How long does it actually take to build a new habit? Perplexed, I decide to google it. Multiple websites pop up. A majority of them read, '21 Days'. But, is it actually possible to inculcate a new routine, a brand new mindset within the short span of 21 days?
I sigh. I really cannot take this anymore. Today, when I was dressing her wounds in front of the mirror, she looked at me nonchalantly and said that she wasn't pretty. I tried to correct her misconception but she remained adamant and asked me to stop using flattery to please her because she's sick.
How could she have said that? Is she really unaware of the hot mess just admiring her from afar makes me? How just one glance at her makes my heart beat faster? How my intention of catching a glimpse of her goes in vain every time as I stand, rooted to my place admiring her?
My jaw clenched at the thought of that ass Neeraj and her own father mistreating her, making her feel unworthy and ugly. She has suffered a lot in life, I am aware of this. But how can life be so cruel to such beautiful people like her ? This I guess is a question that Ill never know the answer to.
My Priya has indeed with time built concrete walls around herself. She assumes that these walls keep her safe from betrayal, safe from disappointment but I know how these walls have started closing on her. I saw her suffocate due to these walls today and they need to be broken.
With her, I shan't rush. Slowly, I will take her hand and take her away, with me, away from all sorrows and pain.
It won't be easy but my Priya is worth it and I will do everything to make her realise this as well.
From tomorrow morning, I will start our days by telling you how beautiful you are and sooner or later you will believe me. I promise. I exhale sharply and look at her sleeping form. Unknowingly, I too drifted to sleep.
The next morning, I wake up to find her sitting in front of the dressing table, struggling to comb her hair just like she was yesterday. I get off from the bed, straighten myself and walk up to her.
"Good morning" I chirp. She lifts her head and looks at me through the mirror. "Good morning, Mr Kapoor" she replies and almost immediately gets back to de tangling her hair. I smile at her and take the comb from her hand.
With her head still hung low, she pleads, "Aapko yeh karne ki zaroorat nahi hai Mr Kapoor. Mujhe comb de dijiye, I'll manage"
Paying no heed to her plea, I move closer to her back and from behind, lift her chin to look at me through the mirror. Her eyes meet mine and my heart skips a beat or two. I really can't keep a hold on anything right now let alone this count.
Clearing my throat, I spoke, "Priya, please help me help you. I know tum independent ho. Khudka kaam khud karna jaanti ho. But I really don't feel this is the right approach considering your health right now. I won't do anything if you don't want me to. But I request you, please don't say rob me of my right to care for my wife."
She continues to look at me with a blank expression on her face. I sigh and continue, "May I comb your hair, for you, Priya?"
For a split second, my heart clutched. I felt as if she'll rage on me, any minute now. But to my content, she subtly nodded instead. I smile wholeheartedly and begin combing her hair.
Mustering all the courage within me, I say, "You look nice Priya. Khoobsurat ho tum"
To my dismay, she didn't react at all. She sat there, looking at me, through the mirror as if she didn't hear me at all. Not even her eyes blinked. She sat there stoically as I finished tying her hair in a somewhat decent ponytail. When I was done, she sprang up from her seat amd walked straight to the toilet, without acknowledging my presence at all.
I stood there rubbing my forehead. I wasn't giving up this easily. I grabbed my clothes from our closet and headed to the guest room to freshen up.
The same incident repeated itself for the next 4 days. I would complement her and she would completely shun it aside.
But, on the sixth day, instead of completely ignoring my praise, she said, "Mr Kapoor you really don't need to lie to me everyday. It doesn't make me happier and also, sycophancy doesn't suit you"
I grin ear to ear and reply, "Priya firstly this isn't a lie and secondly, I compliment you for my own sanity. Mere pet mein baate rehti nahi. My stomach hurts whenever I keep secrets."
Upon hearing my reply, I see a faint smile on her lips that vanishes almost instantly. But, this was progress and I was happy. I have prepared myself for the scenario where she never loves me back and these small mercies from her side alone mean the world to me.
The very next day, I had a very important meeting. Kapoor industries were starting a brand new hotel chain and I needed to be present there.
As of recent, I have realized that if I was permitted, I would stay at home all day long. Since I got married to Priya, the workaholic in me has been dying in bits and pieces. I smile. My habits are changing in true senses. I wonder, if hers are too.
Half-heartedly, I bid Priya goodbye. Ofcourse I complemented her today as well but she simply brushed it away.
The eighth, ninth, tenth and eleventh days were no exception either. I tell her she's pretty she ignores it and both of us get around our routines. I sigh. It breaks me to know this side of hers.
The side that doesn't acknowledge herself at all, doesn't find herself worthy, is ignorant of her own charm.
All I can see is a little rah chalta puppy as she likes to call it. She had called me this once but I feel this nickname suits her better. She was a little girl finding her place in this world and when she couldn't, she concluded that no one in the world deserves to be troubled by her. But deep down, she does seek someone to simply be there for her. Nothing much, jut companionship and understanding.
I am waiting for you Priya. I come all the way to way but these last few steps are yours. And I sadly cannot take these on your part. I have come to you but you need to come towards me as well.
At this point, I was genuinely losing hope. Thousands of haywire scenarios played in my head together as I popped another anxiety pill into my mouth.
But here, on the twelfth day, for me hope finally arrived. When I did compliment her today, she smiled. She actually smiled! I couldn't register this at first and thats when she spoke up, "Ma and Sara Di dressed me up with extra bling today. Ma has arranged a small veneration in the nearby temple. She doesn't want any of us to accompany her but she was quite keen on dolling me up as if I were to be present there."
I smiled looking into her eyes. She thought she looked beautiful only because she had dressed up to look fancy today. I plan on clearing this bigot of hers soon but not today. I will take baby steps towards my beautiful Priya.
The next three days were highly uneventful. I was looking over new hotel chain lauch and barely had any moments with her other than the before sleeping and post waking up conversations, lunch time phone calls, dinner and her physiotherapy sessions.
And incase you were wondering, yes, she did go back to being a stoic compliment receiver. No smile, no reaction, no Priya leveled taunts.
On the fifteenth day, we went to visit her doctor who told me that she was now okay. And with a few more physiotherapy sessions she will be completely fit again.
I was elated. I internally thanked God for granting her such a speedy recovery
When I did compliment her the next day, I was in for a shock. She straight away looked at me, smiled and said, "Mr Kapoor, look at me. I am completely fine now. You don't need to continue this charade further. I know main khoobsurat nahi hu and I am okay with this. Please don't so this. Warna main aapke iss haseen jhoot ko sach maan lungi."
A lone tear rolled down her cheeks and I was a crying mess now. Without a second thought, I walked upto her and engulfed her in a hug bridging the distance between us. She almost instantly hugged me back. I sobbed nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck while she rested her head on my shoulder.
I broke the hug but didn't move back. Still holding her close, I rest my hand on her cheek and wiped the tears off her face.
Trying my best to sound assuring I spoke up, "Priya, you may dent this to yourself but this doesn't change the fact that you are very beautiful inside out. Aur main jhooth nahi bol raha tumse. Tumhe koi andaza nahi hai how stunning you look to me. Maine isse pehle tumhe compliment nahi diya because I was scared ki tum daantogi mujhe. But ab farak nahi padta. I will keep reminding you of how beautiful you are every day for the rest of time we have together."
She looking at me with tears glistening in her eyes. Her lips quivered as if she was going to burst out crying any minute now.
I waited for her to respond but suddenly aware of my gaze on her, she lowers her eyes and sniffling trys to look away.
"Samjhi tum?" I ask her. My heart raced and my stomach twirled anticipating her answer.
She nodded her head and said yes. I couldn't be happier. I wiped her tears fully and put my arms around her for yet another bear hug while whispering, "it's ok. My Beautiul Priya"
And this is when my wife blushed for the very first time in my company.
Slowly, gradually, this became a routine for us. I praise her beauty on a daily basis and she accepts it with grace.
At this point, overwhelmed by the output, I lose count of the days. Like everyday, I walk upto her today and say, “I can’t take my eyes off you”
She smiles and says, “you look okay as well Mr. Kapoor.”
I radiate with glee as I literally jump like a small kid while hearing her compliment. Suddenly, something struck me.
I immediately run to grab my phone. With shaking hands, I unlock it and open the calendar.
Today was the 21st day! I try to fathom everything and slump onto the bed. I was truly happy today. I don’t know if this 21 day thing is really true but I’m glad that I tried and to top it, it worked for me.
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Thank you for reading <3
This OS is a continuation from the ram dressing Priya’s wounds scene.
I know this one might be bleh but just clearing my drafts y’all.
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Indian Mythology
Sampoorna
CID
