Chapter 118

Chapter 193: Remembering a Dear Friend

One afternoon, in the second week of their abstaining from each other, after lunch, Kushi was in her usual spot in his library, near the window, reading a book. It so happened that as she was reading a certain part of the passage she was reminded instantly of a dear friend who was greatly missed.

Shutting the book, she replaced it back in the shelf and then walked to the desk in the center of the room.

Picking up a quill and the inkbottle as well as a fresh leaf of parchment, she returned back to the armchair beside the window. Plopping into the chair, she propped up the thick parchment on her lap and after dipping the end of the quill in the inkbottle (which was positioned cautiously on the wide arrest of the armchair), she began addressing a letter to her friend.

Dearest Lady Lavanya,

I know you may feel sore that after I sent you a letter about Jiji's engyesis, there was a sudden deficiency of letters. You must forgive me for my silence and the absence of my letters which I'd promised you. You will not believe it if I tell you of the shocking turn of things that Arhasia has come to witness in the past few weeks. And these things, let me tell you, have most devastatingly affected the life of your particular friend. There, I am talking in circles again like I always used to. Let me get to the matter, hoping you will take the news in a calm spirit.

Kushi paused and then wrote: I am married.

She bit her lower lip, worrying if the last sentence would throw Lady Lavanya in a shock.

Her quill added the next words: To Lord Arnav.

Kushi was certain Lady Lavanya would burst a vein.

I am trying to make this sound as diluted and less bitter as possible: We married because we had to, not because we wanted. Infact, the marriage was so suddenly decided that the bride came to know of it only minutes before the wedding ceremony. The respective elders were not even given a hint of its occurrence until the wedded couple presented themselves before them. The justification of the marriage is the result of a hard-headed one's thoughtless leap into taking things his way. If he had been sane and taken a moment to think, we could have avoided marrying each other. But no. Arrogant Lordy Lord and his blind rage always gets his ways! I would never think of wedding the man my dear friend had loved. I would never harm you so, Lady Lavanya, and you know it. You will remember of course that I only despised this man and yet we are now enemies wedded in an eternal trap of torture laid upon our very pride.

But I must confess, at times I surprisingly felt sad for him, for his plight for his coldness, believing they were masks behind which he hid his hurting self. You might remember the night I shared this thought with you, Lady Lavanya, for that night was the one and only night we slept together like friends in blood and sisters in bond.

It is strange, Lady Lavanya but now when I come to think of it, I fear I have mixed feelings for this man who has become my husband. I loathe him, yet I seek him. I desire to distance from him but find myself relentlessly drawn to him. I must be ill somewhere, certainly.

To tell the truth, and I will tell this to you alone Lady Lavanya for you have been a most trusting friend to me. As I was saying, to tell the truth, I've witnessed strange things the moment I was wedded to the monster. Pardon me for referring to him so but you yourself know what a heartless animal he is!

Animal. That is what I'm trying to tell you. At times, particularly in the nights, it seems as though he is less of a human and more of an animal. I am scared of him, fearing that he will harm me though it may not be deliberately. Pray do not laugh when you read this absurd revelation but what I say is true and I say it with a serious face which you would have seen if you had been here. It is impossible by every feasible standards of our existence, but I know no other way to put this truth across to you. Have you never felt a sense of secretiveness in his deliberate distances? There is something ominous in the air of the Castle, so many mysteries related to the past of the Raizadas that I must get to the root of.

Pardon me if what I write offends you but I simply must tell someone. Lady Anjali is in her seventh month might be affected if told of my tales of woe, Jiji is busy managing both her husband and her mother-in-law and the kitchen duty as well and I wish not to worry her. And Nani...well, she is the most secretive of the lot and won't help me out if I were to offer her any hints. She seems bent on me finding things myself. Besides, she is lately pre-occupied in thoughts of her own. I wonder what they are.

I stray from my manners again. The reason I am writing this is not just to acquaint yourself with what is happening here alone but because I earnestly want to know how you are, if you have truly surpassed your ache and if you have heard from Master Aman again. He must be traveling always, trying to find the right trade and merchandise that will permit him to flourish. If you do keep in touch with him, do pass him my regards...and the bewildering news of Arhasia that you are now aware of.

Oh, Lady Lavanya...I really dearly do miss you. I know you will never find a reason to come here again but I really do wish you would. I would have really loved to spend a few days with you because I feel that the moment we transformed from maid-mistress to friends, it was time for you to depart. Wish we could turn back time and have our happy days again...Oh, and I could teach you how to whistle, though it is thought to not be a ladylike fashion. JayPrakash taught me how to when I caught him whistling to the girl who'd come to deliver our ordered vegetables last day. The training in whistling was in return for my silence of what I witnessed. Not that I would benefit in any way in learning the skill of a whistle but I've seen Lord Arnav whistle his horse to come to him and I thought the trick would come to handy to a Lady if it is for a Lord.

Missing you sorely,

Your dear friend, Kushi.

The sunlight from the window glistened on the fresh words on the parchment just before the ink dried. With a smile, Kushi folded the parchment and kissed it, deciding to hand it over to Rahim Chacha that day itself so that the letter would reach the addressee within the week.

Night fall came upon Arhasia quite early. Everyone was asleep in their rooms by the time the Lords walked into the Castle. After dinner, Lord Arnav was retiring to his room when he decided to pay a visit to the library, knowing that Kushi must have visited it earlier in the day.

The moment Lord Arnav stepped into his library, he stopped. He could feel her presence lingering in the memory of the room. He sat in his armchair before his massive desk and lit the candle, the dim light casting pale strokes over the articles in the dark room, the air of which hung in sad silence.

He picked up the quill on his desk and was about to dip it into the inkbottle when he paused. Bringing the quill to his face, he dipped his head and sniffed the length of the quill. Her sweet scent pulsated into his veins, awakening something in him.

He dropped the quill to the table and stood up, looking around yearningly.

He walked about the library, feeling and studying the trail of her scent...He was walking along a line of bookshelves when he paused and drew a book from the million neatly stacked. There was an eager light in his eyes for his senses were never wrong when it came to her.

He returned to the table and standing beside the candle, opened the book.

Strangely, he could actually see her in his place. In the darkness of his room, as he flicked through the pages by the candlelight, he could see how her tender fingers had eagerly flipped page after page in the sunlight flitting through the library window.

The page that was opened before him was a piece of Robert Browning's poetry. The lines on the page were from the middle portion of the poem and he read the first three:

Your soul was pure and true,

The good stars met in your horoscope,

Made you of spirit, fire and dew-

A slight smirk lit his face. Certainly, it seemed that Browning knew such a girl would one day be born and had prophesied it in his poem.

Lord Arnav closed the book and turning it over to its hard cover, he ran his hand gently over the hard surface sensing perfectly well that this side of the book had been propped up on her lap while she immersed in her reading.

All of a sudden, the book dropped from his hand and he was staring into the darkness.

"Kushi..." He was overcome with a sudden desire to see her.

Without waiting to think, he rushed out of the library, raced across the dark corridor, down the stairs and towards his sister's room. He had barely reached the door when his own voice echoed from his memory...I never want to see your face again!

Closing his eyes, he breathed in. No. Don't.

The hand that was reaching out for the door handle was withdrawn and held clenched at his side.

Refusing to open his eyes for fear the sight of the door would change his mind, he turned about and stormed up the stairs to his room.

He hadn't notified the person in the distance, returning from the kitchen after an urgent conversation with Surabhi. Lady Anjali stared at the darkness where her brother had stood seconds ago, her eyes filling with happy tears as she whispered her uncontainable realization, "My Chotey...he's in love."