WARNING - 1200 WORD COMMENT!
Finally I made it here! God knows I had so much to say and so little time *sniff*Okay so cutting out of the drama and getting straight to the point... I really wanna give you a feedback and not just an awesome update comment cause I really think you deserve it. Hence I am dividing the update to what I loved, and what I didn't.
Is that cool?
Okay just a clarification in advance, what I didn't love doesn't mean that you are wrong or that I hate your story, it just means what you need to correct to make your story go seamlessly <3 Cause your story usually doesn't have logical errors <3
So what should I write first, what I loved? Or not?
Okay what I didn't love :
First of all Neha I have always admired your work and have been your fan in spite of you telling me how much you are a fan of mine. You do have immense potential... but I see it getting clouded with wrong judgement at a few places.
Little errors but each makes a -ve impact to the story, I truly doubt anyone else would point out but I truly wish your story goes to new heights one day.
Don't let this cloud your fictional story! These are just a few factual stuff I wanna tell you. Apart from that fictional stories are often taken with a grain of salt, don't let this disappoint you.
1) The way Neha is being handled.
I have been pretty close to a few alcoholics (who are thankfully hale and hearty today) and honestly speaking the way Neha is being handled is absolutely wrong. If I am not wrong she's being declared as an addict and not only as per psychology but as per case studies I have learnt that no addiction can be ceased unless there is medical attention. Neha needs medical attention right away and I have no idea why are Arjun and Aryan sitting like big fools and not taking her to the doctors right away.
Yes it's true that patient's will means the MOST in the path of recovery but there have been cases where at times an addicts has been bound by even ropes to get them to the rehabilitation centre.
Neither Arjun nor Aryan are professional psychiatrists and I don't see how each coaxing her with words will help. During conscience, yes Neha will fell bad and try to correct herself (as you aptly portrayed) but once the cycle of need of alcohol starts, everything is forgotten.
There have been violent cases of a husband stabbing his wife to get alcohol and once his need was complete, did he fall apart in knowing what had he committed in the lust of alcohol. He loved her, no doubt... but the phase of need can be so intense that one can even kill their loved one.
So please get to the part of her getting into medical attention ASAP, I don't know if you had this in store but this is for all those people who are out there;
If your family/friend/relative/colleague is suffering from alcohol addiction then please don't resort to counselling them on your own... it may lead to trouble more than help. Seek medical attention and rehabilitation services then and there.
Your words may bring conscience but delay in being put up in a rehab makes it more difficult to get her body away from the alcohol.
You see alcohol addiction isn't merely with the mind or will, it's with the body's physiological cycle (which you have again aptly shown.) And that has complete control over the addict.
Delay causes Death.
2) Aryan's punishment for Neha.
I have loved Aryan, he's my personal fav in RB. However this time I am highly disappointed. Just for factual information let me tell you that making an alcohol addict do strenuous exercise without having given the person adequate time to let the alcohol be absorbed by the cells and discharged from the body can be fatal.
What Aryan is doing for Neha is FATAL.
Especially for the heart. She could easily get a stroke.
Alcohol messes up with one's system...
What does hangover mean? It almost means the time taken by the body to absorb the the alcohol and let it ebb away from the body. Then a person comes to its senses.
By the way, coffee DOES NOT help in getting rid of hangover... in fact caffeine may worsen the situation. Go for plentiful of water and heavy protein rich food.
Myth buster : The only thing which lets off the hangover is time, nothing else. So it's best to eat immense nutritious food and have lots of water to let the hangover be a relatively easy journey.
3) Her lover's role in the situation.
I still find Karan to be highly immature while handling Neha. Honestly speaking the first thing he should do is inform the "A" bros and tell them she's drinking again. Showering his love is great, but if he himself is taking no step in looking to the fact that her drinking habits are gone... he's not worth being her husband.
For he'll become a widow soon.
So karan, instead of being a kid and pouting about. Be vigilant! Be around with your love and make sure she doesn't get to drink! Find ways to help your love... she'll then remain with you for the rest of your life to pamper and ease your anger and irritation.
So Neha, I am sure you have got my msg. If you need any help, tip or case studies for this alcohol part of it - I'm just a click away!
WHAT i loved!
1) Highly realistic characters.
Neha isn't the flawless perfect protagonist. She has her own shade of greys and her faults. I am glad to see that she isn't a statue of facing all the pain. SHe cries, she breaks, she stumbles but then rises again! Hats off to portraying such a character!
I completely love her and the way you have crafted her! Sheer brilliance!
2) Aware siblings.
I really love the fact tht instead of lamenting what's gone wrong with Neha and running like headless chickens, the RR bros are being aware and trying to find out what has gone wrong with their dear little sister.
Often people miss out on this, they're like let's give her time and space but what they don't realise that trying to understand the issue would actually so many problems!
Glad for spreading about the importance of awareness!
3) The plot...
You have engaged me in this story from scratch and lady do I love this story! The twists and turns and everything is brilliant! Nothing is feeling like wait, this doesn't make sense or this is a boring update - rather everything is going in such a manner that one would be bound to be hooked by it!
*Hats off again*
It ain't easy to pull off such a story! You are a very capable writer!
Hope this comment makes up for all the time I lost!
To others : will post ur comments too!
With lots of love and affection!
You know who!
Edited by IArmageddonI - 10 years ago
Music Corner
