Is it love?

Anuj Kapadia

Audience is in shock that any human can love someone for 26 years without knowing if she loves back in return. How is it possible that a young adult at 18 years saw a girl anupama in college started loving her and continued loving after her marraige too. I mean ideally in india and asian culture its sin to love another mans wife. So many bollywood movies show us boy and girl madly in love but after the girl is married ooff to another man the hero either drowns himself in pain till death in remembrance of his lady love or forgets her as shes someone elses and its sin to love another mans wife.

But anuj kapadia is unique he loved a girl who hardly remembers him as classmate as hes back bencher she a front bencher mostly. First i am in shock anupama was allowed by her conservative family to study in co head college in first place. This love anupama is married off atfter a year at 19 years may be to Vanraj Shah but anuj shifts to USA to forget her pursue his career. Neither he drinks himself to death nor he forgets her because she is someone else amanat now. He continues loving her and not ready to marry anyone. He dates has girl friends but never marries anyone as no one matches his anupama qualities. But why is anuj so much in love with anupama? We ordinary people do not find any great quality in her other than being maid and door mat to her family husband kids and in laws.

How can USA educated BE MBA Anuj Kapadia love her super rich millionaire love an anupama Joshi for 26 years without any reciprocation from her. We must not forget hero anuj kapadia is an orpahn hes insecure because his parents are not really his own, his sister is not really his own nor kapaida and sons are his own. All are aamanat from God or of his sister. This is orphan syndrome where you are forever in gratitude. Like Karan was to Dhuryodhan. I am sure in college everyone liked anuj kapadia as hes smart and intelligent and good looking. But will any girl marry him in india if they find hes an orphan? Because everyone sees religion, caste, gotra etc all to marry. So majority indian girl family will reject anuj kapadia as a groom for their daughter. May be anupama is only one he thought who may accept him as he is an orphan adopted in a rich family without many questions unlike other girls or families.

And may be she had characters of his mother. In psychology it says every son is direct competition to his father for mothers love and every daughter is in competition with mother for fathers love. This is called Oedipus complex. May be anupama character matched his adopted mom character so much that he wants only her as wife no other girl. So he dated but refused to marry any other as they did not match his mothers characters like an anupama. Hence hes waiting 26 years for her. For majority men want their wife to mother them after marraige do everything a mom does cook sweep mom take care in sickness basically baby sit them. Anuj wants that from anupama too, to become his mother too. He could not give his mother cum wife place to another woman than anupama as no one matches his mom characteristic.

That is why anuj kapadai is ok being second option to anupama in marraige in love. He knows first place in vanraj and her kids only. Second will be him. Its like this a mother has 2 kids one will be favourite. Other will reconcile to fact that no matter what they do their mother will love them second best. Usually brothers will be mothers favourite child so daughters will reconcile to that fact and vice versa. Even daughter loves mother and wants her love like a son but most daughters know they come second in mothers eyes over a brother no matter what they do for a mother. Same way son usually comes second to father over daughter always. Same way a father knows son loves mother more than a father. Its all psychology. Same way anuj kapadia knows he comes second in anupama life no matter what he does for her or how much he loves her more than vanraj and her shah family. Hes reconciled to fact. Its sad but truth of life.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Anuj Kapadia

Audience is in shock that any human can love someone for 26 years without knowing if she loves back in return. How is it possible that a young adult at 18 years saw a girl anupama in college started loving her and continued loving after her marraige too. I mean ideally in india and asian culture its sin to love another mans wife. So many bollywood movies show us boy and girl madly in love but after the girl is married ooff to another man the hero either drowns himself in pain till death in remembrance of his lady love or forgets her as shes someone elses and its sin to love another mans wife.

But anuj kapadia is unique he loved a girl who hardly remembers him as classmate as hes back bencher she a front bencher mostly. First i am in shock anupama was allowed by her conservative family to study in co head college in first place. This love anupama is married off atfter a year at 19 years may be to Vanraj Shah but anuj shifts to USA to forget her pursue his career. Neither he drinks himself to death nor he forgets her because she is someone else amanat now. He continues loving her and not ready to marry anyone. He dates has girl friends but never marries anyone as no one matches his anupama qualities. But why is anuj so much in love with anupama? We ordinary people do not find any great quality in her other than being maid and door mat to her family husband kids and in laws.

How can USA educated BE MBA Anuj Kapadia love her super rich millionaire love an anupama Joshi for 26 years without any reciprocation from her. We must not forget hero anuj kapadia is an orpahn hes insecure because his parents are not really his own, his sister is not really his own nor kapaida and sons are his own. All are aamanat from God or of his sister. This is orphan syndrome where you are forever in gratitude. Like Karan was to Dhuryodhan. I am sure in college everyone liked anuj kapadia as hes smart and intelligent and good looking. But will any girl marry him in india if they find hes an orphan 99% will not. Because everyone sees religion, caste, gotra etc all to marry. So majority indian girl family will reject anuj kapadia as a groom for their daughter. May be anupama is only one he thought who may accept him as he is an orphan adopted in a rich family without many questions unlike other girls or families.

And may be she had characters of his mother. In psychology it says every son is direct competition to his father for mothers love and every daughter is in competition with mother for fathers love. This is called Oedipus complex. May be anupama character matched his adopted mom character so much that he wants only her as wife no other girl. So he dated but refused to marry any other as they did not match his mothers characters like an anupama. Hence hes waiting 26 years for her. For majority men want their wife to mother them after marraige do everything a mom does cook sweep mom take care in sickness basically baby sit them. Anuj wants that from anupama too, to become his mother too. He could not give his mother cum wife place to another woman than anupama as no one matches his mom characteristic.

That is why anuj kapadai is ok being second option to anupama in marraige in love. He knows first place in vanraj and her kids only. Second will be him. Its like this a mother has 2 kids one will be favourite. Other will reconcile to fact that no matter what they do their mother will love them second best. Usually brothers will be mothers favourite child so daughters will reconcile to that fact and vice versa. Even daughter loves mother and wants her love like a son but most daughters know they come second in mothers eyes over a brother no matter what they do for a mother. Same way son usually comes second to father over daughter always. Same way a father knows son loves mother more than a father. Its all psychology. Same way anuj kapadia knows he comes second in anupama life no matter what he does for her or how much he loves her more than vanraj and her shah family. Hes reconciled to fact. Its sad but truth of life.

I think makers brought this adoption angle only after Mukku came , initially when Anuj and his story were introduced there were no hints of him being adopted ... What does his being adopted got to do with the way he loves Anupamaa anyway ...

I understand your sentiments regarding their love story and you are entitled to have an opinion , but pls don’t go around making blanket statements like 99% Indian families won’t accept marriage with adopted child, adopted children suffer from some syndrome etc ... There might be parents here who have adopted children or members who themselves are adopted or have adopted siblings or people who are thinking of adopting . Pls be respectful of them and normalise this process

What?

I find some of the statements here very conservative. Even ignorant to tell you the truth.

Firstly-

A. Its a sin to love another man’s wife.

Really? Love is a complex biochemical, neurological AND spiritual phenomenon. Each marriage, each relationship has different circumstances and we can’t make such blanket statements. Cheating on someone who loves you is wrong, harming another human being is wrong.

Love is love. Sometimes you can’t help it.

B. No girl would marry an orphan.

Again. Really?? What place are you referring to man?? In educated society I believe most of the girls would look at a man’s character, personality, family background, probably looks also. But circumstances of birth? Some girls sure, but you can’t say all girls.

Villages and small towns where the girls have no say, I dont know. Anuj comes from educated background.

C. Oedipus complex.

I agree somewhat. It exists, but its not as common. In this case its not the case. He had a loving relationship with BOTH his parents.

Read about a phenomenon called projection. He has projected the qualities he desires in a woman, yes his mother’s qualities, on to Anupama. Its unlikely to be infatuated with a girl you have never spoken to for so long but this is ITV so forget logic. But if you have known someone and developed those kind of feelings then its possible, though rare.

Originally posted by: ga1986

I think makers brought this adoption angle only after Mukku came , initially when Anuj and his story were introduced there were no hints of him being adopted ... What does his being adopted got to do with the way he loves Anupamaa anyway ...

I understand your sentiments regarding their love story and you are entitled to have an opinion , but pls don’t go around making blanket statements like 99% Indian families won’t accept marriage with adopted child, adopted children suffer from some syndrome etc ... There might be parents here who have adopted children or members who themselves are adopted or have adopted siblings or people who are thinking of adopting . Pls be respectful of them and normalise this process

I am telling from experience as i know few adopted kids too

Also if adopted kid is of very rich family and very educated too its tough to get same status spouse

See parents and siblings may accept adopted child but relatives or outside accepting is tough especially in marriage etc

I have seen grand parents treating adopted kid different from own blood grand kids etc like how Baa treats anupama as second class (like giving best food to blood grand kids and not giving same eatables or snacks to adopted one as they are adopted)

I do not have issues with adoption at all i am just what i observed in real life

I am not saying this to discourage adoption but saying relatives and others in society do not easily treat adopted kid as equal many times this i observed

I am thinking why anuj and malvika do not have grandparents uncle aunty etc have they cut off relation from anuj family as his parents adopted him?

That also i have seen happening in real life where grandparents cut off relation with son and daughter in law for adopting child

What's this logic that no girl will be ready to marry a guy who is adapted. Be it in USA or india what a girl sees in man his intentions, his nature, hies maturity, his Compatibility with her, how he is as a partner.

Malvika isn't adapted but she is single so why can't Anuj be single purposely.

Even I have been in one sided love for 20 yrs and I'm single purposely and I'm not adapted. And I'm not a fictional character but Anuj is fictional so he has liberty that being billionaire he chose to be single.

That's why he is Unique not fake or rejected piece.

Wow,you have been in a one sided love for 20 years?!

Such Angels exist🥺

Damn, but it must be painful.

Sorry,I did not wish to get into your personal matter.

But it's kinda sad but wonderful at the same time to see such people exist in today's time when people change their feelings like they are changing clothes.

i agree with a lot of what you said in your first post but i dont get the relationship you are making between him being ruch/educated to making the right decisions in his personal life.