Ram and Priya are both terrible siblings

Before you jump up, let me explain -- yes, they are both lovely people but their behaviour has adverse effects on both their families.

Ram feels like a pseudo father and is obsessed with giving all to his family. This is very dysfunctional behaviour and results in family members who have no idea how to cope with life's disappointments. As a parent/sibling, he needs to set boundaries and say "NO". To understand how destructive, it can be, take a listen to this psychologist - this was floating around whatsapp long time ago but it is a good listen if you have never seen it on why pampering your child is harmful and why parents do that.

https://youtu.be/Jiv2R2gyuYE

Coming back to Ram, if he feels not valued, it is partly because he has created the situation. When you jump to every whim of your siblings, then they have no sense of value or how hard it is to acheive these things. He has not taught them gratitude or hard work. Thats why they have no sense of appreciation. Then, when real life hits them hard, they are shocked and stunned. Stop mollycoddling them Ram! The world will not end if you say "No" to getting cupcakes after bakeries are closed. Give them a reality check for their own good because you have created adults with zero resilience and no idea of how to survive on their own when the storms come.

As for Priya, her overarching negativity means that no one can express hope or optimism around her. It doesn't matter if it is unrealistic but our life runs on hope and dreams. If someone keeps bursting the balloon at all times, then where is the joy? How does one live a fulfilled life if you are angry and bitter at every turn? And we see her siblings and mother almost walk on needles around her because they don't want to set her off. That isn't healthy is it? They should be able to talk it out and not feel like they have to walk around in circles around her. Yes, her life has been hard but they too haven't had it easy either. Priya needs to move on so that she stops giving out negative vibes around to all her family. Why? Because that sucks out their joy as well. That's why they all are desperate for her to get married. They feel (right or wrong) that somehow her getting married will fix all those vibes and Priya will turn to a happy person.

Lol Ram is a bad parent even though he isn't really a parent. He does need to stop spoiling them especially Shivi. She's extremely naive and is definitely going to have to learn a lot of things the hard way.

Coming to Priya, yeah she should let her siblings be happy the way they are and they should have also stopped pressurising her for marriage. I totally agree that it isn't healthy to make people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you and hopefully that will change.

But I wouldn't say that they are terrible siblings. Ram being a pseudo parent is also being enabled by Nandini who is an actual parent and should know how to bring Shivi to the ground. Priya is also grumpy and often makes her siblings sad but she does want them to be happy. I feel like they are flawed people and flawed siblings but have good intentions. They aren't perfect siblings but then again who is and until now they haven't displayed massive dysfunctional behaviour. I would count Ram's pampering if he was a parent but he isn't and there is an actual parent who can do the job.

good points hapc - in my view, it is a case where love can have side effects and they are not really good. so I have been wondering what is wrong with shivi and ultimately, yesterday's episode I felt ram is a mega culprit. even a five year old would know that you can't demand food after restaurants are closed. so why is he catering to her whim as if she is pregnant or ill on her death bed? besides she shouldn't be eating before the wedding anyway. 😆

and similarly with priya's family, they were all freaking out over whether priya will go to the police station and getting stressed. it is the last night together as a family before things change and it should have been a lovely time of building memories, having lots of laughs and sharing love.

so perhaps, terrible is too strong a word for the title but yea, definitely flawed and perhaps failing?

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

good points hapc - in my view, it is a case where love can have side effects and they are not really good. so I have been wondering what is wrong with shivi and ultimately, yesterday's episode I felt ram is a mega culprit. even a five year old would know that you can't demand food after restaurants are closed. so why is he catering to her whim as if she is pregnant or ill on her death bed? besides she shouldn't be eating before the wedding anyway. 😆

and similarly with priya's family, they were all freaking out over whether priya will go to the police station and getting stressed. it is the last night together as a family before things change and it should have been a lovely time of building memories, having lots of laughs and sharing love.

so perhaps, terrible is too strong a word for the title but yea, definitely flawed and perhaps failing?

Yeah I guess failing is an appropriate word. The police station thing I guess is justified but I have a bigger problem with her bursting their bubble too often. A little happiness didn't kill anyone. Ram is definitely spoiling Shivi too much but I would expect Shubham and Nandini to tell Ram that all this is going to harm her in the long run. Unlike Priya, no one has ever called out his behavior so I don't expect him to know where he is going wrong. However in s1 I guess Ram-Priya had spoilt their daughter Pihu way too much and I feel like this Ram might take a similar route. In that case I will definitely be more harsh.

Nice post ❤️ Definitely agree with the Ram part 👍🏼 He should take a chill pill with the family stuff. He has been running behind Shivi till now and now he is going to run behind Shubham to "settle" him He can get Shivi married or set up a business for Shubham, but he needs to realize that Shivi-Shubham need to do the actual work of making the marriage/business stick 🤨 I have been rooling my eyes seeing Shivi's marriage- if she expects Akki to cater to her tantrums then she is in for a rude shock 🤔 Or maybe she thinks Ram will still

As for Priya, I disagree. I am going to try to put forth my point- hope it does not come across as rude. But when you have constant money pressure, when you probably have to work 16 hours in a day or more(she seems to work in the bakery after normal work hours), and you have a scheming father causing trouble almost every day, it takes the humor out of life. She is probably exhausted, jaded, and hurting.

I am not sure about the eggshells part- I see a lot of normal families where the most vocal and persistent person gets followed- depite their age. Priya just seems naturally strong willed and puts forth her opinion passionately. But she has shown to accommodate other's wishes when sensible- like Brinda. She does not seem to particularly mollycoddle anyone or stop anyone from living their lives or wishes 😐

I find the response to Priya kind of disheartening. 😕 No sane person can undergo what Priya has undergone(almost 30 years considering childhood issues) and be bubbly and chirpy. ITV's stereotype of the FL who is happy and laughing despite all of life's difficulties is complete bs.

The Soods have issues. They do seem to talk it out and encourage each other. I am not sure what more can Priya do. Sometimes some family members are serious and less fun. There would be others to balance it out. Sandy and Akki seem to be the goofy siblings who balance the family out.

I would like to end with Priya's negativity has a basis in reality. It would be a problem if she blamed others or ran away from problems. But she owns issues and stands up for what she believes in. What bitterness she has will go away once she sees Ram's genuine care- because she has literally no example of a caring husband(Going to hold off judgement on Akki's dad- seems like a nice guy. But Mahendar Sood, Neeraj, Sara's absent husband are all enough to snuff out the happy feels)

Did Not mean to offend anyone. Please take this post with a pinch of salt.

Ram and Priya are two totally opposite kinds of parents we see in the world.

Ram is too lenient and is indeed raising spoilt brats in Shivi, Shubham and even Nandini. He really needs to learn to say NO to things that are not right. I hope Priya teaches him that.

On the other hand, Priya is a strict hitler parent jise sab darte hai. Her own family is scared to talk to her freely because unhe dar hai ki Priya daat degi. She need to mellow down a bit and become more approachable at least for her own family. Ram will probably help her mellow down a bit.

Both characters are equally amazing and flawed. They will help each other become better their selves after getting married.

@funny_fubar ~ so I will agree and disagree with you at the same time. hahahha.. so I know plenty of people who have had lots of challenges in their life and yet have such a fantastic sense of humour and know how to laugh. They don't sit there and let their problems or past dictate how they feel and view 100% of the time. For them, joy and happiness is not interdepent on circumstances or situations but their outlook and inner heart. Then there are the negative people who barely have any masala in their life but everything is such a drama.

So far the way they have shown Priya -- she comes across as exhausting to be honest. If there were more sarcastic comment in humour, I would find her entertaining. She seems even more of a joykill than Kashaf (who is the prototype for this Priya). I found Kashaf's sarcasm hilarious in parts and that seems to be missing here. In season 1, I loved that Priya who had a delightful chuckle in regards to life. Yes,she got hurt and she cried but she was fun to watch.

So yes, this Priya may have suffered especially with Mahendra Sood and Neeraj but does she need to suck the joy out at every turn even when nothing much is happening except the family hanging out? While those fake bubbly female leads are seriously annoying, we don't need to go the other extreme either. I watch dramas to be entertained. Difficult to explain but I feel that this version of Priya will still take some more shaping before she really captures the heart of many viewers.

Interesting post, but I would say Ram and Priya are themselves victims of a dysfunctional family and not vice-versa , therefore calling them terrible siblings is very inappropriate. Both of them have flaws, but equally are their family members flawed( Ram’s family does not even deserve to be called a family )

Ram

Ram is a man child. He yearns, pines , literally craves for love, but he is nowhere included in the Nandini-Shivini-Shubham trio. They pass through him, look through him. The only way for Ram, to feel a part of family, is by sacrificing himself into a wish fulfilling machine. The only time Shivina, would even think of hugging him, is when he fulfills her demand. We cannot put the onus of Shivina being a spoilt brat on Ram, when Nandini herself doesn’t reprimand Shivina enough, for her mistakes. Shivina comes across as really selfish and cunning. She knows to get her things done, not only with Ram, but also with Nandini, Shubham, and even Akki.

I want Ram to learn to say No, to draw boundaries but not for Shivina , but for his own well being. Every time he stretches himself to bring that smile on Shivi’s face, and when she looks through it, it hurts Ram, it affects his mental health and the vicious cycle of him being a wish fulfilling machine continues.

I feel him overeating is also directly related to the fact that he is has no one in the family, to share his tensions, anxiety. He has a so called family, yet is extremely lonely. Considering how fragile and soft hearted Ram is, he could have easily fallen into deep depression had it not been for some sensible friends . So I see Ram as victim of a dysfunctional family , and hence can empathize why he pampers and gives into every whims and fancy. Had it been a family in real sense, a family where he felt valued and loved, he would have felt free to scold Shivi, but here the moment there is a difference of opinion the family plays the sautela card in no time, hitting him where it hurts the most. Then from where will he get the security, the liberty to call them out, when they falter?

The only purpose of Ram’s life is to not make them feel Sautela , therefore them using this word, would make Ram attribute it as a personal failure and incapability.

Shivina’s own brother would never have done what Ram did for her. Marry a random stranger. This one selfless act is sufficient to show what gem of a brother he is.

My heart goes out for Ram, he needs to learn Self-love is not selfish.

Priya

She takes late night tuitions after finishing the college lectures, so that the bakery with which Sara’s family runs is not seized by the bank. Even now she has taken a personal loan on her name, so that the family is financially secured. She stopped Sandy from taking any financial help from her company, because loan or any help at such an early stage will be harmful for a career. Maitreyi married her ex. How much this would have broken her trust, yet how gracefully has she moved on from such a dirty past. Have never seen her taunting or name calling Maitreyi. How painful it must be for her ,when Neeraj insulted her ,before so many guests, yet she did not put curfew on Maitreyi-Neeraj from attending further functions. If she wanted she could have put Meera in a spot, by emotionally blackmailing her that if Neeraj is a part of celebrations , she will not get married. But she did not, why??Because at the end of the day Maitreyi is her sister, and Priya loves her.

I don’t agree that Priya does not let her sisters be happy. She doesn’t interfere in their personal lives. Maitreyi does flaunt her happy marriage without being empathetic , but Priya never retaliates. The only time I have seen her controlling their lives is when it is about money. She stopped them from ordering when they went on lunch. But these things are normal right? We all have this one member in our family, who is stingy, who would say why to order a watermelon juice in a fancy hotel , when you can make it at a much cheaper rate at home. And mostly, it is always that family member who has seen the world more than us, who has worked harder than us, who knows the value of every penny more than us.

Priya may be bossy and controlling, but that doesn’t make her a terrible sister. She may have a bitter tongue, but I would say actions speak louder than words. The amount of hard work and sacrifices she does, almost nullifies these things for me. Just like all fingers of a hand are not of the same size, each family member is different, each can have there own flaws and weakness, but at the end there should be mutual love and goodwill , which is very much present among the Sood’s.

Originally posted by: unicorn1

Ram and Priya are two totally opposite kinds of parents we see in the world.

Ram is too lenient and is indeed raising spoilt brats in Shivi, Shubham and even Nandini. He really needs to learn to say NO to things that are not right. I hope Priya teaches him that.

On the other hand, Priya is a strict hitler parent jise sab darte hai. Her own family is scared to talk to her freely because unhe dar hai ki Priya daat degi. She need to mellow down a bit and become more approachable at least for her own family. Ram will probably help her mellow down a bit.

Both characters are equally amazing and flawed. They will help each other become better their selves after getting married.

@funny_fubar -- figured out my feels after seeing @unicorn1 post.

So, her family are somewhat scared of her and that basically explains why I see Kashaf (the prototype for this Priya) and this Priya so differently. With Kashaf's family, they would get expasperated with her at times but they were all equals. They had conversations, disagreements, different points of view but the women were one unit and no one had different standing while conversting. Here, Priya's frustration and depression means that she stands separate from her family and it is mostly talking down to them or they trying to placate her. It does not feel as even as yet? I will also admit that I don't watch so closely 😆 but this is my impression. They are not united in some sense in the same way Ram is separate from his family and he has spoiled them that he is just an ATM machine to them.

Also, Kashaf was hilarious because she was mostly bringing Zarun down to earth and he frankly deserved it. With Ram's case, he seems like such a bechara. He didn't do anything bad as of yet but Priya is often chewing his head off for no reason. So rather than funny, I end up feeling sorry for him that he is getting so flustered and does not know what to do. I guess it is because Ram and Priya don't feel like equals in that sense of power -- whereas Adi and Vrinda for example are hilarious to watch. Ram seems like he is on a back foot while she is this lioness (like he calls her) who is a terror. So yea, we need to tone down this Priya so that we get the kind of dynamic that Adi and Vrinda have -- funny and amusing but at the same time, real and comfortable.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

@funny_fubar ~ so I will agree and disagree with you at the same time. hahahha.. so I know plenty of people who have had lots of challenges in their life and yet have such a fantastic sense of humour and know how to laugh. They don't sit there and let their problems or past dictate how they feel and view 100% of the time. For them, joy and happiness is not interdepent on circumstances or situations but their outlook and inner heart. Then there are the negative people who barely have any masala in their life but everything is such a drama.

So far the way they have shown Priya -- she comes across as exhausting to be honest. If there were more sarcastic comment in humour, I would find her entertaining. She seems even more of a joykill than Kashaf (who is the prototype for this Priya). I found Kashaf's sarcasm hilarious in parts and that seems to be missing here. In season 1, I loved that Priya who had a delightful chuckle in regards to life. Yes,she got hurt and she cried but she was fun to watch.

So yes, this Priya may have suffered especially with Mahendra Sood and Neeraj but does she need to suck the joy out at every turn even when nothing much is happening except the family hanging out? While those fake bubbly female leads are seriously annoying, we don't need to go the other extreme either. I watch dramas to be entertained. Difficult to explain but I feel that this version of Priya will still take some more shaping before she really captures the heart of many viewers.

Was reminded of this quote "Your trauma is valid. Even if other people have experienced ‘worse.’ Even if someone else who went through the same experience doesn’t feel debilitated by it. Even if it ‘could have been avoided.’ Even if it happened a long time ago. Even if no one knows. Your trauma is real and valid and you deserve a space to talk about it. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or attention-seeking. It’s self-care. It’s inconceivably brave. And regardless of the magnitude of your struggle, you’re allowed to take care of yourself by processing and unloading some of the pain you carry. Your pain matters. Your experience matters. And your healing matters. Nothing and no one can take that away"

Just because others have been through worst and are able to handle it, is no reason why someone else should be able to do it. It can be taken as inspiration, but not as a parameter of judgement. We need to look at these people with empathy and kindness.

Priya is unable to do the second part of the above quotation. She is unable to unload her pain, unable to heal herself with self-love.

Different people process pain and tragedies differently. A traumatic childhood, parental separation can cause serious mental health issues. Therefore, i see her as a victim.

I agree it would take a lot of time for ITV audience to warm up to Priya .