GOOD PARENTING....?????

Malini

@Rumii

Voyager

15

Posted: 15 years ago

#1

While watching 15th Dec's episode it obviously comes into my mind that whatever Rajinder is doing with Anuj is that GOOD PARENTING>?? I think NO..... though Anuj's committed a serious crime Anuj's 'history' with Rajinder is responsible for it!! Rajinder has always Taunted,ridiculed and shouted at his Son..... How can Rajinder say 'IF YOU WANTED MONEY YOU SHOUL'VE COME TO ME..??😲 I,myself get scared seeing Rajinder shouting n scaring Anuj.... how could Anuj?????????? As a matter of fact Anuj tried to make his new household work with the Gifts that he'd got from Anita's parents rather than seeking money from his own family but did rajinder listen OR SUPPORT ANUJ AT THAT TIME??😡 children Need support n love all the time..... Anuj was Newly married to a girl who came from an entirely different fiancial status n they NEEDED SOME TIME N UNDERSTANDING to get themselves settled.. WERE They Given that??And Rajinder's always giving ANUJ Ultimatums-LEAVE THE HOUSE😲 IT's MY HOUSE as if Anuj is Nobody in that house!!

The LAck of personality in Anuj,his insecurities are all repurcussions of Rajinder's neglect n ridicule towards his Son for some 'unknown 'reason'!😲

Is this called GOOD PARENTING?? Is this what's call "Baro kaa Barappan"?? Children might n will keep making mistakes,if the parents do not show patience,Sympathy n support,who'll show the right way to the children..? IS THIS THE RIGHT WAY OF SHOWING THE WAY..Huh..?😲 He could've asked Anuj to apologize to Milli(BTW,Mili's brought up as one RUDE brat by 'Indian Standards'..I'm not sure how well can she adjust herself in her sasural...she shouts at her Elder brother n bhabhi always showing anger n spewing hatred😕) But instead of giving Anuj a warning or trying to talk to him n understanding his comulsions his father is asking Him to Leave the house?????????????????

Now what'll Rajinder do when he comes to know that Neetu's Pregnant without being married n Simmi's having an affair with a Boy younger than her own younger brother & that's not a thing to be very proud of! Will he Kill his daughters???????????? Throw them out of HIS House? Or is Rajinder going to have a different approach since they're daughters so thay cannot be left wandering on the streets??

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ramas

@ramas

Alumni

39

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#2

I have a totally diff views. I have expereienced this in my own life and seen many of my freinds going thru and trust me this is any parent's worst nightmare do or don't?. I hope I do not have to go thru such with my child as well as I have seen my mom suffering. and so many of my freinds.

For us indian parents our children are our wealtht and we put so much into them, we put everything on the hold to give them best and when tehy turn out like anuj and we have to part them from us is like tearing your limb from your body.😭

yes RS is very wrong but not kicking anuj out. He should havea llowed anita to keep things from her parents giving her warning that this is still my house and you can use waht ever you liek but for that you can not rule us.

Anuj is a lost cause and selfish. No wanrning will work trust me on this. Anuj will get worst. RS wanred him ones that this is my house and live my way or highway!!. But that did nto deter him from hitting mili.

If he is so much of a man why can't he make his own money and take his wife on honeymoon. Why did he have to steal his dad 's hard earn money?

What anju did is not a mistake but a crime.if reported he can go to jail for cahsing his dad's FD without his knowledge.

Sethi parivar is better off without anuj anita.

RS is blamed 20% for anuj but 80% anuj is to blamed. As he invited this on himself.

As for girls in our society girls are not thrown out despite what tehy do.? I tis just our tradition. Parents live in shame but take care of their girls.

What simi did is not wrong. she loves abhi.Yes nitu did very wrong.

But simi is right in what she is doing. If abhi simi consent then it is their business. Simi has not trapped him Abhi loves her.

Edited by ramas - 15 years ago

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ReadLo

@ReadLo

Rocker

27

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#3

If I understand after the stupidity of Arnuj must forgive without blame? how he will understand his mistake? I have a different education than yours but that said I agree with RS

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Simran

@sankum25

Beginner

4

Posted: 15 years ago

#4

While watching 15th Dec's episode it obviously comes into my mind that whatever Rajinder is doing with Anuj is that GOOD PARENTING>?? I think NO..... though Anuj's committed a serious crime Anuj's 'history' with Rajinder is responsible for it!! Rajinder has always Taunted,ridiculed and shouted at his Son..... How can Rajinder say 'IF YOU WANTED MONEY YOU SHOUL'VE COME TO ME..??

Rajinder DID say this line!! Check out the video again.
I don't think Rajinder has ridiculed him.. he is the only one trying to get some sense into Anuj. If you compare Rajinder with Anuj and Manuja with her daughters then you will realize that Anuj has always got away scot-free

I,myself get scared seeing Rajinder shouting n scaring Anuj.... how could Anuj?????????? As a matter of fact Anuj tried to make his new household work with the Gifts that he'd got from Anita's parents rather than seeking money from his own family but did rajinder listen OR SUPPORT ANUJ AT THAT TIME??😡

It's about human conscience. Rajendar is not comfortable with those expensive gifts. He wants to live within his means and is encouraging Anuj to do the same. That is not a wrong thing!! .. Infact that's how parents should be! If Rajender had supported that then Anita would have walked around the house as if she owns them all.. it would have created more problems .. specially since they are already having money issues..

children Need support n love all the time..... Anuj was Newly married to a girl who came from an entirely different fiancial status n they NEEDED SOME TIME N UNDERSTANDING to get themselves settled.. WERE They Given that??And Rajinder's always giving ANUJ Ultimatums-LEAVE THE HOUSE😲 IT's MY HOUSE as if Anuj is Nobody in that house!!

The LAck of personality in Anuj,his insecurities are all repurcussions of Rajinder's neglect n ridicule towards his Son for some 'unknown 'reason'!😲

Anuj has no RIGHT to hit upon his sister! What he did was wrong. Clearly, he has stepped on a wrongful note right from the beginning of his marriage. If he isn't stopped now.. he'll never stop. Hitting upon ANYONE is wrong! Anita and Anuj should realize that they have done wrong.

These two stole Rajender's life saving, then hits upon Mili when she confronted him and Rajender should let this go on? No way!! Simi was right - they should have accepted their mistake and said sorry.

I think throwing them out of the house at this point is a rightful thing to do.

Is this called GOOD PARENTING?? Is this what's call "Baro kaa Barappan"?? Children might n will keep making mistakes,if the parents do not show patience,Sympathy n support,who'll show the right way to the children..? IS THIS THE RIGHT WAY OF SHOWING THE WAY..Huh..?😲 He could've asked Anuj to apologize to Milli(BTW,Mili's brought up as one RUDE brat by 'Indian Standards'..I'm not sure how well can she adjust herself in her sasural...she shouts at her Elder brother n bhabhi always showing anger n spewing hatred😕)

I admire Mili. She is the only girl in the family who has the guts to speak up on what's right! She doesn't care who thinks what about her.
Comeon! Elder brother/bhabhi are not above law. Does that mean that just because they are elder to her, she needs to over look the mistakes they keep making? If Mili is rude then Anita is more ruder than her.. By 'Indian standards' no one questions her FIL like she did, specially when she DID steal her own FILs signatures!! .. is that justified?

But instead of giving Anuj a warning or trying to talk to him n understanding his comulsions his father is asking Him to Leave the house?????????????????

That guy was let go by RS despite his fault.. yet instead of admitting his mistake and feeling sorry, he went and slapped Mili when she confronted Anita. In such a situation, Anuj needs to be told to leave with his wife. Clearly, he thinks he has done no wrong and Anita is innocent in forging signatures. If Anuj was made to stay, then Anita would go around misbehaving with everyone (she's already done that with Mili/Simi) and no one would say a word.

Now what'll Rajinder do when he comes to know that Neetu's Pregnant without being married n Simmi's having an affair with a Boy younger than her own younger brother & that's not a thing to be very proud of! Will he Kill his daughters???????????? Throw them out of HIS House? Or is Rajinder going to have a different approach since they're daughters so thay cannot be left wandering on the streets??

Why? What's wrong in being in love with a younger fellow? Anuj was abusive. These three stories have no co-relation. If Simi/Neetu become abusive at some point or misbehave with Anita/Anuj like they did then yes Rajinder has the right to reprimand them ..

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Simran

@sankum25

Beginner

4

Posted: 15 years ago

#5

Originally posted by: ramas
I have a totally diff views. I have expereienced this in my own life and seen many of my freinds going thru and trust me this is any parent's worst nightmare do or don't?. I hope I do not have to go thru such with my child as well as I have seen my mom suffering. and so many of my freinds.
For us indian parents our children are our wealtht and we put so much into them, we put everything on the hold to give them best and when tehy turn out like anuj and we have to part them from us is like tearing your limb from your body.😭

yes RS is very wrong but not kicking anuj out. He should havea llowed anita to keep things from her parents giving her warning that this is still my house and you can use waht ever you liek but for that you can not rule us.

Anuj is a lost cause and selfish. No wanrning will work trust me on this. Anuj will get worst. RS wanred him ones that this is my house and live my way or highway!!. But that did nto deter him from hitting mili.

If he is so much of a man why can't he make his own money and take his wife on honeymoon. Why did he have to steal his dad 's hard earn money?

What anju did is not a mistake but a crime.if reported he can go to jail for cahsing his dad's FD without his knowledge.

Sethi parivar is better off without anuj anita.

RS is blamed 20% for anuj but 80% anuj is to blamed. As he invited this on himself.

As for girls in our society girls are not thrown out despite what tehy do.? I tis just our tradition. Parents live in shame but take care of their girls.

What simi did is not wrong. she loves abhi.Yes nitu did very wrong.

But simi is right in what she is doing. If abhi simi consent then it is their business. Simi has not trapped him Abhi loves her.

Excellent post Rama .. and so true. I've seen this too .. amongst family and friends. Indian parents depend emotionally on their children. It's just how things are. It breaks them when they see their own son whom they have loved and pampered so much for years.. go astray and acts upon like this.

I cannot imagine how Anuj can keep a straight face and not feel remorseful after his father was manhandled in the bank like that. THIS IS HIS OWN FATHER!!!!!!!!!! .. money or no money.. you cannot put your own parents through this for some stupid honeymoon.

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Malini

@Rumii

Voyager

15

Posted: 15 years ago

#6

yes RS is very wrong but not kicking anuj out. He should havea llowed anita to keep things from her parents giving her warning that this is still my house and you can use waht ever you liek but for that you can not rule us-I AGREE WITH THIS POST!!

SANKUM.. I KNOW RAJINDER SAID THIS.... I WAS ASKING IF THIS WAS POSSIBLE FOR ANUJ To DO...tHE WAY RAJINDER SHOUTS AT ANUJ.....

Idon't know right or wrong but I think Rajinder was a bit too harsh..... I think whenever there's a Problem in any family IT IS BEST for 'both the points' to be considered,it is IMORTANT for both sides ie the in-laws n the son-Bahu to calm down /compromise on some points otherwise it wouldn't take long for all families to break😭 because if 2 generations live together with their families they'll have conflicts and extreme measures are not good solutions!!

SOMEONE ELSE HAS PUT IT IN A VERY NICE WAY..I AGREE....

"no they should not be thrown out.

Rajinder Sethi should give his son one more chance to mend his ways .Anuj on his part should return the money to his father.

Parenting is hard.It is easy to yell and threaten but the truth is it does not help solve problems"

Edited by iamindian - 15 years ago

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Jess.

@Jess.

Sparkler

30

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#7

Originally posted by: ramas

As for girls in our society girls are not thrown out despite what tehy do.? I tis just our tradition. Parents live in shame but take care of their girls.

What simi did is not wrong. she loves abhi.Yes nitu did very wrong.

But simi is right in what she is doing. If abhi simi consent then it is their business. Simi has not trapped him Abhi loves her.

i dont get what you are saying....Neetu loves Vicky & Simi loves Abhi
Sure it was wrong of neetu to get with Vicky without knowing him properly....but when you say "if abhi simi consent then it is their business" wouldnt that be the same with Neetu/Vicky? They both consented to have sex. Is it right for Simi to be meeting Abhi secretly? If Abhi-Simi love each other and want to marry each other & if everyone says no, its alright? But when Anuj & Anita wanted to get married everyone thought it was wrong cause simi is older & she looks mean, etc. But it was THEIR business right? & Neetu and Vicky had sex...that was also their business. I dont get why everyone but simi is wrong.?

Edited by Jess. - 15 years ago

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Shanti

@shanti05

Stunner

39

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#8

Originally posted by: sankum25
While watching 15th Dec's episode it obviously comes into my mind that whatever Rajinder is doing with Anuj is that GOOD PARENTING>?? I think NO..... though Anuj's committed a serious crime Anuj's 'history' with Rajinder is responsible for it!! Rajinder has always Taunted,ridiculed and shouted at his Son..... How can Rajinder say 'IF YOU WANTED MONEY YOU SHOUL'VE COME TO ME..??

Rajinder DID say this line!! Check out the video again.
I don't think Rajinder has ridiculed him.. he is the only one trying to get some sense into Anuj. If you compare Rajinder with Anuj and Manuja with her daughters then you will realize that Anuj has always got away scot-free

I truly agree with your point !! RS had made it clear to him that if he needed money he could have asked !! We as parents go all out to do things for or children and if Anuj had asked RS papaji kya mujey passay mil sakthey hai he wud have given him !!
And its rediculous if they stole the money for Anitas requirements of washing machine and air conditioner etc which RS pointed out Arreay Aajkal Loan miltha hai u can get things on loan why steal money for fathers FD and get insulted and thrown out

I,myself get scared seeing Rajinder shouting n scaring Anuj.... how could Anuj?????????? As a matter of fact Anuj tried to make his new household work with the Gifts that he'd got from Anita's parents rather than seeking money from his own family but did rajinder listen OR SUPPORT ANUJ AT THAT TIME??😡

It's about human conscience. Rajendar is not comfortable with those expensive gifts. He wants to live within his means and is encouraging Anuj to do the same. That is not a wrong thing!! .. Infact that's how parents should be! If Rajender had supported that then Anita would have walked around the house as if she owns them all.. it would have created more problems .. specially since they are already having money issues..

If Anuj had sat down and explained to RS the need of these things and lets bring some change with the new era and all those RS I am sure would have handled it better way !! If he would have first spoken and then had those items come over I think it would have been much comfortable for RS to accept it

children Need support n love all the time..... Anuj was Newly married to a girl who came from an entirely different fiancial status n they NEEDED SOME TIME N UNDERSTANDING to get themselves settled.. WERE They Given that??And Rajinder's always giving ANUJ Ultimatums-LEAVE THE HOUSE😲 IT's MY HOUSE as if Anuj is Nobody in that house!!
The LAck of personality in Anuj,his insecurities are all repurcussions of Rajinder's neglect n ridicule towards his Son for some 'unknown 'reason'!😲

Anuj has no RIGHT to hit upon his sister! What he did was wrong. Clearly, he has stepped on a wrongful note right from the beginning of his marriage. If he isn't stopped now.. he'll never stop. Hitting upon ANYONE is wrong! Anita and Anuj should realize that they have done wrong.

These two stole Rajender's life saving, then hits upon Mili when she confronted him and Rajender should let this go on? No way!! Simi was right - they should have accepted their mistake and said sorry.

I think throwing them out of the house at this point is a rightful thing to do.

I agree , I would have been glad if Anuj apologized and told his father that he would do everything to gain the affection he lost !!

Is this called GOOD PARENTING?? Is this what's call "Baro kaa Barappan"?? Children might n will keep making mistakes,if the parents do not show patience,Sympathy n support,who'll show the right way to the children..? IS THIS THE RIGHT WAY OF SHOWING THE WAY..Huh..?😲 He could've asked Anuj to apologize to Milli(BTW,Mili's brought up as one RUDE brat by 'Indian Standards'..I'm not sure how well can she adjust herself in her sasural...she shouts at her Elder brother n bhabhi always showing anger n spewing hatred😕)

I admire Mili. She is the only girl in the family who has the guts to speak up on what's right! She doesn't care who thinks what about her.
Comeon! Elder brother/bhabhi are not above law. Does that mean that just because they are elder to her, she needs to over look the mistakes they keep making? If Mili is rude then Anita is more ruder than her.. By 'Indian standards' no one questions her FIL like she did, specially when she DID steal her own FILs signatures!! .. is that justified?

Great answer !!!

But instead of giving Anuj a warning or trying to talk to him n understanding his comulsions his father is asking Him to Leave the house?????????????????

That guy was let go by RS despite his fault.. yet instead of admitting his mistake and feeling sorry, he went and slapped Mili when she confronted Anita. In such a situation, Anuj needs to be told to leave with his wife. Clearly, he thinks he has done no wrong and Anita is innocent in forging signatures. If Anuj was made to stay, then Anita would go around misbehaving with everyone (she's already done that with Mili/Simi) and no one would say a word.

Now what'll Rajinder do when he comes to know that Neetu's Pregnant without being married n Simmi's having an affair with a Boy younger than her own younger brother & that's not a thing to be very proud of! Will he Kill his daughters???????????? Throw them out of HIS House? Or is Rajinder going to have a different approach since they're daughters so thay cannot be left wandering on the streets??
Why? What's wrong in being in love with a younger fellow? Anuj was abusive. These three stories have no co-relation. If Simi/Neetu become abusive at some point or misbehave with Anita/Anuj like they did then yes Rajinder has the right to reprimand them ..

I agree The treatment for he daughter would be quite similar but what it will be is in the spur of the moment

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Malini

@Rumii

Voyager

15

Posted: 15 years ago

#9

From Shanti05's Post- Why? What's wrong in being in love with a younger fellow? Anuj was abusive. These three stories have no co-relation. If Simi/Neetu become abusive at some point or misbehave with Anita/Anuj like they did then yes Rajinder has the right to reprimand them ..

ANUJ'S STORY DOES HAVE RELATION WITH SIMMI-NEETU's story :-

..... Actually Rajinder hasn't confronted Anuj for the 1st time only when he stole the FD money..... Rajinder was against throwing a Big Party for his Son getting married(Don't know Why-Even ManjuJi was also not in support of Rajinder for this) and when some items were gifted from Anita's house,Rajinder refused to accpt them (Even for Anita-They Could've kept those items in Anita's room?? If it's Simmi-Abhi's PRIVATE MATTER to have an Affair,if it's Neetu Vicky's CHOICE to have S*X then why shouldn't Anuj-Anita be given that little liberty to choose to keep some Gifts from his In-laws??😲) And when Milli came with the Good News of getting admission in a London College,Rajinder just said MY DAUGHTERS WILL MAKE SETHI FAMILY PROUD and He also said something to ManjuJi about Anuj that was obviously NOT PRAISING HIM!! He's been OVER CRTICIAL OF ANUJ everytime..even When anuj wanted to help him with his shop!😲 When a Child grows up being ridiculed,he has very little or No self esteem like Anuj n I am sorry to say but Rajinder,as anuj's father IS RESPONSIBLE for that!! Anuj himself said that 'I'M GOOD FOR NOTHING For PAPAJI".....

Coming back to the POINT IS THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD FOLLOW RAJINDER'S RULES and looking at the fact How much conservative he is{He was very Critical of Anuj as he's chosen his Bride and he gave Anuj a Serious warning that he has to leave the house if he Installs some gifted Electric Appliances🤢} I don't think It's OK or a Subject of PRIDE for Him that his 'beloved' daughters are having affairs behind his back!!

If Rajinder is SO HEARTBROKEN THAT 1st Anuj has DISOBEYED him then ANUJ HAS CHEATED HIM FOR FD,He Should be HEARTBROKEN THAT NEETU+SIMMI HAVE DISOBEYED RAJINDER's RULES CHEATED THEIR PARENTS TOO!

Now, Why Do I call Neetu-Simmi's Affairs cheating their parents??

Well, Neetu was surely 'expected' to wait for her parents to look for a suitable groom for her but She did not ! & on Top of that she evn had a Physical Relationship..!!

And Simmi..?? OH PLEASE!! Being the eldest in the Family How could she have an affair with a boy who's even younger than her Younger brother😲?? AND ALSO MEET HIM IN THE DARK(I Think It's Quite a SHAME if a young Boy comes to the house of a Young Unmarried indian Girl at Night) After all every Society Does have some 'NORMS'.... and in Middle Class Indian society grooms are elder to brides and boys sneaking in to girls' homes are not considered VERY HONOURABLE,did Simmi Ever think of how hurt her father would be if someone would've seen Abhi that Night..?? IF there's nothing to Hide why doesn't Simmi say about her affair with Abhi but she's Acting with Nakul n her Parents instead??!!😲

.How about this recent fact that Nakul's being invited by Rajinder-Manju n they Don't even know about her affair..?? Wouldn't that be a SHAME ON SETHIS that they are inviting somebody for their daughter Who's not intentional in marrying him at all but she's just Acting?

NOT ONLY MISBEHAVING IS BAD,BEHAVING IRRESPONSIBLY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED EQUALLY BAD!!

Shanti,I fully agree Anita misbehaves with her In-laws but it's also true that Mili's Very Misbehaving..... when simmi was talking to Anuj Anita.did Mili need to interfere n Shout?? I'm NOT SUPPORTING ANUJ/Anita but just saying that none of Rajinder's children are Perfect{Rajinder's OVER parenting for a married son n shouting is to be blamed too} So Why BLAME ANUJ ANITA ALONE..??

Edited by iamindian - 15 years ago

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ramas

@ramas

Alumni

39

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Jess.

i dont get what you are saying....Neetu loves Vicky & Simi loves Abhi
Sure it was wrong of neetu to get with Vicky without knowing him properly....but when you say "if abhi simi consent then it is their business" wouldnt that be the same with Neetu/Vicky? They both consented to have sex. Is it right for Simi to be meeting Abhi secretly? If Abhi-Simi love each other and want to marry each other & if everyone says no, its alright? But when Anuj & Anita wanted to get married everyone thought it was wrong cause simi is older & she looks mean, etc. But it was THEIR business right? & Neetu and Vicky had sex...that was also their business. I dont get why everyone but simi is wrong.?

what I mean was in the context of what vicky nitu did and tha tto have pre marital sex which will end int o unwed preganancy.

yes what Nitu vicky did is also no one's business. But the society does not approve unwed mothers.That is why Nitu is so worried and such occurance bring a shame to a fmily. Nitu at this point has only 2 choices either she can marry vicky or she abort.

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GOOD PARENTING....?????

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