This time the POVs are kinda mixed since I wanted to show what they are both feeling! Hope it doesnt confuse you as you read😃
Chapter 4 - Hope
Arjun
I expect her to jump out of joy, or even cry, like she sometimes does. Out of the blue. Yet she doesn't. I see her turn into stone in front of my eyes. She isn't blinking or breathing. For a moment, the time seems still, as if someone had pressed the pause button on life. The breeze has picked up in the balcony and it blows loose strands of her hair across her face, concealing her eyes.
"Sakshi...?" I whisper to her, too afraid to touch her lest she crumbles away at my touch.
She doesn't respond to my voice. She looks so fragile as she sits in front of me, as if she were made of glass.
"Sakshi...?" This time I reach out for her face and gently touch her cheeks.
She flinches at my touch and all of a sudden, she is alive again. She is breathing again, but her breathing is rapid. Fear grips me and I cup her face, brushing away the loose strands of hair from her face.
She clasps my hand, brings it down from her face and says, "Arjun...what did you just say?"
This time, I say it slowly. I feel happiness surging through me as I repeat for her.
"They found you a donor. You will be able to see again."
She breathes in sharply and gets up. I reach out for her, but she raises her hand to stop me. Sometimes I wonder how she can predict my movements so well, when she cannot see.
I see her approaching the rails and I get up instantly. Sometimes I feel I look out a bit more for her than I should. She is a strong person. I have always known that. And yet, at every moment I want to protect her. I am too afraid to lose her. I might be her eyes, but she is my vision.
She is the reason I live. It isn't easy to see her like this.
Sometimes I become selfish and wish for her vision, just so she could see me. Just so she could see it in my eyes, how much I love her.
Sakshi
I grope my way across to the railing. I am leaning out, breathing in the night air. There is always something different about how the air feels at night. I can always differentiate between night and day just by breathing. But tonight, everything thing feels unreal. Different. What he has just said to me feels unreal. It cannot be. My heart refuses to believe what he just told me. Is it really possible that I might be able to see after so many years?
Can I actually see what red, yellow, green, white, blue looks like?
I feel him coming closer to me and I take a deep breath. He stands at a little distance from me, too afraid to move closer and I smile.
I at last find my voice and I murmur, "Arjun...?"
I hear him breathe out and come closer to me. He is now standing at my side and I reach for his hands. He takes my hand and grips it tightly, reassuring me of his presence.
Unknowingly, my eyes have welled up and I feel a tear rolling down my cheek. I feel his fingers wiping the tear away and I flinch at the sudden gesture. His touch reminds me again that this is reality. It isn't a dream.
"Don't spoil me, Arjun." I try to blink back my tears.
"It's ok. Let them fall. I am here for you."
So, I do. I let my tears flow out. I am laughing and crying at the same time, words failing me. He stands by my side, holding on to my hand as the tears leak out of my eyes. I don't know how long I cried. But he never let my cheeks get wet.
"Slap me, Arjun." I am now grinning. My heartbeat has slowed down to its normal pace. And my eyes have dried.
He laughs and says, "I can do it you know. Think before you speak, Miss Sakshi Anand."
"Is this for real, Arjun?"
"Of course it is, you idiot."
I reach out to touch his face, feeling his cheeks against my fingers...and his smile. The feel of his curved lips always brings a smile upon my face.
"Does that mean I can finally see you?" I say.
"Out of all the things you get to see, you mention me first?"
"You are my eyes. How can I see anything before I have seen my eyes?"
Arjun
I have never seen her like this. This is what I had always wanted to see. The happiness on her face, the purest kind. I know she has learnt to live like this, through me. But I could always see the flicker of desire in her eyes. Her wish to actually see the world, the colours, the rain, the sunshine, the sunsets and the sunrises. I put my arm around her as we listen to the sound of the traffic below her flat. I have closed my eyes so I only hear and feel, just like her. It does seem so unreal.
I stay quiet as she blabbers constantly about random things. I always have loved listening to her, even though I act to be annoyed when she speaks too much. Tonight, I listen.
She keeps her fingers entwined in mine. I like how her fingers feel against mine, soft, warm and ...like happiness.
We do not sleep all night. She refuses to sleep. Instead, we stay on the balcony, hugging our cups of cutting chai and coffee. She has switched on the radio on full volume just near the balcony door. Her neighbour had come knocking on the door, requesting us to turn down the volume. But after he left, she just tugged my sleeve and said, let it be, Arjun, a mischievous smile on her face. So we ignore the doorbells and shouts outside and retreat to the balcony, the radio still on full volume.
She is back to her unpredictable and vibrant self. I laugh as she shouts out of the balcony at the top of her voice, "I will be able to seee. Did you hear me?"
I laugh and shout along with her. Stupid, random things.
I forget the fact that I have to return to the ETF headquarters the next day. I forget that I am ACP Arjun Rawte.
***
"You don't want to go home or what?"
I look up, briefly, to see Sam walking towards me, a concerned look on his face. I nod and immerse myself in the case file.
"Rawte. It is 2 o'clock." He sounds irritated now. I put my file aside and look up at him.
"So?"
"Isn't she getting her operation done tomorrow?"
"Who?"
"Don't act dumb Rawte! You know who. Sakshi, aur kaun?"
I nod again. I cannot work. I cannot sleep tonight. Fearful thoughts keep running through my head. What if something goes wrong? What if matters get worse? What if I lose her?
I probably should have stayed with her.
As if my best friend can read my mind he says, "You should have stayed with her. You needn't have come in."
I sigh and reply, "She needs her sleep. She wouldn't have slept if I had been at her side. Two nervous people should never stay together." I laugh nervously.
"Everything will be fine. You are worrying needlessly." He places a hand on my shoulder and I smile back at him.
We both jump when my phone starts vibrating on the table. I see her name flashing on it and I wonder if she is having a sleepless night as well.
"Arjun?" The sound of her voice sends a chill up my spine. I hear the terror in her voice.
"Sakshi? What happened? Are you ok?"
I start digging through the files for my car keys when Sam puts his hand out towards me, offering me his car keys.
"Arjun...I need you here. Please..." She whispers through the phone.
"Ok...I am coming. Stay on the phone..."
"Drive safe, Rawte." Sam shouts at me as I run towards the door.
I mouth a quick thank you to him before I get out of the office.
***
I don't knock on her door. Instead, I use the spare key I have to her flat and walk in. I search frantically in the every room, but they are dark and empty. Terror seizes me as I keep shouting her name to the darkness, but there isn't any reply. My hands are shaking as I reach for my phone, dialling her number.
I hear her phone ring within the flat.
At that moment it strikes me, where she might be.
I dart down the stairs, hoping and praying that I am right.
***
She stands there under the moonlight, hugging her arms to herself. Her eyes stare into the calm, empty sea. A lone figure, standing at the Marine Drive.
I finally feel myself being able to breathe again as I approach her and stand by her side.
Perhaps she senses my presence, because I see her trying to find my hand. Her fingers are stone cold as I touch them and I flinch.
"I am scared, Arjun." She says.
I feel her tense body besides me and I want to wrap my arms around her. It is the first time I noticed such dread in her eyes. I don't reply. Instead, I let her speak.
"I am scared. What if something goes wrong? I am holding on to this hope that seems too good to be true. It shines in the distance, but when I try to hold it, it fades away. Like it never existed. I am too afraid to hope for something. I don't think I can bear it if it slips away from me, like sand. Like time."
Her fingers are gripping mine so tight that I can feel her pulse. I can feel the blood rushing through her fingers.
"Nothing of that sort will happen." I finally speak.
"How do you know?"
"Do you trust me?"
I take her by the shoulders, and turn her around to face me. My hands slowly reach for her face, touching her cold cheeks.
"Yes. More than myself." She replies. I feel her body relaxing to my touch.
I take her in my arms then, gently caressing her hair. She breathes out as she feels my arms around her. Her hands are clutching on to my shirt, clasping it tight in her fist.
"It will be fine. Everything will be fine." I speak to her softly, trying to reassure her more than myself. I don't tell her that her fear resides in my heart as well. That if anything goes wrong, I will be crushed and I wouldn't know how to pick myself up.
But I need to be strong. If not for me, for her.
Sakshi
I feel so safe in his arms, I don't want him to let go. Ever. I believe in him. I trust him more than I trust myself. I feel myself blurting out my fears as he holds me on that empty road. I feel myself telling him about facing a world I haven't seen in years. I tell him about facing a world full of colours after my mono-coloured world. I tell him about the unknown challenges the world holds for me, if I am able to see.
And all he says in the end is that it will all be fine. Because he is with me.
In just under a couple of minutes, he has managed to wash away all my fears that now retreat into the sea that lies just beneath me. Somewhere.
I wonder if I will actually be able to see what it looks like the next time I come here.
***
"We should make a list." He says.
I am lying on a white hospital bed, waiting. There is only about an hour left for the operation. I haven't felt so nervous in my entire life. But he is here, trying to calm me even though he is rather nervous himself. I chuckle to myself as I hear him pacing around the hospital room.
"What list?" I ask.
I feel him settle down by my side. His palm is cold with sweat as he places it on my arm.
I put my hand on his and ask, "Are you nervous ACP Arjun Rawte?"
"Me? Nervous? No!"
I laugh and reply, "Fine, don't admit it. What list?"
"You know. The things you want to see first."
I hear him opening and closing the drawers, trying to find something.
"What are you looking for?"
He exclaims out loud and settles down by my side once more.
"Pen and paper. So. What do you want to see the most?" His voice is brimming with excitement.
I giggle at his sudden enthusiasm. He comes up with the most ingenious ideas sometimes.
I lean back against my pillow and try to think what I want to see the most.
"A sunrise." I say, a wide smile on my face. I hear him scribbling as I blurt out my wishes, my desires to him.
The sea. The place that has always provided me solace.
Rain.
The blue sky he always talks about, with the white clouds floating by.
Butterflies, with their colourful wings.
The list goes on. He doesn't tire, but keeps on scribbling. His excited voice reaches me as he keeps adding to my list. This and that. Time ticks by as we talk, laugh and dream.
I am not nervous anymore. Instead, I lean back and close my eyes, dreaming of the moment when I will actually be able to see his face.
When the doctor pops into my room, I feel his fingers pressing mine firmly, just to reassure me that everything will be fine.
I nod as I am taken towards the operation theatre. He doesn't let go until the doctor says, it is time. I feel his fingers slipping from mine as I am taken inside.
The last words I hear before the doors are closed belong to him.
"I will be here. Waiting for you."
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Sorry, likhte likhte got a bit long haha
So, how was it? Jaldi jaldi leave your comments pretty pleaseee😳
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