Chapter 21

Reserved!

Please don't toss shoes at me for being totally gone.

Will be posting the update in the evening.

Edited!

A/N: So, here I am with another very late update and there is not really much to say for me. So, I will not say that the work was hectic and then there was a week of festivities followed by another hectic week at work. What I will say, instead, is that thanks a lot for your patience. I can't tell you how nervous it makes me to even log into the forum without having finished an update because I know there will be my lovely readers waiting for me to update, posting comments and enquiring about the delay. It makes me really sad every time but there is very little I can do to change it.

So, please keep bearing with me. This does not mean I will keep posting delayed updates. It just means that I will do my best to not be SO late.

Once again, thank you to each of you for being here and encouraging the story.

Hugs

Kiran!

Now we move on to the LONG update.

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Chapter 21

Birendra Singh Malik felt his legs trembling, unable to hold his weight. He carefully moved to the couch and sat down upon it.

The enormity of what he had just witnessed was still dawning upon him.

Arnav was in love with Khushi. No matter how surprising it sounded to him, Birendra Singh Malik knew it has to be true.

Although, he hadn’t heard the entire conversation having arrived late, he had heard Arnav speak his heart out.

It had made him realize how little he understood his son. And if Arnav was right about Khushi’s feelings, then he has committed a huge mistake.

Of course, all of this was his mistake. He should have talked to Khushi first. He shouldn’t have spoken to Akash about it. But, he had depended upon what he had seen over so many years. He had thought he knew Khushi’s feelings. But feelings change. People change.

No one knew that better than him. Over the years, he has changed so much. For good and bad, he has seen both.

This was definitely his doing.

He has ruined two most important things he had believed would rebuild this family. Akash and Arnav’s brotherhood and Khushi’s friendship with Akash!

Birendra Singh Malik felt the pain shooting in his chest.

“I don’t care” Arnav’s angry and broken words resounded in his head.

Yes, he did deserve all the hate from his son.

~~***~~

Arnav knew he should have gone after Akash. Yet, he didn’t. He had said everything he could have and Akash had totally surprised him with his denial.

So, maybe the two friends needed to sort this out on their own.

Taking in a deep breath, Arnav dialed Khushi’s number.

She received at the first ring.

“Hey” Her voice was happy, enthusiastic.

It made him feel just a bit better. She was happy because of what had happened last night. She was happy because of him. Even if it was going to be ruined in the next two minutes!

“Khushi” He said.

“Arnav” She said his name and Arnav could picture the smile on her face.

God! This was going to be difficult. He was about to ruin her day. But, there was no option.

“I am sorry but I did something” He said.

“Oh! Actually, I did something too” Khushi replied.

“What did you do?” Arnav asked, sure her news wouldn’t be as bad as his.

“I told Babuji that I cannot marry Akash. I mean, I had already told him but this time I made it clear” Khushi said.

“How did he take it?” Arnav asked. He knew he was stalling.

“He said he will support me through all my decisions. But, I knew that already. He’s always been very understanding. So, telling him was merely a formality. I am more conflicted about talking to Akash, though. I haven’t talked to him face to face since all of this went down. But, he had heard me talking to Babuji when I was telling him earlier that I don’t want t to marry him. He hadn’t even reacted to that. I don’t know what is going on in his mind. So, I think I should talk to him as soon as possible” Khushi said.

“Umm..The ‘as soon as possible’ part is happening right now” Arnav said.

“What do you mean?” Khushi asked.

“I said I did something, right? This is what I did. I thought I should talk to Akash. About what I feel! So, I told him a few things about how I am in love with you. And he did not take it well. In fact, he took it really bad. He stormed out of here about fifteen minutes ago. He said he needed to talk to you. So, I am guessing he must be halfway to you by now” Arnav said, his voice really slow.

He waited for Khushi’s response.

“Khushi?” He said when she didn’t speak up.

“Yeah. I am here” She said.

“There is more” Arnav said.

“What?” Khushi’s voice got curious.

“As I was talking to Akash, he overheard us” Arnav said.

“Who?” Khushi asked.

“My father” Arnav said, sighing.

“Oh god!” Khushi’s voice got heavy too.

“How did he react?” Khushi asked.

“I don’t know. He said sorry but I don’t even know what that was about. I was so...frustrated. I didn’t wait for him to say more” Arnav said.

More silence followed on the line.

“What are you thinking, Khushi? Aren’t you going to say anything about Akash? Should I have not told him before you talked to him?” Arnav asked.

“No! No! That is not what I am thinking, Arnav. It’s alright that you told him. He is your brother. You must have wanted to clear things from your end. I understand, Arnav. In fact, I think it is a good thing that you told him first. Had I told him first, he must have felt deceived by you. So, maybe this is a better way. Let him come. I will talk to him” Khushi said.

“Are you sure? He left here very unsettled. Maybe we should have talked to him together. But, I had no idea he would take this so hard” Arnav shook his head, feeling guilty. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that Akash maybe in love with her too. That is what Arnav was dreading the most. Maybe he had been right all along. Maybe Akash too felt something for Khushi.

“Don’t worry, Arnav. What is done is done. You did the right thing. Besides, Akash can really be an ass sometimes. I will talk to him and call you. And, I know this is a lot to ask, but can you please keep an eye on Malik Uncle? I had talked to Doctor Uncle yesterday and he had told me Uncle is not doing too well since last few days. Despite everything, I don’t want him to fall sick even more. If he has heard you talking to Akash, I think you should talk to Uncle. Hear his side and share yours, you know? I mean only if you think it wouldn’t be too much. I just..I don’t want anyone to be hurt because of..us” Khushi said.

Arnav listened to her.

“There is nothing that I want to say to him, Khushi. It does not matter to me what he thinks about what I feel for you. All of this is his mistake. In only he hadn’t hurried with this, Akash and I wouldn’t be standing where we are” Arnav said, running a hand through his hair.

“We don’t know that, Arnav. I think somehow we might have ended up here sooner or later. All Malik Uncle did …he made it happen sooner. But, just like you couldn’t have predicted Akash’s anger, Malik Uncle couldn’t have predicted about you and me. So, while this might be his fault, I cannot blame him completely. Because, it is my fault too! It is I who was confused. I told him I loved Akash, even if it was a a long time ago. I never tried telling him otherwise, thinking I don’t have to. I could have talked to Akash about all this, but I never did. I was too scared that it will reopen a chapter I had closed long ago. So, this is my fault too” Khushi said.

“I too should have told Akash long ago” Arnav said.

“That is what I am saying. None of us have been too open with each other and that is the problem. That’s what is causing all this. So, instead of blaming each other, we should try to understand each other” Khushi explained and despite not wanting to, Arnav nodded.

“So, what should I do now?” He asked her.

“Talk to Malik Uncle. About this, or about anything else you want to” Khushi said.

“Okay” Arnav replied, thoughtful.

“Okay. I will call you once I am done talking to Akash” Khushi said.

“Khushi?” Arnav said.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you” Arnav said.

It made Khushi smile.

“I miss you more. I will see you in the evening” She said.

“Where?” Arnav asked.

“Aamra Kunj” Khushi said.

“Done!” Arnav smiled too and disconnected.

Putting the cell phone in his pocket, he walked out of his room and back into the hall where he had left Birendra Singh Malik.

It took him five minutes to reach downstairs and when he arrived there, he found the man sitting on the sofa, sweating and panting.

What happened in the ten minutes that he was gone?

He quickly walked up to him and sat down before him.

“What is wrong?” He asked him, helping him sit properly.

“I am sorry, son” Birendra Singh Malik repeated his earlier words.

Arnav tried not to dwell on that.

“Hema! Dayal” Arnav yelled the names of the servants who were most probably around.

One of them appeared and looked between Arnav and Malik.

“Get a glass of water” Arnav said.

“Ji, Chote Saheb” The man replied and rushed off to the kitchen.

“How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” Arnav asked his father, watching as Birendra Singh Malik gasped for breath.

“I need to rest” Malik spoke between breaths.

“Are you sure? I think we need to take you to the hospital. Should I call the doctor?” Arnav asked, sweat beads developing on his own forehead.

“Water, Chote Saheb” The servant offered Arnav the glass of water.

“Here, drink this..slowly” Arnav placed the water glass to Malik’s mouth who took small sips until the glass was empty.

“More?” Arnav asked, as Malik’s breaths became steadier.

Malik shook his head.

“Bed! I want to lie down” He spoke, voice still strained.

Arnav helped him stand and tried to help him walk.

“I feel better. My walking stick” Malik pointed to the stick that was resting against the couch.

Arnav handed him the stick but still held him from one side as Malik started walking back to the room.

“Do you purposely wait for the moments when I am alone in the house so that you can pass out?” Arnav asked, as they reached the guest room and he helped Malik get in the bed.

Malik looked at Arnav’s face with surprise and guilt.

This was the first time Arnav had asked him a general question. A question that had nothing to do with their past or their present complications.

“No. I do not do it purposely” Malik spoke between slow, deep breaths.

Arnav watched as Malik seemed to stabilize.

“Do you need more water?” Arnav asked.

“No” Malik shook his head.

“Good. Then let me be straight” Arnav said, taking a seat.

“You have always and always let me down. But, this time I will not let you do that. I am not saying this because I want you to heal whatever you have broken between us. I am saying it because if you let me down one more time, there will be no coming back. I might not forgive you for anything you have done but if you take this one thing away from me, you are all but asking for my life. Because, that is what she is for me. She is that important for me. I might have taken a long time to realize this but now that I have, I will not let you take her away from me. I love her” Arnav said, in one long, heated sentence.

When he finished, he noticed his father’s pained face. Pained and yet smiling.

“If you love her and she feels the same way, I will not stand between you two, son. Never! I know what it means to be married to a person you do not love. I would never do that to Khushi, or Akash or you" Malik said.

Arnav stared at his father in shock. Birendra Singh Malik is agreeing with what he wants?

He is giving up so easily? Is he going to jeopardize his plans of marrying Akash to Khushi for his sake?

“You would not force Khushi to marry Akash? You would not convince her that Akash is the better choice?” Arnav asked, his tone laced with disbelief. How can he trust what this man is saying?

“You are my son too, Arnav. I know I have never made you feel like that but I cannot change the past. I cannot undo my mistakes. If I had the option and the power, I would go back in time and live my life differently. I would make different choices. And the one thing I would definitely do differently is to love my son. To make him feel wanted and cared for” Birendra Singh Malik said, his eyes dampening.

“And I could never say to Khushi that Akash is the better choice for her. For me, you are as good as Akash. Maybe even better than Akash. Akash has only seen my good side. It is easy for him for love me. But you? You have seen the worst and yet here you are! Helping me. Repeatedly. No matter how much I despise Devyani, but she has raised you well. You are a better human than I ever was” Birendra said.

Arnav listened and swallowed. The words were oddly relaxing to him. He hadn’t expected to be moved by what his father thought of him. Yet he was.

Was it really true what they say? Is the line between hate and love really thin? Has he been so angry all these years because somewhere, deep down, he cares about this man? Arnav told himself that he doesn’t want to find out the answer of this. He doesn’t need to.

“Akash is quite upset by what I told him. You have caused this damage. It is your job to repair it” Arnav said, steadying his voice and mind.

“Akash will come around” Malik said, voice still full of guilt.

“How do you know?” Arnav asked.

“Because it’s you! And Khushi! The minute he will realize he is standing between two people who care about him, he will back off. He just needs some time to process this shift in his life. It doesn’t help that he thinks I want this marriage to take place. My wishes have always superseded his judgement. That is why he was always so fascinated with befriending you. Because he knew I wanted you around in the house” Malik continued.

“I know that” Arnav said.

“And you still allowed him to become a part of your life” Malik said.

“I did it for myself. It was not his fault that you adopted him. He was doing what he thought was good for the family. I was doing what I thought a good person should do. I was not going to punish him for your actions”

“Like I punished you for Sujata's actions?”

Arnav did not speak.

“You were trying to not become like me” Malik continued.

“I think we are done here. Take rest. I will ask Hema to keep an eye on you” Arnav said and got up.

“Thank you, son” Malik said but Arnav was already walking away.

~~**~~

Khushi stared at the clock on the wall. Akash still hadn’t shown up and she was starting to get worried.

She decided to call him. She was still dialing the number when the doorbell rang.

Taking in a deep breath, she walked up to the door.

“Come in” She said, after opening the door and finding Akash.

Akash walked in and closed the door.

Then he sat down on the couch.

“What is going on, Khushi?” He asked after a few seconds had passed.

Khushi sat down opposite to him.

“What are you talking about Akash?” She asked. She knew what he was talking about but she needed him to be more specific.

Was he asking about what was going on between Arnav and her?

“I am talking about us. What is going on with us? With our friendship?” Akash looked up at Khushi.

“We are friends, Akash. We always have been. We always will” Khushi answered, placing a hand on his knee.

Akash pulled away from her touch.

“Friends? Are you sure? Because I don’t feel it anymore! In fact, I haven’t felt like your friend for weeks now. I shared this with you earlier as well but you brushed it off. Every day that has passed by I have felt you receding from our friendship. But when Baba told me about your feelings, I realized what a fool I have been. I have been so ignorant and unaware about what you felt for me. And I thought that now you are pulling away from me because you have had enough of my ignorance. That you’re disappointed in me! That is why in your birthday party I tried to tell you that I know now. I tried to tell you that I can begin to change myself…for you. I was ready to marry you, Khushi. It was the happiest I have been in a long time. But, you said no. I heard you saying no to your Babuji. Still I thought that it is because you are angry with me. I was so sure that I could talk to you and make it up to you. But, you kept telling me that we will talk later. You kept evading me. So, I want to know. Tell me now. What is really going on? Are you backing off because you don’t want me in your life anymore?”

Khushi found herself at a loss of words. Akash’s outburst was spinning her head. But she composed herself.

“What nonsense are you talking about, Akash? Why would I not want you in my life? How can you even think in this way? After all these years, do I have to tell you that you’re important to me? Don’t you know this already?” Khushi said, her voice turning angry.

“I don’t know anything anymore. Everything is so changed” Akash said, staring at Khushi.

“Nothing has changed, Akash. At least not for me! You are still my best friend” Khushi replied.

“And Bhai? Who is he? What does he mean to you?” Akash asked, watching Khushi closely.

“Arnav means a lot to me” Khushi replied, not looking away from Akash’s penetrating gaze.

“More than me?” Akash asked.

“What kind of a question is that, Akash? Both are different things” Khushi said.

“I don’t think it is different at all. It is the same thing. I mean a lot to you and now you’re saying Bhai means a lot to you. I want to know who means more? Because, on one side, you have me. Your best friend of fourteen years. And you just met Bhai. How long has it been? A month?” Akash said.

Khushi felt her skin tingling with the anger she felt.

“It does not matter when I met Arnav. In fact, none of this has anything to do with Arnav. This is about you and me. Us. This is about what Malik Uncle told you. He told you that I loved you and he said he wants us to be married. All of this is about that, Akash. Because, if he hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t even be sitting here, arguing with me. But he told you. And instead of asking me why I never told you this, you’re fixed upon Arnav” Khushi said.

“I know why you didn’t tell me. Because you thought I liked someone else. You thought I liked Arpita!” Akash cut in.

“Thought? Why do you mean by thought?” Khushi asked.

“It means that I never liked her” Akash said in a calm voice.

“But you always talked about her” Khushi said, her eyes narrowed.

“Yes! I did. Only to you! Because, I wanted to see what you would think of it! I wanted to see how you would react. If you will be jealous! But, you simply did not care. You acted happy for me” Akash said.

Khushi shook her head.

“That is not true. I read your letters. I saw your box. All those love-letters” Khushi said, still shaking her head.

It was Akash’s turn to be surprised.

“You saw my box?”

“A long time ago” Khushi said.

“And you think those letters were for Arpita?” Akash asked.

“Who else will they be for? You always talked about how much you liked her” Khushi said, feeling just as confused.

“If the letters would have been for her why wouldn’t I show them to you? Why would I hide the box from you?” Akash said, looking Khushi straight in the eye.

Khushi stood up, her face changing emotions too fast for Akash to read.

“What are you saying, Akash?” Khushi asked, her voice dropping.

“You know what I am saying, Khushi. Those letters were for you. But, I could never give them to you. In fact, I didn’t want to. It was just my way of figuring out my thoughts. I used to write them to see what I felt. To figure out the things I would say to you. But, I could never say anything. Then, you lost Garima Aunty and I knew there was no way I was going to trouble our friendship in any way. But, through Arpita, I thought I could guess your feelings because you too had never said a word to me. Years went by and I became sure that expecting anything more is too much of a risk. I already had you in my life, in my house. That was enough” Akash said.

Khushi simply watched him in shock.

“When Baba told me..I can’t tell you what a shock it was for me. I could not believe him initially. And I decided that I will not tell you about what I had done. I was ashamed for being too much of a coward to admit my feelings. I was ashamed that I had used Arpita’s name to figure out your feelings when I could have simply asked you. I thought this is my chance. That things have finally figured out on their own” Akash continued.

“Don’t you see, Khushi? All of this..we are meant to be together. Or, why would all of this happen after so many years? After you gave you hope? After I gave up hope? Now, there is nothing standing between us. IN fact, no one was ever in our way. It was just our insecurities that stopped us. Baba has made this possible now. He wants this for us. This will make him happy. This will make us happy” Akash moved closer to her, holding Khushi’s hand in his.

“I can’t believe this” Khushi said, shaking her head.

“It is true, Khushi. We can finally have our happy ending” Akash smiled.

Khushi watched Akash’s face, his smile and his hands holding her hands.

She swallowed the lump that was building in her throat. This cannot be happening.

“Arnav..” She tried to speak.

The smile on Akash’s face faltered.

“Don’t worry about Bhai. I will talk to him. He will understand, Khushi. He knows how long we have been friends for. I didn’t tell him about this..about what I felt. But, I will. I will tell him that I love you. I am sure he will understand. All these years he managed without you just fine. Both of us will talk to him. You will have to tell him that you love me. We can also tell him that you started talking to him only because I asked you to. We can make everything clear to him. Once we do that, once you tell him all this, Bhai will understand. I am sure. He too would understand that two people who love each other should be together. Isn’t that what we all learnt from Baba’s life?” Akash said.

Khushi nodded her head.

“You are right, Akash. That’s what we learnt from Malik Uncle’s life. People who do not love each other should not be together” Khushi said, stepping back from Akash.

Akash watched as Khushi reached for her phone.

“What are you doing?” Akash asked.

“I am calling Arnav” Khushi said, looking in the phone.

“Now?” Akash asked.

“Yes” Khushi said, waiting as the phone rang.

“Why?” Akash asked.

“You said it, Akash. Two people who do not love each other should not be together. And two people who love each other should be! So, I love Arnav. He loves me. And I need to tell him that” Khushi said.

Akash stared at Khushi.

“What are you saying, Khushi?” He asked, flustered.

“I am saying that I feel like I don’t even know you anymore, Akash. And I am saying that I love Arnav. I love him. I can’t believe I didn’t say it to him last night. He said everything and I didn’t say the words to him. I was waiting to fix everything before saying anything. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you! But, if I had known this is how our conversation was going to turn out, I would have told him” Khushi said, dialing the number again when it wasn’t received.

Khushi was shocked when Akash snatched the phone from Khushi’s hand.

“Do you know what you are saying, Khushi?” Akash asked.

“Yes! I know what I am saying, Akash. I am sorry but I don’t love you. Yes I did. Years ago. But, I stopped. I moved on long before I even read the letters you had written. And I didn’t stop because I thought you didn’t love me. I just outgrew the feelings, Akash. It was a phase. A long phase but it wasn’t meant to last. I realized that the love I really want…it is not you, Akash. That is why I never told you about all of this. Because it didn’t matter. I had no idea that one day Malik Uncle will tell you and this would become so complicated. Especially at a time like this! When I was busy figuring out what was happening to me. I was falling in love with Arnav. Every day that I spent with him, every minute, I could feel it. Do you know I almost lost him? Because of you? I told you not to talk to Arnav. But, you did. You went behind my back and you talked to him” Khushi said.

Akash looked away for a second.

“He thought that I loved you. Because you told him that. Even though I have never said it to you, you still told him that I loved you. Do you know what he was prepared to do when he thought I wanted to marry you? He was ready to leave. He had his ticket booked and he was all set to leave. Just because he didn’t want to get in my way. In your way!”

Khushi paused for a break while Akash soaked in the new revelation.

“Do you see the difference, Akash? When Arnav thought that he was getting between us, he was ready to leave. He was ready to set aside his feelings. The man who has never had anything in his life was ready to give up without any fight the one thing he could have. For you! For me! But, I stopped him. Because I could not imagine losing him. You asked me that how can he mean so much to me in a month? It is not a month, Akash. While Arnav and I have met only one or two months ago, he has been in my life for as long as you have been. He has loved me longer than I could have thought. Without being selfish! Without demanding anything. I don’t know what love is, Akash. But it has to be what Arnav has for me. I have felt it in his words, in his actions. In his willingness to step aside for me. For saying that he is happy for me if I want to marry you” Khushi said.

Akash shook his head.

“He called me when you left from the Mahal” Khushi said further.

Akash looked at Khushi.

“Do you know why he did that? Because he was concerned about you! He said you were very unsettled. But, here you come and tell me that you love me. You tell me that Arnav will have to understand. He will have to back off. You said all this after knowing what he feels about me. Is this really you, Akash? I know I have made mistakes. I am equally responsible for this mess but I never thought you would say such things. That you would be so ready to hurt Arnav! The brother you called from Delhi and he came” Khushi said.

Once she was done she waited for Akash to speak.

But Akash simply put down her phone on the table before them.

“I have to go” He said.

Khushi didn’t stop him.

She watched him leave and then she sat down on the couch, praying to Devi Maiyya that Akash would come around.

~~**~~