What is Maryada? - Page 3

Originally posted by: sweet_tania

Maryada means limit till MARRIAGE. Maryada till friendship only aisi koi definition nahi hota !

Ulta anupama toh dusri shaddi ke agle din tak flaunt kar rahi thi ki usne and Anuj ne kabhi maryada nahi Todi !That means they were in live in relationship but never did sex with each other before marriage!

For anupama definition of maryada is “Sex” so she always used it for this word only!

Vanraj Kavya did sex before their marriage so unhone maryada Todi thi ! Anupama and Anuj never did SEX before marriage so unhone kabhi maryada nahi toda tha!

This is what basic definition of anupama while using the “Maryada” word frequently!

Thanks for clearly explaining me what Maryada means. I learnt a new word today. BTW, kya Shaadi ke baad Maryada Todi Hai Ki Nahin?

Originally posted by: MOTHERHOOD

Thanks for clearly explaining me what Maryada means. I learnt a new word today. BTW, kya Shaadi ke baad Maryada Todi Hai Ki Nahin?

😆

Please allow me to sum up the definition of Maryada.

During friendship, maryada means peeling matar with each other, having chai, coffee together, spending whole day at one's place during day time only and staying at other's place at night in someone else' presence.

After the proposal, maryada means holding hand, hugging, and kissing on the forehead.

Once engagement is fixed, maryada means having chai from same cup, going on date, ball dance.

After marriage maryada means kissing on the cheeks, discussing wearing nightie. I feel for a 45 yr lady like anupama, who did not have any physical intimacy with her husband for so many years. She should be more conscious about removing nightie rather than wearing it but its ITV, where words like badc@aln and language like " meri god (lap) mei tha ( remember during character assassination) can be used openly as yeh chaar chand lagate hai hamari sanskriti ko but sex or physical intimacy word,.... oh disgusting.. hamari maryada and sanskriti ke against hai ??

And yes, she needs to achieve something before taking a normal decision because she is not independent yet. She is a dependent on her father now.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

I guess, this is the definition of maryada for Anupama.😉

If Pakhi and Adhik peeled matar together in a closed room, Would that be violation of maryada

Anyways, in today's episode, Anu trying to make Pakhi understand about career building and education was fine. But as a mother, she did not know giving gyaan at this time would not work. Was it necessary to argue with her at that time only and in front of everyone? Was that a lecture or seminar in which everyone's presence was mandatory? Initially, when pakhi was of that age when she could be molded or counseled, anupama used to behave like helpless woman in front of her. Moreover, Pakhi did not say that she wanted to marry Adhik?

Till age of 50, parents whose hormones are still overactive instead of trying to understand emotions and feelings of their young daughter are shouting and giving lectures.

Where was Anu's lecture book when Toshu's marriage was finalizing. He had not any job at that time. Leave that time, even now, when he is going to become a father, he is not settled.

Was Samar settled when he got engaged? Did anyone from Shah's family realize this thing?

Mr shah ne kaunsa sensible kaam kiya hai- shouting, screaming, yelling, using bad language in front of his daughter😆

What do they expect from pakhi then??

I dont know about maryada according to Anu. But ur post just cracked me up.
@bold- am genuinely confused. Was peeling matar as simple as it sounds or were u trying to put double meaning behind this🤣

Originally posted by: radhika_2001

If you take Anupama and Anuj's relationship, it bloomed after she was out of her abusive relationship unlike Vanraj and Kavya who were in relationship while Anu and Vanraj were a married couple. The maryada is a thin line between a man and woman that should be respected. VanYa didn't respect that while Vanraj was a married man with three kids that's why their marriage is not a happy one. You cannot be happy hurting others. Anupama was hurt that inspite of the fact that she was Vanraj's wife, Vanraj had a relationship with another woman. Housewives this age can bear anything but no one can bear a souten. It's not her fault Vanraj loved someone else while she was being a responsible mother, daughter-in-law serving her sasural. You need two people to take care of a marriage as it's very easy to break.

Anyways, now if we see Anupama's and Anuj's friendship which was built on care, trust, and samMaan(respect which she didn't get). This led her to be confident, to go out and find herself and also see what is good and what is bad. She got married to Anuj with dignity. What has Pakhi achieved so far in her life? She is 20-year old brat who is looking out for herself. She is fascinated by the high standard living at the Kapadias and she wants that life to get out of the Shah family. She is not in love, she wants out, that's it! This is very normal behavior coming from a school graduate. She hasn't seen the world as of yet, she doesn't know how people are. That's what Anupama is saying, ki pehle kuch bano fir relationship kro. Relationship may be for some people, but in student life its not benefitting at that age because fir padhayi mein dhyan nhi lagega, time waste hoga (speaking from experience). With age, she will understand what she is doing..that's what Anupama is trying to explain her.

There is no harm in having male friends but what Pakhi and Adhik were doing is wrong. If you want to talk, you can talk in front of everyone. If you have to do something alone, that means you're doing something wrong. Sara and Samar are also around the same age, are they behaving like Pakhi and Adhik? No. They know how complicated things will be with relationship, that's what Pakhi is not seeing. It has nothing to do with controlling the life of a girl and letting boys fall in love. Falling in love is not a joke, it should be done responsibly just like drinking. Here Vanraj's reaction is very normal, no father will like his daughter to get close to any boy at that age which is obvious that things can go sexual later if not stopped now. He has grown up from that stage too, he knows, but yes I agree he could have talked to both of them first instead of creating a scene in front of everyone. Just like how Sara and Samar were respecting the Maryada by meeting in front of everyone else, Pakhi and Adhik should too..

'serving her sasural' um okay...

Lol Maryada is SUCH a subjective concept. Who decides maryada? Do you? Does Anupama? Who exactly is setting this standard?

"Relationship may be for some people, but in student life its not benefitting at that age because fir padhayi mein dhyan nhi lagega, time waste hoga (speaking from experience)."

I disagree. That's solely your experience. In my experience, I've seen it is possible to be both a student and in a relationship. How are students graduating, getting degrees and other credentials while being in a relationship?

You have very black and white thinking....

Anupama keeps saying family this family that, but If every woman started listening to family members advice every time she wanted to take a step towards her dreams and goals, then many would never get anywhere. I get that family is important, I love my family too. But sometimes you have to take that leap and start making your own decisions. In Paakhi's case yes she is young, but how will she learn and become independent if she is not allowed to make her own decisions and mistakes? It's not as if she is too young to start making her adult decisions. If anything, her parents should stop "babying" her and maybe even encourage her to pick up some responsibilities like getting a part-time job, starting to drive a car, etc. There are many Paakhi's age who are in relationships, managing responsibilites, paying rent, attending college, etc. They expect Paakhi to be sensible but in reality they are not letting her to gain any real world experience it seems like. we never even see them sitting down with their daughter and going over her career goals with her or giving her any useful/practice advice or motivation that will help her advance in life. They keep saying they are giving Paakhi a good education but does just paying for college and sending your kid to school/university and then afterwards getting them married to someone of your choice, mean that you are a good parent? What will their child learn from that ?

If they keep making Paakhi's choices for her, she won't learn from her successes/mistakes. Of course, they can give her advice but they also need to put some trust in their daughter as well.

Originally posted by: HappySmiles

Anupama keeps saying family this family that, but If every woman started listening to family members advice every time she wanted to take a step towards her dreams and goals, then many would never get anywhere. I get that family is important, I love my family too. But sometimes you have to take that leap and start making your own decisions. In Paakhi's case yes she is young, but how will she learn and become independent if she is not allowed to make her own decisions and mistakes? It's not as if she is too young to start making her adult decisions. If anything, her parents should stop "babying" her and maybe even encourage her to pick up some responsibilities like getting a part-time job, starting to drive a car, etc. There are many Paakhi's age who are in relationships, managing responsibilites, paying rent, attending college, etc. They expect Paakhi to be sensible but in reality they are not letting her to gain any real world experience it seems like. we never even see them sitting down with their daughter and going over her career goals with her or giving her any useful/practice advice or motivation that will help her advance in life. They keep saying they are giving Paakhi a good education but does just paying for college and sending your kid to school/university and then afterwards getting them married to someone of your choice, mean that you are a good parent? What will their child learn from that ?

If they keep making Paakhi's choices for her, she won't learn from her successes/mistakes. Of course, they can give her advice but they also need to put some trust in their daughter as well.

Basicaly indian parenting makes daughter dependent o n parents or husband for life. They never allow to make independent decisions or stand independent. Thats how they control woman and girls. Patriarchal society expect girls daughters or sisters to ask permission for everything from mother father or elder brothers. Like now pakhi to talk to boy permission to keep boy friend permission subjects to choose parents and brothers advice etc this is only patriarchy and following daughter day and night to see whom she meets what she does in college etc

Slowly woman will lose confidence to decide on own and reamin dependent on parents brothers or husband to make any choice

you are correct, I find it odd that Anupama who supports advocating for other women and says one should stand up for themself, won't support her own daughter in becoming independent. Anupama's actions are not lining up with anythings she speaks about.