Anupamaa Frustration Thread # 1 [DT NOTE PAGE 69,71] - Page 62

Exactly why should anyone trust AnuRaj except for that idiot Anuj:

1. Kavya and her unborn kid thrown out of rick. Had to manage everything alone.

2. Vanraj proved mentally unfit.

3. Baa - Bapuji attacked ( could be real next time)

4. Anuj attack could have been gruesome and very cruel with the sword.

When no one can provide any protection, which person wouldn't think about Pari, Baa - Bapuji first?

Anupama has always maintained that only Vanraj has rights over Samar, so why should any Kapadia including Anuj fight for Samar? On the basis of which relation should they endanger their life for Samar? Say, the goon would have used the sword on Barkha or Ankush to give a warning to Anuj?

I have completely lost sympathy for that bloodline obsessed ghost anyway. He didn't meet Kavya or Kinjal or Adhik or Anuj. I think, Dimpy was included only because his bloodline kid is in her tummy.

This track has lost any impact it had on me since the Navratri celebration.

So, Devika was brought to honey trap Sonu's friend and that plan failed, so she was brought for nothing?

Feel a sudden and sheer lack of interest in all of the discourse over the antics of this hypocritical, disgusting, shameless, characterless, vile, unpaid maid. Running out of epithets for her despicable behaviour now and it's never going to change. Let her keep digging deep for gold or two timing as much as she wants. Happy holidays to all of you

Originally posted by: ShahH8er

Feel a sudden and sheer lack of interest in all of the discourse over the antics of this hypocritical, disgusting, shameless, characterless, vile, unpaid maid. Running out of epithets for her despicable behaviour now and it's never going to change. Let her keep digging deep for gold or two timing as much as she wants. Happy holidays to all of you

https://x.com/_maanxpyaar_/status/1724412918018785639?s=20

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

https://x.com/_maanxpyaar_/status/1724412918018785639?s=20

Everything I liked about Anupama initially was based more on hypothesis and would be explanations where I was waiting for her to change with new found purpose, strength and wisdom.

But, when I look back, she was always very problematic character and that never changed. In fact she became everything I abhore about patriarchy.

Anyway... It's hard to write about everything because then I will have to create multiple posts but I would like to mention several things which I find especially problematic.

1) She never took her share of properties when she was Shah's Bahu but was fine with having everything on her name when she became "Mrs Kapadia"..

Well... Legality aside.. mai Anupama ke argument use karke hi baat rakhungi. According to Anupama, that (zoo)house belonged to one and only her baapuji (and Mr. Shah). Jis Ghar me wo 26 saal rahi, jis ghar me usne 26 saal unpaid labor kiya (physical, emotional, sexual, childcare) aur abuse saha.. us ghar ne jisne use Padhai puri nahi karne di, Dancer nahi banne diya, aur middle age me "Zero" se start karne ko majbur kiya (don't forget hamari Anupama Devi ji Cancer Survivor bhi hain), us ghar me wo kuch bhi deserve nahi karti??? Legally speaking, to Mr. Shah se to wo bahut kuch "owe" (property wise) karti hain. Wo unke against DV ka case file kar sakti hai. Anyway. She only threated to file case against Kavya, never her pyari Baa and Mr. Shah.

But, thode bahut dikhaawati "hesitation" ke baad she was actually okay to inherit everything when she married Anuj Kapadia. Kaun sa logic tha yaha? She could have denied here as well! I mean, what they are trying to teach us? Ki women ka koi "right" nahi hota hai lekin ye ek "right men" ke "epic love" par depend karta hai ki wo hamare sab kuch naam kar de!

Anyway... Sab kuch Anuj ka tha bhi nahi. I understand his feelings against MD, he doesn't owe anything to her except may be to show some humanity which doesn't depend on personal relationships. Lekin, how could he forget that he has a loving sister as well! Ek din Bhaisahab ke man me aaya to Sara jaydaad Malvika ke naam kar diya (More to cause emotional burden to her and with guilty complex ki mai to "real waaris" nahi hu)! Lekin fir Malvika ne emotional trauma and wounded love mentality ke chalte waapis sab uske naam kar diya to he then transferred everything to "Anupama"! Waah!

What about Late Kapadias? What about their lagacy? What about Mukku's legal rights as 50% owner of everything Kapadias hold? Even though Ankush and Barkha are nothing but opportunistic, vile and good for nothing people but they too can claim some tiny share in Kapadia's empire (legally speaking).

2) She has no dedication towards her career, education, dancing... anything that is necessary for individual development and individual fulfilment:

Only thing she ever take it seriously is her undying devotion to Mr. Shah and his family and her good for nothing children. She constantly ignore Anuj (except dancing with him in Kitchen), Choti Anu, her degree course in whatever college, her health (yup, she is cancer survivor), her career (I don't know ki wo Kapadia Empire ke liye kis tarah se beneficial hai, kya karti hai, I can't comphrend.), her dance (waise bhi uska dance to 90s ka bollywood number hi hota hai), her well-being (we never saw her to go Gym, to jogging in a park, visiting saloon, meeting people who are close to Kapadias). Everything about her is Mr. Shah and Mr. Shah only.

3) Anupama and this show hates women:

Since the beginning, agar koi aurat Mr. Shah ko bhaav nahi deti, Career-orientated hai, individual hai, use ye Show "Vamp", "Crazy", "Mad" women ke roop me depict kar rha hai.

Ameer hokar bhi Anuj "mahan" hain lekin Kinjal ki maa "Naagin" hai.

Kavya "characterless, neurotic, selfish" hai, Sweety "Opportunistic, selfish", Barkha "Manipulative, Lazy, incapable, plotter" hai, Maya "crazy" hai, Dimpy "Battamij" hai, lastes supply MD to hain hi "evil incarnate."

Wahi women thik hain jo Anupama ki tarah keval naakare Men and only men ke liye saans le rahi hain. They make mistakes occasionally but they are not "evil."

4) "Baa" mahan hain, Period.

Baa ko aazadi hai ki wo dusri women ko torment kare, kyonki.... Wo Anupama ki "Baa" hain, old hain.

BAA ke Karnamo ki list bahut lambi hai. Anupama ko emotionally, financially abuse karna.. Fir Malvika ke against Mr. Shah ki saazish me bete ka saath dena, Dimpy ko sirf isliye torment karna kyonki:

1) she is rape survivor

2) She can't bootlick

3) she isn't rich like "Piyaari Kinjal"

She emotionally encouraged MD to commit suicide which is a crime btw.

Anyway... The list is endless.

What this is about:

If you're a woman you don't need to worry:

Tum Padhai aur Career par nahi Mr. Shah par focus Karo, Kanha ji se, Tulsi Mata se, Suraj Bhagwan se baat karo... To ek din ek Prine Charming aayega aur tumhare jaisi "Sanskari Cindrella" ko byaah kar le jayega aur saari jaydaad uske naam kar dega!

Aur lastly about mental health...

5) Women's mental health is a joke!

Jaise "mard ko dard nahi hota" ye pop culture myth hai jiska reality se kam hi lena dena hai. In typical patriarchal houses, men's health (including mental health) is always prioritized and women's health is neglected. Mental health ke mamle me bhi problem "social stigma", "unawareness", aur mard ke is attitude ki "mujhe koi dikkat nahi hai".

Lekin academic circles me, social media par, aur TV par Ameer log ye prove karne me lage hain ki aurat to "Shakti" ka rup hai aur wo "rokar" sare gam bhula deti hai aur men don't have that. Bakwas! Batao DV/rape jhelne wali aurat is baat ke liye kiske samne royegi? Apne abuser gharwalo ke samne ya un women ke samne jo women ke sath crime ke liye women ko hi blame karti hain??? Women literally don't get space to share her major problems/pain. Only thing she is allowed to share that doesn't malign her family's name and something that is considered every women's issues. Like: "meri saas to bahut kharab hai, meri to nanand aisi hai, mai hi sara kaam karti hu, mere bachhe ki tabiyat kharab hai, meri daftar ki female coworkers ne ye ye kaha/kiya"

Show me unhone Malvika ke years long Domestic Violence ko takiye ke saath maar Peet aur "Chak de chake" gaane me samet diya! She was practically abandoned after whatever happened to her. Her pain was depicted to highlight Anuj's guilt and Malvika's inability to know who is right for her. After her ordeal, Vanraj (Anupama ke Mishter Shah) manipulated her so that he can use her to fulfill his ambitions.

Then... Teenage Pakhi (FYI, ghar me baccho ka kisi ke sath DV hote dekhna unhe bhi DV victim hi banata hai) was depressed because she had to witness fights on daily basis. I am not saying she is some kind of angel but that is irrelevant point. Koi kaisa insaaan ho, ye sab uske saath nahi hona chahiye. Again, in today's episode Anupama said to Adhik, "ise samjhaao!" Jo aadmi kuch time pahle uski beti ko peet Raha tha, wo samjhaye Pakhi ko? Aur jab beti ne upbringing me yahi seekha hai to fir usse kya ummed kar rhi thi devi ji? When she defended Adhik to kyo kah rahi thi ki wo aisa na kare?

Then... Rape survivor Dimpy ko to show ne (aur audience ne bhi) characterelss, selfish, ehsaanfaramosh aur jaane kya kya kaha! Show me uske mental health par pade impact ko nahi dikhaya ki kaise use "professional help" ki jarurat hai. Nahi, she was mentally harassed by Baa from the start. Once she started to do the same she became "evil!" But Audience couldn't comphrend the very simple thing: ki wo to "script" ke hisaab se Aisa kar rhi thi. She was written to glorify "Anupama" and how people like Dimpy are ungrateful! Bhai "rape" survivor ke saath basic humanity bhale koi nahi show karta par agar koi aisa kare to kya use "ehsaan" kaha jayega? Not in my book. Talk about basic human decency! And it is totally different thant a favor you do for nepotistic reasons.

Worst treatment to inhone "Maya" ke saath kiya. Ek human trafficking survivor, self-made strong women ko pahle to "crazy" dikhaya.. ki she has no qualms about destroying someone's home? Ki ek Independent women ki life "men" ke Bina kuch nahi? Ki ek women ki mental illness uska "naatak" hai (as Kinjal said). Aur they never showed her to take professional help (therapy+ medicines).

Khud Anupama said to her Baapuji ki "I don't need professional help because I have you!" Wow! Way to trivialise mental health issues.

But they showed:

1) Toshu taking mental health counseling after he cheated on Kinjal and abducted Pari.

Though it was Kinjal who was cheated on, and she was weak due to being a new mother and she was constantly manipulated by Baa and Vanraj.. yet they never showed her need to take counseling and take some time off for her health! Instead Anupama said: "maa ko dukhi hone ka time nahi hota!" Wow! Wonderful!

2) Vanraj taking help

Because well, Samar died. Jabki he never cared for him when he was alive. Though it is legit pain. And yes, it is understandable. But specifically showing his pain (everybody is perfectly fine. In fact they are behaving like nothing has happened) they are making us to believe that somehow men's pain are more important than everyone else and they are poor souls who were misunderstood all their life!! Bohooo!

3) Anuj was mentally devastated after Choti Anu was taken by Maya.

His pain was real. But they only showed it to create a plot point against Maya. That's all. And it was again focused on "Anupama ki udaan" and grand entry of MD.

And again, his mental health concerns are shown but neglected by Anupama regarding MD.

4) Samar's mental health struggles were shown realistically (thoda bahut)

But it was shown to create drama in favor of Anupama. For this Vanraj never apologized and Anupama never called out Vanraj for the same. He was not shown to take professional help but he needed the most (more than Pakhi and Toshu) because he was made to feel low since his childhood by his own father.

Beautifully written thanks for the tag, I agree with everything that you have said. Anupamaa truly is a problematic character and it is evident from her current actions however back then we couldn’t realise this as we used to sympathise with her for being abused by her toxic Ex and Ex In Laws but post her marriage with Anuj it is clear that she is the actual red flag. She should’ve listened to Kanta and cut all ties with the Shameless Shahs to easily live a happy and peaceful life with Anuj and CA but no madam has to be mahaan and has to continue serving her royal masters for no good reason. The Shameless Shahs are disgusting, characterless people who abuse/taunt her, cause problems for her and constantly take advantage of her yet she still serves them and treats that filthy phemli like her Maayka instead of her real mother and brother who actually care for her.

Any sane character like Maaya, Rakhi or Malti Devi who try to show Anupamaa her wrong doings and give her a reality check are shunned and showed in bad light no matter how much sense they speak.

In order words this character has been ruined to the core and is now shown as a shameless, pathetic, disgusting, characterless fool obsessed with her toxic Ex In Laws. In reality this disgusting show should just end or be banned as it is giving the wrong message to society and real women out their who might be influenced by Anupamaa’s disgusting behaviour.

Before everyone decides to jump on my throat, I want to clarify a few things:

1) This is how I see Anuj from the start. He only proved me right.

2) I like Gaurav Khanna as Anuj and his jodi with Anupama looks cute and funny. I liked their romantic scene. Initially, it was really good.

3) I enjoyed Anuj-Anupama's romance (apne dimaag ko kone me rakhkar).

Now I will point out the reasons why do I find Anuj's character problematic:

1) It's unhealthy (unrealistic) to harbor so called feelings for one person for 26 years and not able to move on

Anuj ke case me to ye move on karne walo baat bhi nahi thi. He never had real relationship with Anupama. Anupama didn't even know who he was when they were in college. Makers are still showing bollywoodiya type of unrealistic love (of men) where you don't need to know anything about women's personality and her wants, you just simply confuse infatuation with love! Bas face dekha aur lattu ho gaye! Anuj ke case me, usne Anupama ka dance dekha.. aur wo pagal ho gaya! Ye log 1995 me college me the. Bhai us time par to MJ ke dance ka craze tha! Anupama ko MJ (impossibly talented) jaisa hi dikha dete! Par talent se impress hone ka connection hai pyaar ka nahi.

Shaadi byaah ya relationship ke mamle me bhi... Divorcee/Widow/widowers ka move on karna normal hai, healthy, progressive hai aur jaruri bhi hai. Kuch log nahi bhulte... To wo bhi kisi "actual" relationship (long, mostly with children are involved) ke case me hota hai. Anyway.. my point is it's not cool to show Anuj hasn't found anyone all these years.

Aur ye dusri women ke liye bhi demeaning hai aur Anuj ke mental state par bhi sawaliya nishaan hai.

2) Kya Anuj ko Oedipus complex hai?

Freud ki ye theory kafi problematic hai, debunk ho chuki hai. Balki hamare parents ne hamari upbringing kaise ki hai, society ka norm kaisa hai, khud ki individuality kya hai, uska sexual orientation wagairah sab maayne rakhta hai. Childhood me pade impression ka apna ek impact to hota hi hai. But this theory is totally different from above-mentioned one.

Anuj ka Anupamaa ke certain characteristics (especially her motherhood, uski Saaree, kitchen skills) ko constantly apni "maa" (Kapadia) se compare karna kafi creepy hai. Actually, admiration ke POV se it is okay. But Anuj always made clear to us audience that this makes Anupama "attractive" and this is why he feels romantically about her.

Kisi ke dressing skills se impress hona, crush feel karna is okay.. lekin kisi ke looks/dressing sense/attitude/habit/thinking ko apni "maa" ya "papa" se compare karke romantically incline feel karna is not really cool!!

I mean... When we like someone who resembles our one of our parent (I am only taking example of good relations because mostly apne parent jaise partner banane se hame trauma jyada milta hai kyonki Aisa Child sexual abuse ya child abuse ke mamle me jyada hota hai):

1) To us ensaan ki kuch qualities aapke us parent se milti hain, jinse aap close hain aur wo quality dusro me kam dekhne ko milti hai aur isiliye kafi valuable hai

2) Us ensaan ke Principles hamare parent/s jaise hain aur ham usse kafi inspired hain

3) Ya similar profession hai.

Otherwise everything else is very subjective. Lekin essentially to ham kisi ensaan (Anuj/Anupamaa ki age me) me mainly yahi dekhenge:

1) Banda/bandi hamara kitna khyal rakhta hai, kitna time de raha, kitna prioritize kar rha

2) hamari khud ki needs kya hain

3) hamari already established life/personality ke saath wo compatible ha ya nahi! Because in this age, sab kuch well-cemented hota hai.

Lekin nahi..

Anuj ko Anupamaa ki personality/life me dusri koi dilchaspi nahi. Anupamaa Anuj ko time na de to chalega. Anupama is all about Anuj's memory of his Kapadia Mata and her ex-sasural cum maayka!

3) This is not progressive plot line. Actually this is regressive.

Anuj ka 26 saal ke pyar (his entire personality) ko "Anupamaa" ki mahanta/uski uniqueness ko glorify karne ke liye dikhaya gaya ki kaise Baa aur Vanraj ne is "heere" ki kadra nahi ki aur ab Kaanha ji Anuj aur Anupama ki tapasya par khush hokar unhe Vardaan diya hai.

It is cringe btw. Isme kya progressive hai? Progressive to tab hota jab ye.. Anupamaa ke bahaane ek aam aurat ke struggle ko dikhaate ki kaise Independence aur Self-respect ki ladai kitni lonely, hopeless hoti hai!! Aur this is exactly why... Most women chose to compromise not because they are Mahaan, or they love their husbands! It is because society has no place for such women. Even highly educated women "lack of experience" aur "lack of social connection" ke karan economically independent hone me bahut struggle karti hain. After so many hurdles they get low paying, highly stressful jobs which drains them completely.

They could have shown Anuj-Anupama as collegues. Anuj ko ek Divorcee ya widower dikha sakte the. Ya age-gap dikha sakte the ki for some realistic reasons (family trauma and all that) he is single... Anuj ko Ameer dikhane ki bajay ek progressive outlook ka middle aged man dikha sakte the, jo ek decent si job karta hai aur apni family ki dekhbhal karta hai. Anuj ki family ko na dikhaana is actually really regressive!

Anuj aur Anupama ki Courtship/marriage me problem makers ka role Baa aur Vanraj ne play Kiya tha. Jinka koi haq nahi tha, aur Frankly Anupama had rights/means to move out from their lives. Middle age me Courtship aur Marriage karna In-laws ke perspective se difficult hota hai. Anuj ke parents ko Anupama se shaadi me jo problem thi, use dikhaana, challenge karna progressive hota!

4) Anuj does nothing but stands (actually he dances with her) in the Kitchen with Anupama

Anupama hi nahi... Anuj bhi koi kaam nahi karta. Wo kaam bhi kya karta hai, kaam ko lekar uska passion/plan kya hai ye log kuch nahi dikhaate. Anuj hamesha "Anu kya mai tumhari koi help kar du" (karta wo bhi nahi hai), "Ankush bhaiya aap ye meeting dekh lijiye" aur Anupama ke saath Shah House ke draamas me pada rahta hai. Wo uske saath problematic middle-class values discuss karta hai. Chahe office ho, drawing room ho, car ho, dusre ka ghar, sadak ho yaha tak ki bedroom me bhi... Ye log Shah House ke issues, unke DDPs aur Middle Class values par hi discussion karte hain.

Ab aise me koi aur aapke business me ghapla kare to fault kiska??? It is you who is incompetent in running a business.

Even Ekta Kapoor ke farji Dramas me thoda bahut Mls/Fls ko kaam karte, Business se jude kisi project par mehnat karte dikhate the. Usme Business me kaam ko leker rivalry aur conflict hota tha. Yaha to bas EMA aur middle-class values hi centre point hain.

5) Anuj was/is not a good brother.

This is so obvious. I am not just blaming him for coercing Malvika to enter into an abusive marriage. Usne uska theek se khyaal tak nahi rakha. Dono ke age gaps kafi obvious hain. It was more of his duty at this point. She was vulnerable and he practically abandoned her. Uske entry par ye plot point dikhaya tha. Anuj was justifying this distance because he felt guilty. Oh, when you feel guilty you should work harder to mend/repair your relationship rather than abandoning someone in their fragile state.

Even now... They never talk about how Malvika is doing in the US... if they don't want to recast, then at least show them talking on the phone/WhatsApp.. so that hame bhi pata chale ki Anuj me improvement hue ya nahi ! I think he never actually accepted his mistakes in the first place.

Heck, they don't talk about his Kaka (GK). Mar Gaye ya Zinda hain kuch pata nahi. Also, Anuj was more than compensated for being "Anaath", and while his indifference towards MD is completely understandable and it is only him she is answerable. But why does he let others taunt MD is beyond comprehensible!! When he is so called Sanskari like "Anupama" who defends her Baa/Baapuji at any cost! Then MD too is an old woman and she should be treated fairly according to that logic.

To summarise:

Anuj's entire personality = "Meri Anu", "Meri Anu", Meri Anu"

Koi insaaan din bhar agar bhagwan ka naam japne ke siva dusra koi kaam na kare to wo bhi bhakt ya devotee nahi nikhattu kahlayega!

Come back from hibernation because this show irritated me that much. The zeal to prove everyone including audience wrong is too much. Malti Devi was right that CA needed a tution teacher because matter if fact is Anupama isn't qualified enough to teach her every subject. It isn't any 'shaming' but objectively the truth. But the PH in its usual on the nose style shows CA coming first thanks to Anupama. I am sure Biden also in his heart thanks Anupama for becoming President. Sab sab sab thanks to Anupama.

If a woman isn't managing household + office + independent career + abusive ex family household + a teacher / psychiatrist / God knows what what she isn't a good enough woman. Because Anupama - the picture of an ideal woman - does all that easily in her late forties / early fifties. What a progressive show! The fact that women have been trying to come out of this 'superwoman' sab sab sab zone and the guilt complex and 101 issues that arises out of it since decades doesn't mean a penny to the PH or the channel. Nothing new but still irritated me. Hope audience watches this for timepass only and don't consider Anupama as a role model for anything. Zara bhi nahi, kabhi bhi nahi.