Chapter 22

Chapter 22

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ONE WEEK LATER

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Arnav massaged his temples with his fingers, trying to focus on the file before him. But all he saw was a black blur. He threw the file across the room and exhaled loudly.

"ASR?" Barely seconds had passed before Aman, his manager, stepped into the cabin. The fact that Aman was still watching him so closely only made Arnav more furious.

"Are you okay, ASR?" Aman asked, picking up the file from the corner.

“I am going home” Arnav replied and grabbing his coat off the chair as he stood.

"Okay. I'll postpone the meeting with Mittal Corp."

"You take the meeting. I don't want to see him." Arnav was already out of the cabin.

Aman watched his boss leave and sighed. This was the third time in five days his boss had walked out in the middle of the day.

He wondered what was eating at him. Ever since returning from Lucknow, Arnav had seemed unsteady, unpredictable. Aman also thought that sometimes his boss looked utterly sad. But, since it was not his place to say anything, he kept his observations to himself.

He simply hoped things would get better for the man he'd worked alongside for ten years. Because he liked working for Arnav Singh Raizada.

~~**~~

Arnav sat in his car in the parking lot, staring at his phone.

Two missed calls. One unread message.

He exhaled and deleted the message without reading it.

Seven days now, he'd done this.

The night he reached Delhi he had to switch off his phone because it wouldn’t stop ringing.

First it had been Khushi. Calling continuously, for two days, nearly every hour.

Then it had thinned to four or five calls a day. Now, after a week, she called twice.

Every time he ignored her call, something in him ached.

But, he wasn’t ready to hear her voice. He didn’t want to hear what she was going to say.

He hadn’t been ready that day. He wasn’t ready now.

What disappointed him more.. pricked at him daily..was that Akash hadn't called at all. Not once.

His father had called several times. Even Doctor Kumar had called.

Arnav knew there was a limit to how long anyone can keep calling. He waited for the calls to stop so he could go on with his life. The life that he has lived for so many years. It had been a mistake to think that could change. That he would get to live differently, a life filled with love.

Who was he kidding? He doesn’t get love. He has never been that lucky.

But, it is alright. He told himself. He has lived without love so far. So, maybe he can do it again.

Telling himself that for the hundredth time, Arnav started the car and drove to Shantivan.

When he walked into the house, he found his Nani sitting in the drawing room.

She smiled broadly at the sight of him.

“You are early again! I cannot believe you are the same grandson, Chote. One who would not take a day off even after I requested you to” Devyani Raizada said, but her voice was warm.

“If you are complaining I can go back to work, Nani” Arnav answered, forcing the smile on his face. It cost him something, but he managed it.

“Not at all, Chote. I am glad you are giving yourself the break. Because you need it after coming back from that hellhole of a city” Devyani Raizada said, the smile turning serious.

“What I need is another head massage, Nani” Arnav said.

“Anytime, Chote! Go changes. I will come up in some time” Devyani said.

“No. I will come to your room. The less you move the better. You’re still recovering, Nani” Arnav said, loosening his tie.

“Nonsense! I got better the minute you landed in Delhi, Chote. That is all I ever needed. You by my side” Devyani Raizada said as she pressed a hand to his cheek.

“Yeah” Arnav cleared his throat.

“Come down once you have changed” Devyani said and Arnav nodded before picking up his suitcase and heading upstairs.

He changed, freshened up, and came back down to Devyani Raizada's room.

He lay down and closed his eyes as Devyani began massaging his head.

And behind his closed eyes, he found himself pulled back to the day everything had gone wrong.

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ONE WEEK AGO

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Arnav felt strange stepping out of Malik's room. Some invisible weight seemed to have lifted, and he felt lighter than he had in a long time.

You are my son too, Arnav.

He hadn't expected those words to land the way they had. For years, he had carried the belief that his father didn't want him. Didn't think of him as a son at all. That he meant nothing to Birendra Singh Malik.

The words couldn't erase the past. But they made him feel better about the man, in spite of himself.

He couldn't wait to tell Khushi.

Because it was her who asked him to go and talk to his father!

“Hema!” Arnav called out the house help.

“Ji, Chote Saheb?” The woman appeared.

“Keep an eye on him. I am going out” He said to her.

The woman nodded her head and Arnav exited the Mahal.

He had told Khushi he would see her in the evening, but he couldn't wait that long. He wanted to know how things stood between her and Akash.

Maybe he could help. If the two of them spoke to Akash together, surely he'd understand. Arnav was certain of it.

He got into his car and drove fast.

~~**~~

“I know why you didn’t tell me. Because you thought I liked someone else. You thought I liked Arpita!”

“It means that I never liked her”

“If the letters would have been for her why wouldn’t I show them to you? Why would I hide the box from you?”

“You know what I am saying. Those letters were for you, Khushi. But, I could never give them to you. In fact, I didn’t even want to. It was just my way of figuring out my thoughts. I used to write them to see what I felt. What I would say to you. But, I could never say anything. Then, you lost Garima aunty and I knew there was no way I was going to trouble our friendship in any way. But, through Arpita, I thought I could guess your feelings because you too had never said a word to me. Years went by and I became sure that expecting anything more is too much of a risk. I already had you in my life, in my house. That was enough”

Arnav stood at the door of Khushi's house, listening. The door was almost shut, not quite. Through the thin gap, he watched Akash speak, one confession after another, each one landing like a stone.

Akash, declaring he was in love with Khushi.

Arnav recalled the conversation he had with Akash not too long ago.

“Do you like her?”

“She is my best friend, Bhai”

“I know that. But do you want more, Akash? Or is there someone else? Because over years, I have heard you talk about no one but Khushi”

“I don't think about it that way, Bhai. I just know that she is a big part of my life and I don't want that to change”

“So, you don’t love her?”

“No”

He remembered how long Akash had taken to answer. But the answer had been no. He had said, clearly, that he did not love Khushi. Arnav couldn't reconcile that with what he was hearing now.

“Don’t you see, Khushi? All of this..we are meant to be together. Why else would this happen after so many years? After you gave up hope? After I gave up hope? There is nothing standing between us now. There never really was. It was just our own fear. Baba has made this possible. He wants this for us. This will make him happy. This will make us happy”

Arnav watched Akash take Khushi's hand in his. His chest tightened painfully.

He saw the confusion on Khushi's face, the struggle. Heard her say she couldn't believe what Akash was saying.

“Arnav..”

Arnav felt his heart nearly stop and then beat wildly when Khushi spoke his name. This is it. This is the moment. Khushi will tell Akash who she really loves. But Akash cut her off.

“Don’t worry about Bhai. I will talk to him. He will understand, Khushi. He knows how long we have been friends. I didn’t tell him about this..about what I felt. But, I will. I will tell him that I love you. I am sure he will understand. All these years he managed without you just fine. Both of us will talk to him together. You will tell him that you love me. We can also tell him that you started talking to him only because I asked you to. We can make everything clear to him. Once we do that, once you tell him all this, Bhai will understand. I am sure. He would agree...would understand that two people who love each other should be together. Isn’t that what we all learnt from Baba’s life?”

Arnav sucked in a sharp breath as the words struck him.

“You started talking to him only because I asked you to”

The ground seemed to shift beneath him. What was happening here? Was this some kind of nightmare?

You’re right, Akash. That is what we learnt from Malik Uncle’s life. People who do not love each other should not be together.”

Khushi was saying but Arnav did not want to hear anymore. He wanted to run but his legs seemed to be frozen.

“What are you doing?” Akash was saying.

“I am calling Arnav.”

That jolted him into motion. He turned and half-stumbled back toward his car, his phone already ringing in his hand.

He stared at it until it went silent. His hands, he noticed, were shaking. He got into the car and watched it light up again.

Khushi. Calling again.

Arnav closed his eyes, willing his hand steady.

He couldn't find the strength to answer.

What would she say? What could he possibly say back?

His entire friendship with her was built on a lie? Had she only become his friend because Akash asked her to? And now Akash was offering her the very thing she had wanted all along. A love that had always been mutual. Who was he, to have stepped into the middle of that?

What if he picked up, and she told him exactly that...that she wants to be with Akash now that she knows he loves her too?

Arnav dropped his head against the steering wheel.

Even if Khushi doesn't say that, can he do this?

I always lose the people I love the most.

His own words resonated in his head, followed by Akash's words.

"I will tell him I love you."

"He managed without you just fine."

"You started talking to him only because I asked you to."

The words wouldn't leave him.

No. He wanted to scream it, but no sound came.

Akash is in love with Khushi.

That explains why he reacted so badly. And judging by what played out in Khushi's house, there was a chance that she could accept Akash's love.

Akash was her first love. Arnav understood exactly what that meant because it was what he felt for Khushi. It meant the thing he had feared all along was true. Akash and Khushi loved each other.

And he was the one who had stepped between them.

What was he supposed to do now?

Go back and ask Akash to let her go? Could he even ask that of him?

It was one thing to tell Akash to step back when Arnav believed he only wanted this marriage for his father's sake. It was another thing entirely now.

And even if he goes back there and asks Khushi to stay with him..will he be able to live with the fact that he had taken her from his own brother?

“People who do not love each other should not be together”

“Did she say the exact words? That she loves you? Because I don’t believe she would do that, Bhai. Khushi is not so fickle. She can’t be loving me one day and you the next.”

Yes. She hadn't said the words. Was that because some part of her was still unsure? Still, somewhere, drawn to Akash?

"What should I do?" he said aloud, the words tearing out of him.

As if in answer, his phone rang again.

He stared at the screen for a few seconds and then picked up.

"Arnav! You need to come back. Right now. Ma is in the hospital" It was Manohar Singh Raizada, his mama.

Something in Arnav gave way.

"What happened?" His grip tightened on the phone.

"Don't act like you don't know anything!" His maami's voice cut in now. "We told you she was refusing her medicines, refusing dialysis. We told you she wasn't well, and you didn't care one bit. Well, you got what you wanted. She is going to die, and you will have all her property. That is what you wanted, didn't you?"

"Stop it, Manorama. This isn't the time," Manohar's voice was menacing.

Arnav closed his eyes, willing the nightmare to end.

"Please come, Arnav. She was refusing treatment too. The doctors had to sedate her before they could even begin. We don't know what is going to happen. You need to be here before she wakes."

Arnav listened, his head spinning, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs.

Was this the answer he had been asking for?

Is the dream finally over and it is time to wake up to the reality?

“I’ll be there by tonight” He said.

“That is great, Arnav. I wil see you then” Manohar Singh Raizada said.

He hung up and drove straight to the Mahal.

He reached his room and packed his essentials into a suitcase.

On his way back down, he glanced once toward the guest room, where his father lay resting.

"Are you going somewhere, Chote Saheb?" Ratan Kaka's voice.

Arnav bowed and touched the old man's feet.

"Take care, Kaka," he said, as the man rested a hand on his head.

"Should I inform Malik Saheb? Call Akash bitwa? Khushi bitiya?" Ratan Kaka asked, catching something in Arnav's face.

"No, Kaka." Arnav moved past him.

He stopped a few steps on and turned back.

"If you see Khushi... tell her it is alright. It was a dream anyway." His voice cracked before he could stop it.

"Chote Saheb—" Ratan Kaka started, but Arnav was already through the door

He opened the car and threw the suitcase in and drove away.

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PRESENT TIME

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"Feeling better?" his Nani asked.

"Hmm," he said, turning his face into her lap.

"Chote?" Devyani Singh Raizada asked, her fingers moving through his hair.

"Hmm."

"I am sorry."

Arnav looked up slowly at his Nani.

"For what, Nani?" He asked.

"I know you rushed back the moment you heard I was in the hospital. You did exactly what I knew you would. It was my last move. I knew it would hurt you, and I was being selfish, but it was the only way to pull you away from the people who have caused you pain your whole life. I am sorry I put you through it."

Arnav listened, saying nothing.

“When I called Birendra that day...I did not know you would overhear everything and the ugly past will be laid bare before you. And once that happened, I could not forgive myself. I knew it would have broken your heart to learn what a degenerate your father really is. The kind of life he lives..I never wanted him polluting you with any of it. I needed away from him from as fast as possible. At any cost!” Devyani Singh Raizada said.

Arnav could not find words to speak, so he listened.

“That man...he has some kind of talent for it. He knows how to catch hold of people’s minds. He caught hold of Sujata’s mind, and after that, he was like a disease in her. Some days I still cannot believe my own daughter knew what he was and stayed anyway. That is exactly what I feared for you. If he could trap Sujata, he could trap you too. That is why I never wanted you going back to him. I was trying to save you the truth of knowing what a repulsive, sickening man your father is. A worm who—"

"That's enough, Nani." Arnav sat up, his jaw tight, fists clenched.

“I am sorry, Chote. I know it must be hard for you to hear this, but we have not talked about it” Devyani Raizada said.

“No, Nani. We don’t need to talk about it. I want to forget all of it Everything that has anything to do with Lucknow” Arnav said.

Devyani Singh Raizada allowed a minute’s silence between them.

“Okay, Chote. But, I just need to know one thing. You haven’t forgiven him, have you? Because he does not deserve it! He is still the kind of creature he was always. A man who.. . I cannot even say it! That is something no one should forgive. He ruined Sujata’s life on purpose. He ruined your life too, because of his...sickness” Devyani Raizada said.

“I haven’t forgiven anything” Arnav said, looking away from his Nani.

“Good, Chote! That is all I wanted to hear. We do not need that kind of filth in our lives. The sooner he dies, the better it w....”

Arnav stood up sharply and started walking out.

“Arnav?” Devyani Singh Raizada called out, and he stopped.

“I was still talking” She said.

“I can’t hear any more of it, Nani” Arnav said, his fists balled.

“Can't hear waht?” Devyani Raizada asked.

“You need to rest, Nani. We don’t need this conversation. So, let’s not talk any more about this. I am back. I said I want to forget everything that has anything to do with Lucknow. Isn’t that enough?” Arnav asked, turning to look at his Nani.

“I want to know what I said that you seem so upset suddenly?” Devyani Raizada probed.

Arnav remained quiet.

“Chote?”

Arnav looked at his Nani and then looked away.

“I don’t want to have this conversation. Not now. Not ever. Lucknow..and everyone in it..does not matter to me anymore. So, let’s stop talking about them” Arnav said.

“Everyone? Does this mean you have finally realized that associating with Akash is not good for any of us?” Devyani Raizada asked, her face brightening just a little.

“Yes” Arnav said, staring at the floor.

“Good! That is really good, Chote. Of course, we can bury all of this” Devyani Raizada said and pulled him into a hug.

Arnav tried to swallow the lump burning in his throat but it did not move an inch.

They were still embracing when Hari Prakash, the house help, appeared at the door.

"Arnav Bhaiya?" He cleared his throat politely.

Arnav pulled back and turned. "What?"

"Guests. Outside. Waiting for you," the man said quickly.

"Who is it?" Devyani asked.

Arnav didn't wait to hear the answer. He was already moving toward the hall.

The moment he reached it, he stopped dead. His heart slammed into a sprint, his palms damp.

"Bhai," Akash said.

But Arnav's eyes were fixed on the other person in the room..who was staring right back at him.

"Khushi." Her name left him before he could stop it.

Because it was her. Standing there. As beautiful as ever.

For a full minute, neither of them moved, neither spoke.

"What are you two doing here?" Arnav finally managed, doing his best to bury the storm of feelings rushing through him.

He watched Khushi walk toward him. She wasn't smiling. She wasn't anything he recognized. There was a hardness in her eyes he had never seen there before.

He reached for something to say and found nothing.

He simply stood there as she stopped in front of him and slapped him. Hard.

The sting of it, the crack of sound, both rang in his ears.

But all he could focus on were her haunted eyes.

“You are a liar!” she said, raising her hand again.

Arnav didn't flinch. Didn't move to stop her. He couldn't process any of it. What was she doing here?

"You are a liar and a coward," Khushi said, her hand rising once more and connecting with his face.

He couldn't blink, couldn't think as he saw those beautiful eyes fill with tears.

Her hand rose a third time and he wanted it, the pain more than welcome. But, it never came down, didn't reach his face.

Because Devyani Singh Raizada had stepped between them, catching her wrist, staring Khushi down.

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