Confusing/Conflicting Values

OK, need your inputs/opinions

Why is it that its completely acceptable (in Sinha's view) to show Saakshi and Yash being all romantic and touchy-feely, whereas showing Sid-Aastha in a similar situation is "OOOOO...my...gosh" types? Are these not double standards? Or is it that he is trying to convey that if a woman is divorced it is but natural that she has a more physical relationship with a guy versus a so-called unmarried girl? I know a lot of males that think along these lines, and it ticks me off. I have actually heard a male friend tell me this - "divorcees are more likely to put out because they are experienced versus never-been-married types". I was so mad on hearing this that i basically cut all contact with that guy. Because i dont feel it has anything to do with wether someone is a virgin or not, relationships develop on the basis of trust/love/lust in the same manner either ways. Also the assumption that an unmarried girl is "pure" whereas a previously married girl is "available" is a misnomer in todays world and age.

What do you all think?

Originally posted by: krutilynn

OK, need your inputs/opinions

Why is it that its completely acceptable (in Sinha's view) to show Saakshi and Yash being all romantic and touchy-feely, whereas showing Sid-Aastha in a similar situation is "OOOOO...my...gosh" types? Are these not double standards? Or is it that he is trying to convey that if a woman is divorced it is but natural that she has a more physical relationship with a guy versus a so-called unmarried girl? I know a lot of males that think along these lines, and it ticks me off. I have actually heard a male friend tell me this - "divorcees are more likely to put out because they are experienced versus never-been-married types". I was so mad on hearing this that i basically cut all contact with that guy. Because i dont feel it has anything to do with wether someone is a virgin or not, relationships develop on the basis of trust/love/lust in the same manner either ways. Also the assumption that an unmarried girl is "pure" whereas a previously married girl is "available" is a misnomer in todays world and age.

What do you all think?

I agree with you Kruti..but unfortunately, in India, even today people see divorcees totally different compared to unmarried girl!!! (irrespecitve of whether that girl is pure or not)...

I think Sinhaji is trying to depict american culture between Yash and Sakshi and showing all touchy-feely scenes...and though Sid and Sia were aborad..couple of years, they act all ortho..simply bcoz guess sinhaji wants to show shadows of Simran's values....

These are purely my thoughts 😊

A very good point for discussion though

I completely agree with you. Love and trust are of paramount importance to any relationship and as long as they are there, it does not matter whether the ppl in question are virgins or previously married. Going by the same logic, Sid-Aastha's relationship has lots of trust, love and support for each other. The same cannot be said for Yash-Saakshi. I think Saakshi is still recovering from her broken marriage with Nakul and is leaning on Yash for support..she's not really in love with him. Yash is just infatuated with her which he thinks is love. However, to give him credit, he's not very comfortable with the idea of using her as a pawn..so there may be a shade of real respect for her. But still, in my opinion, Yash-Saakshi are completely unsuited for each other and it will be interesting to watch her reaction when she finds out about him 😊

Dotraj...you are right...its just disturbing that "values" are taken to mean that there cannot be any level of intimacy between two people in a relationship before marriage. I didnt watch Astitva pre-leap (unfortunately) so i dont know how intimately Abhi-Simran were portrayed, but i feel that certain level of intimacy is almost expected from two people who are in love and committed to each other - through social rituals or not. What Yash-Saakshi are doing is expectable in a couple that has discovered that they have strong and genuine feelings for each other. I would expect that from Sid-Aastha too...but they are shown to be even less romantic than Abhi's parents!!! 😆

Excellent observation ya !! Its practically scandalous for most Indians to belive that there has been any kind of intimacy before marriage even though one has love marriage and spends hours with their boyfriend. Funnily , when i was in school i saw such weird concepts of virtues and values . The prudishness was most often double standards . It was O.K to do one thing and wrong to do the other thing . On what basis these things were decided , i dunno !!

Also you are right about these whole divorced woman being available concept amongst us Indians . I saw that with a few of my divorced colleaugues . I over heard the men talking such crap and also the wives of those men talking in an insecure manner . as if every divorcee is a threat to their marriage . sheeshhhh !! Its sick !! 🤢

Originally posted by: dotraj

I think Sinhaji is trying to depict american culture between Yash and Sakshi and showing all touchy-feely scenes...and though Sid and Sia were aborad..couple of years, they act all ortho..simply bcoz guess sinhaji wants to show shadows of Simran's values....

These are purely my thoughts 😊

A very good point for discussion though

I completely agree with you, Rajini!! I think he is trying to depict Simran's values in Sia.. Also, this "Oh my God" reaction was by Simran and co.. and since Yash and Saakshi are not related to Simran - there is no one to say "Oh, my God" in this case - except for some gossip mongers in their guest house who any case don't count..

They may also be showing Saakshi's vulnerability in this case here - her being attracted to someone who is showering attention in this case..

Yes, divorcees are still frowned upon in India though that is changing some, albeit slowly..

Originally posted by: krutilynn

Dotraj...you are right...its just disturbing that "values" are taken to mean that there cannot be any level of intimacy between two people in a relationship before marriage. I didnt watch Astitva pre-leap (unfortunately) so i dont know how intimately Abhi-Simran were portrayed, but i feel that certain level of intimacy is almost expected from two people who are in love and committed to each other - through social rituals or not. What Yash-Saakshi are doing is expectable in a couple that has discovered that they have strong and genuine feelings for each other. I would expect that from Sid-Aastha too...but they are shown to be even less romantic than Abhi's parents!!! 😆

Well, Simran and Abhi were not physically intimate before marriage - not completely anyway:-) I think these values are completely dependent on the individual, nothing wrong if one wants to refrain from Pre-marital s** before marriage (I know many want to wait until marriage) and at the same time it is not a sin if two people in love and who plan on pursuing a long term relationship do have a physical relationship..It all depends on circumstances and situations - though PMS is quite heavily frowned upon in Indian middle class society..

Yeah, you are totally correct xyzzee - it all depends on circumstances and individuals... 👏

Fantastic Topic, very nice points said by all my co-members...

I do agree with whatever you all have said!!!

Though Abhi and Simran did not have any premarital relationship, they were very close to each other. Abhi was the usual romantic young guy who fell for Simran at first sight...

Now, when Astha and Sid were together in a park, they were romantic towards each other, no doubt about it. But, at the same time, they knew what they were doing. They just exchanged some kisses, spoke goody-goody romantic words to each other. This is very natural when 2 people are in love. Ya, here, AStha, we can say, has taken up some of Simran's qualities. Yash was the trouble -maker here. He went and told Abhi and Simran about this incident, in such a way that Abhi and Simran presumed Astha and Sid were seen in the park doing certain things which they should not be doing. Hence, this "Oh my God" expressions from them. This is but natural in any parent, bcos this was the way Yash sounded.

In SAkshi and yash's case, Yash is infatuated towards Sakshi. But, Ajai Sinha really needs a shake, so that he gets up from his dream. When Sakshi arrived in the serial, she was picturised as such a dignified lady, who was patient enough to hold on to the sick and rude behaviour of her husband. The ambition in her to work with Simran made her to take this decision of staying back, much against the permission of her own husband. She was having some marital problems, they both never had any kind of understanding is a different issue. Sakshi used this dejection in her love life here, took a decision to serve Simran's hospital.

She was shown as a very emotional woman, who still craved to get back to her husband, when she got the divorce papers. But suddenly, ther was a drop in her character with the entry of Yash. For Yash, this is nothing but infatuation. But this is not the case for Sakshi. Sakshi has probably come over the age of infatuation. For her, this is nothing but lust, definitely no love. She craves for intimacy from a person, which she got from Yash. This is so sick. Yash is a born good for nothing just like his mom. But, what is wrong with Sakshi here?

This is very bad of Ajai to have depicted a divorced woman to be desperate to get into another physical relationship. Not all women will be like this. The way Ajai has shown a sudden change in Sakshi's character is something which cannot be appreciated...

These are my viewpoint though.....Feel free to take me to the cleaners if i am wrong....😳

hehehe...i agree with what you said...so no cleaning for you 😆
That reminds me...i need to do laundry *darn it* 🤢