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"You Are Shaan!"
This episode continued to build on the heartbreaking beauty of the previous one, which ended with Shaan gathering the strength to follow through with sending Rajni away. If that episode broke my heart into pieces, then this one took those pieces and made my heart whole again. What a beautiful culmination to a week of fantastic episodes!
What I love most about this episode is that Shaan is alone for the first time in a very, very long time. Rajni is not physically present next to him...and yet her presence persists. She has been dismantled...To the world, she might very well be dead now. But she lives within Shaan's mind, in his memory. She has touched his life so profoundly that she is a part of him. She is a part of his psyche. Rajni's existence and identity are so closely intertwined with Shaan's own that she and he are one and the same. Shaan + Rajni. ShaJni.
A machine in a box. That's all she is. She is no longer Shantanu Kant's Rajni. She is no longer his companion. As long as her memory chip stays with Shaan, Rajni Kant will be only a memory for those who knew her. She's not coming back.
Shaan closes the suitcase containing Rajni's parts and carefully zips it up. He sets it into an upright position and rests his chin on it. He pats it, strokes it, and rests his hand on its surface...just like he used to rest his head against Rajni's head, with his hand on her shoulder. He handles the bag with so much care. He doesn't drag it hurriedly to Room 408. Instead, he moves slowly, so very slowly, pushing it a little bit. And then he lifts it up. He wraps his arms around the large suitcase and carries it. He carries it all the way to Room 408. This is Shaan and Rajni's final embrace.
"Don't worry. Tumhara Shaan tumhe kahin nahi jaane dega." He realizes that he's putting Rajni into the wrong hands almost immediately. He speaks to her with words of reassurance even though she's not there. Rajni, his conscience, voice of reason, and moral compass, is in that suitcase, nothing more than pieces of metal. She can't possibly hear him because she's not even close to being alive. But Shaan still talks to her, maybe out of habit, maybe to reassure himself. He will not let her go anywhere. She is his responsibility. And he will take care of her. Shaan tries to make a break for it...but there's nowhere he can go.
"Ab tumhara iss robot ke saath rishta hamesha ke liye khatam. Tumse bada loser maine aaj tak nahi dekha!"
"I agree, Sir."
The irony is heart wrenching. Rajni wanted Shaan to prove his worth, intelligence, and dedication by delivering her to his boss. She was the one who urged him to honor his commitment even though he didn't want to do so. Now, Shaan has surrendered. He has given Rajni up. He has given up his life's work. And he has not been vindicated. His genius, his effort, none of that will be so much as acknowledged. He has lost. He has lost everything.
"Tum jab chali jaaogi, toh meri life ka sabse bada loss hoga. Shaan will be incomplete."
"Task complete. Ab Rajni...Matthew ki zimmedaari. Tera kuch nahi." Shaan falls back onto the bed he had shared with Rajni merely hours ago. Defeated. She is not here. He is alone. Incomplete. Again. As Shaan was always meant to be.
"Tumne kitna logically analyze kar ke mera naam rakha...'Pareshaan.' Tumhare jaane ke baad, yeh Shaan sach-much Pareshaan ho jaayega."
And suddenly...he is not alone. She is there, beside him, lying next to him. He turns slowly to look at her. His Rajni. She turns, offering him words of solace in the way only she can provide. "Shaan. Aap Shaan ho. Pareshaan nahi. Pareshaan mat ho."
I knew Rajni wouldn't be going anywhere in the long run, but I didn't know if she'd be in this episode at all. As a result, I couldn't quite believe my eyes when I first saw Rajni appear. 30 seconds of Rajni. That's all it took for my heart to start healing after the ending of the previous scene. 30 seconds of Ridhima onscreen. That inimitable speaking style, that steady gaze and serene smile. Seeing her there, it was like a missing puzzle piece had fallen back into place. I can only speak for myself when I say that this scene is a testament to how deeply Ridhima has left her mark on this show by being Rajni. She gives Rajni a heart and soul. Her absence, like Rajni's absence from Shaan's life, leaves a feeling of emptiness behind. Even if it's only for a few scenes.
Shaan realizes that he is alone again. "Ekdam alone...Empty." Alone, empty...and hallucinating. Not good. He has lost his direction in life, all that he worked for has been snatched away, and his emptiness is a bottomless chasm. He is falling, falling, falling...
"Kya karoon main ab? Kisse command doon? Kisse instructions doon? Kisse daantoon? Kis mein program daaloon? Karoon kya? Kuch hai hi nahi mere paas! Waapas aa jaao, Rajni, somehow...Please."
That last word is a whisper, a desperate plea of a man hoping for light in endless darkness. His mind tells him what Rajni would have. His logic manifests as her logic. "Yeh feature mujhme hai hi nahi." Shaan turns, eyes wide, to see Rajni again. As he looks at her, his expression changes. It softens. He smiles as she says those all-too-familiar words to him. "Aapko pata hona chahiye." He nods. Yes, yes, he does know. She cannot come back to him now. But that won't stop him from missing her and wishing that she could somehow come back.
"Mujhe pata hai!" Jolted back to his senses, Shaan spits his trademark response out to no one but himself. He knows better than to act like this! He knows that she's gone and not coming back. All the same, the man of science whirls around, searching for more ghosts of his memories of her. They're all in his mind. And try as he might, they won't leave.
Shaan loads Rajni's memory chip into his laptop. A 5'3" biorobotic beauty reduced to nothing more than a golden chip in his hand. "Bye, Rajni. I will miss you!" The mere act of loading her programs and seeing her system boot up makes him smile. Watching him wave as Rajni's "Bye bye bye bye bye!" came through the speakers made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. But that was nothing compared to watching Shaan's reactions to Rajni's "Make Shaan Perfect" program.
His brow furrowed, he delves into this program he has never seen before. Rajni did this. She made this, on her own, using Shaan's weaknesses as a checklist of tasks to deal with and complete. As he conquered his fears, she ticked off each checkbox. Task complete. Mission complete.
"Tum toh mujhe...ek human wife se bhi zyaada pyaar karti ho."
How fabulous is that shot of Shaan on the balcony, looking out over the sprawling city, as he thinks about what Rajni helped him to overcome? His fear of heights, his awkward inability to be romantic, his cowardice...She was by his side through it all. She never let him go, never lost faith that she could make him better, stronger...If a robot could have faith, this is what it would look like. It would look like what Rajni gave to Shaan. Support and encouragement at every step of the way on their journey together, until the very last step of her journey.
"IDIOT! Jaate jaate bhi woh tujhe better bana rahi thi, duffer! Tujhe kya laga? Haan?! Teri creation hai woh?! Arrey, TU uski creation hai! Tu! Tu! Tu ek complete robot banaane chala tha...Usne tujhe ek complete insaan banaaya, duffer!"
He is furious, absolutely furious with himself. Him and his ego. How many times has Shaan said "I am so proud of me!" during the time we have known him? How many times has he said "I am so proud of you, Rajni!" since the time she was activated? He began to appreciate Rajni for who she was, as a being instead of a machine, as a woman instead of humanoid...He had only just begun to get to know her as a person, had only just begun to appreciate her for her own intelligence and qualities...and she was taken away from him.
"Rajni...Main tumhe waapas laa ke rahoonga!"
"Yeh feature aap mein hai. Aap mein hai, Shaan."
Beside himself with rage, Shaan throws the pillows on the bed aside. He's breathing heavily, energy flowing through his mind and body again, determined to set things right. Shaan is all courage and determination now. At the sound of her voice, he looks up to see Rajni speaking to him, instilling confidence in him with a smile. She disappears a moment later, going back to where she now resides...
"Dil mein hai! Rajni! Yeh feature mujhme hai! Shaan tumhe bachaane aa raha hai! You are Shaan! Rajni and Shaan belong together!"
Logically speaking, she is forever embedded in his memories, in his mind. Poetically speaking, she resides in his heart, in his soul. There are different kinds of love...and yes, Shaan does love Rajni. She completes him. She is his missing piece, the one he didn't even know he needed until she left him. They are one.
Fan Fictions
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
