Chapter 21

Reserved!

Please don't toss shoes at me for being totally gone.

Will be posting the update in the evening.

Edited!

A/N: So, here I am with another very late update and there is not really much to say for me. So, I will not say that the work was hectic and then there was a week of festivities followed by another hectic week at work. What I will say, instead, is that thanks a lot for your patience. I can't tell you how nervous it makes me to even log into the forum without having finished an update because I know there will be my lovely readers waiting for me to update, posting comments and enquiring about the delay. It makes me really sad every time but there is very little I can do to change it.

So, please keep bearing with me. This does not mean I will keep posting delayed updates. It just means that I will do my best to not be SO late.

Once again, thank you to each of you for being here and encouraging the story.

Hugs

Kiran!

Now we move on to the LONG update.

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Chapter 21

Birendra Singh Malik felt his legs trembling, unable to hold his weight. He moved carefully to the couch and sat down upon it.

The enormity of what he'd just witnessed was still dawning on him.

Arnav was in love with Khushi. However surprising it sounded, Birendra Singh Malik knew it has to be true.

He hadn't heard the whole conversation, having arrived late, but he had heard enough. Arnav speaking his heart out.

It had made him realize how little he understood his son. And if Arnav was right about Khushi’s feelings, then he has made a huge mistake.

Of course, all of this was his doing. He should have spoken to Khushi first. He shouldn't have gone to Akash about it. But he had relied on what he had observed over the years. He had thought he knew Khushi's feelings. But feelings change. People change.

No one knew that better than he did. Over the years, he had changed so much himself. For good, and for worse. He had seen both.

This was his doing.

He has ruined two most important things he had believed would rebuild this family. Akash and Arnav’s brotherhood and Khushi’s friendship with Akash!

Pain shot through his chest.

I don't care. Arnav's angry, broken words resounded in his head.

Yes. He deserved every bit of his son's hate.

~~***~~

Arnav knew he should have gone after Akash. Yet, he didn’t. He had said everything he could have and Akash's denial had caught him entirely off guard.

Maybe the two friends needed to work this out on their own.

Taking a deep breath, Arnav dialed Khushi's number.

She picked up on the first ring.

"Hey" Her voice was bright, eager.

It eased something in him, just slightly. She was happy because of last night. Because of him. Even if that happiness was about to be undone in the next two minutes.

"Khushi," he said.

"Arnav." She said his name, and he could picture the smile forming on her face.

God. This was going to be hard. He was about to ruin her day, and there was no way around it.

"I am sorry, but I did something," he said.

"Actually, I did something too," Khushi replied.

"What did you do?" he asked, certain her news couldn't be as bad as his.

"I told Babuji that I cannot marry Akash. I mean, I had already told him, but this time I made it clear."

“How did he take it?” Arnav asked. He knew he was stalling.

“He said he will support me through all my decisions. But, I knew that already. He’s always been very understanding. So, telling him was merely a formality. I am more conflicted about talking to Akash, though. I haven’t talked to him face to face since all of this went down. But, he had heard me talking to Babuji when I was telling him earlier that I don’t want t to marry him. He hadn’t even reacted to that. I don’t know what is going on in his head. So, I think I should talk to him as soon as possible” Khushi said.

“Umm..The ‘as soon as possible’ part is happening right now” Arnav said.

“What do you mean?” Khushi asked.

“I said I did something, right? This is what I did. I thought I should talk to Akash. About what I feel! So, I told him a few things about how I am in love with you. And he did not take it well. He took it really badly, actually. He stormed out of here about fifteen minutes ago. He said he needed to talk to you. So, I am guessing he must be halfway to you by now” Arnav said, his voice really slow.

"Khushi?" he said, when she didn't respond.

"Yeah. I am here."

"There is more," Arnav said.

"What?" Her voice sharpened with curiosity.

"While I was talking to Akash, someone overheard us."

"Who?"

"My father," Arnav said, sighing.

“Oh god!” Khushi’s voice got heavy too.

“How did he react?” she asked.

"I don't know. He said sorry, but I don't even know what that was about. I was so frustrated I didn't wait to hear more."

More silence stretched over the line.

"What are you thinking, Khushi? Aren't you going to say anything about Akash? Should I not have told him before you talked to him?"

“No! No! That is not what I am thinking, Arnav. It’s alright that you told him. He is your brother. You must have wanted to clear things from your end. I understand. Honestly, I think it is a good thing that you told him first. Had I told him first, he must have felt deceived by you. So, maybe this the better way. Let him come. I will talk to him” Khushi said.

“Are you sure? He left here very unsettled. Maybe we should have talked to him together. But, I had no idea he would take this so hard” Arnav shook his head, guilt gnawing at him. He couldn't bring himself to tell her what he feared most. That Akash maybe in love with her too. That maybe he had been right all along.

“Don’t worry, Arnav. What is done is done. You did the right thing. Besides, Akash can really be an ass sometimes. I will talk to him and call you." She paused. "And, I know this is a lot to ask, but can you please keep an eye on Malik Uncle? I spoke to Doctor Uncle yesterday and he had told me Uncle is not doing too well since last few days. Despite everything, I don’t want him to fall sicker. If he heard you talking to Akash, I think you should talk to Uncle. Hear his side and share yours, you know? I mean only if you think it wouldn’t be too much. I just..I don’t want anyone to be hurt because of..us” Khushi said.

Arnav listened quietly.

“There is nothing that I want to say to him, Khushi. It does not matter to me what he thinks about what I feel for you. All of this is his mistake. In only he hadn’t hurried with this, Akash and I wouldn’t be standing where we are” Arnav said, running a hand through his hair.

"We don't know that, Arnav. I think we might have ended up here sooner or later, one way or another. All Malik Uncle did was make it happen sooner. But just like you couldn't have predicted Akash's anger, he couldn't have predicted about you and me. So while this might be his fault, I can't blame him entirely. It is my fault too. I was the one who was confused. I told him I loved Akash, even if it was a long time ago. I never corrected it, thinking I didn't need to. I could have talked to Akash myself about all this, but I never did. I was too scared that it will reopen something I had closed long ago. So this is on me too." Khushi said.

"I should have told Akash long ago too," Arnav said.

“That is what I am saying. None of us have been too open with each other and that is the real problem. That’s what is causing all this. So, instead of blaming each other, we should try to understand each other” Khushi explained and despite not wanting to, Arnav nodded.

“So, what should I do now?” He asked her.

“Talk to Malik Uncle. About this, or about anything else you want to” Khushi said.

“Okay” Arnav replied, thoughtful.

“Okay. I will call you once I am done talking to Akash” Khushi said.

“Khushi?” Arnav said.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you” Arnav said.

It made Khushi smile.

“I miss you more. I will see you in the evening” She said.

“Where?” Arnav asked.

“Aamra Kunj” Khushi said.

“Done!” Arnav smiled too and disconnected.

Putting the cell phone in his pocket, he walked out of his room and back into the hall where he had left Birendra Singh Malik.

t took him five minutes to get downstairs, and when he arrived, he found the older man sitting on the sofa, sweating, breath coming in shallow gasps.

What had happened in the ten minutes he'd been gone?

He crossed the room quickly and crouched before him.

"What is wrong?" he asked, helping him sit up straighter.

"I am sorry, son," Birendra Singh Malik repeated.

Arnav pushed past it, refusing to dwell.

"Hema! Dayal!" he called out, his voice carrying through the hall.

One of the servants appeared, glancing between Arnav and Malik.

"Get a glass of water."

"Ji, Chote Saheb." The man replied and rushed off to the kitchen.

"How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" Arnav asked, watching his father gasp for breath.

"I need to rest," Malik managed between breaths.

"Are you sure? I think we should take you to the hospital. Should I call the doctor?" Arnav asked, sweat beading on his own forehead now.

"Water, Chote Saheb," the servant said, offering the glass.

"Here...drink this slowly." Arnav held it to Malik's lips, and Malik sipped until the glass was empty.

"More?" Arnav asked as his father's breathing steadied.

Malik shook his head.

“Bed! I want to lie down” He spoke, voice still strained.

Arnav helped him up and began walking him toward the room.

"My walking stick," Malik said, pointing.

Arnav handed it to him but kept a hand at his side as they made their way slowly to the guest room.

"Do you purposely wait for the moments when I am alone in the house so that you can pass out?" Arnav asked as they reached the guest room and he helped Malik into bed.

Malik looked at him, surprised, and something like guilt crossed his face.

It was the first time Arnav had asked him something ordinary. A question that had nothing to do with their past or their present complications.

“No. I do not do it on purpose” Malik said between slow, deep breaths.

Arnav watched him stabilize.

“Do you need more water?” He asked.

“No” Malik shook his head.

“Good. Then let me be straight with you” Arnav said, taking a seat.

“You have always and always let me down. But, this time I will not let you do it again. I am not saying this because I want you to heal whatever you have broken between us. I am saying it because if you let me down one more time, there will be no coming back. I might not forgive you for anything you have done but if you take this one thing away from me, you are all but asking for my life. Because, that is what Khushi is for me. She is that important for me. I might have taken a long time to realize this but now that I have, I will not let you take her away from me. I love her” Arnav said, in one long, heated sentence.

When he finished, he saw his father's face, pained, and yet smiling through it.

“If you love her and she feels the same way, I will not stand between you two, son. Never! I know what it means to be married to someone you do not love. I would never do that to Khushi, or Akash or you" Malik said.

Arnav stared at his father in stunned silence. Birendra Singh Malik is agreeing with what he wants? He is giving up so easily? Is he going to jeopardize his plans of marrying Akash to Khushi for his sake?

“You would not force Khushi to marry Akash? You would not convince her that Akash is the better choice?” Arnav asked, his tone laced with disbelief. How could he trust a word of this?

“You are my son too, Arnav. I know I have never made you feel like it but I cannot change the past. I cannot undo my mistakes. If I had the option and the power, I would go back in time and live my life differently. I would make different choices. And the one thing I would do differently, without question, is to love my son. To make him feel wanted and cared for” Birendra Singh Malik said, his eyes dampening.

“And I could never tell Khushi that Akash is the better choice for her. For me, you are every bit as good as Akash. Maybe even better than Akash. Akash has only ever seen my good side. It is easy for him for love me. But you? You have seen the worst and yet here you are! Helping me. Repeatedly. No matter how much I despise Devyani Ji, she has raised you well. You are a better man than I ever was” Birendra said.

Arnav swallowed, the words settling somewhere he hadn't expected them to reach. He hadn't thought he could be moved by what this man thought of him. Yet here he was.

Was it really true what they say? Has he been so angry all these years because somewhere, deep down, he cares about this man? Arnav told himself that he doesn’t want to find out the answer of this. He doesn’t need to.

“Akash is quite upset by what I told him. You have caused this damage. It is on you to fix it," Arnav said, steadying his voice.

"Akash will come around," Malik said, guilt still thick in his tone.

"How do you know that?" Arnav asked.

“Because it’s you! And Khushi! The minute he will realize he is standing between two people who care about him, he will back off. He just needs some time to process this shift in his life. It does not help that he thinks I want this marriage to take place. My wishes have always outweighed his own judgement. That is why he was always so fascinated with befriending you. Because he knew I wanted you around in the house” Malik continued.

"I know that," Arnav said.

“And you still allowed him to become a part of your life” Malik said.

“I did it for myself. It was not his fault you adopted him. He was doing what he thought was good for the family. I was doing what I thought a decent person should do. I was not going to punish him for your actions”

“Like I punished you for Sujata's actions?”

Arnav did not answer.

“You were trying not to become me” Malik continued.

“I think we are done here. Take rest. I will ask Hema to keep an eye on you” Arnav said and got up.

“Thank you, son” Malik said but Arnav was already walking away.

~~**~~

Khushi stared at the clock on the wall. Akash still hadn’t shown up and she was starting to get worried.

She decided to call him. She was still dialing the number when the doorbell rang.

Taking in a deep breath, she walked up to the door.

“Come in” She said, after opening the door and finding Akash.

He walked in, closed the door behind him, and sat down on the couch.

"What is going on, Khushi?" he asked, after a few seconds of silence.

Khushi sat down across from him. "What are you talking about, Akash?" She asked. She knew what he was talking about but she needed him to be more specific.

Was he asking about what was going on between Arnav and her?

“I am talking about us. What is going on with us? With our friendship?” Akash looked up at her.

“We are friends, Akash. We always have been. We always will” Khushi answered, resting a hand on his knee.

Akash pulled away from her touch.

“Friends? Are you sure? Because I don’t feel it anymore! In fact, I haven’t felt like your friend for weeks now. I shared this with you earlier as well but you brushed it off. Every day that has passed by, I have felt you receding from our friendship. And when Baba told me about your feelings, I realized what a fool I have been. I have been so ignorant and unaware about what you felt for me. And I thought that now you are pulling away from me because you have had enough of my ignorance. That you’re disappointed in me! That is why in the birthday party I tried to tell you that I know now. I tried to tell you that I can begin to change myself…for you. I was ready to marry you, Khushi. It was the happiest I had felt in a long time. But, you said no. I heard you saying no to your Babuji. Still I thought that it is because you are angry with me. I was so sure that I could talk to you and make it up to you. But, you kept telling me that we will talk later. You kept avoiding me. So, tell me now. What is really going on? Are you backing off because you don’t want me in your life anymore?”

Khushi found herself at a loss of words. Akash’s outburst was spinning through head. But she steadied herself.

"What nonsense are you talking, Akash? Why would I not want you in my life? How could you even think that? After all these years, do I really have to tell you how important you are to me? Don't you already know?" Her voice sharpened with anger.

"I don't know anything anymore. Everything feels changed." He said, staring at Khushi.

"Nothing has changed, Akash. Not for me. You're still my best friend." She replied.

“And Bhai? Who is he? What does he mean to you?” Akash asked, watching her closely.

"Arnav means a lot to me," Khushi replied, not looking away from Akash’s penetrating gaze.

"More than me?" Akash asked.

"What kind of question is that, Akash? Both are different things."

“I don’t think it is different at all. It is the same thing. I mean a lot to you and now you’re telling me Bhai means a lot to you too. I want to know who means more? Because, on one side, you have me. Your best friend of fourteen years. And you just met Bhai. How long has it been? A month?” Akash said.

Khushi felt anger crawl under her skin.

“It does not matter when I met Arnav. In fact, none of this has anything to do with Arnav. This is about you and me. Us. This is about what Malik Uncle told you. He told you that I loved you, that he wants us married. All of this is about that, Akash. Because, if he hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t even be sitting here, arguing with me. But he told you. And instead of asking me why I never told you this, you’re fixated on Arnav” Khushi said.

"I know why you didn't tell me. Because you thought I liked someone else. You thought I liked Arpita." Akash cut in.

“Thought? Why do you mean by thought?” Khushi asked.

“It means that I never liked her” Akash said in a calm voice.

"But you always talked about her," Khushi said, eyes narrowing, unbelieving.

“Yes! I did. Only to you! Because, I wanted to see what you would think of it! I wanted to see how you would react. If you will be jealous! But, you simply did not care. You acted happy for me” Akash said.

Khushi shook her head. "That is not true. I read your letters. I saw the box. All those love letters." Khushi said.

Akash's surprise was immediate. "You saw my box?"

“You saw my box?”

“A long time ago” Khushi said.

“And you think those letters were for Arpita?” Akash asked.

"Who else would they be for? You always talked about how much you liked her." Khushi said, feeling just as confused.

“If the letters would have been for her why wouldn’t I show them to you? Why would I hide the box from you?” Akash said, looking Khushi straight in the eye.

Khushi stood up, her face changing emotions too fast for Akash to read.

"What are you saying, Akash?" Khushi asked, her voice dropping.

“You know what I am saying, Khushi. Those letters were for you. But, I could never give them to you. In fact, I didn’t even want to. It was just my way of figuring out my thoughts. I used to write them to see what I felt. What I'd want to say to you. But, I could never say anything. Then, you lost Garima Aunty and I knew there was no way I was going to trouble our friendship in any way. But, through Arpita, I thought I could guess your feelings because you too had never said a word to me. Years went by and I became sure that expecting anything more is too much of a risk. I already had you in my life, in my house. That was enough” Akash said.

Khushi stared at him, stunned.

“When Baba told me..I can’t tell you what a shock it was for me. I could not believe him initially. And I decided that I will not tell you about what I had done. I was ashamed for being too much of a coward to admit my feelings. I was ashamed that I had used Arpita’s name to figure out your feelings when I could have simply asked you. I thought this is my chance. That things have finally sorted themselves out.” Akash continued.

“Don’t you see, Khushi? All of this..we are meant to be together. Why else would this happen after so many years? After you gave up hope, after I gave up hope? There is nothing standing between us now. There never really was. It was just our own fear. Baba has made this possible. He wants this for us. This will make him happy. This will make us happy" Akash moved closer to her, taking her hand in his.

"I can't believe this," Khushi said, shaking her head.

"It is true, Khushi. We can finally have our happy ending." He smiled.

Khushi looked at Akash. His smile, his hands wrapped around hers and swallowed the lump rising in her throat. This couldn't be happening.

“Arnav..” She tried to speak.

The smile on Akash’s face faltered.

“Don’t worry about Bhai. I will talk to him. He will understand, Khushi. He knows how long we have been friends. I didn’t tell him about this..about what I felt. But, I will. I will tell him that I love you. I am sure he will understand. All these years he managed without you just fine. Both of us will talk to him together. You will tell him that you love me. We can also tell him that you started talking to him only because I asked you to. We can make everything clear to him. Once we do that, once you tell him all this, Bhai will understand. I am sure. He would agree..would understand that two people who love each other should be together. Isn’t that what we all learnt from Baba’s life?” Akash said.

Khushi nodded slowly.

“You are right, Akash. That’s what we learnt from Malik Uncle’s life. People who do not love each other should not be together” Khushi said, stepping back from Akash.

Akash watched as Khushi reached for her phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I am calling Arnav," she said, eyes on the screen.

"Now?"

"Yes." She waited as it rang.

“Yes” Khushi said, waiting as the phone rang.

“Why?” Akash asked.

"You said it yourself, Akash. Two people who don't love each other shouldn't be together. And two people who do, should be. So, I love Arnav. He loves me. And I need to tell him that."

Akash stared at her. "What are you saying, Khushi?" His voice had gone unsteady

“I am saying that I feel like I don’t even know you anymore, Akash. And I am saying that I love Arnav. I love him. I can’t believe I didn’t say it to him last night. He said everything and I didn’t say the words to him. I was waiting to fix everything before saying anything. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you! But, if I had known this is how our conversation was going to turn out, I would have told him right then” Khushi said, dialing the number again when it wasn’t received.

Khushi was shocked when Akash snatched the phone from Khushi’s hand.

“Do you know what you are saying, Khushi?” Akash asked.

“Yes! I know exactly what I am saying, Akash. I am sorry but I don’t love you. I did. Years ago. But, I stopped. I moved on long before I even read the letters you had written. And I didn’t stop because I thought you didn’t love me. I just outgrew the feelings, Akash. It was a phase. A long phase but it wa never meant to last. I realized that the love I really want…it is not you, Akash. That is why I never said anything. I had no idea that one day Malik Uncle will tell you and this would become so complicated. Turn into...this! Especially at a time like this! When I was busy figuring out what was happening to me. When I was falling in love with Arnav. Every day that I spent with him, every minute, I could feel it. Do you know I almost lost him? Because of you? I told you not to talk to Arnav. But, you did it anyway. Went behind my back." Khushi said.

Akash looked away for a second.

“He thought that I loved you. Because you told him so. Even though I have never said it to you, you still told him that I loved you. Do you know what he was prepared to do when he thought I wanted to marry you? He was ready to leave. He had his ticket booked and he was all prepared to walk away. Just so he wouldn't stand in way. In your way!”

Khushi paused, letting it land.

“Do you see the difference, Akash? The moment Arnav thought he was getting between us, he was ready to leave. Ready to give up the one thing he might have had! For you! For me! A man who has never really had anything in his life, ready to walk away without a fight. And you ask me how he could mean so much in a month? It's not a month, Akash. Arnav and I only met a couple of months ago, but he has been in my life for as long as you have been. He has loved me longer than I could have thought. Without being selfish! Without demanding anything. I don’t know what love is, Akash. But it has to be what Arnav has for me. I have felt it in his words, in his actions. In his willingness to step aside for me. In saying that he is happy for me if I want to marry you” Khushi said.

Akash shook his head.

“He called me when you left from the Mahal” Khushi said further.

Akash looked up at Khushi.

“Do you know why he did that? Because he was worried about you! He said you were very unsettled. But, here you come and tell me that you love me. You tell me that Arnav will have to understand. He will have to back off. You said all this after knowing what he feels about me. Is this really you, Akash? I know I have made mistakes. I am equally responsible for this mess but I never thought you would say such things. That you would be so ready to hurt Arnav! The brother you called from Delhi! Who came!” Khushi said.

Once she was done she waited for Akash to speak.

But Akash simply set her phone down on the table between them.

"I have to go," he said.

Khushi didn't stop him.

She watched him leave and then she sat down on the couch, praying to Devi Maiyya that Akash would come around.

~~**~~