Marriage Indian Style 101 - Myths and the Truth

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bee5

@bee5

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

I see that a lot of people are thinking that Abhi & Simi's marriage is done.
Here are some truths about Indian Marriages :

First and foremost, Simi & Abhi are not living in the times where Kings would go out on hunting trips and would find a beautiful girl singing in the forest or taking shower under a waterfall or a bath in the pond and get married to her by exchanging garlands and bring her to the palace as a Queen! Such marriages are called Gandharva Vivah. Those were the Kings times.

What Abhi and Simi did in matarani's temple is Gandharva Vivah and is not considered legal. Marriage is done to be accepted by society and hence needs at least 1 person other than the bride and the groom as a witness.

So, they need to marry in front of the society. There are different rituals in marriage and some that are must. Various communities differ in what they consider as the MUST have ones as the minimum requirement.

In 'Choti Bahu' though Dev and Radh had taken several vows and pheras before marriage, (yes, KB copied CB here again), Shastriji doesn't send his daughter away with Dev even though Varmala, Kanyadaan and Sindoor ceremonies were done. He agrees only after Radh and Dev take the Saath Pheres and Dev puts mangalsutra on Radh in front of society, rest were already done in front of society. So, in KB, it depends which community Abhi & Simi belong to and what their family considers as married.

So, its not enough if Abhi & Simi consider married to each other. Abhi and Simi def need to go and do a proper marriage in front of the society.
I am not even sure we are going to get this in the next week.

Even if they get married to each other properly in front of society and also register their marriage, which a must too.

Now before the marriage is complete, Manju has taken a vow that she is going to consider Simi dead and is going to perform the last rites of her hail and healthy living daughter. First this drama has to be resolved. Its not an easy task to convince Manju. Only hope is RS and he also has been made to sit in some corner of I don't know which park.

Simi will not agree to this marriage until she makes her mother happy. Mother is never going to be happy. So, be assured there is still a long way to go before Abhi & Simi can be considered legally married.

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Frequent Posters

Manik_mia

@Manik_mia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: bee5

Simi will not agree to this marriage until she makes her mother happy. Mother is never going to be happy. So, be assured there is still a long way to go before Abhi & Simi can be considered legally married.

This is exactly my view.

So viewers has to wait may be another 100 episodes before they see the Simbhi honeymoon.
😡

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Bana

@Bana

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Nice post Bee.

I believe that according to the Hindu Marriages Act, a marriage (i) conducted in any traditional style that is generally/ popularly accepted in society as a "marriage ceremony" and (ii) conducted in front of at least one witness, can be accepted as a proper marriage with legal standing (even if not registered in court). Most of our parents wouldn't have 'registered' their marriage but it is still recognised as valid and legal acording to the Act, only they may not have a marriage certificate. If they were to separate, they would need to go thru a legal divorce proceeding.

Mangalsutra is not mandatory in some Hindu communities whereas sindoor is not in some others. I believe public pheras are mandatory in almost all.

Recent court rulings have gone further, by recognising a marriage by conduct/practice - that means where a couple have been openly living together and behaving in society just like husband and wife, for an appreciable length of time, the court will look upon it as a normal 'marriage' when it comes to awarding rights (e.g. maintenance or division of property). This is even where no ceremony or registration is done.

Going by my first point here, SimBhi's marriage does not meet both conditions (generally Hindu society does not consider a ceremony without 'agni sakshi' or fire as witness, as proper). I do not know if appling sindoor alone in public will meet the first condition, doubt it.

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

Thank you for sharing this informtion. I know that in both a Muslim and Christian cermony there are certain rules that define a marriage - there must be a consent of yes by both man and woman and the cermony must be officiated by a priest/iman/maulana or ordained minster or learned person in front of at least two witnesses. In Christianity rings are exchanged once the man and woman become husband and wife.

From what I am reading, applying the sindoor on its own or taking seven pheres without fire or in front of witnesses does not constitute a marriage.

Am I correct with my understanding? It seems that that there are multiple interpretations of what is going on.

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Rumi007

@Rumi007

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

I remembered the scene when Abhi and Simi takes phere in front of matarani.There was a candle like fire there.I dont know whether it can be considered for marriage or not,but they showed the fire.

Edited by RUMI05 - 15 years ago

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Manik_mia

@Manik_mia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: RUMI05
I remembered the scene when Abhi and Simi takes phere in front of matarani.There was a candle like fire there.I dont know whether it can be considered for marriage or not,but they showed the fire.

I thought they need to have phere around the fire.

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Ganga

@Avatarana09

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

I have posted my reply in another thread too.The need for agni is as witness to the wedding.

Agni is one among the panchbhutas or five elements.......the remaining four being water (jal), earth (prihvi), air (vayu) and ether (sound). These four change form or becomes polluted or impure in due course of transition. Fire is the one which does not change its form through whatever it passes. It just consumes everything in the process. So it was considered auspicious that the couple entering matrimony should assume such firm qualities like that of agni and be pure in the process of their journey together.

Since ceremonies lasted long in hindu marriages, agni had to be maintained as witness for long. Hence the need for agnikund where oil, ghee, etc will be poured constantly into the agnikund so that it remains lighted.

So its just the availability of agni around and not particularly in the agnikund. In south indian weddings especially in kerala, there is no agnikund but marriage ceremony happens in front of the lighted diya or the large "vilakku" or lamp.

So i assume here in this case, all diyas in the matarani temple were lighted. So agni was around as witness to wedding.

But the biggest question is whether later Simi herself will acknowledge this or not. Abhi beter buck up.