatives do not earn their own living and depend on the males, but we both share the same sentiment that by no way is it possible to leave our husbands because the concept of marriage is so deeply ingrained in us, that we cannot think otherwise at any circumstance. Similarly the more modern concepts are ingrained in most of you and you cannot think otherwise of how a woman should compromise to sustain her marriage.

I think it is important that the matrarch in the family is mentally strong not necessarily financially. From childhood the boys in the family are in the closest contact with their mothers and other female members in the family and not the male members as they are mostly out at work. Having a strong role model to the boys of a female since childhood helps in developing their proper attitude to females and family.

My mother-in-law did not have any formal education, but she was a strict disciplinarian and I still remember even my eldest brother in law who was at that time married and had children would never dare talk in front of my mother in law in a loud voice.

When my younger brother in law got married, at that time he was studying in higher secondary and his wife never went to school before, so he showed an air of arrogance to her and would look down upon her. One day my mother in law saw that and the way she scolded her son, I can vouch that even women who are financially independent wontable to be so frank and hard at their married sons. My brother in law since then have never repeated his mistake.

But there is the other side too, most of my friends who got married had to face humiliations at their in-laws, because their the males had never saw that a woman too could be strong and respectable.

In the city too I have seen women who work with me, but they remain in abusive marriages most often for the sake of children as if they seperate they will deprive their children of a proper family life, or sometimes they hope that their husbands woiuld change.

I think what you have said proves that it is really a situational problem...caused by a variety of factors...no one instance is the same as the other...

I think with Balika Vadhu what should be shown or they are hopefully trying to show is that for those who can, those who want to despite the limitations of their upbringing and who have support should not give up the chance to further themselves through education...this gives women a chance to be self sufficient and not dependent on others should something untowards happen as in the case of Anandi and Jagya. This is not to say that with educated people such things do not happen but at least they have the choice of making an educated decision rather than an emotional one...

Unfortunately in child marriages it is not just that the child cannot take his or her own decision but are really stuck with their parents choice...and for those unlucky ones it is a hardship they have to bear for no fault of their own. These marriages almost always happen before a child specially girls can finish their education...some are not even educated...so they have lost the battle before it has begun.

Many lessons can be learnt from BV if the future storyline continues to be handled well...and for me that is a good start.

Originally posted by: groucho

I think what you have said proves that it is really a situational problem...caused by a variety of factors...no one instance is the same as the other...

I think with Balika Vadhu what should be shown or they are hopefully trying to show is that for those who can, those who want to despite the limitations of their upbringing and who have support should not give up the chance to further themselves through education...this gives women a chance to be self sufficient and not dependent on others should something untowards happen as in the case of Anandi and Jagya. This is not to say that with educated people such things do not happen but at least they have the choice of making an educated decision rather than an emotional one...

Unfortunately in child marriages it is not just that the child cannot take his or her own decision but are really stuck with their parents choice...and for those unlucky ones it is a hardship they have to bear for no fault of their own. These marriages almost always happen before a child specially girls can finish their education...some are not even educated...so they have lost the battle before it has begun.

Many lessons can be learnt from BV if the future storyline continues to be handled well...and for me that is a good start.