OS: Confused state of mind

Past midnight yet she laid awake, she couldnt bring herself to sleep...
no! Her mind and heart were clogged up with pain...
his pain...
She wasnt at peace,
she could'nt be;
His blank eyes screamed out to her,
he was suffering...
she couldnt bear to see that!
It was intolerable...
How could she sleep knowing that sleep evaded him?

She wanted to console him, to engulf him in her warm embrace, she wanted or rather needed to assure him that she was always there.

But why? What was he to her? Why did he matter so much?
He had never left one chance to insult her, then why was she so concerned for him?
Why did his sorrows make her miserable;

She tossed in her bed,
angry at herself for naming him as a nobody, and for being incapable of reducing his agony...

Her misery had turned to anger and that confused her...
What did she realy want?

His pain reduced, no doubt.
but did she want herself to be the one doing it?

She took a deep breath hoping it would calm her nerves & clear her head.
But one factor she couldn't deny...

she longed for him?
His pain attracted her!
Was it just attraction? Just infatuation?
It couldn't be!

She kept awake half the night thinking these over,
she sent aprayer to the lord to ease up his agony...
And to help her herself realise her true feelings...
This confusion would drive her mad!

Mann jaage saari raat,
Mera deewana...
Mann maane na ye baat,
ke wo tha begaana...
Hai khud se hi...
Khafa khafa...
Kya chahiye...?
Nahi pataaa...!
Baawaraa...!


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