true storyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Page 2

I agree with you guys a 100%. I know every woman is not strong and esp. in Indian society, most women are raised to obey their in-laws and husband. But Anandi's character confuses me. If it was Sumitra who was going through all this, I would have sympathy for her and would understand if she cries all the time. But they have shown A to be so strong and intuitive. She went against villagers so many times in past for other girls, she was so intuitive to understand Teepri's behavior, but now here husband is ignoring her for more than 5 years and she still thinks he will come back to her, that is too much to understand for me, given what we have seen in past.

I met a well educated guy from a small village in Rajasthan. He was married when he was almost 30, but he was too scared to talk to his parents about anything. His parents told him that they would have his wife stay with them because she needs to do their Seva and all. She was with them for almost an year, while the guy was in US. We gave him a hard time and finally convinced him to bring her here as she deserves to be with her husband. Now this girl is a timid, shy girl, who was raised thinking her husband and in-laws are everything. She told us she never stepped outside her home alone, and was always accompanied by her father or brother. For such women, I totally understand and sympathize...but for Anandi, I am totally confused about her character as to if she is strong or not?

I think Jagya's falling in love with another woman is not necessarily wrong but his hiding truth from both women is totally wrong. If he was falling out of love with Anandi, he should have told her in person, not on phone and similarly he should have told Gauri about Anandi. But I think it is a very common problem, where a person wants to have security on both sides, just in case he has to go back.

Originally posted by: Riamonk

I agree with you guys a 100%. I know every woman is not strong and esp. in Indian society, most women are raised to obey their in-laws and husband. But Anandi's character confuses me. If it was Sumitra who was going through all this, I would have sympathy for her and would understand if she cries all the time. But they have shown A to be so strong and intuitive. She went against villagers so many times in past for other girls, she was so intuitive to understand Teepri's behavior, but now here husband is ignoring her for more than 5 years and she still thinks he will come back to her, that is too much to understand for me, given what we have seen in past.

I met a well educated guy from a small village in Rajasthan. He was married when he was almost 30, but he was too scared to talk to his parents about anything. His parents told him that they would have his wife stay with them because she needs to do their Seva and all. She was with them for almost an year, while the guy was in US. We gave him a hard time and finally convinced him to bring her here as she deserves to be with her husband. Now this girl is a timid, shy girl, who was raised thinking her husband and in-laws are everything. She told us she never stepped outside her home alone, and was always accompanied by her father or brother. For such women, I totally understand and sympathize...but for Anandi, I am totally confused about her character as to if she is strong or not?

I think Jagya's falling in love with another woman is not necessarily wrong but his hiding truth from both women is totally wrong. If he was falling out of love with Anandi, he should have told her in person, not on phone and similarly he should have told Gauri about Anandi. But I think it is a very common problem, where a person wants to have security on both sides, just in case he has to go back.

Originally posted by: rgattu

I feel not every one can be strong.

Even though Anandi is a fictional character, I have come across people like her in real life...who want to fight but then give up too soon...I used to believe that every person CAN be strong and SHOULD fight...but over time I have realised that not are all made of the same substance...some have stronger genes/parvarish/attitude...I don't know what it is but I have learnt to be respectful of those that are weak too...if you guys have the time read the foll story

- friend X, an MBA grad was spotted by an engnr/MS boy Y at a common friends wedding

- had the hots for her and wanted to marry her only

- her parents werent sure and felt the guys people were too demanding but they agreed

- they were supposed to go to UK after marriage

- marriage happpens after lot of haggling over dowry, arguments over functions, food, saris, jewellery and so on...idiot friend X despite advice from every single one of us forged ahead in the marriage!

- X got pregnant probably on her first night itself and within a month of marriage declared her pregnancy (he didn't want to use protection as it would diminish his pleasure)

- Y left to UK leaving X at his mums...torture begins not physical but mental

- Y gave birth to a baby boy (thnak god) and X came back to India/Bangalore with a plush job in a plush bank...

- X and Y lived happily in Bangalore - NOPE

- Y would come back from office and if the baby Z is crying, he would slap the baby to shut him up - 4 month old

- when X's parents visited, after a particularly nasty argument took a nice kitchen knife and threatened to slit his own wrists, then changed to X's wrists, then even threatened MIL...

- Y's temper makes him lift a hungry baby to the ceiling holding him in the palm to get him to shut up as it is Y's dinner time

- X thinks moving to Hyd is better option and begs/pleads/threatens and many more things

- now X Y Z bakc in Hyd ...husband tortures in the bedroom, MIL in the rest of the house...but for every 2-3 bad days there is a good day when she has a loving Y... so X stays with Y.

- X rationalizes to me that Y is far better than lot of guys...at least he buys her saris, the occasional pair of earrings...just slaps her around...but he is upset then but doesn't beat her black and blue...

and so on...

i swear that the above is not fiction from my fertile imagination but a real life on-going story of my friend MBA graduate X, her $*#%$#&%* husband Y and cute baby Z who is so adorable that he makes me cry for he has yet to realise the hell he is going to live through in the next coming years...

@divmath

Originally posted by: hooked

@divmath

I used to feel exactly like you - I couldn't understand how someone could be so weak...how can you let someone slap you even once and live to see another day ??

But it has taken me a long time to see and understand that not everyone thinks like me and or has the same amount of self conviction that I have in my own right to self respect and dignity.

My dearest friend and my baby sister, both chose their guys and both went against their families to marry them. And at different times, they both have gone through hell ,,,it has sickened and amazed me how someone I know so well can let themselves feel so low that they will accept insult ! Despite my wanting to throttle their husbands with my bare hands, they have actually gone on the defensive with ME and found ways to explain away their(hubby's) anger and their own (self) inadequacies which were supposedly deserving of the anger and the following punishment !!

If you do some research, you'll find that sometimes the victim's mentality completely plays into an abuser's and its a difficult chain to break. The victim wants praise and acceptance only from the abuser - it can feel very helpless being on the outside sometimes.

Am glad to say that both of them have now become much stronger women and don't need to be looked after. But people like X need to be taken out sometimes on pretexts for a week/10 days etec and kept in a happy normal atmosphere so they can come back to normal and realize this is how life is supposed to be :)

Ya its really quite natural..what they are showing.its not unheard of for youngsters to get attracted to city life from a village existence...or for that matter a western way of living ...i think jagiya has got quite attracted to city life..and moreover he has got attracted to gauri as she's educated..smart and quite pretty...i saw tonights episode..very sad really...too much crying and torture being shown..i suppose its their way of showing the ill effects of child marriage...and anandi suffering will further more proove the ill effects of this practice child marriage which is really the basic theme of this show...and its reality if you come to think of it... it will be better for anandi to accept this reality and move on...i think the gauri jagiya track will follow...it seems they'll drag that as well...it will take ages before the whole truth is revealed!...

I think just like you but not many people think like us. I have seen women who don't wanna study because they don't wanna work...easy life is good for them. They proudly say, I am looking for a husband, preferably in US or europe who can earn for me and I can stay home! They are ready to take all the abuse as long as they don't have to work. One of my childhood friends shocked me. She has Law and MBA degrees from reputed university and worked for couple years before her marriage. Her husband is not abusive, but her in-laws are and her husband doesn't support her. Things became so bad once that the family was thinking about divorce. To my surprise, as soon as her husband came to visit her at her parents, she packed her bags and went with him. I asked her later why she is doing this and she said "I don't wanna go through the trouble of earning money, he will earn for me"😡! this thinking disgust me but then these people see me as too bold for a woman. I guess its just different thinking.

@Riamonk - are you serious? your friend said that? how disgusting ! I am appalled 😲... and I have no qualms in saying such women deserve the treatment they get...If one does not have self respect and does not want to get up and face life with courage then sorry, no sympathies from me at least ! I dont care what other's think of me...but its just the way I am...I cannot sympathise with human beings who dont have self respect and who dont love themselves...even god cannot help people who dont want to help themselves !

Originally posted by: divmath

@Riamonk - are you serious? your friend said that? how disgusting ! I am appalled 😲... and I have no qualms in saying such women deserve the treatment they get...If one does not have self respect and does not want to get up and face life with courage then sorry, no sympathies from me at least ! I dont care what other's think of me...but its just the way I am...I cannot sympathise with human beings who dont have self respect and who dont love themselves...even god cannot help people who dont want to help themselves !

I totally agree with you. This attitude disgust me as well.😡 Some suffer by fate others do by choice.

i get everything u guys are saying..sum women are unfortunately in the position where they cnt afford self-respect..maybe coz they are totally dependant on their families and in-laws..sum who have the idea of "perfect wife and bahu" ingrained so badly in thm tht they think its NORMAL to undergo abuse..i personally dnt judge these women..bt those who refuse to get out of their states just coz tht wud be DIFFICULT sadly deserve the abuse..u have to make efforts and get out of the cycle if u want a better life..sum say tht children get affected so lets continue..i personally dnt find tht a reason..children get affected WORSE wen they see their mother being treated like an animal..they either end up inculcating the same values shown to thm or end up being shy of relationships all their life...and sooner or later the abuse moves over frm the wife to the children..