Chapter 96
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[MEMBERSONLY]
But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep...
-Robert Frost
Chapter One Hundred Sixty Nine: Exposed
Everything around her froze to a standstill. Even the wind was soundless as it flapped wildly against her gown. Her hands trembled and she leaned against the wall, fearing she would fall over.
She closed her eyes and tried to inhale deeply.
No, Kushi, no. You saw it wrong. You were just imagining it.
Still leaning against the wall, she looked over her shoulder at the scene before the lake.
General Shyam Manohar Jha was caressing Lady Anjali's cheek as she laughed merrily at some joke he had made.
Kushi moved back into the shadow of the wall, closed her eyes again and took a deep breath.
She felt pain sting at her heart.
Bowing her head, she clenched her fists and stood silently, battling her tears from surfacing.
She heard the sound of someone approaching and she looked up apprehensively, only to find that it was Lady Anjali walking back towards the Castle.
The Lady was so radiant and blissful, after having been with her husband that she didn't notice Kushi standing hidden in the shadow of the tall Castle wall.
Kushi watched with a broken heart the happy Lady Anjali pass by and after Lady Anjali had turned the corner, Kushi closed her eyes and felt her heart sink.
She didn't know what to do.
She didn't know how to face the world.
She was scared.
She wished she had her father with her to tell her what to do.
She felt lonely and lost.
And betrayed. By a man who she had believed to be a good friend.
And she was afraid. For the gently trusting Lady Anjali. For the child in her womb.
What was the General doing? Why had he-?
Kushi clenched her fists, angry tears in her eyes refusing to fall.
She moved away from the wall and stepped into the open space.
The General was still there by the lake, watching the moonlight glimmering over the water with his back turned to her.
The wind was wild and roving.
Her feet weighed with grief but she found the will to move them, and with her heartbeat racing, Kushi walked determinedly to where the General stood.
Lord Arnav moved about in his room, walking to and fro as he let his thoughts try and make sense. His sister's last words had done him unexpected worry.
He paused. Was his sister really talking about Kushi? Or did he think that she was talking about Kushi because HE was thinking about Kushi?
He clenched his fists: his sister SO loved tweaking his sane senses!
He resumed the walk in his room, back and forth, but then, to settle his fuddled thoughts, he stopped at the side table and poured himself a little red wine.
Sipping from the crystal glass, he moved towards the window, his observant eyes immediately spotting the couple near the lake.
A slight smile crept on his face seeing his sister happy in the arms of her husband.
Lord Arnav sighed, he would do anything to keep his sister happy this way. But he knew what she would tell him if he said that to her: I have a husband to keep me happy now.
He frowned, his sister had everything revolving around the idiocy called marriage...he didn't mind her having got married, but if only she didn't have to pull him into following her ludicrous footsteps!
After the first girl is married off, the parents would seek a worthy spouse for their second...
He looked at the scene below: a husband embracing his wife.
After Payal's wedding, the Guptas would look for someone to wed Kushi off to...
Immediately, an image crossed his mind: Kushi in the embrace of an unfamiliar would-be husband...
With an annoyed frown, Lord Arnav returned to the table and placed the glass on the table. He had to do something about this. He could NOT see Kushi in the arms of another man!
The General paused and looked over his shoulder. There was someone there and he was certain it was not his wife.
He turned around, and his heart stilled for a moment when his gaze met the raging glare of Kushi Kumari Gupta.
"Miss Kushi-?" he struggled to find the right words for the unexpected encounter.
Kushi lifted an open-palmed hand, "Not a word, General Jha. Not a word."
He paused and appraised her. She was clearly seething with resentment and the fists at her sides were pale from the strain of being clenched so hard. He was certain if she clenched any further, he would see blood coming out of her palms from where her fingers dug into them.
"You lied..." she began in a low trembling voice, so angry that she could not speak aloud in fear of screaming.
"I did not," he said gently, "You have got it all wrong, Miss Kushi. It is not what you see-"
"Outrageous!" exclaimed Kushi, "Tell me the truth: is Lady Anjali your wife?"
"Miss Kushi, I-"
"TELL ME THE TRUTH."
The General stood still, and then the warmth in his eyes was replaced by a cold light, "Yes, she is. Lady Anjali is my wife."
Kushi felt the words echo around her, numbing her reactions.
She was afraid she would faint and she must have appeared unsteady because the General reached out his hands as though to catch her but Kushi hastily stepped away and held out a hand to stop him, "Don't you DARE take a single step towards me, General Jha."
The General was earnest, "If you will calm down, I can explain-"
"No man can explain his unfaithfulness towards a wife who loves him with all her life," said Kushi, agonizing inside, "Why? Why did you do this?"
"Do what?"
Kushi was staggered, "Do what? Do WHAT? You led me on! You led me to think you were a man good at heart when it truth you were nothing but a vile lying worm!"
"I do not know what you are talking of," said the General, looking clueless, "How do you suppose I lied to you?"
"You told me you were unmarried."
"Did I?" the General pointed out, "Did I tell you or write in any of my letters that I was unmarried? You never once asked me, Miss Kushi, for me to give you any such answer as to my matrimonial state."
Kushi scowled, "You came to the village one night to...to ask me to be your wife-?"
"My wife?" the General looked surprised, "How can I ask you to be my wife when I already have one?"
Kushi was stunned, "But that night, you-"
"Miss Kushi," the General began calmly, "You mistake me, again. You clearly did not listen to what I had asked you that night, it seems. Do you not remember? The exact words? I had asked if you would be the companion of my heart."
Kushi felt sick inside. "Companion...?" she voiced weakly, "Companion of your heart...? Doesn't that mean wife?"
"Does it have to?" the General asked curiously, his gaze innocent, "Miss Kushi, you let yourself worry over things that need no worrying."
Kushi shook her head, frowning, "You are messing words with my senses, General!"
Was he playing her into a trap? She felt helpless, and desperately searched her memory for a strand of argument with which she could weaken his proud stance.
She looked up, her eyes glinting, "My father! Babuji had met you at the Camp once! You didn't tell him you were married then!"
"No, I didn't," said the General causally, "I saw no necessity."
"What do you mean necessity?" she was furious, "Babuji had come there because of the proposal you had made!"
"Had he now?" the General was amazed, "Foremost, I repeat, I did not propose to you. And secondly, for this I clearly remember, he NEVER once mentioned any intention of wedding you to me. In fact, he came there as though on a casual visit in escort of having fulfilled the order of the extra swords made by his sister, your aunt."
Kushi felt her willpower shatter, "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what, Miss Kushi?" the General asked, "If you have anything against what I say, do refute-"
"You lie!" said Kushi, angrily, tears in her eyes, "You lie to me, to my family, to your wife...!!"
"How do I lie?"
"Don't try to win me over to your side with your honeyed words!" She gritted her teeth, "You dared to keep secret the fact that you were married. It is not required that someone must ask you about your matrimonial state! You must have the dignity to reveal your spousal!!" And then suddenly, a memory crossed her mind and her eyes raged with fire, "Last day, when I met you at the Castle stable, you said you were a guest here! You had the vile audacity to lie then, didn't you?!"
"That's because I want you, Miss Kushi," the General confessed solemnly.
Kushi was shocked, "Do you even HEAR what you're saying?"
"I need you to help me get rid of something," said the General, stepping towards her but Kushi moved away, "I will help you in NO WAY, General. My family nor I want ANYTHING to do with you! I feel disgusted standing here before you and listening to the filthy rant of your foul mouth!"
"You accuse me of reasons you cannot explain yourself," said the General firmly, "I told you plainly that I had no intentions of marrying you."
"Then what did you mean by companion of heart?" she said, "Did you mean friend? Because undoubtedly, if you had been my friend you would have told me you were married! And you would have told me to whom! I had even written to you that I was serving Lady Lavanya at the Castle and even mentioned Lady Anjali in my letters. And still you kept your marriage a secret!"
"My wife never told you who her husband was."
"She never got the chance to."
"And I suppose I never got a chance either to tell you about my marriage."
"Stop fooling around, General," said Kushi, "Undeniably, there is something wrong with this entire game you are playing!"
"I play no games," said the General sternly, "It is you who are making it a game with your over-thinking."
He stepped towards her and she moved back, "I said STOP! Don't near me or I'll scream!"
"Miss Kushi, I want no disputes among us," he said, "I like you and I do not want to lose you."
"You lost me the moment I realized how revolting you are!"
"I have not harmed you or hurt you in any way," said the General, "And you know that. Then why do you say so?"
"You...you..." Kushi pointed an accusing finger at him and then another memory crossed her, "At the ball! You danced with me and you spoke to me as though you had never known me! You even asked me my name when all long you knew it!!!"
The General paused, a shadow crossing over his face as the clouds covered the moon, "I couldn't reveal myself to you at that moment for you would have made a scene just like the one you are making one now. I needed to reveal myself to you at the right time by assuring you that what you had assumed about my intentions were wrong."
"LIAR!!"
"I need you," he said, "Please do not harbor animosity towards me, Miss Kushi."
"I despise you, General!" she yelled, "I hate you! Everything about you! Your despicable face! Your way with words and your blackened heart!"
"I cannot lose you again, Miss Kushi," said the General, hurt, "You do not know...it is essential that you understand me."
"Insanity has blinded you of reasons!" Kushi said, exasperatedly, "Tell me! What wrong has she done to deserve this from you? Downright infidelity!"
The clouds moved away from the moon and the light shone on his shadowed face, "What wrong has she done? She married me."
There was an evil glint in his eyes when he said those words and Kushi felt unsettled. Without a moment's pause, she stepped away.
"I hate you, General. You will never find a friend in me, ever again!"
And with that final look of disgust, she turned and ran away from him and his evilness, while the General glared at her as she slipped into the darkness.
A little too high for the words to be heard, Lord Arnav, in the fury of his hard thinking with regard to Kushi, had once again passed by his window.
He would have continued on with his to and fro ambling, if he hadn't noticed that his sister had left the place and there was another woman with the General.
He frowned doubtfully and stepped closer to the balcony. Of course, he could not hear any words. But he sensed there was something wrong.
Kushi looked horrified and angry. And the General appeared as though trying to explain himself.
Was something wrong? Why would bother-in-law need to look so worried like that? And why was Kushi so angry...?
Without another moment's thought, he moved away from the balcony and out of his room and then headed for the stairs.
Angered and disappointed with the turn of events, General Shyam Jha barged into his room.
Shutting the door, he leaned his back against it, indignation rising inside him, as tears of hopelessness stung in his eyes.
One moment was all it took to undo everything he had worked hard for to come crashing down. Now he would never get cured. He had done everything to remain kind and caring to that village girl but she had to go and stumble upon the truth that rendered him stranded.
Every planned, gentle effort he had labored upon to get her to like him and maintain that affection...all the letters they had bonded with...
Desperate anger drove him mad and he moved towards the bed and knelt down. His hands reached under the bed and pulled out his suitcase, the one which he carried with him when he went on his war assignments.
He opened it and rummaged through the articles and newly ironed uniforms until he found what he was looking for.
Under the clothes, wedged between his badged soldier hat and the painting of his wife's face was a stack of letters tied together with a thin string.
He took the stack out, shut his suitcase, slid it back under the bed and made for the door with the stack in hold.
Without stopping, he marched right on from his room to the kitchen which was also empty of personals for everyone was outside preparing for the procession that would begin in an hour.
Fuming, he stormed through the kitchen, and moved through the first kitchen to the third, until he was standing before the furnaces.
He put the stack down on the counter and fueled the fire in one of the furnaces until it was blazing wild.
Then he picked up the stack of letters and, after untying the string that bound them, threw them mercilessly into the fire.
He watched them burn, with cold determination, "Well, Miss Kushi," he whispered to the burning letters, "if by love I cannot have you, then by cunningness will I make you obey."
He feared nothing. There were only three people who could endanger his little plan among which Master Shashi was of no harm now. Madhumati, he would simply have to cleverly avoid.
And Kushi? He smirked. Kushi was too pure at heart. She would not do anything that would hurt her Lady Anjali. The secret was safe.
He moved away from the furnace and headed for the garden to join his wife, his hands in his pockets and his defiant head lifted in the pride of his shrewdness.
Lord Arnav stepped into the garden but saw no one there at the lake.
He frowned, where did they go?
He turned about and headed for the Castle again.
He saw the crowd before the Castle, preparing for the procession, but he didn't see Kushi or the General there.
As he was passing by, he saw his sister, standing with the excited crowd, laughing at something Rahim Chacha had said.
With that beautiful smile on her face, she looked over her shoulder and caught her brother's gaze. She waved a hand and beckoned him towards her.
His eyes lit on seeing her so happy and he signed with his hands that he would be with her in a moment and then he turned and made for the Castle, his expression serious.
He moved through the lobby and through the living room and had barely stepped into the dining room when he saw from the corner of his eye, General Shyam emerging from the kitchen and heading towards the central doors.
Lord Arnav stopped and was about to call out to the General when he noticed that there was light coming from the kitchen.
He frowned. Everyone was in the garden. Who would-?
He moved towards the kitchen, his swift strides making way through one kitchen to the next until he found himself before the blazing furnace.
"What the-!" he stared at the fire, burning with no pot over it and that was when he noticed the parchments burning at its heart.
Why would his brother-in-law burn so many parchments? And at this late hour too when everyone was busy with the marriage?
Lord Arnav began to turn away, assuming the parchments to be completely brunt by then, when his quick eyes caught sight of something on the parchment nearest to the furnace rim.
Without thinking, he reached out to pull it out.
Fire scorched the tips of his fingers and he withdrew, rubbing hard at his fingers as hastily looked around for something to poke the parchment out of the furnace with.
The heat from the furnace was doing him no aid, but he soon fetched a poker from under the furnace and knocked the burning parchment out of the furnace and onto the floor.
Throwing the rod aside, he bent down and picked up the charred parchment by one corner, while the other corner flamed.
Fire was eating its way from one end of the parchment, but before it had reached the end he was holding, he had read the closing words of a letter which the parchment detained.
The burning parchment turned to dark ashes that drifted down, ominously fluttering, to the cold floor where it lay smoking and blackened at his feet while he stared into the blank space before him, feeling his world crumbling down, as the last words lingered in the air like the memory of a bad dream...
With regards and wishes that you fare well in battle, Kushi Kumari Gupta.
Hold on tight, Arhasia. The Strorm is only beginning and when it lashes, it will lash violently. But what waits at the end of the Storm makes the Storm worth facing. Most importantly, thank you for all your prayers and for being so understanding. My Dad's doing well and back home.
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